The referee:

The announcer:

***

Kamek: Let's rumble!

Lemmy (from the stands): If I see anything unfair in tonight's fight, I'm never coming back here.

Roy: Don't worry! I've made sure there will be nothing unfair in this fight.

Lemmy: I bet.

Roy: Well, look at my referee! He's been programmed to stop any foul-play.

Mecha Koopa teeters its way into the ring. Then it falls over.

Lemmy: Maybe I should just leave now.

Roy: Bro, you worry too much! See, I planned for this. Kamek is in the announcer's booth, and I know he won't let anything nasty go by.

Kamek, unbeseen to all other, fingers the money that Roy let him steal from the audience.

Kamek: I just hope there's not too much blood...

Lemmy: Well, Kamek is pretty good about those things. Maybe the ol' windbag is good for something after all!

Roy: Are we going to discuss the fight or watch it?

Lemmy: I guess we may as well get it over with...

Roy: Kamek!

Kamek: In the red corner, weighing in way over 500 pounds, the twice returning champ, Sumo Koopa! And in the blue corner, weighing in at several ounces when there's a rock on the scale, it's the one, the only, Angry Sun!

Angry Sun: And I'll be angry too if I don't win tonight!

Sumo Koopa: Sumo win! Sumo win!

The Angry Sun rolls its eyes.

Kamek: And we're waiting for the referee to start things off...

Mecha Koopa suddenly implodes.

Kamek: And they're off! Sumo rushes headforward into the arena and serves up a punch for the challenger, but- oh! The Angry Sun has avoided it by flying into the stratosphere! I just hope he doesn't hit the ceiling!

Lemmy: Well, this battle has outlasted the last two.

Roy: Quiet, I'm watchin'!

Sumo Koopa: Where sun go?

Angry Sun: Try behind you, prodigy!

Kamek: It looks like the Angry Sun is really heating things up! He's flying in closer to Sumo... I just hope he can take the heat!

Sumo Koopa finally takes the hint and turns around to see his opponent steadily approaching. He serves up another one of his huge punches and hits his target.

Sumo Koopa: Ow! Sumo hurt hand!

Kamek: It seems that Sumo's punch is anti-effective!

Fortunately for Sumo, the Angry Sun is moving really slowly. He switches from his punch to a ground pound so strong that a crack forms in the arena.

Roy: Hey! You're payin' for that!

Kamek: Wow, I'm impressed! But it won't help Sumo Koopa win, because the Angry Sun isn't on the floor!

Sumo's time finally runs out, The Angry Sun encompasses him and quickly burns him to a crisp. As soon as Sumo Koopa is completely blackened, the Angry Sun backs off and Sumo Koopa faints to the ground.

Roy: YES!

A second Mecha Koopa walks into the arena and explodes.

Kamek: And that's it! Even though I didn't see one, it seems that Sumo Koopa is down for the count! Your new champion is that hot-rod dude, the Angry Sun!

Angry Sun: Baby, I'm hot!

Roy: Oh yeah! Whoo!

Kamek: (playing paddleball) Now I'm dieing to know who the new champion will pick to challenge for next time!

Angry Sun: I take-

Roy: WAIT!

Roy jumps from his seat in the audience and lands expertly in the arena.

Roy: This is gettin' borin, so it's time to stir things up! We have four champions, so it's gonna be a big slug fest! Yup, our next match is the winner vs. Lemmy Koopa vs. Sumo Koopa vs. the Angry Sun. I'm so excited, I can hardly wait!

Angry Sun: Just as well, I'll beat three of 'em at once!

The Angry Sun glides out of the arena, and Kamek flies out shortly afterwards. The audiences dribbles out the doors.

Lemmy: I take it you mean you're going to be the winner, right Roy?

Roy: (eyebrow raised) Who else could it be?

Lemmy: Should I even bother showing up?

Roy: You'd better!

Lemmy: Fair enough.

Roy: Now, to set up those traps...

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the boxing arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.