Above Noki Bay...

Shady: -HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Author: Read PARATROOPA interviews PETEY PIRANHA. Yes, this is subliminal advertising. Ha ha ha! Evil.

Noki Bay...

Noki: Nice day we're having, isn't it sonny?

Fat Toad: Sure is.

Shady: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Someone fat get in my way!!!

Noki: Did you hear something?

Fat Toad: No.

(Shady lands on the Noki and keeps on going through the floor until they land in the Bay. The fat Toad loses his balance and falls off and onto a bounce pad, sending him flying in to the air.)

Fat Toad: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Shady: No... mo...re... scre...am...ing... plea...se...

(Shady wakes up three hours later.)

Shady: Where am I?

Noki: In Noki Bay, and thank you for rearranging my back when you landed on me. You're Shady Parakoopa, right?

Shady: Yeah, you a fan?

Noki: No way! This letter's for you.

Dear Shady Parakoopa,

Nice try with the suicide attempt but no one escapes Lemmy and the secret military site Lemmy's Land! I still expect Interviews.

Sincerely,
Lemmy Koopa

Shady: Dang, it didn't work. Hey Noki, want to be interviewed? Then become my new Interview partner?

Noki: What happened to the old one?

Shady: When I find him he's dead!

Boo: Hello.

Shady: My work's done! I dub you Camera Boo #2. Your first job is to find Camera Boo #1, a camera, and an audience.

Boo: I'm just some random Boo, that Boo over there is Paratroopa.

Shady: His name is Camera Boo #2!

Camera Boo #2: Whatever.

...

Shady: Hello, my waterlogged brothers and sisters, to another ok interview to fill you in 'til a Dark Koopa Interview!

Audience: Stop kidnapping us!

Shady: SILENCE! Today I interview this random Noki.

Noki: I'm the Noki's leader!

Shady: Any questions for me before we start?

Only Fan: Why don't you do the tennis ball thing anymore?

Shady: You know, I forgot all about that. I guess I'll stop hurting you guys.

Audience: Yay!

Shady: And go back to mass murdering! (summoning Blaze) Yeeeeeehhhaaaaaaaa!

Blaze: Happy!

Audience: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Shady: NO MORE SCREAMING! Fine, I'll kill you all after the Interview, crybabies.

Noki: This show is too crazy for an old guy like me.

Shady: How old are you?

Noki: As old as time itself, 95 years.

Shady: Ok then, let's start. First question, are Nokis just Koopas with different shaped shells?

Noki: That's correct, we were the first to run away from the Koopa army. We changed our shells to confuse Bowser.

Bowser: Have you seen an old green Koopa? A long time ago he stole a stamp collection from me.

Noki: He went that way, Doc.

Bowser: Thanks!

{Bowser runs into a Blooper, which swallows him whole.}

Noki: Ha!

Shady: You could've just put on a hat to confuse him. Next question, can you breathe underwater, and if yes, then how?

Noki: Yes, these shells contain a breathing device made by E. Gadd. Just breathe air and the shells recharge.

Blaze: Can you fly?

Noki: Simple fellow, isn't he? No we can't fly, it seems that you have to be born in the Koopa army to have wings, or your parents have to.

Shady: In Mario Sunshine when Mario sprayed you with water why did you go into your shell?

Noki: That whippersnapper sprayed us with freezing cold water!

Luigi: It can't be that cold.

Mario: CHEESE!

(Mario sprays Luigi, turning him into solid ice, which Mario licks and gets stuck to his tongue.)

Shady: I wish he hadn't survived the fall.

Yellow: (mumbles to self) I wish I hadn't.

Shady: SILENCE! (looking at his watch) Looks like it's that time again. Blaze, get ready.

(Blaze's black eyes turn fiery red.)

Shady: Ok, so where do Nokis live?

Noki: You know the place Gooper Blooper was guarding in Noki Bay? In there are homes and shops and illegal Goomba knife fights hidden behind a wall.

Random Goomba: I cut you sooo bad, I cut you so bad. You... You... You'll wish I didn't cut you so bad!

Shady: ...

(Hammer Bro. pops up out of the water.)

Hammer Bro: Die!

Shady: Look behind you.

Hammer Bro: What?

(He stupidly turns around and comes face to face with Blaze, who breathes fire on him, turning him to ash.)

Hammer Bro's Ashes: Ow.

Shady: I wish you'd stop butting in on these Interviews.

Hammer Bro's Ashes: I wish Lemmy would stop paying me to butt into these Interviews.

(The ashes blow away.)

Shady: ... Audience time!

Blaze: Seat 52.

Toad: Why is Blaze talking more than usual?

Shady: It has to be a question for the interviewee!

Toad: You will reveal stuff about Blaze if it's the last thing I do! Oh, and why did you play in Mario Baseball?

Noki: Well I didn't play but my grandkids were bored so I asked Mario if they could play.

Shady: And?

Noki: He said no until I showed him the C word.

Blaze: Cash?

Noki: No, cheese.

Mario: KEEEEEEEEEEEEEYSS!

Shady: Seat 28,964, ask a question!

Yellow: What?!

Shady: I SAID ASK A QUESTION!!

Yellow: Key! Can you do a Shell Shot with those shells?

Noki: Yes! It goes even further! Watch!

(He Shell Shoots Yellow, then returns.)

Noki: Great, now my back's out again.

Shady: One last question, seat 375!

Noki: I think that was Luigi's seat.

Shady: Um, seat 378?

Bowser: I have conquered an amphibious beast! Also, ever thought of returning to my army?

Noki: No, we've discovered peace, knowledge, and the joy of two Goombas fighting each other for our amusement.

Shady: Thanks for being here. You can say the closing phrase if you want.

Noki: K, but I wonder what ever happened to Fat Toad.

...

Shadow Mario: I can't believe I killed the author.

Bowser Jr: I can.

Koopa: Captain!

Shadow Mario: What?

Koopa: Our resources say that Shady's alive!

Resources: Yup.

Koopa: I've located them in Noki Bay.

Shadow Mario: That's below us! Dive!

Koopa: Also it appears that he's firing fat people at us.

Shadow Mario: What?!

Fat Toad: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Shady: NO MORE SCREAMING!

Fat Toad: Ahhhhhhhh.

(He goes straight through the ship's hull.)

Shadow Mario: Abandon flying ship!!!

...

Shady: I'm sure he's fine. Lets turn off the camera so Lemmy won't see us use Blaze to kill everyone.

Audience: Nuts.

Shady: So if anyone survives we'll see you next time on...

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Shady: Nuts.

Noki: LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

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