The referee:

The announcer:

***

Piranha Plant: Welcome back to Roy's Boxing Arena. Before we get underway, please rise for a better view of the action in the ring.

Roy in the ring: I am just seconds away from- Hey! You! Yes, you! Get up! ... That's better. As I was saying, I am just seconds away from pulverizing this filth- er, I mean, tourist, who has not yet apologized for his actions. I trust this will change soon.

In the ring with Roy, tied to the floor, is Dave Phaneuf.

Dave Phaneuf: Hey! You told me you were going to fill up the ring with ice cream!

Roy: Uh, nope!

Piranha Plant: There will be no need for a referree for this battle! So just start!

Roy: My pleasure!

Piranha Plant: Roy bounds from his corner, but Dave Phaneuf isn't doing anything! Oh! Now Roy is punching him and stomping on him and clawing at him and... ooh, not that's not pretty.

Dave Phaneuf: Ow...

Roy: Apologize! APOLOGIZE!!!

Piranha Plant: Will Dave Phaneuf apologize? Find out the next time he writes an Interview! For now, we return to the regularly scheduled battle, and it is sure to be heated! In the Red Corner is our two-time Champion, Firebar!

Firebar: Swish! ... Swish!

Piranha Plant: In the Blue Corner is the challenger, Mack!

Mack: I don't see you bouncing with me! You will pay!

Piranha Plant: Here is Larry with his analysis.

Larry: I'm going with Mack for this battle. Both fighters should be resistant to fire attacks, but maybe, just maybe, Mack can do something else.

Piranha Plant: Roy will now announce the Tourist of the Week.

Roy: Oh, if I must. The Tourist of the Week is... Black Yoshi!

Black Yoshi: Yay! I sure am glad I came back!

Roy: That will change when I zap you! To the battle!

Piranha Plant: Here comes referee Shy Guy to start the battle.

Shy Guy: And... fight!

Piranha Plant: And we're underway! Firebar starts to spin around like it so often does, while Mack bounces out of his corner towards the Champion! He's in the middle of the ring now, getting-

Dave Phaneuf: OW!!!

Piranha Plant: Ow! Mack bounced on Dave Phaneuf, who is still trapped in the middle of the ring! That will sting in the morning, as well as all those other injuries! Well, Mack has reached Firebar, and here comes Firebar's spin attack- Oh! Mack bounces over it!

Firebar: Swoosh!

Piranha Plant: Mack has plenty of time to attack now, and he's using his fireball attack. It's a direct hit on Firebar! But he doesn't appear to be phased.

Mack: Flame Wall!

Piranha Plant: Mack has sent out tons of flames, hitting everything!

Dave Phaneuf: Ow...

Piranha Plant: What's this?! Mack's Flame Wall has melted the block attached to Firebar! Now he's flying around the ring wildly! He doesn't appear to be in control- Oh, now he's hurtling towards Mack! Mack bounces often him though, and Firebar continues careening around the ring.

Mack: Bounce with me! BOUNCE WITH ME!!!

Piranha Plant: Firebar has now bounced out of the ring, so he will be out of the match!

Shy Guy: Victory to... Mack!

Mack: Yeah! Take that!

Piranha Plant: Mack will come back next week and, thankfully, so will Shy Guy and I. This is Piranha Plant, signing off for Roy's Battle Arena.

Black Yoshi: I knew Lemmy wouldn't let me get zapped!

Roy: Aw... Well, then I'll beat up Dave Phaneuf some more! Hahaha!

The winner:

The loser: