The referee:

The announcer:

***

Piranha Plant: (with a mouth full of food) Welcuh tuh Riy's Sput's Huh. *gulp* Mmm, delicious! I need to get out of here fast because I have a dinner reservation, so let's meet the fighters!

Marching Milde: I'm Marching Milde! If you take my two initials you have MM, with is almost M&Ms, a tasty sweet nearly as sweet as me!

Bumpty Penguin: I'm Bumpty Penguin, the champ, and I am now thoroughly disgusted as a result of what my opponent just said.

Piranha Plant: That made me even hungrier! Larry, made a prediction, quick!

Larry: Do you even need to ask? Since Milde has no attacks, Bumpty can't possibly lose.

Piranha Plant: Roy, hurry! Announce the Tourist of the Week!

Roy: Sure, sure, in a bit...

Piranha Plant: ROY!!!

Roy: Eh, whatever. You'd better give me some of that food though... and the Tourist of the Week is Rachelle.

Rachelle: Yeah! Hey, give me something to edit!

Roy: You can edit this battle if Bumpty loses.

Shy Guy: Hey Roy, how did you know who the Tourist of the Week was without opening the envelope?

Piranha Plant: Who cares? Shy Guy, start the battle!

Shy Guy: Not until the opponents agree to follow the rules.

Piranha Plant: NOW!!!

Shy Guy: Ok ok... fight!

Piranha Plant: And we're finally off! Bumpty lunges out of his corner while Milde waddles out of hers. Bumpty makes the first offensive with a leap into Milde, but he bounces off without appearing to have caused any harm... Milde was pushed back a few steps, but she appears to be alright as she continues to waddle about. Here comes Bumpty with another leap, but he bounces off again! Milde doesn't seem to mind, and here comes Bumpty once again- no effect!

Piranha Plant looks truly disturbed.

Piranha Plant: This is gonna be a looong battle...

One hour later...

Piranha Plant: I MISSED MY DINNER!!!

Shy Guy: You also missed the end of the battle! Look!

Piranha Plant: It seems that Bumpty Penguin has passed out from exhaustion! Milde, still unharmed, is the winner!

Marching Milde: Unlike M&Ms, I don't just melt in the mouth, and it seems I made things a bit sticky for my opponent.

Piranha Plant: ... I hate you.

Roy: Me too! Rachelle, edit this!

Rachelle: Sorry, I can only edit stories.

Roy: Then take this!

Rachelle: Not before this!

Rachelle tries to shoot an egg at Roy, but is just a bit too late. The egg leaves her mouth just as she gets electricuted and explodes, covering her face in egg yolk.

Rachelle: BlagadiblagadiblagadiblagadiAAG! Oh, eww, gross! End transmission!

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the boxing arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.