Blooey: The Legendary Blooper

By Paperlemmy

Prologue: A Squid is Born

Out in the middle of the Cheep Cheep Sea, a Nanny Blooper was tending to a small group of Blooper Babies. She swam along, each of the cute little Bloopers following her. Then, right on top of the water, a strangely cloaked figure appeared. His face could not be seen, but he wore a large, crooked, yellow hat, blue robes and a cape, and striped brown pants, and held a hooked magic staff firmly in his hand. He looked down into the water, and saw the Nanny Blooper swimming along with the little Blooper Babies swimming behind her. He noticed the last one in line, and stared at it for a long time.

Then he raised his staff, pointed it at his head, and closed his eyes.

“Let's see if I can do this correctly,” he said to himself.

He mumbled something and poked his head once. A giant bubble popped around his head. He opened his eyes.

“Excellent,” he said, examining the bubble from within. “My head didn’t pop this time.”

He slowly lowered himself into the water, and hid behind some coral nearby where the Nanny Blooper and the Blooper Babies were. The Nanny Blooper spoke to them in Blooper language, and proceeded to return to their home. Each of the Bloopers followed, with the same Blooper Baby from before lagging behind. This Blooper Baby passed by here the stranger was hiding. He revealed himself as soon as the Blooper Baby passed, and grabbed him.

“Got ya!” he shouted as he grasped the Blooper Baby in his hand.

The Blooper Baby wiggled and struggled to break free, but he was too small and weak. He began to make small Blooper cries.

“Hey, hey, now, it’s okay,” said the stranger, in a calmer, gentler voice. “I’m not going to hurt you. In fact, I’m going to make your life a bit more meaning.”

The Blooper Baby stopped squirming at the sound of his calm, gentle voice.

“There we go. Now, this will only take one second, and it won’t hurt a bit!”

The stranger raised his staff and pointed it at the Blooper Baby. The Blooper Baby was frightened again, and tried to free itself once more. The tip of the staff zapped the Blooper Baby, but it did not him, just like the stranger said. This didn’t calm the Blooper Baby, though, and he began to make louder cries.

“Shh, shh, shh, quiet now, it’s okay, you’re not hurt. There, there…”

The stranger patted the Blooper Baby gently in attempt to calm it down. It stopped its cries, but it didn’t stop wiggling.

“Now listen closely, little Blooper, to what I have to say,” began the stranger, keeping his voice down as he said this.

He moved the Blooper Baby closer to him, and the Blooper Baby slowly stopped, and was not looking directing at the stranger. Even from this distance, the Blooper Baby could not see the stranger’s hidden face.

“Young Blooper, what I have just given you is a special power, from the wise and beautiful ocean sage, Ozean. As you grow older, you will experience this power, and it will help grow you into a fantastic hero. I cannot explain everything now, as you are too young, but when we meet again – That’s right, we ARE going to meet again – you will realize what this power if truly for.”

The Blooper Baby looked confused. The person then let it go, but it continued to look at the stranger with the same confused look.

“Go on now, little one,” the stranger said, waving his hand. “Your family is waiting for you.”

The Blooper Baby looked at him for a little while longer, then turned around and began to swim off. It looked back once more, and then sped off towards him.

“… Yes. I’m sure it’s him,” said the stranger, once he was alone, still in the sea with the bubble on his head. “Blooey: The Legendary Blooper. He is the-“

Suddenly, a Big Bertha swam along and swallowed the stranger whole.

“… Great,” groaned the stranger from within the Big Bertha. “… Oh well, I’m in the mood for fishsticks, anyway.”

Read on!

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