The referee:

The announcer:

***

Pokey: Welcome to Roy's Boxing Arena. I'm your announcer,-

Audience: POKEY!!! POKEY!!! POKEY!!!

Pokey: Right. Tonight, in the Red Corner, the two-week Champion, Morton.

Morton: I'm ready to win, succeed, victor tonight, for then it will be my third week, thou shalt not count to four, nor shalt thou count to two, excepting that thou shall then proceed to three, and then I, Morton Koopa Jr., will announce the battles, the combats, the fights here in the ring, the arena, of Roy, my fine, fair brother, who seems to have many Boom Boom fans in attendance, so-

Pokey: Hush.

Morton: Oh, alright...

Pokey: In the Blue Corner, Bandit.

Bandit: No comment. I don't want to give away my strategy.

Morton: What strategy? You've been planning, conniving, forumlating a way to beat me, get the better of me, the upperhand, but it won't happen, not today, or tomorrow, or Monday, or even Tuesday, though you may have have a chance on Wednesday, but then on Thursday-

Pokey: Hush. Larry?

Roy: Forget Larry, Lemmy never gave me an envelope this week, so that makes Larry and his prediction useless.

Larry: Hey, I'm not quite useless you know!

Roy: Yes you are. Boom Booms? Kill him!

Larry: Aw poot.

Pokey: Amazing?

Amazing: Ok, now remember to make this interesting... I mean, fight fair! Alright? Now, fight!

Morton: Alright, it's time to pull out all the stops! Time to give it all I've got! I won't be defeated, no way, no how, I will win my third week and be champion, the best, number one, the-

Whish!

Morton: Huh? What was- HEY! SOMEONE STOLE MY BRACELET! The one on my arm, that my father, King Dad, Bowser, King of the Koopas, Lord of Dark Land gave to me when I was born, and that has secret information on the inside, like a special identifying code, that only a Koopa Kid, a son or daughter of Bowser, is supposed to know, so give it back, right now, or else I'll-

Whish!

Morton: Huh? What in the- HEY! SOMEONE'S STOLEN MY OTHER BRACELET! The one on my other arm, that my same father, still King Dad, and also Bowser, and King of the Koopas, also known as Lord of Dark Land gave to me when I was born, and that has other secret information on it, and anyone with both bracelets could disguise themselves as one of Bowser's own kids and no one would ever know, so I must get them back, right now, so who took them, show yourself, tell me who you are, NOW!

Bandit: Yeah, that would be me.

Morton: WHAT?! How could you, what were you thinking, didn't you know the penalty, the punishment for stealing one bracelet is instant death, execution, in the most painful way possible at the moment, the current time, and that stealing two bracelets means you must be killed twice, a second time, to make sure you are good and dead, yes very dead, and never able to steal a bracelet at a later time in the future?

Bandit: Guess that slipped my mind.

Morton: When I'm done with you, you won't have a mind, or even a head, no, you'll have no body parts left, unless you count all the ones strewn around the arena, the boxing ring, like your arm might be over here, and a leg might be over there, but enough talk about your body, for the honor, the pride of Koopas everywhere, I will take you down now, this instant, immediately! CHARGE!!!

Bandit: I'm so scared. Oh, woah is me! I seem to have left my foot right in your path!

Morton: YEARGH!!! No, you'll pay for this, I'll get you yet, for stealing, swiping my bracelets and tripping me, sending me flying into the audience, you'll die three times, that's one more than before, and you'll be sorry, you'll regret what you've done, for no one steals a Koopaling's bracelets and gets away with it, NO ONE, certainly not a lowly Bandit, the only things lowlier than Bandits are Goombas and Troopas and Bob-ombs and Pokeys and-

Audience: NO ONE INSULTS POKEY!!! GET HIM!!!

Morton: AHH! I'll get those bracelets, I promise, I swear it! AHH!!!

Amazing: Um... that was interesting. Since Morton's been chased out of the arena, I guess Bandit wins.

Bandit: Better than that, I've got the bracelets!

Pokey: Cool. So, that's all for Roy's Boxing Arena. Good night.

Roy: Heh heh heh... Yo Bandit, how much for them bracelets?

Bandit: ... Heh heh heh...

Roy: Hahaha!

Bandit: Woah hoho!

Roy: Bwahaha!

Bandit: YAHAHAHA!

Roy: Wooh hoo hoo, BWAHAHAHA, WOOH!!!

Bandit: Calm down, man, it's not that funny.

Roy: ...

The winner:

The loser:

Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.