The referee:

The announcer:

The interpreter:

***

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Welcome back to Roy's Sports Hall! Jelectro and I are still here, and we're ready for a great battle to begin.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Even though Jelectro was knocked out last week, he is still invincible, by the way.

Roy: I wish. Now let's get things started! I wanna find out who the Tourist of the Week is!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Of course. In the Blue Corner, coming from Mario 2 and with a weakness to vegetables and being thrown, it's Beezo!

Beezo: I hate my name... and I hate you Pidget!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: And in the Red Corner, coming from Mario 2 and with a weakness to being off his carpet, our one-time champ is Pidget!

Pidget: Soon to be two, oh yeah!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: As always (not really), here is Larry with his analysis. Larry?

Larry: I'm going with Pidget this week. I just found out from a very reliable source that he has psychic powers... can't beat that! Back to you, Jelectro.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: And now it's time for the Tourist of the Week to be announced! Roy, if you will...

Roy: Of course, and it's about time too! Lemmy had better have chosen me this time.

Larry: Roy... you're not a tourist.

Roy: Don't care! Well let's see now...

Roy snaps his fingers and the envelope appears in his hand.

Roy: The winner- gah! What was Lemmy thinking?! This... this...

Ludwig: Out with it, Roy. Who's the winner?

Roy: The Tourists of the Week are Husky/Washu and Max Jones!

Washu: What? Really?! No way!

Max Jones: Uh... has the Tourist of the Week been announced yet? Who won?

Husky: Baconbaconbaconbacon!

Roy: What kind of a motley crew is this?! And Tourists of the Week? Is that legal?

Max Jones: If Lemmy says so then sure.

Washu: Hey, Lemmy would like to thank you for your good work here.

Roy: Whatever. Start the battle already!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Paging Koopa Troopa! Koopa Troopa to the ring!

Koopa Troopa: I'm on break! See ya Thursday.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: ...

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Uh... start!

Roy: Stupid Lemmy...

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: The competitors take to the air and fly right at each other. They collide and bounce off, no damage.

Beezo: Next time I'll aim my spear better.

Pidget: Oh yeah? Well next time I'll come down right on your head!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Beezo and Pidget circle around... neither seems willing to make the first move now.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Beezo throws his spear! But it's a miss!

Pidget: Missed me! Njah!

Beezo: Lucky thing I keep a spare spear.

Pidget: Aw...

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Pidget lunges forward but takes a hit from the new spear. He's off the carpet and down on the floor!

Beezo: Haha! Battle over!

Pidget: Nuh uh! How about this?!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Huh? Something weird's happening. Pidget is standing immobile, staring at Beezo... now Beezo is plummeting towards the floor at an incredible rate!

CRASH

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Beezo was sent headfirst into the floor! That must have been the psychic powers Larry mentioned.

Pidget: Yes! Battle over!

Beezo: N... no! I'm still here!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Beezo's off the floor and charging Pidget, who was caught off-guard. Oh, a left and a right and a left and a... since when can Beezo punch like that?

Pidget: Woahoahoah...

Beezo: That's... it! Hahaha!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: I'd call that over. How about you, Roy?

Roy: No, Pidget's still in there.

Pidget: Lookit all da pwetty birdies!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: ...

Roy: Alright, fine. Beezo wins.

Beezo: Yeah!

Washu: Oh no!

Husky: Baconbaconbaconbacon!

Max Jones: Was there a battle just now?

Roy: Well, at least I get my consolation price. Oh Husky, Washu, Max Jones!

Washu: Leave us alone!

Husky: Baconbaconbaconbacon!

Roy: ... Max Jones!

Max Jones: Gah! I'm awake!

Roy: This may be a shock for you, but- ha!

Husky, Washu, and Max Jones: BlagadiblagadiblagadiblagadiAAH!

Husky/Washu: End transmission!

Max Jones: Was something transmitting?

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the boxing arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.