Ben: Hello everybody, and welcome to Ben's-

(Ben notices Lemmy offstage.)

Ben: ...Uh... I mean, LEMMY'S INTERVIEWS... (does the fingers to imply qouation marks)

Lemmy: Hey!

Ben: And today I'm going to interview Peach!

(One third of the audience boos while the other two thirds appluads as Peach comes out from backstage.)

Ludwig: IT'S PEACH! GET HER, SIBLINGS!

(Ludwig and all of his siblings, except Lemmy, Wendy, and Iggy [i.e., Ludwig, Roy, Larry, and Morton], leap at Peach.)

Ben: (waving finger around like fussy school teacher) I don't think so!

(Ben takes out a remote control and presses a button. Out of nowhere, a wrecking ball crashes through the wall and slams into the Koopa Kids, knocking them through the back wall. Lemmy looks on in amusement and amazement.)

Ben: Try that again and you'll pay double-time! That's goes for EVERYBODY! (calms down after a minute or so) All right, let's get on with the Interview!

Peach: (cleary nervous) All right...

Ben: I go off like a bomb and everyone scared of me. Sheesh! Okay, how does it feel to be royalty?

Peach: Great, and not-so-great.

Ben: In what ways? As in the pros and cons.

Peach: Well for the pros, I get servants, a nice home, Oylmpic-sized swimming pools inside AND outside which I get to swim in whenever I want-

Lemmy: HEY! We only have the indoor pool that Wendy has and she doesn't let anyone use it!

Ben: Well that tough beans for you! I don't get any of that stuff she has or you have so you should be thankful you have what you have!!

(Lemmy gulps and quiets down as the whole auidence gets chills down their spines for the second time.)

Ben: (calms down again) I swear I'm a walking, talking time bomb that's ready to explode at any second, even with anger management... now, um....please go on... so we can get out of here. I don't want to scare the auidence anymore than they already are.

Peach: (visibly scared) W-w-well the cons are that I g-get captured almost all the time... almost n-no privacy... and-

Morton: (who somehow got back) WEDDING CAKE!!!

Ben: Ah no, not this again.

Morton: Wedding cake, how I love thee! Wedding cake, wedding cake, WEDDING CAKE!!!

Ben: Um... excuse me...

Morton: (in an extremely deep voice, like a belch) WEDDING CAKE!!!

Ben: Ah, man, that's disgusting.

(Morton starts to belch wedding cake to the tune of Jingle Bells as Ben gets more visibly angry. The whole auidence visibly tenses up.)

Ben: (can't stand it anymore) MORTON KOOPA JR.!!!

(Morton stops belching and stares at an extremelly annoyed Ben.)

Ben: (slowly) GET... UP… HERE...

(Morton fidgets.)

Ben: NOW!!!

(Morton is up there in a flash.)

Ben: IF... YOU... SAY... THAT... ONE... MORE... TIME...

Morton: W-w-w-what? W-w-wedding c-c-c-cake....??

(Ben roars so loudly it's like an explosion. Ben jumps on Morton and beats him to a pulp. Morton tries to hide in his shell but it is futile as Ben punches, kicks and litteraly cracks the shell. Ben suddenly stops and Morton just sits there, eyes closed.)

Morton: (shaking) Urg... Mommy, is the earthquake over?

(Morton opens his eyes to see Ben standing before him. In slow motion, Ben rears back and then comes forward with a powerful uppercut. As Ben connects normal speed resumes, and Morton goes flying through the roof and out of Dark Land. Morton was last seen on MASA's (Mushroom Air and Space Association) radar as a tiny blip leaving the planet.)

Ben: Well... that's the end of him. (suddenly snaps back) Um...

(Everybody is now shaking uncontrollably.)

Ben: Um... What did I just do? (remembers) Oh... yeah... (starts shaking uncontrollably himself) Jeez...well... I'm afraid to continue this Interview so... (speaks very quickly) you can go, goodbye and have a nice day!

(Ben runs out as if he were fleeing. A lot of people are confused by his behavior, but they all quickly and quite loudly get out, in the same manner Ben did.)

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