Chapter 7: Space Junk Galaxy
Last time, Purple and Co. faced the wrath of Dark Red, as he defeated the Ancient Minister’s remaining minions. Mr. L returned to his Luigi persona, and now they’re ready to return to Subspace to undo everything.
Purple, Yux, P.T., Fin, and Luigi enter the modified time machine. Purple presses a button, and the machine travels to Subspace. There, they get out and he presses another button. Suddenly, the machine explodes, and all of Subspace is sucked into the small void it leaves behind, as are the characters. All of the Subspace Army’s attacks are undone. Shade comes back to life.
Shade: Ugh, what happened?
P.T.: Weeeeellll… Wetriedreturnyoutonormalbuteverythingwedidfailedthenwemetthiswierddarkmonsterwhowasaspersistantas
Mr.LandPeteyPiranhasowekeptfollowingthemaroundandtryingtofindtheHalberdtostopthembydestroyingtheirSubspaceBombsand
wealsometthisBanditnamedFinthenwefinallyallhadashowdownatThwompVolcanoandtheAncientMinisterdiedandwemetthisinsane
FireBroandYux’sRandomizerturnedMr.LbackintoLuigiandalloftheSubspaceArmyisdestroyedsoallwehadtodowasdestroySubspace
soyou’dgobacktonormalthenwedidthatandyoureturnedtolifeandaskedwhathappenedsoItoldyouthatwetriedtoturnyoutonormalbut
everythingwedidfailed-
Everyone Else: WE GET IT!
Suddenly, there’s a loud noise. The heroes and Gadd go outside to find a lot of airships are invading and attempting to steal Toad Town like how Bowser took Peach’s Castle in Super Mario Galaxy.
Purple: What?!
Luigi: Yeah, this has been fun, but I’m leaving now.
Luigi leaves.
Fin: Dang it, we need an official character on our team!
Yux: I’m sure someone will show up.
Fin: Shut up, Yux.
Yux: Why do I even bother?
Purple: What’s going on?
Gadd: Someone’s taking the whole town away!
P.T.: Crud, I live there!
Yux: Then move!
P.T.: I would, but my stuff’s still there, smart one! Now who’s gonna feed Spooky? And why hasn’t anyone acknowledged that I own him since that mention in Lemmy’s Mansion 2?
Fin: Because.
Shade: What do we do now?
Gadd: Follow it, of course!
Yux: Why should we?
Gadd: Because you’ll get a reward! Plus, you wanted an adventure, right?
Yux: No, I just needed something to do to get away from Shady. And I’m regretting that.
P.T.: I was bored.
Fin: They forced me to come.
Purple: And now that we’ve beaten the Subspace Army, I think that’s enough.
Gadd: But the reward!
Yux: Let’s do it!
Fin: Shut up, Yux.
Shade: Let’s do this!
Fin: How?
P.T.: We can follow it with a spaceship! There’s a rocket in the Space Junk Galaxy we can use!
Yux: Now how do we get to that Galaxy?
P.T.: … Oh.
Suddenly, the group is warped to Flipside.
Shade: Where are we?
Fin: Didn’t you hear the narrator?
Merlon: Hi! I’m Merlon!
Tippi: And I’m Tippi!
Yux: We don’t want to hear your life story, people!
Merlon: We’re going to warp you to that galaxy so you can find that ship.
Purple: Then why are we here?
Merlon: So if you suddenly warp there, the readers will know how.
Purple: Why not just warp us to wherever Toad Town is itself?
Merlon: Because then there can be another chapter. WARPITY!
They’re warped to the Space Junk Galaxy. Only something’s wrong… They’ve been separated!
(Cue LOZ: Phantom Hourglass musical notes that play in the scene right before the very final boss.)
In the Space Junk Galaxy, Yux wakes up to the sound of someone saying his name over and over.
P.T.: Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux? Yux-
Yux: SHUT UP! Are we there?
P.T.: Yeah, we’re on a Yoshi head.
Yux: WHAT?!
P.T.: Merlon warped us to the Yoshi Head Planet!
Yux: Oh. Okay then, where are the others?
P.T.: I don’t know.
Yux: Okay, you look that way, and I’ll look the other way.
They both turn and stand/float in place staring off in their respective directions. A few minutes pass.
Yux: Maybe we should explore the planet a little more.
P.T.: Shut up, Yux.
They search around. After a while…
Yux: I couldn’t find- Where did you find those giant sunglasses you’re dragging?
P.T.: The Yoshi was wearing them.
Yux: …
P.T.: Shut up, Yux.
Yux: …
Meanwhile, Fin wakes up on the deck of an airship.
Shroob: &^$*#@)*$&@)*(%and@#and%*()@#&%)*#@&
(We appear to have found
a person.)
Other Shroob: &^*^&Y%^$$&^(&&&*)^&)^&^%$$D@!
(We must take him prisoner.)
Fin: I think I’m going to like it here!
Meanwhile…
Purple: Where are we?
Shade: Some sort of rocket.
Purple: … Sweet! How do we make it work?
Shade: Oh yeah, like I know everything about rockets.
Luigi: I do!
Purple: Luigi, you’re back!
Luigi: That’s Mama Luigi to you!
Purple: … I’m going to try this again. Luigi, you’re back!
Luigi: Yeah, I forgot my wallet and got warped away when I was picking it up. But no one noticed me.
Shade: At least now this story has an official character as one of the leads. Now you say you know rockets?
Luigi: Yep!
Meanwhile…
P.T.: How do we leave the planet?
Yux: I don’t know.
P.T.: Why?
Yux: Because I’m not DAD.
P.T.: Why?
Yux: Because someone made me in a lab, dunce.
P.T.: Why?
Yux: Because they were bored.
P.T.: Why?
Yux: Because nothing was on TV.
P.T.: Why?
Yux: I don’t know!
P.T.: Why?
Yux: Because I’m not DAD.
P.T.: Why?
Yux: Because someone made me in a lab, super dunce.
P.T.: Why?
Yux: Because they were- Can we just look for a way off?
P.T.: Hey a button!
He presses it and the Yoshi opens its mouth and a tongue reaches out to a glass planetoid.
Yoshi Head: (in loud, deep, slow voice) YOSHI.
Yux: Weird, but okay. Wait, I could just have floated away and left you here! D’oh!
Meanwhile, Fin is in a cell below deck.
Fin: What are you in for?
Rex: I killed a man… WITH THIS THUMB!
Fin: (yanking the bars) LETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUTLETMEOUT-
Meanwhile, the rocket is ready to go. It’s flying through the galaxy. But it hits a giant planet. It breaks and reveals a giant spider.
Tarantox: DIE!!!
The rocket flies through the web, and Tarantox uses his tiny wings to follow.
Shade: OH DAD!
Luigi: We can use a hyperspace leap! Here.
Luigi presses a button, and they go through hyperspace, so a weird thing starts happening like on Dr. Who’s opening. They reappear right behind Tarantox.
Purple: … We went so fast that we went all the way around the universe?!
Tarantox turns around.
Shade: … Why us?
Meanwhile, Yux and P.T. are going along the Pull Stars.
P.T.: How are you able to use these?
Yux: How are you not out of questions by now?
P.T.: Magic.
Yux: What? That doesn’t make sense!
P.T.: Neither does your face, ha!
Yux: Stop making fun of me!
P.T.: Over-sensitive Cyclops.
Meanwhile, the rocket is stuck in a new web.
Luigi: Guys, I’m scared of spiders.
Shade: I thought it was ghosts.
Luigi: Those too.
Purple: Just don’t scream like a little girl.
Luigi: … Now I have to!
He screams like a little girl. Meanwhile…
Yux: Can you hear something?
P.T.: Shut up, Yux.
Back with the members of the group that aren’t doomed to a nutty life…
Tarantox: DIE!
Tarantox shoot a giant (bendy) straw out of his mouth and attempts to suck the vim out of the ship. However it doesn’t have any.
Tarantox: What kind of snack is this?!
Purple: It’s a rocket.
Tarantox: Did you say Hot Pocket?
Chinese Guy: You no hungry for spaceship! You hungry for Hot Po-
Tarantox eats the Chinese guy and the heroes use an escape pod to leave. Tarantox spits out the guy’s liver.
Tarantox: Ahh, good old Fortune People. Let’s see… “While you eat my host, your previous food will escape.” … I hate myself now.
Meanwhile…
Shade: It’s amazing how we can still go on with a hole in our ship.
Meanwhile, Yux and P.T. find themselves on the planet where Tarantox used to be before the rocket flew through.
P.T.: Something happened here.
Yux: But what?
P.T.: I’m guessing that a hyperspace leap was performed on or around this planet. I can sense the presence of Hyperspace Cooties.
Yux: At least you haven’t asked another question.
P.T.: Where do babies come from?
Yux: Of course.
Meanwhile…
Purple: So we should probably look for Yux, P.T., and Fin.
Shade: We could go check in the Space Junkyard.
Meanwhile…
P.T.: I already knew that!
Yux: Then why’d you ask?
P.T.: Shut up, Yux! Go sing or something while I investigate!
Yux: Finally!
Meanwhile…
The rocket lands at the starting platform at the Space Junkyard.
Purple: Here we are! And out of fuel…
Tarantox appears.
Tarantox: REVENGE!
Shade: Crud.
They run around as a path builds in front of them, but Tarantox has the advantage as he can fly. He shoots a web at Luigi and ties him up. He also shoots one at Purple and Shade, tying the two of them together.
Luigi: Oh no! We’re doomed!
Purple: Can’t you jump very well?
Luigi: Oh yeah.
Luigi stands up and charges up for a Super Jump. He rockets to the sky and plummets down, crashing Tarantox into the unknown… until platforms form under Tarantox. But he squeezes him so hard against the ground that all his goo squeezes out, and he’s basically deflated. So much comes out that all his bulbous orbs pop with goo squirting out. After some maneuvering, Purple manages to free all three of them.
Purple: Congratulations, Luigi. You have now helped us defeat an enemy. You are now forced to be one of us.
Luigi: Crud.
Purple: Also I have an idea as to how to escape…
Soon, Tarantox’s body is full of air and is tied by the web to the rocket, forming a sort of hot air balloon that is somehow able to travel without air.
Luigi: So now we look for the others?
Purple: Yep.
Chapter 8: The Airships
Our gang saved Shade and were warped to the Space Junk Galaxy, but they were separated. Yux and P.T. tried to look for the others, as did Purple, Shade, and the just-recruited Luigi. Known results were Tarantox attacking, and girly screams. Fin was also trapped on an airship. Will the heroes find each other? Will Fin escape? Is Tarantox down for the count? Read the chapter. Now.
Yux: (beautiful singing voice) I’ve paid my dues… time after time. I’ve done my sentence but committed no crime. And bad mistakes… I’ve made a few. I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face, but-
P.T.: Yux, someone is here and is singing wonderfully! It’s very distracting!
Yux: That was me.
P.T.: Liar.
Yux: But-
P.T.: Shut up, Yux!
The Tarantox-Rocket hot air balloon floats up to P.T. and Yux.
Yux: Luigi, you’re still with us? And how do I know that you’re with Purple and Shade and Fin?
Luigi: That’s Mama-
Yux: No.
Shade: Oh, and Fin isn’t with us.
P.T.: Where is he?
Shade: We don’t know.
P.T.: Why?
Shade: B-
Yux: Don’t answer!
Purple: Look!
A bunch of airships floats towards the planet with the balloon. A red person approaches the bow of the big airship.
Red Person: *^&%$^#$%&$&*^(&^)&)^!!!
Shade: Is that a Shroob?
More airships appear and surround the heroes.
Person: ^)&^&$%(^%^*)^)^&)(^%
They start blasting away, destroying the rocket. They all wake up in a cell.
Purple: Hey… Where are we? And where’s my axe?
P.T.: Or my hammer? Or boomerang?
Luigi: Or my hammer?
Link walks by outside the cell.
Link: You’re not Tetra!
Purple: Wrong ship.
Link leaves.
Voice: These airships are being controlled by the Shroobs.
Everyone turns to find…
Everyone: You?!
Person: Yes, me…
He steps out of the shadows.
Person: A generic red Yoshi!
Yux: Why did we all act like we know him?
Luigi: Shut up, Yux.
Red Yoshi: Ever since the fall of Bowser a few weeks ago, his airships were of no use.
Flashback!
Red Yoshi (narrating): I was a simple red Yoshi on Yoshi’s Island. Well I still am a simple red Yoshi, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I was the first Yoshi to hear about Bowser’s Game Over. We were all celebrating, knowing what he did to our ancestors. Meanwhile the Shroobs came and invaded! Fortunately, I was the only one that was caught. Their ships were in serious disrepair, I overheard. I also heard they could try to take Bowser’s airships. I mean it’s not like he was gonna use them ever again. So they invaded and took the airships. Knowing people were going around and saving the day, they fell back to plan for a while. Recently they hijacked Toad Town and took it away for unknown reasons and I’m still prisoner.
Flashback over!
Shade: What’s your name?
Red Yoshi: Rufus.
Purple: Hmm… Real name, Latin word for Red, which you are… That was very clever of the author.
The camera pans over to P.T., who is looking at a mirror.
P.T.: Who is this person that looks just like me?
Back with everyone else…
Yux: … OH NO! I NEVER USED THE RANDOMIZER IN THE LAST CHAPTER! AAAAAA!!!
Yux faints. Hooray!
Rufus: … Do I want to know?
Luigi: No. I’m new, yet somehow I still know.
P.T.: Since we’ve spent so much time with you, you have a name, and you’ve asked questions about Yux, you must now join us! Bwahahaha!
Rufus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
P.T.: Luigi, you’re out! We already have too many serious characters as is.
Luigi: But I beat a monster!
P.T.: Fine; Shade, you’re out of here!
Shade: What?! I only just got revived! Where will I go?
P.T. picks Shade up and throws him into a warp pipe.
P.T.: Come back when we’re down one serious guy!
The pipe leaves.
Luigi: We could’ve escaped!
P.T.: Oops.
Purple: Nah, we still need to save Toad Town. So how do we get out?
Rufus: If there’s anything I’ve learned from playing video games, the hero’s cell always has a secret exit. So we just need to search!
40 minutes later…
Purple: I’m starting to think there’s no secret exit.
Yux: …
P.T.: Shut up, Yux.
Yux: I wasn’t even awake! Wait, now I am.
Luigi: Yux! Get to the choppa! Now!
Yux: Okay.
Dramatic music plays while Yux climbs up a ladder somehow and climbs up to a helicopter and flies away. Meanwhile in the airship…
P.T.: That was weird.
Yux: I’m back. Actually I never really went anywhere.
Luigi: Sorry, I said the wrong thing. Yux! Use the Randomizer! Now!
Yux: Okay, Randomize!
He glows and stops.
Yux: The good news is…
The bars disappear.
Yux: The bad news is…
Purple: Ow! I have splinters in my feet! You’d have them to, but you’re all wearing shoes and Yux is floating.
P.T.: Shouldn’t the bad news usually outweigh the good news?
Yux: Maybe it’s a side effect of not using the Randomizer for a whole chapter.
They go out and find another cell with Fin inside!
Fin: Guys, it’s me!
Luigi: Fin, how’d you get there?
Fin: I don’t know. OH MY DAD! YOU TURNED SHADE INTO A YOSHI!
Rufus: Let me guess, he’s one of you.
Purple: Yep. Sorry Fin, but we don’t have our weapons.
P.T. is seen banging Yux against the bars.
P.T.: Why isn’t this working?
Rufus: Better idea!
He grabs Yux, turns him sideways, slides him in, then turns him so his top two points bend the bars. Fin jumps out.
Yux: Wait, then I could’ve slipped out the whole time!
Rex: Get back in here!
Fin: Ahh! Close it!
Yux produces lots of Mini Yuxes that form together into a Mini Yux Cork that is shoved into the gap Yux made. On the way out, they also find a cell with a metal wall instead of bars. It also has lots of loud, violent noises going on inside.
Fin: What is that?
Purple: Let’s not find out.
Just so you know, this is
how the cells are lined up:
Metal Cage with violent
noises, Fin and the Rex, Purple and Co, Deflated and lifeless Tarantox
They go up the stairs and find themselves on deck.
Shroob 1: *^&&)^&$^&%(*&)*(_&*^&(
Shroob 2: %^$%#%&(^&_*_)*__&*_&
They start shooting lasers! Everyone ducks. Rufus quickly uses his tongue to grab the laser, and he brings his tongue back and shoots the other Shroob with his new laser.
Rufus: All right, nobody move! All I demand are some cookies, and all the Led Zeppelin albums onboard!
Luigi: We have to find our weapons! Wait, I don’t actually need it that much.
Beeps are heard and a small, personal aircraft appears, with the Bowser head replaced with an Elder Princess Shroob head. The red person, Commander Shroob, appears to be on it.
Commander Shroob: *^%^&*$^&%&&U)^&(%^*%?!
He whistles and Shroobs are suddenly all around on the deck shooting at the heroes. But Rufus is pretty handy with a laser gun himself.
Purple: I’m useless without my axe, so Fin! You come with me!
They go into the other doorway on deck. Meanwhile Rufus shoots at the Commander’s ship, but it’s laser proof. Then Commander shoots the laser out of Rufus’s hand. Luigi jumps over to the ship and Rufus flutters. Onboard, Rufus ground pounds him and Luigi star spins into him, knocking him overboard. That is, so they think. He apparently grabbed onto the railing and comes back and shoots at them. But then Yux is thrown like a shuriken at Commander.
Both: Ow!
Purple: I’m back!
P.T. takes Purple’s axe and throws it at Commander Shroob, but Purple is still holding it.
Fin: Now how do we get over there?
P.T.: Idea!
He grabs and throws Fin at Commander Shroob. While the Commander is busy, more Shroobs invade the deck. P.T. goes below deck and finds his weapons. After playing “Whack-A-Shroob” he watches the fight on the Commander’s ship. The Commander removes Yux from his head and Yux breathes fire on him.
Rufus: Commander, guess what?
He looks over at Rufus, and Rufus eats him. He comes back out as a red-spotted egg. Rufus then lifts the egg and throws it overboard.
Egg: (falling) ^$%&$#&%#(&^(&^)&*_(**)^^$*^$*$%-
His rant is cut short by getting hit by a meteor, taking him with it.
Yux: … Woah! I can feel something! There’s more to the bad news! The side effect must be TWO bad newses. If that’s a word. It must also have a delayed effect!
The personal ship explodes and the heroes plummet towards nothingness! They’re doomed! DOOMED! DOOMED! DOOMED! DOOMED! DOOMED-
Purple: Oh joy, the narrator recording is broken.
After a quick fix, I’m back
to normal and the heroes are DOOMED! Or not. I don’t know. It’d be pointless
to end the story as is.
Chapter 9: Back on the Surface
Our heroes were captured by the Shroobs, who have taken over Bowser’s airships. They met Rufus, the generic red Yoshi, and Shade was shoved out of the party. They also defeated Commander Shroob, and everyone but P.T. escaped. Even Fin.
In the airship, we see the metal cell. The violence is still going on in there. Suddenly something hits it on the inside and there’s a big dent. Meanwhile, Purple wakes up in a cloudy setting.
Purple: … Aw man, don’t tell me I got sent to the Overthere again!
Voice: No, you’re in Nimbus Land.
Purple: Oh.
Nimbus Person: You fell from the sky and would have fallen through the cloudy ground if you hadn’t landed in a basket someone was holding out. Actually, you’re still in it.
Purple stands up to see the basket stuck on his butt.
Purple: Of course. Have you seen a Y-shaped monster, a blue Bandit, a green Mario, or a red Yoshi?
Nimbus Person: Well we saw a Bandit, but he tried to steal from me so we threw him back down to the surface. Hey, aren’t you that guy who came here out of nowhere to help that Koopa, Magikoopa, plant, and human defeat the Smithy Gang?
Purple: Yes.
Nimbus Person: YOU TRASHED MY TOPIARY!
Purple: Crud.
One debt to Nimbilly later…
Purple: What about a red Yoshi?
Nimbilly: Look around.
Purple goes into the tavern. Meanwhile, P.T.’s thrown into the Captain’s Quarters of the main airship.
Shroob: *)@%(*&%)^&@*& (Mistress, except for the Rex, the deflated giant spider, and “you-know-who”, this is the only escaped prisoner that didn’t leave.)
P.T.: “*)@%(*&@*&” means all that?
Shroob: &*^&(% (Yes.)
P.T.: Oh. Yeah, I could’ve jumped over the edge with the others, but I was distracted.
The person the Shroob was talking to turns around in their chair to reveal Elder Princess Shroob.
P.T.: Oh DAD you’re an ugly man!
Elder Princess Shroob: I’M A WOMAN, YOU HUMAN!
P.T.: If you say so.
Meanwhile…
Bartender: What can I get you?
Purple: A red Yoshi and a green Mario.
Bartender: What kind of drinks are those? Or are you colorblind and looking for Mario and Yoshi?
Purple: No, I mean Luigi and a red Yoshi. Oh, and a letter Y with a hat and an eye patch.
Bartender: Well there’s a red Yoshi over there.
The camera pans over to Rufus at a table with Nimbus girls.
Rufus: Yeah, I don’t mean to brag, but I pretty much took on a whole alien armada and saved my fans from an airship in space.
Random Nimbus Girl: Ooh, was it hard?
Rufus: To a normal person, yes. But for me, it was nothing! On a typical day I beat five bigger monsters! Before breakfast!
Another Nimbus Girl: You’re SO cool!
Purple comes up.
Rufus: Uh, hi Purple!
Purple: Rufus, stop lying. It’s time to find Luigi and Yux.
All the girls scoff and leave.
Rufus: Ladies, come back! … See what you do?!
Purple: You mean stand idly by whilst you battle aliens?
Rufus: … Yes…
Purple: Come on, it’s time to find the others.
Meanwhile…
Elder Princess Shroob: SO YOU GET RID OF MY COMMANDER AND TRY TO ESCAPE?!
P.T.: No, because I didn’t get rid of him, the Yoshi did. And I’m the only one that didn’t escape.
Elder Princess Shroob: THROW HIM IN A CELL AND FEEL FREE TO TORTURE HIM WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT.
The Shroob drags P.T. to the cell he was in and leaves, but P.T. walks right back out since there are still no bars. Then the Shroob comes back and puts him in the cell with the Rex.
P.T.: What are you in for?
Rex: I killed a man… WITH THIS THUMB!
P.T. hits him with his hammer, kills the Mini-Yuxes making up the cork, and climbs out the hole, then leaves. The Shroob comes back and puts him in the cell with Tarantox’s deflated body. Meanwhile, Fin wakes up on the ground in Bean Valley.
Fin: Ow…
Knife Guy: Hey Grate Guy, this guy looks like good target practice!
Grate Guy: Yeah, and to make it more fun we can balance him on my ball!
Fin: I don’t know why, but you two sound like a lot of fun!
Meanwhile…
Purple: Have you seen Luigi or a Y?
Nimbus Person: Luigi?
Rufus: Hey you, have you seen a dork and a guy that no one knows?
Old Nimbus Person: Well there’s Nimnobody and Nimloser.
Rufus: Wrong answer!
Rufus throws an egg at him.
Old Nimbus Person: OW! … HOW DARE YOU?!
Old Nimbus Person hits Rufus with his cane. Soon, Purple and Rufus are walking out of the Nimbus Land Hospital.
Purple: Done assaulting the civilians?
Rufus: I don’t know. There’s a little girl with candy over there. And I’m pret-ty hungry.
Purple whacks him with the hilt of his axe.
Rufus: Ow! Hey, I think I can see Yux!
The camera pans over to Yux at the edge. He “jumps” off the cloud and floats back up.
Yux: Dang it! No matter how many times I try to commit suicide, I still can’t do it! Stupid floating ability.
Rufus: Yux, come on, time to go.
Yux: Crud! I hate you all!
Flavio: Flavio hates you all!
Yux: …
Flavio: Shut up, Yux.
Yux: …
Meanwhile, the thing inside the metal cell is acting up and it keeps ramming into the metal wall, making a bigger dent and lots of loud, violent noises.
P.T.: I’m bored.
Tarantox: …
P.T.: Ha ha, you’ve been deflated!
One of the three eyes starts focusing on P.T.
P.T.: … Oookaay… Wait! I have weapons!
P.T. hits the wall with his hammer and makes a path to his original cell, and he just walks out. On the way up the stairs, he finds a button.
P.T.: Ooh!
He presses it.
Voice: SELF-DESTRUCT IN 5, 4, 1. GOODBYE.
The ship then explodes! And it was holding Toad Town up, so then Toad Town falls and starts floating through space! Meanwhile, Purple, Rufus, and Yux are hopping from leaf to leaf on their way down.
Rufus: You’d better not get in the way of me impressing the ladies in the future!
Purple: If we weren’t on a mission, maybe.
Meanwhile, P.T. is falling through the air. Luigi wakes up on a leaf on the beanstalk.
Luigi: What happened?
P.T. then crashes right into Luigi, hitting him on the head. P.T. falls to the ground. Luigi is very dizzy and falls to the ground himself. The ground is Bean Valley. Meanwhile…
Knife Guy: Come with us or I’ll knife you!
Fin: With what?
Knife Guy: With this- Where’s my knife?
Fin is seen holding a knife.
Fin: Looking for this?
Fin quickly throws it at Grate Guy’s ball, popping it. They both run off crying.
Fin: Ha!
P.T. and Luigi then fall on Fin.
Fin: Ow…
Then a giant metal box with dents sticking out crashes on them.
Rufus: Woah, a metal box just crashed!
Purple rides Rufus as he flutters down and Yux floats down. They find a giant crater with the metal box on top of Fin, P.T., and Luigi. Surprisingly, the three of them aren’t dead. The box then starts shaking violently. After a bit, the top flies off and out comes-
Purple and Rufus: FIERY DINO PIRANHA?!
Yux: Who?
Luigi breaks free…
Luigi: Ugh… So… dizzy…
P.T.: Luigi, when’d you get here?
Yux: It’s amazing they’re not dead.
Fiery Dino Piranha spits a fireball at the beanstalk, causing the part it hit to dry and wither. Fiery Dino Piranha then slaps P.T., Luigi, and Fin away with his tail.
Yux: That reminds me, why did we meet Tippi in the Space Junk Galaxy chapter as if for the first time if she was with us in the previous chapter?
Purple: Shut up, Yux.
P.T. and Fin are sent flying into a bush. Scared by Fiery Dino Piranha, the others decide to follow and avoid the beast.
Fin: I’m gonna guess Fiery Dino Piranha was the thing locked up.
P.T.: Fin, when’d you get here?
The others come.
P.T.: Yux, when’d you get here?
Purple: Stop that.
P.T.: Purple, when’d you get here?
Fiery Dino Piranha starts rushing towards them.
P.T.: Fiery Dino Piranha, when’d you get here?
Purple: Enough!
He starts getting faster and faster! Everyone gets out of the way as Fiery Dino Piranha actually rams through a hill! Purple takes a whack at his tail. His axe is stuck in it and Fiery Dino Piranha then starts slamming the tail around until Purple is forced to let go and is sent flying! Luigi tries to Star Spin into the tail, but it’s on fire and he gets burnt. He also eats P.T. and Fin.
Fin (inside the belly): Hey! There’s treasure in here!
Yux and Rufus look to their right to see Purple far off and unconscious. They look to their left and see Luigi wrapped up in dousing himself in a pond. They look forward to see Fiery Dino Piranha encroaching.
Rufus: Yux, it’s time for the Randomator.
Yux: Randomizer.
Rufus: Shut up, Yux.
Yux: … RANDOMIZE!
He glows and stops.
Yux: The good news is…
Fiery Dino Piranha spits the two out because P.T. wanted to take a whack at the uvula, causing him to barf.
Yux: Bad news…
Fin: I have a baaad feeling…
A completely black Dry Bones shell with spikes emerges from underground and flies up, then slams down on a hill, breaking it. Out comes a maroon Dark Bones with a severely burnt helmet with horns. His eyes are glowing red, and there’s a demonic tint to his voice.
Stranger: I’m baack!
Yux, Fin, and P.T.: DARK RED!
Rufus: Whom?
Fin hits Yux.
Fin: See what you do?!
Dark Red Bones: That eruption nearly killed me, but I managed to find a way out… AND NOW IT’S TIME TO PAY!
Fiery Dino Piranha scatters his bones everywhere with a whack of his tail.
Dark Red Bones: Oh no you di-int!
He opens his mouth widely and unleashes unholy black fires upon Fiery Dino Piranha. Fiery Dino Piranha gets down and starts changing. He starts walking on his hind feet, his leaves die and start drooping, his fangs are sharper, and the nut on his tail grows spikes. And he gets dragon wings.
Dark Red Bones: Say hello to Dark Fiery Dino Piranha!
P.T.: Hi!
Everyone: …
Well it looks like with Purple out of commission, Luigi trying to cool off, and two dangerous foes before them, our remaining heroes are doomed. And what of Toad Town? We’ll have to see in the next chapters.