The referee:

The announcer:

The interpreter:

The greatest guy in the world:

***

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Welcome to Roy's Sports Hall! I'm your invincible host, Jelectro! And I'm Ludwig, your interpreter.

Larry: I'm Larry, here to give my predictions.

Koopa Troopa: *hic*

Roy: And I'm the greatest guy in the world!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Whatever. Since I won the last three weeks, we are starting with two new challengers! And here they are.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: In the Red Corner, coming from Mario 2 and Wario's Woods, and with a weakness to flying vegetables, it's Pidget!

Pidget: Thanks for the intro, but I'm sure everyone already knew me.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: In the Blue Corner, coming from Mario 1, Mario 3, and Paper Mario, and with a weakness to just about everything, it's Paratroopa!

Paratroopa: Ack! Oh... it's only you.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: And now, here's Larry with his prediction on today's winner. Larry?

Larry: Yes, well, contrary to what some tourist said, I've never seen a Pidget fly on its own. If Paratroopa can get rid of Pidget's carpet then he'll be grounded, and I'm pretty sure he'll lose then. I'm going with Paratroopa to win.

Roy: Our tourist of the week is... heh heh... Crazy Packers Fan!

Crazy Packers Fan: What?! I was fan of the week last time!

Roy: Well the script writer ran out of ideas, so this is what happens.

Crazy Packers Fan: ... And this from my favorite Koopaling.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: We are now awaiting Koopa Troopa to start the battle.

Koopa Troopa's tongue dangles out of his mouth and hits the bell.

Pidget: Let's go!

Paratroopa: Oh dear!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: And they're off!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Pidget is chasing Paratroopa around the ring... I didn't know Paratroopa could fly while hiding in his shell, but he's still very weak anyway.

Thwimp: All that from one "bzz"?

Paratroopa: Someone save me...

Pidget: Come back here and fight like a Koopa!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Pidget catches up to Paratroopa by cutting the corners of the ring! The two collide but nothing seems to happen.

Paratroopa: Huh? Who's rocking the boat?

Pidget: Oh! Swoop attack is the only thing I know! Hey- what the?!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: WOW! The beating of Paratroopa's wings caused Pidget's flying carpet to get blown away! He's down on the ring floor! This can't be good.

Roy: Fight, Pidget! FIGHT!!!

Pidget: Owhow! My wings! Wings? I HAVE WINGS!!!

Paratroopa: Please, leave me alone!

Pidget: No... hahaha!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Pidget flaps his newly-found wings and takes flight, but he falls down to the floor again. It seems he can't remember how to fly!

Pidget: No no, not that way!

Paratroopa: Stay down there... please?

Pidget: Not a chance, I will fly!

Paratroopa: Well, in that case... SHELL ATTACK!!!

Pidget: Huh? AGH!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Paratroopa has suddenly fired his shell at Pidget! But the shell just misses and rebounds and hits him! Paratroopa is down!

Koopa Troopa: Spz.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: It's over, it's all over! Pidget has defeated Paratroopa and will return next week for our special four-person match. I know I'll win! I'm gonna defeat Thwimp first.

Thwimp: HEY!

Roy: Now it's time for some fun!

Crazy Packers Fan: No fair! I got zapped last week!

Roy: Writings repeat.

Bzz!

Crazy Packers Fan: BlagadiblagadiblagadiblagadiablagadiAAH!

All: End transmission!

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the boxing arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.