Dark Koopa: Hey hey now� The suffering isn�t over yet. The Interview needs to start first.

Silence.

Dark Koopa: So anyway, you may wonder who Rhonda and Coda are.

Lemmy: Are you talking to anybody?

Dark Koopa: Yes, the readers.

(Angelic music plays.)

Lemmy: Ha! You think people actually read your stuff?

Dark Koopa: Yes� Hey, stop laughing!

Lemmy: No.

Dark Koopa: Then can I at least finish while you�re laughing?

Lemmy: Go ahead.

Dark Koopa: You see, Rhonda is Pura�s mother and some insane witch or something. We had her on the
show because Pura would have hit me if we didn�t. As for Coda, he was Metal�s roommate, so he was easy to
find. Too bad he�s not a Rex anymore. For that matter, Metal�s not a Yoshi anymore.

Lemmy: You know, there�s a Bio section for a reason.

Dark Koopa: But I�m too lazy.

Lemmy: Not only are you lazy, you�re fat.

Dark Koopa: Am not. Now make me a sandwich.

Lemmy: That sounds familiar�

Flashback�

Susan: Hello.

Dark Koopa: Shut up and make me a sandwich.

***

Thumbs: Yes?

Dark Koopa: Make me a sandwich.

***

Dark Koopa: Make me TWO sandwiches.

Pura: No.

***

Dark Koopa: Make me a sandwich.

Lemmy: No, you make ME a sandwich.

***

Lemmy: Must be why you�re so fat.

Dark Koopa: You never did make me that sandwich.

Lemmy: I�m ordering you on a diet. Go do some sit-ups while I do this Interview.

Dark Koopa: Fine. As long as I get paid.

(Dark Koopa exits.)

Lemmy: Totally not paying him. Anyhow, welcome to Lemmy�s Interview Show! My guest is Skeeter,
who has a very... elusive name.

(The Skeeter walks out.)

Skeeter: Hello�

Lemmy: Hey, you can walk on land?

Skeeter: Yeah, but we prefer not to. Our legs are pretty sensitive.

Lemmy: How are you able to walk on water?

Skeeter: We don�t really walk. We glide.

Lemmy: Don�t correct me!

Skeeter: Rawr?

Lemmy: Rawr!

Skeeter: Anyway. We can glide because our bodies, especially our legs, are really light, so we don�t
sink.

Lemmy: Ooh, that makes me wonder. Can you swim?

Skeeter: Err, nope. Others probably can though.

Lemmy: So, you spend all your time on water and you can�t swim? You stupid?

Skeeter: What?

Lemmy: What if someone pushes you underwater?

Skeeter: Never thought of that.

Lemmy: Ha! You have a flaw. All of Dad�s minions have flaws.

Skeeter: Whose side are you on?

***

Dark Koopa: Time for a workout.

(Dark Koopa does a single sit-up.)

Dark Koopa: Whew. Time for a break.

***

Lemmy: Hm, the audience is still gone. Does that mean I can say whatever I want?

Skeeter: I guess.

Lemmy: Great. King Dad is an egotistical moron who smells like a week-old tuna sandwich!

Stupid Cameraman: Um, we�re live in Dark Land.

Lemmy: D�oh!

***

Dark Koopa: All right, gimme nine cheeseburgers and twelve large fries, extra ketchup. Oh, and a diet soda. I
need to watch my weight.

Cashier: �

***

Lemmy: So why would King Dad recruit you to the Koopa Troop?

Skeeter: Well, we�re a water-based enemy, and Mario tends to have trouble taking those down without
a power-up. Additionally, in the two games we appeared in, Mario either had no power-ups, or it was some
backpack that sprayed water.

Lemmy: He could still kill you though.

Skeeter: Well yeah. If we got too close to land, he could jump on us. But otherwise, there really was no
way.

Lemmy: So what games were you in, and in what areas?

Skeeter: I was in Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Sunshine, in the Wet-Dry World and Bianco Hills respectively.

Lemmy: You sure you ain�t Pond Skaters?

Skeeter: We sort of are. I can�t say there�s really much difference between us besides Pond Skaters being a bit more aggressive. We might as well be the same.

Lemmy: You also kinda look like those orange spiders. You related?

Skeeter: Mhmm. They�re like our land-based cousins. Unfortunately, Mario usually has no trouble
beating them, unlike us.

Lemmy: You related to Piders too?

Skeeter: Nope.

Lemmy: Aww. Now nobody�s gonna convince that one in my room to leave. Now, I got one more question for you� What�s up with your name? You that twin sister Muppet from Muppet Babies? You that ugly puppet from Cousin Skeeter?

Skeeter: Erm, no.

Lemmy: Muuuuuppet Babies! We�ll make all your dreams come true! Muppet Babies! We�ll do the same for youuuuu!

Skeeter: �

Lemmy: What?

Skeeter: Nevermind. Anyhow, one of your questions from earlier makes me wonder something.

Lemmy: Hm?

Skeeter: How does Mario shoot fireballs in the water?

Lemmy: Ooh, you don�t wanna ask that kind of question.

Skeeter: Why not?

Lemmy: Some Nintendo guy will get angry and erase you from existence, preventing you from appearing in
any future games. It�s what happened to Mechakoopas.

Skeeter: Oh�

(Skeeter is hit with a lightning bolt and vanishes.)

Lemmy: Darn. Too late.

Dark Koopa: I�m back! I think you�ll find an improvement.

Lemmy: You�re fatter.

Dark Koopa: Is that not an improvement?

(Suddenly, the audience rushes into the studio, carrying torches and pitchforks, demanding refunds or
someone�s going to get hurt.)

Dark Koopa: Well Lemmy, I guess it�s time to take one for the team.

(The audience surrounds Dark Koopa.)

Dark Koopa: Well, at least no unofficial appeared.

(Pink drops though the ceiling.)

Dark Koopa: Well, this is awkward.

Lemmy: Hmm�

Dark Koopa: Hmm�

Pink: Hmm�?

Dark Koopa and Lemmy: That audience said they don�t like Yoshis!

Pink: What?!

(The audience is pummeled.)

Dark Koopa: Ah, nostalgia.

Lemmy: Guess someone was hurt after all.

Nintendo Guy: End transmission.