The referee:

The announcer:

***

Roy is in the stands, counting the money that he earned from ticket sales.

Roy: I sure am happy that I made Lemmy open this arena!

Lemmy: I'll just be happy when the match is over. Remind me to lock you out of my Land.

Roy: Sure thing, Lem, and then I'll knock you out!

Albatoss: Now, don't you try anything funny you two! I can see all and if you break any rules I'll be a peckin' ya!

Lemmy: Can you see the huge hole that Sumo Koopa is stuck in so that he can't move?

Albatoss: ...No.

Lemmy: Roy!

Roy: (snickering) What hole?

Lemmy: Why do I even come here?

Grim Reaper: Let's get this match going! I'm waiting for one of these heavy-weights to get killed so I can bring them down under with me.

Roy: Sounds fair enough. Sumo will be dead shortly. Albatoss, go ahead and start it!

Albatoss: I also see that Boom Boom will win, your majesty! You two, start fighting!

Sumo Koopa: Sumo strong! Sumo win!

Boom Boom: Strong Boom is! Gon win!

Sumo Koopa: Sumo strong! Sumo win!

Boom Boom: Strong Boom is! Gon win!

Hours later...

Sumo Koopa: Sumo strong! Sumo win!

Boom Boom: Strong Boom is! Gon win!

Grim Reaper: How boring! I want to see some gore!

Lemmy: This is pretty dull. Roy?

Roy: Boom Boom! Charge Sumo like I told you!

Boom Boom: ...Ok.

Albatoss: Everything looks all right to me.

Lemmy: Even the glue Sumo is stuck to at the bottom of the hole?

Albatoss: What hole?

Lemmy: Oh yeah, forgot you couldn't see that.

Grim Reaper: I'm waiting for my dinner!

As if taking that as a cue, Boom Boom starts charging toward the hole. The arena shakes with each footstep, but no one is standing on the floor to feel it. Boom Boom reaches the hole and jumps, intending to land on Sumo and knock him out, but-

Grim Reaper: Oh, the gore! Boom Boom has overjumped the hole and looks ready to explode! And look there, the disturbance his weight caused has blasted Sump Koopa back into action! Looks like I'll get some meat after all!

Roy: This can't be!

Sumo Koopa, who was blasted into the air, lands on top of Boom Boom and knocks the little bit of life out of him. The match is clearly over.

Albatoss: The winner is... Boom Boom!

Lemmy: No! It's Sumo!

Roy jumps up.

Lemmy: Or else I tell Bowser when you did (whisper whisper whisper).

Roy: You do and-

Lemmy: I'll tell Bowser about that too.

Roy gulps and nods at Albatoss.

Albatoss: Sumo wins, bye!

Albatoss skidaddles out of the arena.

Grim Arena: Out of my way, it's dinnertime!

Suddenly, Roy remembers something.

Roy: Lemmy! I never did that!

Lemmy: Heheh... heh?

Lemmy runs out, Roy right behind.

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the boxing arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.