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Bandit: Better than a flower any day. |
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|
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Roger the Potted Ghost: What a pushover! |
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Bandit: Better than a flower any day. |
|
|
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Roger the Potted Ghost: What a pushover! |
The referee:
The announcer:
***
Pokey: Welcome. Pokey here, two fighters there. In the Red Corner, Bandit.
Bandit: I'm ready for another easy victory... and a payoff too!
Pokey: In the Blue Corner, Roger the Potted Ghost.
Roger: Don't think you're gonna knock me over! My strengths are your weaknesses!
Pokey: Larry?
Larry: I'm going with Bandit this time around. Roger looks to have the strength advantage, but Bandit is so clever, I'm expecting to pull off something fancy.
Pokey: Roy?
Roy: Isn't it just so generous of Lemmy to actually give me an envelope this time? The winner is MaskedMan, whoever that is.
MaskedMan: I am MaskedMan. You cannot know who I am.
Roy: Hello?! You just said your name was MaskedMan.
MaskedMan: ... Oh... right.
Roy: Get on with it.
Pokey: Amazing?
Amazing: Finally, this is too exciting! Fight already!
Bandit: Swipe!
Disembodied Voice: But Roger had nothing to steal!
Bandit: Darn it.
Pokey: Bandit failed to steal.
Roger: Fireball! Phoo!
Bandit: Ack! ... Whew!
Pokey: Bandit dodged a fireball.
Roger: Fireball!
Bandit: Hey, why don't you come here and say that?
Roger: Interesting proposition. Oh, but something's missing!
Bandit: Yeah? What's that?
Roger: My Shy Guys, you idiot! I can't move.
Bandit: Oh... shoot. Um... any hints on how I can beat you, seeing as there are no holes to push you into, I can't trip you, and you're strong against physical attacks?
Roger: No, not really. I'd say you'll be toast in just a few minutes.
Bandit: I see. Well, in that case, I suppose you won't mind if I use this POLTERGUST 3000 I just happen to have!
Roger: No! Not the Poltergust 3000!
Professor E. Gadd: Hey! That's mine, whippersnapper!
Baby Bowser: Hey! The old man in the white coat is my victim!
Il Piantissimo: Hey! Which one of you barbaric heathens is going to show moi how to use this paintbrush I found?
Bandit: Silence! I've got some vacuuming to do!
Roger: That's not fair! I was told no foreign objects were allowed! Ref!
SHOOOOM!!!
Roger's HP: 100->87
Bandit: Haha, a little more...
Roger: Ref! REF!!!
Amazing: Sorry, this is too exciting to stop.
Roger: But-
SHOOOOM!!!
Roger's HP: 87->62
Bandit: Wooh, I'm on a roll!
Roger: It's a good thing I hid these two Shy Guys in my pot! Shy Guys, come out and do your stuff!
Shy Guy 1: Um, please stop vacuuming my boss.
Shy Guy 2: Yeah, what he said.
Shy Guy 1: Or else, um, we'll have to get rough with you.
Shy Guy 2: Right, rough.
Bandit: I'll take my chances.
SHOOOOM!!!
Roger's HP: 62->47
Roger: Stop him! Fireball! Phoo!
Shy Guy 2: YEOW!!!
Roger: Uh... I guess I should practice my aim.
Shy Guy 1: Don't worry, he was the stupid one anyway.
Bandit: What a nice conversation, I wouldn't want to interrupt it
SHOOOOM!!!
Roger's HP: 47->24
Roger: DO SOMETHING!!! Fireball! Phoo! Phoo! Phoo!
Bandit: Ha, ho- ouch! Oh, you're gonna pay for that, pal.
SHOOOOM!!!
Roger's HP: 24->1
Roger: NOOO!!! This isn't fair! I don't want to go this way!
Bandit: Too bad, so sad.
SHoooooo...
Bandit: What the?!
Shy Guy: Um, I think this won't work without the batteries...
Roger: Alright Shy Guy! You'll get a promotion for this!
Bandit: Why you little... give me those batteries!
Shy Guy: Sorry, I, um, ate them.
Roger: And a raise!
Bandit: Grr...
Roger: So what do you say now?! Give up?
Shy Guy: Yeah, um, you should give up.
Bandit: No! I still have one chance! Take THIS!
Audience: *gasp*
Pokey: Bandit threw the Poltergust at Roger.
spzzzSHO!
Roger's HP: 1->0
Roger: NOOOOOoo...
Pop! Sss...
Bandit: Hahaha!
Shy Guy: Um... you won't hurt me, will you?
Bandit: Of course not. I'll cream you in the ring next week!
Shy Guy: Oh no! Save me!
Roy: Hey! Who gave you permission to select your oponent?!
Bandit: Well, I could release Roger and make him haunt you forever...
Roy: I mean, uh, Shy Guy was gonna fight next week anyway! Yeah...
Bandit: Right, that's what I thought.
Pokey: Good ni-
Roy: Hey, I want to zap someone! Since I can't zap MaskedMan, I think I'll zap that stupid Shy Guy instead!
Shy Guy: I'm, um, not in a seat.
Shy Guy is struck by a bolt of lightning.
Shy Guy: BlagadiblagadiblagadiAAG! Um, end transmission, I guess.
The winner:
The loser:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
