Future Fix

By Mario Koopa

Lemmy and Iggy are frantically talking about what their tower might be like.

Lemmy: Maybeitwillhavelotsofballs-

Iggy: Andmaybethefuturemehascontacts!

Lemmy: Yeah! Andmaybethefuturemehashisowncircus! I’vealwayswantedtobeinthecircus!

Wendy: QQUUUEEEEIIIIITTTTTT!!!

Roy: Hey, what’s that big tent up ahead of us?

Everybody: Huh?

Everybody looks ahead and sees a giant, red tent.

Lemmy and Iggy: IT’S A CIRCUS TENT! :D

Lemmy and Iggy grab everybody and run full speed to the circus tent. They go to the front to talk to the man at the ticket counter.

Ticket Bob-omb: Welcome to the Koopaling Brothers Lemmy and Iggy Circus. I assume you have tickets?

Lemmy: Uh…

Iggy: No.

Ticket Bob-omb: Then you may not enter.

Lemmy and Iggy:  :_(

Roy: (Gee, I hate being all nice and stuff, but…) What’s yer name?

Ticket Bob-omb: Robert.

Bowser Jr: Cool! Another guy from “Stupid Mario RPG”!

Roy: Listen here, Rob. These two bozos are my brothers. And they wanna see the show. So if you don’t give ‘em tickets then we’re going to have SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS!!!

Robert: Don’t… ever… call me… RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBB!!!

Robert blows up. The ticket counter flies into Roy’s face.

Roy: Ow.

Lemmy: Way to go-

Iggy: Roy!

Everybody rushes inside.

They sit down in some seats in the audience and excitedly wait for the show to begin.

Lemmy: Wow! This is cool!

Wendy: I hope I look beautiful enough to*show my face in public.

Larry: I gotta go to the bathroom!

Koopa: Hey! Gum on the floor!

Goomba: It’s-a me! Goomba!

Adult Iggy comes out to the center stage with a microphone.

Adult Iggy: Ladies and un-gentlemen! Welcome… tohe Koopaling Brothers Lemmy and Iggy Circus! Are you happy to be here?

Audience: YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Iggy. Yeah! Woohoo! Go adult me!

Adult Iggy: Then put you hands together-

The Koopalings put their hands together.

Adult Iggy: -for my brother, the incredible, stupendously talented, amazingly cool Lemmy Incredibly Small Koopa!

The Koopalings go wild and the audience cheers.

Lemmy: YEEAAAHHHH!!!

Adult Lemmy comes out riding his ball. He rides around in circles around the center stage and uses his wand to make 3 balls appear in the air. The balls fall and Adult Lemmy catches them. Adult Lemmy rides on his ball while juggling the other balls. Then he flips over and rides his ball on his hands.

Lemmy: Yeah! Go! Go! GGOOO!!!

Then Adult Lemmy juggles the balls with his feet. He jumps off of his ball and the balls go flying in the air. He blasts the balls with his wand and turns them into spiked balls. The spiked balls become as big as boulders and begin rolling around Adult Lemmy and closing in on him. Adult Lemmy jumps off of his ball and rides on a spiked ball, without touching the spikes, of course. The audience cheers and Adult Lemmy does a flip off of the spiked ball. All the balls disappear in clouds of dust.

Lemmy and Iggy: YEAH! GO! WHOOO! YEEAAAHHHH!!! AWESOME!!!

Adult Iggy: And now, for this next act, I will need 2 audience members!

Lemmy and Iggy get grins from ear to ear on their faces. They look at each other and raise their hands and start hollering.

Iggy: HEY!!! OVER HERE! HEY! *whistle* YOO HOO! HEY!

Lemmy: PICK US! WE WANNA GO! HEY! PICK US!

Adult Iggy sees Lemmy and Iggy amongst the rest of the audience (who are also raising their hands and screaming) and picks them.

Adult Iggy: I pick the Koopa with the crazy ‘do and the Koopa with the cool glasses!

Lemmy and Iggy: WHHOOO!!!

Lemmy and Iggy rush down to Adult Iggy.

Adult Iggy: (Let’s see what you got.) Ok now. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! PLEASE WELCOME OUR NEW REZNOR TAMERS!

Lemmy: Yeah yeah! Woohoo! Yeah! Welcome our new- Hey wait, did you say-

Iggy: REZNOR TAMERS?

Adult Iggy: That’s right.

Adult Iggy tosses Lemmy and Iggy into a cage with a giant Reznor inside.

Reznor: *SNORT* *GRUNT* RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Lemmy and Iggy: AAAAHHHHH!!!

Lemmy and Iggy run. Lemmy turns around and shoots a slush ball at the Reznor. The Reznor spits a fireball at the slush ball. The slush ball turns into water upon impact.

Iggy: Uh oh! Lemmy! Time to make you a little taller!

Iggy takes a bazooka-looking gun out of his shell. He shoots a beam at Lemmy. Lemmy becomes twice his size (about the size of Bowser).

Lemmy: (in a deeper voice) Thanks, Bro!

Lemmy charges at the Reznor. The Reznor charges at Lemmy. Lemmy and the Reznor butt heads and begin pushing at one another.

Wendy: We oughta help them!

The Koopalings go to the sidelines.

Ludwig: Junior! Paint a BIG Reznor! Big enough to bust that cage open and save Lemmy and Iggy!

Bowser Junior paints a big Reznor on the ground. A team of 20 Koopas walk over to the Koopalings.

Koopa #1: You’re not allowed at the sidelines!

Larry: OH NO! Koopa security!

The Koopas grab the Koopalings and take them backstage. Junior’s Reznor arises from the ground. It runs over to the cage and busts it open.

Adult Iggy: WHAT THE-

Junior’s Reznor rams into the other Reznor and the other Reznor goes flying out of the cage and makes a hole at the top of the tent.

Audience: YYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Adult Iggy: Uh… um… Thank you! Uh… We’re going to take a short intermission!

The crowd goes outside of the tent for refreshments and souvenirs. Iggy changes Lemmy back to his original size. Adult Iggy walks over to both of them and grabs them.

Iggy: HEY! What’s-

Lemmy: Going on?

Adult Iggy: You guys are assassins! You’ve assassinated me and Lemmy’s siblings! But we’re one step ahead of you!

Lemmy: Let us-

Iggy: GO! You don’t know-

Lemmy: What you’re doing!

Adult Iggy drags Lemmy and Iggy backstage.

Adult Iggy walks into the room. Lemmy and Iggy’s siblings are in individual cages. Adult Lemmy’s standing by Morton’s cage. The Koopa security team’s guarding the cages.

Adult Iggy: These two are tougher than we thought.

Adult Lemmy: So are the rest of ‘em.

Adult Iggy locks Lemmy and Iggy in two cages. A security Koopa comes in dragging a Bombshell Bill.

Koopa: Just caught this guy entering without a ticket.

Bombshell Bill: Let… me… GO! I’ll crush you if you don’t… let… me… GO!

Koopa: Whadaya gonna do?

Bombshell Bill: SUN FLARE!

A bunch of beams of light surround the Bombshell Bill. The Bombshell Bill directs the beams at the Koopa.

Koopa: YOOWWW!!!

The Koopa falls to the ground covered in soot.

Adult Lemmy: I’ll handle this guy.

Adult Lemmy takes his Freeze Gun out of his shell. He sprays an icy mist on the Bombshell Bill.

Bombshell Bill: C-c-cold…

Adult Iggy grabs the Bombshell Bill and throws it in a cage.

Announcer: WELCOME AGAIN, TO KOOPALING BROTHERS LEMMY AND IGGY CIRCUUUUUUS!!!

Audience: YAAYYY!!!

Adult Iggy: The audience is back!

Adult Lemmy: Showtime.

The two brothers go to the center ring.

Lemmy: Well, I don’t think that my Freeze Gun can help us out here.

Iggy: Nor my giant ray.

Morton: They took, confiscated, stole our weapons, items, objects of assistance.

Bowser Jr: Even my paintbrush!

Bombshell Bill: W-w-well… i-if any o-of y-you guys c-can heat me up then I c-c-c-c-c-can bust us out of h-h-h-here.

Lemmy breathes in. He then breathes fire breath on the Bombshell Bill.

Koopa #2: HEY! The prisoners are escaping!

Bombshell Bill: Sun… FLLAAARRRREEEEE!!!

The Bombshell Bill shoots beams of light at the Koopas. The Koopas are KO’d.

Bombshell Bill: One more time. Sun Flare!

The Bombshell Bill shoots beams at the bars of the cage, and the bars break. The Bombshell Bill gets out of the cage.

Wendy: Wow. Who are you?

Bullet: Crash17.

Roy: Hey Crash, think you can bust us outta here?

Crash17: Sure.

Crash17 uses Sun Flare on the rest of the cages. The Koopalings escape and grab their weapons.

The Koopalings head over to the center ring. The spotlight shines on them. Crash17 goes over to them.

Lemmy: Where’s our-

Iggy: Future selves?

The crowd cheers for the Koopalings.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the show’s over! Lemmy and Iggy have gone back stage! Thank you for coming, and good
bye!

Lemmy: Back-

Iggy: Stage?

Koopalings: *gulp*

Backstage…

Adult Lemmy: WHERE’S THE PRISONERS?!

A security Koopa gets up.

Koopa: It’s that bullet, sir.

Adult Iggy: WHAT?!

The Koopalings barge in.

Lemmy: FREEZE!

Adult Lemmy: Certainly!

Adult Lemmy freezes the Koopalings with his Freeze Gun. Crash17 comes in. Adult Lemmy and Adult Iggy open up a trap door and jump in. They fly out of the tent in a hot air balloon.

Crash17: My friends! Sun Flare!

Crash17 shoots beams at the Koopalings. The Koopalings become unfrozen.

Larry: Thanks.

Ludwig: Adult Lemmy and Iggy got away!

Crash17: I’ll handle them.

In the hot air balloon…

Adult Lemmy: D’OOHHH!!! I can’t believe those assassins tricked us!

Adult Iggy: The battle is done, but the war shall continue.

Adult Lemmy: That’s it. We’re not selling fortune cookies at the circus anymore.

A gigantic beam shoots from the top of the circus tent and blows a hole in the hot air balloon.

Adult Lemmy: I knew we should’ve made this thing beam-proof.

The hot air balloon falls through the roof of Adult Lemmy and Adult Iggy’s tower. THUD!!! CRASH!!! BANGG!!! BOOMMM!!! POOW!!!

Roy: How do we catch ‘em?

Lemmy and Iggy jump into the trap door Adult Lemmy and Adult Iggy opened.

Lemmy: HEY! There’s a spare balloon down here!

Ludwig: GREAT!

The Koopalings jump in the trap door. They fly out on the hot air balloon.

Crash17: Good luck, guys!

Ludwig: You’re not coming?

Crash17: I’m headin’ home. See ya!

Crash17 leaves.

Larry: Bye!

The hot air balloon flies over to the Twin Tower.

Ludwig: PREPARE FOR DESCENT!!!

Roy: Wait. Instead of just landing here, why don’t we go straight to your castle?

???: LOOK! The assassins!

The Koopalings see some military Koopas in jets. The Koopas shoot a missile at the Koopalings’ hot air balloon, which, of course, puts a hole in it.

Ludwig: That’s why.

Koopalings: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The Koopalings fall through the roof of the Twin Tower. The Koopalings jump out of the hot air balloon before it lands. The hot air balloon goes through the floor, creating a hole. The Koopalings land on the floor. BONK!!!

Roy: Oohh…

Roy tries to get up, but he slips and falls back down.

Ludwig: The floor is made of ice!

Lemmy: ‘_ ‘ Of course.

Lemmy gets up and helps his siblings up. They all look around. No Adult Lemmy or Adult Iggy.

Wendy: Well, I guess we can move on to the next-

Adult Lemmy and Adult Iggy come crashing up through the floor.

Wendy: Castle.

Adult Lemmy: You know, we were annoyed before. But you guys have reeeeeeeeeally ticked us off now.

Adult Iggy: Time for you to get the punishment you deserve, tenfold!

Adult Iggy takes his giant ray out of his shell. He shoots a blast at Adult Lemmy. Electric jolts surge through Adult Lemmy’s veins. His eyes glow bright blue.

Adult Lemmy: RRRRRRAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRR!!!

Adult Lemmy grows thrice his size. He stomps over to the Koopalings. He shoots a gigantic fireball from his mouth toward the Koopalings. The Koopalings pull ice skates out of their shells and quickly put their feet in them. They escape from the fireball just as it’s closing in on them. The fireball blows up upon impact with the ice. All that’s left is a hole in the floor. The Koopalings skate toward Adult Lemmy. Adult Lemmy shoots more fireballs at them. Adult Iggy shoots them with his giant ray while they’re in midair. The Koopalings dodge.

Ludwig: We’re getting closer! Prepare to strike!

Adult Lemmy pulls his Freeze Gun (thrice its size) out of his shell.

Note: As you may have guessed, because Adult Lemmy’s gun is thrice its size, that means thrice its power. BACK TO ADVENTURE!

Mario Koopa: Stuffwell! Don’t type for me!

Stuffwell: Sorry.

Anyway, Adult Lemmy shoots an ice ray at Morton. Morton is frozen in a block of unbreakable ice.

Bowser Jr: OH NO! Morton!

Bowser Jr. looks back at Morton. He slips and falls. Adult Lemmy shoots him.

Wendy: Junior!

The Koopalings are 10 feet away from Adult Lemmy. With each step they gain speed. They begin closing in on Adult Lemmy. As they pass him by Wendy pulls out her water gun, Ludwig pulls out a ray gun, and Lemmy pulls out his Freeze Gun. They shoot a blast of water, uh… ray, and ice at Adult Lemmy.

Adult Lemmy: Is that all you can do?

They go past Adult Lemmy and straight ahead is Adult Iggy. Adult Iggy punches Roy down.

Iggy: (I guess I just got my revenge on Roy. I just wish it was ME me, not adult me.)

Roy lands with a THUD! Adult Lemmy shoots an ice ray at Roy. Roy is frozen like Bowser Jr. and Morton.

Lemmy: >_> How many siblings are left?

Iggy: (holding clipboard) Uh… *looks at clipboard* Excluding us, three.

Wendy trips and is frozen by Adult Lemmy. Iggy scratches Wendy’s name off his clipboard.

Iggy: Nix that. Two.

Lemmy: D’oh!

A blast from Adult Lemmy’s freeze Gun barely misses Lemmy. Lemmy jumps in shock. He and Iggy skate away and over to Ludwig and Larry.

Larry: What do we do now?

A fireball explodes from behind them. They skate around all the holes that were made by other fireballs.

Ludwig: Well, if we beat Adult Iggy, then those fireballs won’t get any bigger.

The Koopalings turn around and skate over to Adult Iggy. Lemmy pulls out his Freeze Gun to freeze Adult Iggy, but Adult Iggy shoots himself with his giant ray and becomes as big as Adult Lemmy.

Ludwig: Plan B! SKKAAATTTTEEEEE!!!

The Koopalings turn around and skate away. Adult Iggy chases them. The Koopalings skate in between Adult Lemmy’s legs. Adult Lemmy turns around and freezes Ludwig and Larry.

Lemmy: OH-

Iggy: NO! Well *gulp*, it’s all up to-

Lemmy: Us, Bro.

Lemmy and Iggy skate around the holes in the floor.

Lemmy: I got an idea!

Lemmy creates an ice ramp with his Freeze Gun. He turns around and pulls some skis and pole out of his shell. He jumps out of his skates and onto the skis.

Lemmy: Time for some really-

Iggy: Intense skiing!

Lemmy skis over the ramp. He goes so high in the air that he lands on his future self’s head.

Adult Lemmy: HEY! GET OFF O’ ME!

Lemmy skates down his future self’s shell while dodging his future self’s giant hands. Lemmy stops on a spike on the shell.

Lemmy: I hope this works.

Lemmy gets his poles ready and begins pushing them against the shell.

Lemmy: Can’t… break! X#

Iggy soars through the air on skis and lands on the spike Lemmy’s on. Iggy pushes with Lemmy. CRACK!

Lemmy: We’re penetrating his shell!

Adult Lemmy: GET THEM OFF MY BACK!

Adult Iggy goes over to Adult Lemmy. He begins reaching toward Lemmy and Iggy.

Iggy: AHH!

Lemmy: Push harder! Hurry!

Lemmy and Iggy manage to push the poles into Adult Lemmy’s shell.

Adult Lemmy:  :_x  YYOOOWWWW!!!!

Adult Lemmy throws a fit. This results in a hole crumbling underneath Adult Lemmy. Iggy jumps off of Adult Lemmy’s shell in time but Lemmy falls with Adult Lemmy.

Iggy: LEEMMMYYYY!!!

Lemmy: IGGY! IT’S UP TO YOU!!!

Tears begin to appear in Iggy’s eyes.

Lemmy: Forget about me! Save our siblings! SAVE YOURSEEEElf...

A tear falls down Iggy’s face. The rushing air going over Lemmy lifts him 6 feet above his future self. The last thing Iggy hears of his brother is THUD!!!

Adult Iggy and Iggy: NOO!!! LEEMMMYYYY!!!

Iggy’s heart aches in sadness. He turns around to face his future self.

Iggy: I’LL AVENGE MY BROTHER!

Iggy skis to his future self. Adult Iggy spits fireballs at Iggy. Iggy dodges. He uses his giant ray to build up a glacier of ice into a ramp. He slides over the ramp and manages to land on his future self’s head. His future self shoots himself with his giant ray. He grows twice his size. Iggy loses his balance and falls over. He slides down his future self’s shell and stops on a spike.

Iggy: THIS IS FOR LEMMY!!!

Iggy’s strength grows with his anger. He jabs his ski poles through his future self’s shell.

Adult Iggy:  :x  OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Adult Iggy throws a fit and falls through the floor. Iggy jumps off in time. He looks back as his future self falls. He sees something jump onto his future self’s back and jump off.

???: YEH HAH!

The thing lands on the ice floor. Iggy’s eyes come into focus and he sees that the thing is… LEMMY!

Iggy: How’d you survive?  :D

Lemmy: Well… Gere’s what happened.

Flashback:

Lemmy falls with Adult Lemmy. The rushing air going over Lemmy lifts him 6 feet above his future self.

Lemmy: (Oh man. I never thought it would end like this, me falling as I hang above a monstrous version of my future self.)

Lemmy watches his whole life flash before his eyes. Thankfully his life is short considering his age, so it goes by quick enough for him to see a memory of him falling off of a staircase and landing on his shell.

Lemmy: OF COURSE! My shell is so hard that all I have to do to survive this is…

Lemmy rolls over on his back in midair. His future self lands on the second floor of the tower. THUD! Lemmy lands on his future self’s back. THUD! The floor collapses due to the tremendous weight. CRASSH! Adult Lemmy lands on the first floor of the castle. THUD! Lemmy lands on his future self. THUD!

Lemmy: YES!

Lemmy hears Adult Iggy falling. He looks above him to see Adult Iggy about to crush him upon impact.

Lemmy:  D8  AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Lemmy gets up and makes a miraculous leap on top of Adult Iggy. He makes another one and lands on the ice floor.

End Flashback.

Iggy: Ooh… Neat.

Lemmy: Yeah.

Lemmy and Iggy look at their frozen siblings.

Lemmy: There’s… nothing we can do. That’s unbreakable ice.

???: Unbreakable. But not unmeltable.

Crash17 busts through the wall and uses Sun Flare on the frozen Koopalings. The Koopalings are unfrozen.

Roy: W-w-why’d you come here?

Crash17: I heard a big BOOM.

Ludwig: Well, thanks for unfreezing us!

Crash17: Well, I’m off to go watch All My Shrooms.

Paperlemmy: HEY! That’s something that’s only allowed to be used in OUR Scribble!

Mario Koopa: You’re not even supposed to be here! And have you finished Fat Peach yet?

Paperlemmy: Oh yeah.

Paperlemmy runs off.

The Koopalings drop through the hole in the floor. They land on their shells on Adult Iggy. They get up and head out the door and off to Roy’s Castle.

Larry: Well?

Roy: Well what?

Larry: At the end of every part of this story you’ve made some rude comment about the Koopa who owns the next castle.

Roy: Look up at what it says.

Larry reads, “They get up and head out the door and off to Roy’s Castle.”

Roy: I’ll say this though, we’ll have trouble beating this guy!

Larry:  ‘_ ‘  Oh brother.

Read on!


 
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