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Bandit: Get him and Roger out of here! |
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|
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Shy Guy: I wouldn't usually support him, but I'll make an exception... |
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Bandit: Get him and Roger out of here! |
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Shy Guy: I wouldn't usually support him, but I'll make an exception... |
The referee:
The announcer:
***
Roy: Welcome to my Sports Hall! This time around I thought I'd do things a little differently, so I'll be doing the announcing and I'll be doing the commentary. So there! Also, there's no audience, just me and the two fighters.
Crook: And me.
Tweeter: Me too.
Shy Guy: Um, what's with the new style this week?
Roy: Shut up, I got bored! Now, where was I?
Bandit: You were going to explain why these other two guys are here.
Roy: No I wasn't! But fine, I'll do it anyway... after introducing the fighters, that is. In the Blue Corner, you know him from Super Mario 2 and a whole bunch of other games, not to mention the first season of the Sports Hall, he's the Challenger, Shy Guy!
Shy Guy: Um... hi. ... Oh, wait, there's no one to talk to.
Bandit: Don't worry, we're required to give our little catchphrase.
Shy Guy: Oh... uh, ok.
Roy: But watch out, because in the Red Corner is the two-week Champion! From Yoshi's Island and Paper Mario, it's Bandit!
Bandit: Don't blink! ... Or actually, go ahead.
Roy: Now, I have allowed each of the fighters to bring one person of their choice along to root for them, throw stuff at their opponent, pay me money, whatever they want. So now, let's who you each brought, starting with the Champion. Bandit! Who'd ya bring?
Bandit: I brought my partner in crime, Crook.
Roy: Shy Guy! What's the deal with you?
Shy Guy: Um, I brought my only friend... Tweeter.
Roy: Touching. Now, these two characters think they're here just to watch the battle... but they're not!
Tweeter: Wait... we're not?
Roy: Nope! Because if your friend loses, you get to go to the lava pits! Hahaha!
Tweeter: Oh no!
Crook: Heh heh heh... I'm safe.
Roy: Not so fast, criminal. If your friend wins, you'll be in the ring next week!
Crook: Big deal. I can beat Bandit, no problem.
Roy: But if Bandit wins, he's done. So you'll have to fight... Zeus Guy.
Crook: No way! Thanks a lot for inviting me, Bandit!
Bandit: This isn't fair, Roy!
Roy: I'll decide what's fair! Now, unless there are any more objections...
Shy Guy: Um?
Roy: What?
Shy Guy: Uh?
Roy: What?!
Shy Guy: Is there any way to exempt our friend?
Roy: Ooh, let me think. NO!
Shy Guy: Oh...
Roy: I'm sick of this. Fight, NOW!
Crook: Come on Bandit! You can do it!
Tweeter: Good luck... I guess.
Roy: Bandit approaches Shy Guy...
Bandit: You don't have anything to steal, so I'll just toss you out of the ring.
Shy Guy: I'll use my powerful... um... Bump move?
Bandit: Sure, if I was a Goomba, maybe.
Shy Guy: Oh... ah... ah... ahCHOO!!!
Bandit: Blagadiblag!!!
Roy: Woah! Shy Guy sneezed and sparks flew out of his mouth!
Tweeter: Yay.
Crook: If you die I'll kill you!
Shy Guy: Um... excuse me.
Bandit: What... did you do?!
Shy Guy: I've, um, been sneezing weirdly ever since I ate those batteries...
Bandit: Oh great, then-
Shy Guy: AhCHOO!!!
Bandit: Blagadiblag!!! Then I'll have to use THIS!
Crook: There we go!
Shy Guy: Um...
Tweeter faints.
Roy: Bandit's got the Poltergust 3000!
Bandit: I found a new battery, and now I'm gonna clean up!
Shy Guy: Um... I'm not quite dead yet.
Bandit: What?
Shy Guy: I'm not quite dead. I'm, um, not a ghost.
Bandit: I know that, you idiot! But you're still small enough to fit in the nozzle, so...
SHOOOOM!!!
Shy Guy: Oh no!
Tweeter: What? ... Uh oh...
Crook: Come on, you've got him!
SHOOOOM!!!
Shy Guy: Noo!
Bandit: Heh heh ha!
SHoooooo...
Bandit: What?! Not again!
Roy: Looks like Bandit's plan didn't work. Haha!
Shy Guy: I'm saved!
Tweeter: Me too!
Bandit: What's wrong with this thing?!
Shy Guy: Um... did you put in one battery or two?
Bandit: One, of course. There's only one slot.
Shy Guy: On each side...
Bandit: ... Oh well.
SMACK!!!
Shy Guy: WOAH!!! ... *ding*
Bandit: Who needs batteries?
Roy: Bandit has knocked Shy Guy out of the stadium by throwing the vacuum at him. Bandit wins!
Bandit: What, are you surprised?
Crook: Wait a minute! Now that means I have to fight Zeus Guy! That might be worse than death!
Roy: Well by next week Tweeter will be able to help you figure that one out, because now it's time for Tweeter to go to the lava pits.
Tweeter: I'd really rather not.
Roy: Like I care! GUARDS!!!
Two huge Sledge Brothers appear and escort Tweeter to the lava pits.
Tweeter: Wait! No! I'm too young to die!
Sledge Brother: How old are you, anyway?
Tweeter: Um... four. Yeah, that's it.
Sledge Brother 2: Lava pits.
Tweeter: Help me!
Roy: Ah shaddap! For the four of us left here in the stadium, I'm Roy Koopa. See ya next week, or else!
The winner:
The loser:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
