Gourmet Guy vs Piranha Plant vs Goomba

Little Lemmy's Land Qualifier

The Boxing Match-up
Round Two
The Red Corner

Gourmet Guy: He has a knife, but... it doesn't look very sharp...

The Green Corner

Wart: Not many can fight Bowser and say they just barely lost. Can Wart snatch victory from defeat?

The Yellow Corner

Piranha Plant: Those teeth are pretty pointy, but who would be stupid enough to get that close?

The Blue Corner

Goomba: Hm... I don't know what chance this guy thinks he has. Fan support, I guess.

The announcer:

Kamek

The referee:

Pokey

***

Kamek: Welcome, again, welcome! To Roy's Sports Hall, of course! Here we are today for yet another three fighter free-for-all!

Roy: And with our top of the line Sports Hall, no less!

Pokey: Hi.

Kamek: Oh yes, and we have Pokey here. Do you think we'll have a surprise this time, Pokey?

Pokey: Dunno.

Kamek: Love the one word answers.

Pokey: Good.

Kamek: Just... shut up. Anyway, let me introduce the fighters for today! In the Red Corner, it's the fatty boy, Gourmet Guy! Lay off the sweets, will you?

Gourmet Guy: I'm not fat... uh... food.

Kamek: In the Yellow Corner, it's the immobile, and probably retarded, Piranha Plant!

Piranha Plant: Chomp chomp! Retarded?! Take that back! Go Flower Power!

Kamek: And in the Blue Corner, it's Goomba. And his name is enough of an insult.

Goomba: RESPECT!!!

Roy: Your introductions are a bit... harsher than usual. GREAT JOB MAN!

Kamek: Um... yeah. Oh, here's Larry!

Larry: PIRANHA PLANT!!! GO PLANTS!!!

Roy: Geez man, quiet down if you don't want me to sock you!

Larry: Eep.

Roy: On second thought...

SOCK!!!

Larry: AAAGH!!! Whimper.

Roy: Hahaha! I needed that. Anyway, start the fight, will you Pokester.

Pokey: Fight.

Piranha Plant: I wish I could move to attack them.

Gourmet Guy: Foooood.

Goomba: Time to gain some RESPECT!!! Hiiyyaaa!

Boing!

Kamek: Goomba attacked Gourmet Guy headfirst, only to be repelled by Gourmet Guy's fat lard.

Goomba: That's it! Time for... THROW OF RESPECT!!!

Kamek: Does it always have to be respect? You'll never get any- OH! Goomba is lifting Gourmet Guy with his
psychic powers! And has lobbed him at Piranha Plant!

Piranha Plant: Whoa!

WHAM!

Kamek: But Piranha Plant has retreated to the safety of its pipe and Gourmet Guy has fallen harmlessly on the pipe!

Gourmet: Um... food?

CHOMP!

Gourmet Guy: AAHHH! MY BUTT!

Kamek: Piranha Plant has apparently bit him!

Gourmet Guy: GRAAA!!!

Goomba: Oh wait! Don't come here! Not here! AAHH!!!

 Kamek: Gourmet Guy is chasing after Goomba!

Goomba: AAAHHH!!! Yoink!

Kamek: Goomba has taken refuge inside the pipe! Bad move!

Piranha Plant: What the... HEY! GET OUT!

Gourmet Guy: Hello?

Kamek: Gourmet Guy is sticking his fork inside the pipe!

Goomba: YEOUCH! CUT THAT OUT!

Piranha Plant: CHOMP!

Goomba: YEOOUCH!!! Hey! I'm stuck here! Somebody help me here! Psychic... BLAST!

SHooooMBOOM!!!

Gourmet Guy: GIAAAHH!!!

WHAM!!!

Kamek: Goomba has released a psychic blast and has made Gourmet Guy hit the wall!

Roy: Whoa! Those walls are resistant!

Gourmet Guy: GRRR!!! FOOOD!!!

WHAM!!!

Kamek: Gourmet Guy has crashed against the pipe!

Gourmet: GRRRAAAGH!

Kamek: Gourmet Guy is trying to uproot the pipe!

Piranha Plant: Get out! I can't breath! CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP!

Goomba: OOWWW! STOP IT! I CAN'T GET OUT!

Gourmet Guy: RARARARR!!

Piranha Plant: WHAT THE?! Don't uproot the pipe!

Gourmet Guy: I see you... food!

Piranha Plant: Piranha THRUST!

FWAAM!

Goomba: WHOA!

Kamek: Piranha Plant has managed to make Goomba come out!

Goomba: Oh man... Too much... chompiness.

Gourmet Guy: GRRRR!!!

Goomba: OH NO! THINK THINK! Oh, I know! Psychic Cake!

Vwoom!

Kamek: Suddenly, a huge cake has appeared!

Gourmet Guy: CAAAAKKEE!!!

Kamek: The cake is running around the battlefield!

Gourmet Guy: Come back cake!

Goomba: WAIT NO-

TRAMPLE!

Kamek: OH! Gourmet Guy has flattened Goomba!

Pokey: Goomba, down.

Kamek: And the cake is running out the door!

Gourmet: CAAAAaaaakkee!

Pokey: Gourmet Guy ran.

Kamek: It was obviously an illusion by Goomba!

Pokey: Winner, Piranha Plant.

Kamek: Win by default!

Piranha Plant: Woo! Lucky!

Larry: Yesss!

SOCK!

Larry: ARH!!! Why did you do that?!

Roy: No reason.

Larry: ARGH!

The winner:

The loser:

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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can also go back to Lemmy's Land.