The referee:

The announcer:

***

Shy Guy: You're tuned to Roy's Battle Arena, I very wise choice! I am Shy Guy, your announcer. Tonight's opponents are...

Piranha Plant: Piranha Plant! I appeared in Mario 1, and nearly every game since then. With my powerful bite attack, I will win for sure.

Boom Boom: Boom Boom! I appeared in Mario 3, but have been forgotten since then. I am the current Champion, and with my powerful fists I will make Nintendo remember me!

Roy: The all-powerful Roy Koopa! I'm not fighting tonight, but if I were, I'd kill 'em all instantly.

Shy Guy: Yes, I'm sure you would. Well, as Roy promised last week, Larry has come back to life. Larry, how are you feeling?

Larry: Ok, considering I was dead.

Shy Guy: Hm... So, do you have an analysis?

Larry: Yes, it came in a brilliant white light. Boom Boom will win tonight.

Roy: This week's Tourist of the Week is not Sanchez and his stupid rubber coat, it's Red Koopa!

Red Koopa: Yay! I'm so happy, I don't even care if I get shocked!

Roy: Good, because you almost certainly will be. Let's get this battle going!

Shy Guy: Here comes Koopa Troopa to get this battle underway.

Koopa Troopa: Spz... Aw, you know what, forget it! I'm not actually drunk today! Heh, that's right! Fighters ready? Then let's... FIGHT!!!

Boom Boom: This will be quick.

Piranha Plant: Roy, what did you think you were accomplishing when you tied me to the floor?

Roy: HAHAHAHAHA... haha... ha... oh...

Shy Guy: Boom Boom comes a-charging and delivers a blow to the tied down Piranha Plant, but Piranha Plant bites his fist!

Boom Boom: YEOW!!!

Piranha Plant: Hm... tastes like-

Everyone: Chicken?

Piranha Plant: No, Mario.

Boom Boom: WHAT?! Alright pal, take this!

Shy Guy: Another punch is... uh, eaten.

Boom Boom: Owhow! I'm out of good hands. But I have wings too!

Shy Guy: Boom Boom takes to the skies. Now he's barreling down on Piranha Plant-

CHOMP

Piranha Plant: Swender, er ah cush yer hed.

Shy Guy: Uh...

Boom Boom's response can't be heard because his head is in Piranha Plant's mouth, but he waves the white flag. Piranha Plant releases him.

Boom Boom: WAH! No fair! I'm never coming out of my fortress again!

Boom Boom runs away.

Koopa Troopa: Victory to... Piranha Plant!

Roy: This can't be! I tied you down and everything! ... Oh, right.

Piranha Plant: Who's good? Oh yeah!

Shy Guy: And so, Piranha Plant wins-

Roy: And so, Red Koopa gets a shock!

Red Koopa: Bring it on! BlagadiblagadiblagadiblagadiAAG! YEAH!!!

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the boxing arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.