(Warning: If you didn’t read the Mario timeline of Morton’s bios, do so before reading this Interview.)

 
Thumbs: Everything ready?

Larry: Yep.

Thumbs: Hey, that’s a nice new camera, Larry.

Larry: Yeah, it comes with everything you’d ever need.

Thumbs: That must have cost your whole allowance for a month.

Larry: Oh, it’s not my allowance.

Thumbs: Should have known. Anyway, welcome to my second Interview. This time I’m interviewing… Bowser!

Lemmy: No, you’re not.

Thumbs: Why not?

Lemmy: He’s off trying to capture the princess again.

Thumbs: Again? Oh well. Next on my list is… Wario!

Lemmy: Nope, he’s at a buffet.

Thumbs: He shouldn’t be too long, then.

Lemmy: It’s an all-you-can eat buffet.

Thumbs: *sigh* Okay, the next on my list is… Bowser Jr!

Audience: BOOOO!

Thumbs: Hey, I know you hate him, but bear with me. So where is he?

Larry: Ludwig’s busy in his lab.

Thumbs: Not the adult Jr., the young one!

Larry: You’d need a time machine for that.

Thumbs: Nothing is working for me today. Hey, Mario!

Mario: It’s-a me, Mario!

Thumbs: Yeah, that’s nice; do you still have that time machine you used in Mario’s Time Machine?

Mario: Actually, there’s a long story that goes with that…

Several hours pass...

Mario: And that’s what happened to my time machine.

Thumbs: That was beautiful, Mario, *sniffle* but we still need a time machine.

Larry: Hey Wendy, don’t you have a time machine?

Wendy: I did, but it’s in Sub-con right now.

Thumbs: I just can’t get a break today, can I? Why is it in Sub-con?

(Several more hours pass...

Wendy: And that’s why it’s in Sub-con.

Iggy: That was beautiful, Wendy.

Thumbs: I liked Mario’s story better. I guess I’m gonna have to call in a favor.

(Thumbs whips out a cell phone.)

Thumbs: Hey, E. Gadd, Thumbs here. Yes… no, don’t call me Miles… anyway, how fast can you make a time machine and get it here? Uh huh, three hours, ok, thanks. *hangs up*

Larry: You mean we’re stuck here for three more hours?

Thumbs: Good thing I brought this crossword puzzle.

Three hours later...

Thumbs: Hmm, a six-letter word for a cloud dweller.

The King: Shy Guy!

Thumbs: You have said that the answer was Shy Guy for EVERY SINGLE QUESTION SO FAR!!!

The King: Well, it has to be somewhere...

Thumbs: Whatever. Next, a six-letter word for a masked robe wearer.

(Just then, E. Gadd breaks in through the ceiling with a time machine.)

Thumbs: Just in time, thanks.

Iggy: How’d you make one so fast?

E. Gadd: Well, if you don’t want it…

Thumbs: NO!!! I mean, we’ll take it, thanks. Now, if we twist this knob and push in this button order… there!

(In a brilliant flash of light, Bowser Jr. appears.)

Audience: BOOOOOOO!

Luigi: Boo?! Where?!

Thumbs: Well, we finally have an interviewee, so if you don’t like it you can just leave.

(The entire audience gets up and walks toward the door, only to be met by Roy.)

Roy: Of course, you won’t be able to get out the door.

(The audience regretfully goes back to their seat. Some audience members start to cry.)

Thumbs: Finally, we’re underway. So, Jr., why are you so widely hated?

Bowser Jr: Beats me, I guess it’s because people think I’m Bowser’s 8th kid and Nintendo has replaced me for the Koopalings.

Thumbs: That would be a pretty good reason. So, if E. Gadd is a good guy, why did you have one of his inventions?

Bowser Jr: You mean the funny old man in the lab coat? Well, he was tracking down ghosts, and stumbled across the Boo division of our army. Like an idiot, he tried to suck them all into a vacuum thingy, but he was quickly outnumbered. Since I was bored, and I hate the Boos…

(King Boo in the audience sticks his tongue out at Jr., who returns the favor.)

Bowser Jr: …I saved him, and he gave me the paintbrush as a thank you present.

Thumbs: I see. That’s pretty neat. Now, I don’t understand why your hair is yellow and in the future it’s blue.

Bowser Jr: My hair’s blue in the future?

E. Gadd: NO! You’re not supposed to say anything about his future, lest you mess up the space time continuum.

Thumbs: Really? Hmm. Okay, forget I said anything about the future.

Bowser Jr: Umm, ok.

Thumbs: So, anyway- uh- was your hair always orange?

Bowser Jr: Why is it any of your business, anyway?

Thumbs: Look, this is an Interview. I need to get answers, and if I don’t, I can’t post this thing in Lemmy’s Land.

Bowser Jr: In what?

Thumbs: ARGHHHH! You’re worse that Mario! Answer the questions or I’ll tell your dad!

Bowser Jr: Okay, okay. No, it wasn’t always orange. I made Kamek change me magically so I look just like Papa. He said it was only temp- uh, temper-

Thumbs: Temporary?

Bowser Jr: Yeah, that’s it!

Roy: Man, this is taking forever.

Thumbs: Any questions? Yes, the Piranha Plant covered in slime.

Piranha Plant: So, why did you attack Mario and Peach instead of taking over the Mushroom Kingdom?

Bowser Jr: I didn’t want to take over a kingdom, I just wanted to get back Peach and make Mario pay.

Thumbs: Anyone else with a ridiculous, yet much needed question? Yes, the Cheep Cheep in seat 490.

Cheep Cheep: How can you transform into Shadow Mario?

Bowser Jr: That’s an easy one. It all has to do with my magic bib.

Larry: Did he say “magic bib”?

Bowser Jr: That’s right. I have a magic bib, I can change my image depending on the picture. When it’s a picture of a dark blue nose and mustache, I can become Shadow Mario. When I have a picture of glasses, I can become a Lakitu. My neutral image has this bib, with a picture of a mouth with fangs.

Thumbs: That’s cool, can you show us?

Bowser Jr: Sure.

(Bowser Jr. puts on the Shadow Mario mask, and turns into Shadow Mario.)

Shadow Mario: And it’s that easy.

Mario: AHHHH! Shadow Mario!

(Mario takes out FLUDD and squirts him back into Bowser Jr.)

Bowser Jr: WAHHH! You’re mean, Mario! Guards! Take him away.

Thumbs: Hey, I say that. Guards! Take him away.

(Guards carry Mario away kicking and screaming.)

Thumbs: Okay. It’s time to get you back to your own time period.

Bowser Jr: Okay. Bye bye everyone.

(Bowser Jr. enters the time machine and disappears. Ludwig walks in.)

Thumbs: That’s about it here- hey Ludwig, I thought you had to work in your lab today.

Ludwig: I was. But then I stepped out to get some chocolate, and when I returned… my time machine was gone!

E. Gadd: Well… Look at the time! I’d better get going.

Ludwig: Hey! That’s my time machine! How’d you… GADD!

Thumbs: Let us close the curtain of charity on this scene.

Larry: We don’t have a curtain.

Thumbs: I was quoting Mark Twain… never mind, just end it already!

(One of the fireballs Ludwig fires misses E. Gadd and hits the camera. )

Larry: NOOO! MY CAMERA!

Thumbs: Well, I’m getting out of here. See ya later!

END TRANSMISSION

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