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Amazing Flying Hammer Brother: With an arsenal as long as his name, he's sure to win. |
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Blowhard: Sure, he's better than last week's loser, but he still doesn't stand a chance. |
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Amazing Flying Hammer Brother: With an arsenal as long as his name, he's sure to win. |
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Blowhard: Sure, he's better than last week's loser, but he still doesn't stand a chance. |
The referee:
The announcer:
***
As the Arena comes into view, we can see Roy and Buster Beetle in the ring, Amazing Flying Hammer Brother in the announcer's box, and Blowhard wearing a ref's uniform.
Blowhard: Ready?! Fi-
Roy: Wait, wait a second! This isn't right! Start again!
***
The Arena comes into focus a second time. Mastadoom and Buster Beetle are now in the ring, Amazing is wearing a ref's outfit, and Blowhard is in the announcer's box. As for Roy...
Roy: AAH!!! WHAT AM I DOING IN A PINK DRESS?! START AGAIN!!!
***
After the camera blanks out for a second time, we are able to see the Arena once again. This time, Amazing and Blowhard are in the ring, Buster Beetle is wearing a ref's uniform, and Mastadoom is in the announcer's box. Roy is getting beat up by a horde of Chargin' Chucks.
Roy: This isn't right either! Start again!
Lakitu Cameraman: Forget it! It says in my contract, no more than three takes.
Roy: ... I hate contracts. Ow!
Mastadoom: So, are we actually ready to start now?
Buster Beetle: Duh! Start talking Dead Boy!
Mastadoom: Yes, I am dead, and proud of it. Ahem, welcome to Roy's Sports Hall. I am Mastadoom, your announcer and host tonight, and once again we are doomed to see one of Mario's enemies fall in battle. Ya know, if they weren't always fighting each other, maybe they'd have a chance against the Mario Br-
Buster Beetle: Get back on topic, you lousy excuse for a halfway-decent announcer!
Mastadoom: But I digress, as I knew I was doomed to do. Tonight I expect we are in for a wild fight. In the Red Corner, he's caused the doom of many a critter, it's the one-week Champion, Amazing Flying Hammer Brother!
Amazing: I won three times last week, and I'm eager for a repeat performance.
Mastadoom: In the Blue Corner, he's seven years closer to death, it's the Challenger, Blowhard!
Blowhard: Laugh while you can, for when it is all over it is I who will have the last laugh! Haha! HAHAHA!!! Yeah, and the first, too!
Mastadoom: Here with his prediction as to which fighter is doomed, as always, Larry Koopa. Larry?
Larry: Yes, well, I, er, made a prediction, but I, um, forgot.
Mastadoom: You forgot who you think will win?
Larry: Yeah.
Mastadoom: Well, why don't you just take a guess? You'll probably be just as doomed to guess wrong either way.
Larry: Nope, I refuse to take a random guess, not me, uh uh.
Mastadoom: ... Alright then, no prediction from Larry. Roy, how about telling us who the Tourist of the Week is?
Roy: X_X
Mastadoom: Or... maybe later.
Buster Beetle: Hey, how about we start the battle this century!
Mastadoom: Yes, your highness.
Buster Beetle: I told you, only call me that half the time! The other half, call me Buster Beetle! BUSTER BEETLE! HEAR ME NINTENDO!!!
Mastadoom: Please start the battle, Buster Beetle.
Buster Beetle: Well... since you asked so nicely... no!
Mastadoom: Oh Nintendo! Buster Beetle is doing a bad refereeing job!
Buster Beetle: Wait! No, I'll be good! Uh, uh, f-fighters ready?
Blowhard: Yeah!
Amazing: I was ready last week.
Buster Beetle: Then, um, er, what do I say?
Mastadoom: Go?
Buster Beetle: Right, that.
Fighters: ...
Buster Beetle: GO!
Blowhard: Right!
Amazing: Taste hammer!
Whish!
Blowhard: Lock on... and fire! BLOO!
Bonk! Slam!
Amazing: My... my face! Aah!
Mastadoom: We're off to a lively start... not that I know much about living. Amazing threw a hammer at Blowhard, who countered by spitting a ball at the hammer. The ball was moving so fast that it propelled the hammer back at Amazing, who was hit by it in the face.
Blowhard: I got this down! Lock on... and fire! BLOO!
Amazing: My face! Again!
Blowhard: Hahaha BLOO!
Amazing: My face!
Blowhard: BLOO!
Amazing: My face!
Blowhard: Um... oh yeah, BLOO!
Amazing: MY FACE!!! NOO!!!
SLAM!!!
Blowhard: Oh no!
Plop.
Mastadoom: After being hit in the face several times, Amazing angrily pounded the ground and inadvertently knocked out Blowhard in the process.
Blowhard: Ha! I'm up again!
Amazing: Oh no you don't!
SLAM!!!
Blowhard: Oh no!
Plop.
Amazing: Hammer Time!
Blowhard: Ow! Ooh! Whoa! Yeeouch! Ack! Oof! No! Hey! GLAK!!!
Mastadoom: By throwing a huge barrage of hammers, it seems that Amazing has knocked out Blowhard for good. Now we're just waiting for word from the ref.
Buster Beetle: Zzz...
Mastadoom: I said, WE'RE JUST WAITING FOR WORD FROM THE REF!!!
Buster Beetle: NINTENDO!!! Oh, uh, the Champion, what's-his-name, wins.
Amazing: I knew I'd win! Huh? Oh no! There's a scratch! On my beautiful face! Oh...
Amazing faints to the floor.
Mastadoom: Well, Amazing did manage to win, and he'll be back here next week. This is Mastadoom-
Buster Beetle: I'm Buster Beetle! BUSTER BEETLE!!!
Mastadoom: Yes, and we're signing off.
Roy (who is suddenly cured): Wait! Since Larry didn't guess right...
Larry's Clone (Tourist of the Week): BlagadiblagadiblagiadiAAG!!! End transmission!
The winner:
The loser:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
