The referee:

The announcer:

***

Kamek: We're baaack! Welcome to this special edition of Roy's Battle Arena! I'm your host, Kamek!

Pokey: I'm Pokey.

Kamek: Haven't changed a bit, have you?

Pokey: Nope.

Kamek: Ugh. Well we've got a special treat for you this week. Roy is in the ring, and this time he's up against a non-Mario character! How about you introduce yourself, Grunty?

Gruntilda: I am Gruntilda, the beautiful witch.
To win this battle, I have a great itch!

Kamek: Poetry is one of the finer things of life, isn't it, Pokey?

Pokey: No.

Roy: Get on with it already!

Kamek: Uh, of course! Larry, your analysis please!

Larry: I already stated my opinion in my review of Grunty. She will win for sure.

Gruntilda: The kid is right, he is quite smart,
For Grunty is a work of art!

Kamek: Now usually around now it would be time for the Tourist of the Week to be announced, but I don't know if Roy can-

Roy: Sure I can!

Kamek: Ok!

Roy: Envelope please!

Roy snaps his fingers and has the envelope.

Roy: Cookie!

Roy snaps his fingers... but does not get a cookie.

Roy: Drat! Well anyway, the Tourist of the Week is... hoohoohaha!

Everyone: Who?!

Roy: The Tourist of the Week is... Crazy Packers Fan!

Crazy Packers Fan: NO!

Roy: Oh yes, I've got you in here again... and no Chargin' Chucks either!

Crazy Packers Fan: Darn... well you won't zap me again!

Roy: We'll see... let's fight already!

Gruntilda: Yes, we should fight right now,
Though you can't win, no way, no how!

Roy: ... Pokey!

Pokey: Fight.

Roy: At last!

Kamek: And they're off! Grunty takes to the skies on her broomstick. Roy comes out swinging but has no target.

Roy: Hey! That's cheating!

Grunty: Of course it is, and it's too bad,
For this is what happens when I get mad!

Kamek: Grunty is firing stuff now. Oh! Roy is hit! Oh! Roy is hit again! Oof!

...

Kamek: Woah!

...

Kamek: That had to hurt!

...

Kamek: Man!

Roy: *pant* *pant* Noo... can't... lose to... someone so... ugly!

Gruntilda: What?! No, you are lying,
Fortunately, you are also dying!

Roy: No lady, it is true.
No one is uglier than you!

Gruntilda: My green is prettier than blue or orange!
It's the best color there is and... and... WHAT?!

Kamek: Oh! Grunty can't think of any word that rhymes with orange! She's turning really weird colors. She's also fallen to the floor!

WHAM!

Kamek: Roy landed a big one! Oh that must have hurt!

Gruntilda: YOUCH! My sisters two, come lend a hand!
Assistance I need, so I demand!

Mingella: Help we will not, for drop weight on us you did, plus lie you did about rhyming no more.

Gruntilda: Klungo! Come here and help your mistress!
Or I'll give you a beating when I'm past this distress!

Klungo: Klungo not help mean missstresss, Klungo with bear and bird now.

Gruntilda: Then one more trick I do have to try.
Roy, what's two plus two, and why?

Roy: Uh...

WHAM!

Gruntilda: Nighty night... woah...

Pokey: Stop.

Kamek: And so, Roy defeated the evil Gruntilda! We return to our regularly-scheduled battles.

Roy: Wait, there's one more thing! I love my job...

Crazy Packers Fan: BlagadiblagadiblagadiblagadiAAH!!! End transmission! I don't believe it...

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the boxing arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.