The Return of the Koopalings, and New Super Retarded Mario Bros. Wii

By Travix Man

The Koopalings are busy guarding Bowser’s Castle one day, when Bowser comes in with a sack filled with presents.

Bowser: I hope you all are happy with this stuff, ‘cause guess what? You’re coming back!

Koopalings: WWWWHHHHHAAAATTT?! YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!

Morton: The curse has been lifted! We are back from the dead!!! The fat lady has sung!!! The cheese has liv- Ooofff!!!

Roy has stuffed a sock in his mouth.

Roy: What presents have you got us, King Dad?

Bowser: I got you all the BEST presents! Bwahahaha…

Koopalings: YAY!!!

Lemmy: Did you get me a new ball?

Bowser: Open them up and see!

The Koopalings open the first batch of presents.

Koopalings: We got our scepters back? YAY!!!

Bowser Jr. comes in.

Bowser Jr: Hahahahah!!! What present did you get me?

Bowser: Your present is over there.

Bowser points to a corner. Bowser Jr. opens his present.

Bowser Jr: A Koopa Clown Copter? Awesome!!!

Bowser: I also got more presents. Enjoy!!!

The Koopalings open their second batch of presents and get personal things.

Ludwig: CHOCOLATE!!!

Ludwig gets insanely high from seeing the chocolate and eats it. CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP!!!

Lemmy: A new ball!!! I knew it. Ooh, and a ponytail holder! Now I can get a ponytail!

Roy: New glasses, thanks!

Iggy: A new hair designer, insanely cool!

(Note: Iggy Koopa was thin before he got the presents.)

Wendy: A new bow, awesome. And new ballet lessons, super...

Morton: A speech book, I will show it to all the boys and girls!

Larry: Cool, a tattoo!

(Note: Larry Koopa lost his baby teeth and now has 2 teeth.)

Bowser: Now children, I hope you like those presents, because here’s presents you will love!
The Koopalings open up the presents.

Koopalings: NEW SHELLS!!! WAHHHHHHH!!!

Bowser: You will get the color of shell you like, so choose... NOW!!!

Larry gets a light blue shell, Morton gets a black shell, Wendy has a new hot pink shell, Iggy gets a light green shell, Roy gets a purple shell, Lemmy gets a gold shell, and Ludwig gets a dark blue shell. Each Koopaling puts their old shells in their rooms except for Ludwig's. His has to go to the laundry room because it is so dirty from all the chocolate that’s in it.

Bowser: Now my children, go capture the princess... and bring her back!!!

Koopalings (including Bowser Jr): YAY!!!

The Koopalings and Bowser Jr. get on the family airship, the doomship, and fly off to Princess Peach's Castle.
 

World 1, The Capture of the Princess

The Mario Bros. were celebrating Princess Peach's birthday with Peach and 2 Toads. The Toads’ spots were respectively yellow and blue. When the guests were arriving, the Koopalings went up to a window. They were all in a cake.

Larry: Why are we in a cake?

Ludwig: Is there any chocolate?

Bowser Jr: Quiet!!! Its part of King Dad's incredible plan!!! And yes, Ludwig, there’s chocolate.

Morton: Is this a wedding cake? Because I absolutely LOVE wedding cakes, oh and when are we going to pop out? Are we going to do it now? Or are we going to do it lat.. OOFF!!!

Roy stuffs some frosting in his mouth.

Bowser Jr: Be quiet, guys, the party is starting!

Wendy: Why do I have to do this? I want a party!!!

Roy: Shut up!!!

Roy takes one of Wendy's rings.

Roy: I will never give it back until you stop whining.

Bowser Jr: Stop it!!! Enough!!!

Lemmy: Drama King...

Bowser Jr: What did you call me?

Lemmy: You heard me... D.R.A.M.A. K.I.N.G.

Iggy: Oooohh!!! Nice one, big bro twin!

Lemmy: We are not twins anymore. Do we even look alike?

Iggy: No... Why?

Lemmy: Then shut up about it.

Kamek flies in.

Kamek: Message from your father, young princes and princess.

Bowser Message: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, FIGHTING?! STOP AND DO THE MISSION BEFORE I THROW YOU ALL IN THE DUNGEON!!! FOR THREE WEEKS!!!

Kamek: Yep, that’s what he said. Bye!!!

Kamek flies off. The Koopalings are all panicking.

Larry: We’ve got to stop or King Dad will drop the bomb on us!

Bowser Jr: Be quiet! The party is starting!

Ludwig: Didn't you just say that?

Bowser Jr: I guess its the narrator's fault.

Narrator: Shut up!!! *throws a rock at Junior*

Bowser Jr: Youch!!! What was that for?

Narrator: For being an idiot, that’s what!

The party is starting and the princess is all happy.

Princess Peach: Yay! It's my birthday! Yay!!!

Luigi: I’m bored, Mario.

Mario: Me too. I wish something would happen.

A giant cake suddenly comes in.

Larry: Now’s our chance!

Peach: Didn't there used to be chocolate frosting there? With chocolate bars sticking out?

Bowser Jr: Yeah... Where is it?

Ludwig: Burp!!! Excuse me.

Peach: What was that?

Bowser Jr. comes out.

Bowser Jr: Hyah!!!

Mario: What the?

The Koopalings jump out.

Koopalings: Wah!!!

Peach: Ahh!!!

The Koopalings all pick up the cake and throw it at Peach. Then they pick it up again and carry it to the doomship. The massive airship then storms off.

Peach: Mario!!!

Bowser Jr: Hahahahah!!!

Mario and his friends proceed to give chase after the Koopas, as two regular Toads put the presents into a cannon and fire them all across the kingdom.
 

World 1-1, The Beginning of a New Adventure

Mario and friends are now out of the castle, and see the doomship drop off Larry Koopa.

Bowser Jr: We will be back to pick you up at dawn. Take care of yourself!!!

Larry: Bye!!!

Blue Toad: By the looks of this, this is not going to be easy.

Luigi: Be quiet, boy, or I will kill you.

Blue Toad: Ahh!!!

Mario: Quit threatening him.

Luigi: Ok.

Mario & Friends go in the level. There they realize that it’s just like the old games' first levels.

Mario: The first level of the game is always similar.

Luigi: I know. It’s so boring.

Yellow Toad wanders until he finds a coin.

Yellow Toad: Today’s my lucky day!!!

Luigi: No it's not.

Yellow Toad: Huh?

Luigi beats up Yellow Toad until Mario goes to a ? Block and finds 4 Mushrooms.

Mario: Hey guys! Get the Mushrooms before they're gone!

Luigi and the Toads grab the Mushrooms as quickly as they can.

Luigi and Toads: Got it!

After getting their Mushrooms, they proceed underground.

Blue Toad: Why does the music have a guitar playing?

Luigi: Play an electric one!!!

Narrator: Sadly, no, I can't.

Mario: Why?

Narrator: Because I didn't make the game.

Mario, Luigi, and the Toads: NNNNOOOOOO!!!

Narrator: Now shut up before I throw rocks at you all. I already did it to a fruit kid earlier.

Mario: Who?

Narrator: Some kid named Bowser Jr.

Mario: Oh my gosh! We gotta catch them, save Peach, and have a vacation.

Narrator: Ok, bye retard.

Heroes: Bye.

After our heroes grab all the coins that can fit in their pockets, they grab the midway flag and slide down, killing Goombas. They grab Propeller Mushrooms too.

Luigi: Look Mario, I'm the Born Retard!!!

Mario: Shut up, Mama Luigi. This is a very useful item and if it falls into the wrong hands, I will kill you.

They use their new powers and fly to the big red ring and play a game. They have to get all 8 red coins before time is up. They also get the Star Coins.

Mario: Yay, we got them all!

Luigi: Yay...

Blue Toad: Look everybody, flagpole!

Yellow Toad: Yay!!!

Mario and Friends manage to reach the flagpole. Meanwhile, inside one of the blocks nearby, a Koopa Troopa reports some bad news to Larry Koopa.

Koopa: Bosses!!! Bad news, Mario and other idiots have advanced to go to other levels!!!

Larry: Hmm... We must do something...

Koopa: But what?

Larry: Send in more Goombas and Koopas. I have a feeling that we shall win, like our father has told us....

Will Mario, Luigi, and the Toads stop Bowser and the Koopalings' vile plan?

Read on!


 
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