The referee:

The announcer:

The interpreter:

***

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: It's been a while, but welcome back to Roy's Boxing Arena!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: I'm your invincible announcer, Jelectro! ... And I'm your interpretor, Ludwig von Koopa.

Larry: I'm your analyst, Larry Koopa!

Mario: I'm-a Mario!

Roy: ... And I'm your lord and master, Roy Koopa!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: To the opponents! Taking up space in the Blue Corner, weak to himself, it's Bob-omb!

Bob-omb: Don't make me mad!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Oh no, we wouldn't want to do that. Because in the Red Corner, weak to everything and especially Bob-omb explosions, somehow returning from last week as the champion, it's Shy Guy!

Shy Guy: OH NO! I CAN'T FIND MY MASK!!!

Lil Cheep Cheep: Now you know how it feels!

Skippy: Yoink!

Lil Cheep Cheep: NOT AGAIN!!!

Shy Guy: Found it!

Roy: That reminds me... let's get to the Tourist of the Week!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Ok.

Roy: Well last week we missed Rachelle. Rachelle, would you please stand up for a bow and so we can throw stuff at you?

Rachelle: Uh... no.

Roy: Darn! Well who will the Tourist of the Week be this time? Envelope, please!

Roy snaps his fingers and suddenly has the envelope.

Roy: The Tourist of the Week is... Rachelle! She won it again!

Rachelle: Me?! No way! Aw, thanks Lemmy!

Roy: Well that's just fine with me, because now we haven't really missed her at all!

Rachelle: ... Uh oh...

Roy: Strap her down, boys! And Rachelle... heh heh... enjoy the battle.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: And on that cheery note, Larry?

Larry: The analysis for this week was so easy that you can hardly call it an analysis. One little Bob from Bob-omb should easily finish off the champion, let alone a full explosion. So my vote's for Bob-omb!

Roy: Thank you, Punching Bag, for your support!

Larry: Grr...

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's battle!

Koopa Troopa: I'm feeling peaceful today. No battle.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Looks like we need another ref.

Roy: No problem!

Roy throws a ball to the ground. It opens and out pops a random character. It's...

Lemmy: Lemmy!

Roy: NOO!

Lemmy: All right, time for a clean, fair match.

Roy: WAH!

Lemmy: And... fight!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Here we go at last.

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Both opponents are moving slowly towards each other... slowly.... the distance between them is decreasing.

Shy Guy: I'm not fast, ok?!

Bob-omb: I'm so mad, I might just explode!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Slowly... slowly... oh, they're close, and-

BOB-OMB!!!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: Oh... woah.... what... what happened?

Lemmy: Victory to... Shy Guy!

Larry: What? How?!

Roy: Yeah! What? How?!

Jelectro: Bzz!

Ludwig: I didn't see that! Lemmy?

Lemmy: They got close and Bob-omb exploded, but Shy Guy suddenly leapt away and avoided the blast. Bob-omb destroyed itself and Shy Guy has only miner wounds.

Shy Guy: Hi!
 

Roy: He cheated! Everyone knows Shy Guys can't jump, let alone leap.

Lemmy: Tough.

Roy: Aww... Lemmy, return!

Lemmy: What? NOO!

Lemmy suddenly vanishes.

Shy Guy: I get to battle next week yeah! I get to battle next week yeah! I get to-

Roy: Oh no you don't!

Shy Guy: Aw c'mon! I won in a... somewhat... fair and square way.

Roy: I don't care. It's time for my special match with a non-Mario character!

Audience: GASP!

Roy: Oh yes, sure to be exciting. But Rachelle, I think you'll find this really exciting...

Rachelle: No, Roy, stop! BlagadiblagadiblagadiblagadiAAH! End transmission!

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the boxing arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.