Prologue: The Warp Pipe
12:00 A.M.
Mushroom Kingdom
Castle Backyards
*rumble rumble* A large, green warp pipe with strange encryptions on it appears. Everybody runs outside.
Toadsworth: What's all this hullabaloo? What of the princess? Er... Princess' backyard?
Mario: A warp pipe... strange... Oh! An encryption...
Luigi: 3-13-5-4-12. Ql Yltpbo'p Zxpqib... Whazat?
Mario: Ql Yltpbo'p Zxpqip...
Luigi jumps in.
Mario: Luigi!!!
Mario jumps in after him.
Toadsworth: I demand, what is that thing?
Where are you going? What's Ql Yltpbo'p Zxpqip?
Chapter 1: Bowser's Castle
Mario and Luigi end up in Bowser's Castle. They are ambushed by the Koopalings.
Bowser: Hehehehe... I see you fell right into our trap.
Mario: MAMAMIA... Just the start and it's already game over... I need an extra life...
Mario and Luigi are thrown into the dungeon.
Mario: So... have any ideas?
Luigi: Nope... I could use a Super Scope or Beam Sword right now.
Mario: And I could really use a... ummm....
Luigi: What what whaaaaaaaaaaat?!
Mario: Pasta... I wish we were back in the old days...
Flashback…
Mario is on a star-shaped platform with Bowser. Mario runs around to the back of Bowser, swings him around by the tail, throws him, and Bowser lands on a bomb.
End Flashback…
Luigi: What was that for?
Mario: Nothing, I just like bringing it out.
Luigi: I hope you mean bringing it up.
Mario: No, I mean I got out.
Luigi stares wide-eyed at Mario, who is out of their cell.
Luigi: GACK!!!
Luigi walks through the hole that Mario created with the laser he stole from Ludwig.
Mario: Now let’s go beat up-
???: Beat up who?
A shadow emerges from the darkness, revealing itself to be Bowser.
Mario: Um... Luigi, hehe...
Mario throws a fake punch at Luigi. Luigi staggers back as if he were hit.
Bowser: Hehehe... Sure.
Mario throws a left jab at Bowser, while
Luigi slides under and thwacks him from behind. Bowser falls to the floor
and another warp pipe flies up. It says: 3-13-5-4-12. Ql Qeb Ybxkybxk Hfkdalj
Chapter 2: Back to the Bean
Fawful: Eyahaha! Cackletta, arise!
Purple smoke comes out from a capsule and forms into Cackletta.
Cackletta: Fawful, did you get hetay arpway ipepay etsay puay?
Fawful: Esyay, Iay idday etgay hetay arpway ipepay etsay puay.
Cackletta: Why are we speaking in Pig Latin?
Fawful: So nobody can understand us!
Meanwhile in the Beanbean Castle…
Prince Peasley: Queen Bean! I just overheard Cackletta and Fawful and, well, CACKLETTA'S BACK! And they were speaking in Pig Latin... interesting... They were talking about... SETTING UP A WARP PIPE!!!
Queen Bean: So, who cares? We know the Mario brothers can beat them, you even lost to them!
Peasley: No, don't do it...
Flashback…
Peasley: YOU BEAN, YOU!!! *smack* Ouch!
Queen Bean: On with the flashback!
Peasley: If you get the Beanstar pieces first, then you get 9,999,999,999,999 Mushroom coins! (Yeah, and if I get the Beanstar pieces first, you have to give me Greenie's hat there... hehehe...)
A couple hours later…
Peasley: (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!)
Y-you did it...
(NONONONONONONONONO!!!) You get 9,999,999,999,999,999
Mushroom coins! (And I really wanted Greenie's hat there...)
Peasley leaves.
Peasley: (At least I only wasted 99 Beanbean coins, hahaha!!!)
End Flashback...
BOWSER'S CASTLE...
Bowser: Nuuuurrrrgh...
Mario and Luigi jump into the warp pipe.
Fawful: THEY'RE HERE!
Cackletta: EYAHAHA! Ahem, you have been ambushed by the great Cackletta! Now, I will steal the Beanstar, and you will all die!!! Now, as you know-
Mario and Luigi appear through the warp pipe.
Cackletta: -and then I will see that you have been captured by the operators of the winding road that's nine yards long, and now I will see to it that you-GACK!!! How long have you been here?
Mario: Exactly 22 and 1/2 seconds.
Luigi: Geez, you didn't have to go through the whole nine yards, besides, it's a long and winding roooooooad!
Cackletta: Heh?
Cackletta pulls a switch and a cage falls on top of the Bros.
Mario: Mamamia, already halfway through and it's already over, can I have another 1-Up Mushroom?
Mario takes out the laser pen, but it doesn't work.
Luigi: I got it!
Mario: What?
Luigi: What 3-13-5-4-12 Ql Yltpbo'p Zxpqip and 3-13-5-4-12 Ql Qeb Ybxkybxk Hfkdalj are! Look, I was thinking: digits, so I went like this... 3|-1|3|-5|-4|-1|2| So that means they want us to add 3, subtract 1, add 3, subtract 5, subtract 4, subtract 1, and add 2. For example A +3 and -1 is A-B-C-B.
Mario: I get it! Go on.
Luigi: BUT, that's how they got from whatever letter to Q. So we need to do it backwards. Q: Q-P-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-X-W-V-W-V-U-T. Q=T! I see all we did is add 3... so... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... To Bowser's Castle... IDIOTS! I should have noticed before!
Cackletta: What are you talking about? Gimme that! Hmmm... 3|-1|3|-5|-4|-1|2|? Whatever.
Luigi: Phew... She gave my paper back.
The next one... To the Beanbean Kingdom.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Mario: Oh, good calculations and observations Luigi!
Fawful: It's ready!
Cackletta: Good. FIRE THE SWITCHING BEAM!
Mario and Luigi: Wha? Switching Beam?!
Cackletta: Yes, I can switch anything to my desire. For example!
Cackletta fires the beam at a lamp, which turns into a ray gun.
Cackletta: Now to turn you two into air! Fawful! Fire!
Fawful: But your mustardyness, the joystick-type lever is stuck!
Cackletta: Pull hard!
Fawful: Okay... URRRRGH! URRRRRRRGH!
Luigi: ??? Okay, since when did Fawful turn evil? I thought his I HAVE FURY! Days were over... He sold badges to us... even the one that especially helped: the Ulti-free Badge. I thought nowadays he had anger and pity... I'm confused.
Mario: He wanted the beans because *points to the tank powering the switching beam* that's what powers the beam...
Fawful: I think I have it...
Fawful pulls the lever down but then staggers backwards, hitting the machine. The machine turns around and hits Cackletta.
Cackletta: EYAHAHUH? (ZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT) ACKKKKKKKKKKKGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (POOF)
Cackletta turns into air, causing another warp pipe to appear.
Luigi: This one says: GACK!
Mario: We're headed to GACK?!
Luigi: It says ????.
He jumps in.
Mario: I'm staying right here!
Luigi lands in a hole in the ground, filled with swirly yellow and purple stuff.
Luigi: Gack! A time hole!
Luigi gets warped, and gets knocked out immediately. All he saw was a glimpse of purple.
Mario: ... Right about... NOW!
Mario jumps in, lands in the time hole, and lands on a purple Mushroom.
Mario: This must be... SHROOB'S CASTLE,
IN THE PAST?!
Chapter Three: The Shroob Clones
BOWSER'S CASTLE...
Bowser: Nurrrrrgh... Huh? Whazat?
Bowser sees the warp pipe.
Bowser: Hehehe... Kids! Come down here!
Bowser Jr: What is it? I've been painting my new art!
Wendy: Come on! I need to put on makeup!
Ludwig: Vhat is it? I vas just vorking on a duplicate FLUDD!
Morton: Yeah, and I was just practicing reciting the whole dictionary! A: a, the first letter in the alphabet. A, adjective, the singular indefinite article, one; any, each one of a kind. Aardvark, noun, an African anteater. Aardwolf aardwolves, noun, a carnivorous...
Bowser: SETTLE DOWN!!! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! EACH OF YOU! JUMP IN THAT WARP PIPE NOW!!! I WANT TO SEE WHAT'S IN THERE!
Bowser and his kids jump in, landing in the second- er, third, in our case- warp pipe, falling in the timehole, and landing next to Mario.
Mario: MAMAMIA! Stop following me, you pesky little rascals, you-
???: @&$^&#$%^@$^#^$!
Morton: ... Abhorrence: noun, detestation, horror, disgust...
Ludwig: Vhat'd it say?
Morton: I said, abhorrence: noun, detestation...
Ludwig: Not you, that!
Ludwig points to a Shroob.
Ludwig: I forgot my translator, so I have no idea vhat it's saying...
Shroob: ^$%, $#^%#! $#^%$#^#! ^%##$#^... %*&^%%$*^. *&^&^! (Now Shroobs! Attack them! Whatever they are... but who cares? Get their DNA!
Mario, who somehow has Ludwig's translator, listens.
Mario: AUUUGH! Luigi, run! ... ... ... I forgot he's not here...
Ludwig: If my hypothesis is correct, they want to make clones of us!
A clone of Luigi walks up to Mario, but is in Shroob form.
Mario: Shroob clones!
Shrooigi: %^#^%$@#, ^$&%$#! (Now, my clone's brother, DIE!!!)
Shrooigi just simply takes a hair from Mario's moustache and runs away. Shroobs take away strands from Bowser and his kids' hair.
Ludwig: Now, to meet Shroodvig, Shrowser, Marioob, Shrorton, Shrendy, Shrarry, Shriggy, Shroy, and Shremmy.
Mario: How'd you know all their names?
Ludwig: I dunno. Just a guess.
Mario suddenly has a vision.
???: A door. That is all. Any more questions?
Mario: Yes, do I look skinnier since the last time we met?
???: No. I thought I told you to stop eating so much linguini. I will make you skinnier if you get me the Aurora Block.
??? 2: No! Last time you made us get that, it made me cry like a baby!
??? 3: BWAHAHA!!!
??? 2: Run!!!
Mario: Okeydokey!
Mario: That... was weird....
Shrowser and the other Shroob clones walk up to their former selves. Mario throws a right jab at Shrendy while Bowser threw a left jab at Shroodwig, who tried to bite Wendy, who was putting makeup on and saw Shremmy coming at her through her mirror.
MEANWHILE...
Luigi: What are you doing with me?
???: @#$^%$^$$. ^%$%$&$#... $^#%^$#... %$#^%$#%#! %^%^%^%^%^!!!
Luigi: Ummmm... Translation? Have no idea what you just said.
???: @#$^%$^$$. ^%$%$&$#... $^#%^$#... %$#^%$#%#! %^%^%^%^%^!!!
Luigi: NEVER MIND!
???: %^&*^$! ^*%$&%$#! %$#%$#^%!!!
Mario runs past Marioob, past Shremmy, over Shriggy, under Shroy, to the left of Wendy, to the right of Luigi's cage, to the right of...
Mario: LUIGI'S CAGE?!
Luigi: Shhh!
Mario: What?
???: @#$#@$#@%$# %$#%^ %#%^ $# ^% %$# ^%$#^%$# ^%$# ^%$! (Now Shroobs! Boos! Attack! Kill Mario!
Thousands of Shroobs shoot Mario with their ray guns, only leaving a black spot with smoke coming out.
Luigi: Mario!!!
???: @#$^%$#@!
Luigi, with a tear in his eye, sees Bowser coming up to ???.
Bowser: Now, you will-
??? shoots a dark orb at Bowser who goes flying into a cage. ??? reveals herself to be... PRINCESS SHROOB?! (Note from the author: I'm even surprised I wrote that down!)
Luigi: I will avenge Mario! This means WAR!
Luigi runs up to Princess Shroob and...
BATTLE SEQUENCE!
(Author's Note: That was very unexpected...)
HP:
Luigi: 50/50
Princess Shroob: 2,000/2,000
Luigi uses Ultra Hammer! Charging...
Let Go!
25 damage!
Princess Shroob throws an orb! Luigi hammers! Counter attack successful! Attack backfires!
Luigi: 50/50
Princess Shroob: 1,950/2,000
Luigi uses Special Ability: Beanstar
Wish!
500 DAMAGE!
Princess Shroob uses Barophobia on Luigi! Luigi cannot jump now!
Luigi: 50/50
Princess Shroob: 1,450/2000
Luigi uses Special Ability: Hammer!
1,234 damage!
Princss Shroob uses sacrifice!
HP is now halved!
Luigi: 25/50
Princess Shroob: 213/2,000
Luigi uses Special Ability: Beanstar
Wish!
500 DAMAGE!
Luigi wins!
BATTLE OVER!
Luigi: Mario...
Chapter 3, Part 2: The War Goes On
Shroob Clones: $^%%$#%!!! $^#&%$#!!!
BATTLE SEQUENCE!
Luigi: 25/50
Shrooigi: 50/50
Luigi uses-
Shrooigi has the badge: First Strike!
Shrooigi uses NO SPECIALS! Luigi may not use special attacks!
Luigi uses jump! 2 DAMAGE!
Luigi: 25/50
Shrooigi: 48/50
Lui-
Shrooigi uses Dark Tornado! Luigi's
HP is now halved!
Lui-
Shrooigi uses item Second Turn! Shrooigi
uses Ray Gunner Stunner! Luigi's HP is halved again!
Luigi is stunned!
Luigi: This guy is just plain cheating!
Luigi: 12/50
Shrooigi: 48/50
Luigi: 6/50
Shrooigi: 48/50
Luigi is stunned!
Shrooigi uses Clone!
Luigi: 6/50
Shrooigi? (1): 48/50
Shrooigi? (2): 48/50
Shrooigi? (3): 48/50
Luigi is not stunned!
Lui-
Shrooigi? (1) uses halving device!
Luigi's HP is now halved! (Again.)
Lui-
Shrooigi? (2) uses halving device!
Luigi's HP is now halfed! (How many times?!)
LUI-
Shrooigi? (3) uses halving device!
Luigi's HP cannot be halved! (YAY!)
Luigi jumps on Shrooigi? (1)! Shrooigi?
(1) dissapears!
Luigi: 3/50
Shrooigi? (1): 48/50
Shrooigi? (2): 48/50
Shrooigi? (3): 48/50
Luigi: 1/50
Shrooigi? (1): 48/50
Shrooigi? (2): 48/50
Shrooigi? (3): 48/50
Luigi: 1/50
Shrooigi? (2): 48/50
Shrooigi? (3): 48/50
L-
Shrooigi? (2) Jumps! Luigi counterattacks!
Counterattack successful! 3 DAMAGE!
L-
Shrooigi? (3) uses Mushroom! HP +2!
Luigi ultra jumps on Shrooigi? (2)!
Shrooigi? (3) dissapears! 20 DAMAGE!
Luigi: 1/50
Shrooigi? (2): 45/50
Shrooigi? (3): 48/50
Luigi: 1/50
Shrooigi: 25/50
Luig-
Shrooigi jumps!
Luigi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *GASP*
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Shrooigi gets hit by one of Bowsers
flames.
Luigi counterattacks! Counterattack
successful! 5 damage! Luigi uses Ultra Jump! 20 DAMAGE!!!
Luigi: 1/50
Shrooigi: 0/50
Luigi wins!
BATTLE OVER!
Somehow all the other Shroobs explode.
Wendy: I still don't get how they could have cloned us into Shroob forms.
Ludwig: It's obvious. Vhen they took strands of our hair, they inserted it into amino acids, and by the atomic and molecular demagnitism of neutrons, protons, and electrons, and taking samples of their bodies, they were able to create Shroob-like atoms, *gasp* and combine it vith our DNA to make our Shroob-like forms.
Wendy: Ummm... that was uncalled for.
Luigi: I got it!
Luigi uses BEANSTAR WISH!
Luigi: I wish... that Mario was still alive.
Nothing happens.
Luigi: Aw, it's hopeless!
Suddenly, the Beanstar dissapeared.
???: EYAHAHA!!! You thought you had defeated me?! Well, I think differently! EYAHAHA!
Luigi: Why you-
It was Cackletta. Suddenly, Cackletta has a surprised look, and she falls to the ground, unconscious.
Luigi looks up, and sees Mario with a fireball in his hand.
Luigi: Mario?! How did you-?!
Mario: I jumped out of the way right before they shot. The shockwaves were so strong that I got sent to another part of the castle.
Luigi: Do you want to go to Stargate? I hear he has the ability to see into the future!
Mario: Sure!
AT STAR HILL...
Stargate: Hello, o so famed Mario Brothers!
Mario: Stargate, can you tell us our next destenation?
Stargate: A door. That is all. Any more questions?
Mario: Yes, do I look skinnier since the last time we met?
Stargate: No. I thought I told you to stop eating so much linguini. I will make you skinnier if you get me the Aurora Block.
Luigi: No! Last time you made us get that, it made me cry like a baby!
???: BWAHAHA!!!
Luigi: Run!!!
Mario: Okeydokey! (Now, where have I seen this before?)
Bowser: You ain't goin' nowhere! Right Morton?
Morton: ...antecedence, noun, priority in time or in a sequence of cause and effect; antecedent, adjective, going before, preceding...
Bowser: Sheesh! What's his problem?
WHACK!
Mario punches Bowser, then runs away. Mario trips over a timehole, and falls in.
Luigi: Mario!
Luigi jumps in.
Chapter 4: The Shadowy Figures
Mario lands in a warp pipe, not having enough time to read the encryption, and Luigi follows suit (he did the same).
Luigi started charging up a fireball.
Right when he gets out, he shoots the fireball, only to see what, or who, he had shot at had absorb the flames.
Mario: Vivian?!
He realizes he is back in Rougeport.
Mario: What are you doin-
Vivian: ShhhhSHHHH! They might hear us!
Mario: Who?
Vivian: Didn't I tell you to sh- never mind. Hurry! They're coming! Mario, HI-
???: GUH! GUH!
???2: He ain't goin' nowheres!
Vivian: -de... AAAAAHHH! Marilyn! Beldam! I-
Beldam looks infuriated.
Beldam: Wait until she finds out.
Vivian: No! Here, h-have M-mario...
Beldam and Vivian grab Mario by the arms.
Mario: Vivian! How could you?!
Vivian: I'm sorry: I-
Marilyn: Guh! GUGUH! (Be quiet!)
Vivian: Who asked you?!
???: ALL OF YOU: BE QUIET. YOU SHALL NEVER KNOW THE TRUTH, MARIO BROTHERS. NOW MARIO, I SEEK REVENGE, AND I NEED IT.
Beldam: I told you, you had to be quiet, Vivian.
Marilyn: Guh! (Speak for yourself!)
Vivian: I DO NOT!!!
Beldam and Marylin: ...
Vivian: Uhhhh...
Marilyn: GUH! GUHGUH AGUH! (WAIT! DON'T SAY A WORD!)
Luigi punches Marylin on the cheek.
Marilyn: GUUUUUHUUUUHUUUUUUUHH! (IIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNDDDDDDDD!)
Marylin hits the ground, unconcious.
???: THAT IS IT. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. NOW HAND IT OVER.
Luigi: Hand what over?
???: DON'T PLAY DUMB. I KNOW YOU HAVE IT. GIVE ME THE COLBALT STAR!!!
Mario and Luigi: THE COLBALT STAR?! That was destroyed months ago!
Mario: It turned into Elder Princess Shroob!
Luigi: Who are you anyway?
???: I am... THE SHADOW QUEEN!
Mario: AUGH!
S. Queen (Shadow Queen): I know the Colbalt Star still exists... King Boo said so!
Luigi: WAAAGGHH!
Mario: Luigi?
S. Queen: If only you hadn't defeated Queen Bean and got that Belly Belch Worm out of her then I would have stolen the Beanstar instead of that annoying Cackletta...
Luigi: How do you know Cackletta?
Suddenly, a shadowy figure jumps out at Luigi. Luigi then plunges to the ground.
Mario: Luigi!!!