The broadcaster:

***

Lakitu: Good evening, and welcome to the 7:36 news. Later tonight we will bring you the latest dietary findings: brocolli could actually be the world's deadliest food. But first, we bring you the latest from Roy's Sports Hall. This channel was unable to bring you the action due to the annual presentation of Home Alone 9, but Tourist of the Week Jazzman remains on the spot. Jazzman?

Jazzman: What's swingin', cloud dude?

Lakitu: Can you tell us about the battle that happened here today?

Jazzman: Battle? Oh, you're talkin' about that act. Marching Milde, the champion, couldn't touch the challenger, Firebar. It was wild! He tried and got blown out of the Arena, and Firebar, he wasn't even doing nothin', 'xept spinnin'. Sure was lucky for me Larry gueesed Firebar, or I'd've been fried, man, and that's not cool.

Lakitu: So, did the public miss anything?

Jazzman: Uh, no!

Lakitu: Thank you, Jazzman. In Ice Land today, a bank was robbed of everything in it. Detective Penguin reports.

Detective Penguin: My men are scouring the bank as I speak. The thief sure was clever, so far we've only found one clue, but I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this.

Lakitu: The clue was a note which, according to a witness who asked to remain anonymous, said, "I, Bandit, have robbed the bank, and will be waiting in the restuarant across the street until this 8 PM tonight for my ride. I'm gone! Ha!" More on this case as news breaks. We now take a pause for your local sponsors- DON'T GO ANYWHERE!!! DON'T!!!

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the boxing arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.