|
Goonie: He's not really good at anything, so... Maybe others won't have a plan for him? |
Bandit: I wrote down something to say about him, but he stole that paper, so no intro for him. |
|
Elder Princess Shroob: She'd be the strongest in just about any group. In this battle? That's no contest. |
Goomba: Um... Some Goombas can read... I guess. They can die real fast, too. That's it. |
The announcer:
The referee:
***
Roy: Zzz… Mumble mumble… Zzz…
Larry: Wow, that sleep spell works really well.
Kamek: Hehehe. Well I hate to brag, but I AM a genius.
Larry: Well it’s a shame you’re using it for lame things like announcing at the Sports Hall.
Kamek: What?
Larry: Nothing. He’s sleeping like a baby, isn’t he?
Roy: Zzz… Mumble… Mumble… Zzz… Murder… Zzz… Murder Kamek… Mumble…
Kamek: He is! Well we’d better get this started before he wakes up! Welcome to Kamek’s Sports Hall!
Larry: Wow, gutsy.
Roy: … Zzzz… Mumble… Maim torture kill… Mumble mumble…
Kamek: In the Red Corner, it’s your everyday harmless bird, Goonie!
Goonie: Caw!
Kamek: In the Green Corner, it’s your everyday harmless thief, Bandit! … Who seems to currently be stealing Roy’s wallet.
Bandit: Hehehe… Like taking candy from a baby!
Kamek: In the Blue Corner, it’s your everyday harmless Goomba, Goomba!
Goomba: Hey guys.
Kamek: And in the Yellow Corner it’s your not-so-harmless gigantic royal tentacle monster, Elder Princess Shroob!
Elder Princess Shroob: This is ridiculous! I could destroy all these insects in a single breath!
Kamek: So Larry, you want to ref again?
Larry: Nah, me and Pokey are buddies. I would like to predict again, though…
General Guy: Well it’s too bad for you that-
Kamek: Slumber!
General Guy: Well this is just… Zzz…
Kamek: There, now you can predict.
Larry: Glee hee hee hee! … Elder Princess Shroob! Hmm… Ok, maybe this wasn’t the most even battle to make my predictive return.
Kamek: Welp, take it, Pokey.
Pokey: Fight.
DING DING D–
Pokey: Ring out. EPS out.
All: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
Pokey: Elder Princess Shroob’s tentacle touched outside the ring.
Kamek: Amazing! Looks like EPS didn’t learn from history and got another ring out! What a pathetic way to go!
EPS: I quit!
Larry: Man, no fair! Why do even my surefire predictions come out wrong?!
Bandit: Hehehe! With EPS gone I just have to worry about Goonie! This cash reward is all mine!
Goonie: Caw caw caw!
Bandit: Hehehe… Yes… My plan is flawless… Huh?
WHAM!
Bandit: AUGH!
Kamek: Goonie dropped a boulder on Bandit while he was distracted!
Bandit: Oww… I think I broke my… clavicus.
Goonie: Caw caw!
Bandit: Grr… That’s enough out of you! Bob-omb Toss!
BOOM!
Goonie: Caw Caw CAW!
Kamek: Goonie dodged the Bob-omb with fancy air moves!
Bandit: Oh that’s it! Come on and fight like a man!
Goonie: CAAAWWW!!!
Kamek: Bandit jumped up onto the boulder and Goonie is rushing into him!
Bandit: Ha, no!
Goonie: Caw?
Kamek: But Bandit jumped at the last second and landed on top of Goonie!
Bandit: Ehehe! Excellent! I’ve got you where I want! Die! Die! Die!
Goonie: Caw! Caw! Caw!
Kamek: Bandit is stomping on Goonie’s head!
Bandit: Hahaha! Yeah! Whatcha gonna do about it?!
Goonie: Caw!
Bandit: Woah!
WHAM!
Kamek: Goonie did a barrel roll and dropped Bandit!
Bandit: Oh right, that. Well no matter! Now that you’re hurt you won’t be able to dodge as well! It’s time for my secret weapon! I was saving this for EPS, but since she’s not here anymore, you’ll just have to take it in her place! Say hi to my MEGABOB-OMB!
Kamek: Bandit took out a huge Bob-omb!
Goonie: Caw!
Kamek: But Goonie took one out as well!
Bandit: EAT IT! YAAAAAAHHH!
Goonie: Caw caw! CAAAAAAAWWWW!
SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Bandit: WHAAAAGHHH NOOOOOOooooooo…
Goonie: CAAWW CAAAAAAaaaaaawwww…
Kamek: They threw their bombs at the same time and the explosion was so huge that they were both sent flying away! It looks like a tie!
Pokey: Winner, Goomba.
Kamek: Huh?! Oh right! I didn’t even remember Goomba was fighting. Where were you hiding all this time?!
Goomba: Oh, I was just standing here in my corner watching.
Kamek: Well that’s the pansiest win I’ve ever seen! Goomba just won by not doing anything!
Roy: … Zzzz…
Larry: He’s still asleep?
Kamek: Hmm… Guess I made it too powerful this time.
Larry: Woohoo! No shocking this week! End Transmission!
The winner:
The losers:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
