The referee:

The announcer:

***

Mack: Keep bouncing, or else!

The camera pans around the arena. Everyone in the audience is bouncing up and down- or being bounced on.

Mack: Good, very good. Ah, welcome to Roy's Boxing Arena! I am your host, Mack, and as long as you bounce with me there'll be no problems. Here with me is our refereee, Piranha Plant, who can't bounce.

Piranha Plant: You wanna come down here to the ring and say that?

Mack: Sure, right after we've all bounced through this match. Also here in the Arena is Larry Koopa, your analyzer, who bounces a lot when he gets scared.

Larry: You're thinking about Iggy.

Mack: Nope! But of course, we couldn't forget the soverein being here, and that, of course, is the very bouncy in spirit Roy Koopa!

Roy: I'm starting to like this guy! Maybe things will finally go my way around here.

Mack: Finally, we come to our special guest appearances of the week, the fighters. Since, ahem, I won last week for the third time-

Piranha Plant: Rub it in, why don't ya?

Mack: As I was saying, since I won for my third time in a row last week, we have two new competitors this week. In the Red Corner, a guy that I have never once seen bounce, it's the puncing bag of Super Mario World, Rex!

Rex: Dinosaurs don't bounce, ya know.

Mack: Ah ah ah, but I'm sure I've seen Yoshi bounce.

Rex: Yeah... well... he's an infected elf.

Roy: Huh? Who mentioned my brother?

Mack: Yeah... Well, in the Blue Corner, he doesn't bounce but his bones do bounce back to life, it's the ever-regenerating Dry Bones!

Dry Bones: I... cannot... be killed...

Rex: Ooh, I'm scared! Not! Only fireballs can hurt me!

Roy: Hey! Don't you dare quote me!

Dry Bones: Plus... that is... not true...

Rex: It is as far as you're concerned.

Mack: Heh, let's get this match underway before the audience passes out. (yes, the audience is still bouncing) But first, Roy, would you honor us by announcing the Tourist of the Week?

Roy: Sure, why not? The Tourist of the Week is... Ellie Marie Koopa!

Ellie Marie Koopa: Yay! I knew Lemmy was a great brother!

Everyone stares at Ellie, including the rest of the bouncing audience.

Ellie Marie Koopa: Er, I mean, friend, of course!

Roy: Right... Well, strap her down!

Ellie Marie Koopa: Hey, I'm still bouncing here!

Mack: I guess I can make an exception if you're strapped down.

Roy: Good.

Mack: And, finally finally, here is Larry with his analysis.

Larry: After doing a lot of thinking, loads of research, and an incredible amount of mathematics, I have concluded that the winner will be Rex-

Larry is suddenly knocked out of the Arena by the tons of objects that the still-bouncing audience throws at him.

Roy: Obviously not the popular opinion.

Mack: Popular or not, it's time to battle.

Piranha Plant: Ok, I want this fight to be as vicious as possible.

Dry Bones: No... problem...

Rex: I'll show ya vicious!

Piranha Plant: Fighters pumped? GO!

Rex and Dry Bones start to move towards each other, when suddenly...

???: YOU WIN!!!

Everyone: Huh?

Just as suddenly, Rex starts to flicker, then disappears, leaving Dry Bones the apparent winner.

Piranha Plant: I don't know what happened, but Dry Bones wins!

Audience: Yay!

Dry Bones: I was... so strong... that I won... automatically...

Mack: Well, it appears that Dry Bones was an instant winner. I haven't seen one of those in all my days of bouncing!

Roy: I don't like this, but at least I get to do this!

Ellie Marie Koopa: BlagadiblagadiblagadiblagadiAAG!!! Ooh, that wasn't nice! End transmission!

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the boxing arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.