KIRBY interviews LARRY
By Kirby

Two hours before the Interview…

Kirby: Okay, Goomba, you cleaned up everything, right?

Goomba: Not exactly. You see, gum was stuck under the seats, and it was hard to pull off, and I never succeeded in it… because, well, I have no arms.


(Two Pichus runs over.)

Kirby: Pick up that Goomba and head over to the punishment room. Once you get in, start zapping him. Very badly. Oh, and could you please also start bouncing on that lousy janitor? Thanks! Do it and I'll raise your pay by three coins.

Pichu 1: Pichu, pichuuu! (We'll do our best!)

Pichu 2: Pichu pichu pich Pichu! (You pick up the first end, and I'll pick up the other end!)

(The Pichus pick up the Goomba and start trotting to the punishment room.)

Goomba: HEY! LEMME GO!

Kirby: Oh, don't worry! You'll still have your job! You're not fired.

Five minutes before the Interview…

(Kirby is behind the curtains.)

Kirby: The show's about to start… Where's my interviewee?

(Larry walks up to Kirby.)

Larry: Hello, Kirby!

(Kirby jumps in fright.)

Kirby: Gah! Larry, you scared me!

Larry: Sorry. Anyway, the show's about to start.

Kirby: Don't worry.

(Kirby checks his watch.)

Kirby: We've only got… one minute.

Larry: Oh, okay.

Iggy (behind camera): Okay, we're on in 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… WE'RE ON!

Bowser (Announcer): Hey everybody! Welcome to Kirby's Interviews! And now, here's the little weakling pink puffball himself… Kirby!

(Kirby walks through the curtains.)

Kirby: Remind me why I hired you as the announcer. Wait… I can fire you! YOU'RE FIRED!

Bowser: But I've only been announcer for five minutes!

Kirby: Tough! PICHU SECURITY! Drag Bowser out of here!

(Five Pichus scatter up to the announcer's room, pick up Bowser, and then start carrying him to the exit.)


Kirby: … O-kay then. Anyway, welcome folks, to another Interview by yours truly, me!

(The audience cheers.)

Kirby: Okay, I know you're all excited, but we've got an Interview to do! So, here's my interviewee today… LARRY THE KOOPALING!

(The curtains open up, and a giant plasma screen TV plays a yellow scene with Larry's head spinning around.)

Meta Knight: Ugh! It's too… weird! I mean, Larry's head can't spin around!

(Meta Knight throws his golden sword at the plasma screen TV. As soon as the sword hits, the TV bursts into flames, then the flames set off the fire alarms and the showers activate.)

Audience: AAAAHHHH!!!

Waluigi: (hugging his seat) I'm terrified of little wet drops!

Kirby: Oh great.

(The screen cuts to a test pattern. It cuts back one minute later.)

Kirby: Um, welcome back! As you can see, some of the studio is burnt… but we're still covered by the roof! That's good. Anyway, my interviewee will be Larry today.

(Larry sits in the interviewee chair.)

Kirby: So, Larry…

(Kirby takes his seat in the interviewer's chair.)

Kirby: What is it like being the youngest of the Koopalings?

Larry: Not so good, Kirby. I always get bullied first by Roy…

Kirby: Oh… well, I've got punishments for him. But it could be violent for our younger viewers, so that's why we built a punishment room!

Larry: Oh, well… *evil smile* I think you could teach him a lesson or two.

Kirby: Or ten…. *evil smile*

Roy (from audience): HEY!

Kirby: Ah, we'll just do it after the Interview. So Larry, who do you like the most out of the Koopalings?

Larry: Well, Lemmy seems nice to me a lot…

Iggy: Grr…

Larry: Then again, Iggy's been paying attention to me…

Iggy: Yay!

Larry: It'd be…. both of them.

Kirby: Now, who's your least favorite Koopaling?

Larry: Obviously Roy…

Roy: HEY!

Kirby: Well Larry, what do you normally do now?

Larry: Well, most of the time, I'm Ludwig's assistant….

Kirby: Why?

Larry: I dunno. He said if I wasn't his assistant, he'd teleport me to the past with his time machine, so I said yes.

Kirby: Wow… just like how I hired that Goomba…

Larry: Really?

Kirby: Yeah... Err, let's just move on to audience questions!

Larry: Okay, I'm ready!

Kirby: Seat 66!

Koopa Troopa: Yeah, um, how do you get this… Koopaling vote everyone's been talking about?

Larry: Well, according to Lemmy's sayings, you need to send submissions, like Interviews. That's all I know of.

(The Koopa Troopa rushes out of the studio to write an Interview.)

Kirby: Seat 84.

Petey Piranha: Do you want graffiti?

Larry: No thank you!

Kirby: Seat 61.

Morton: …

Kirby: Oh no, not him!


Larry: Err, yes, I do like cake…

Kirby: Seat-


Kirby: Seat-


Kirby: Ugh. I'm not going through this. SECURITY!

(Five Pichus run over to Morton and start dragging him out of the studio. Morton starts screaming and banging his fists.)


Kirby: Anyway, seat 51.

Al Gore: I invented-

Kirby: Seat 60.

Shy Guy: So, do you like working with Ludwig?

Larry: Not really. To tell the truth, he's too bossy.

(Ludwig gets out of his seat and runs off to tell his lawyer.)

Kirby: Seat 106.

Yoshi: Where bathroom?

Kirby: Exit this room, go down the hall, make a left, enter the first door on the right side, then go up and make a left turn on the first hallway you see. Then enter the second door on the left. Oh, and if you've reached the room with all of the beds, you've gone way too far.

Yoshi: Thanks.

(Yoshi waddles off.)

Kirby: Seat 13.

Lord Crump: Do you like pie?

Larry: No. I'm allergic to pie.

Lord Crump: *gasp* HOW DARE YOU?! Good thing I set a time bomb that lasts 30 seconds.

(Lord Crump takes out a remote. He presses the button and a timer on the top left screen appears. Lord Crump then jumps out of the window.)

Audience: AAAHHH!!!

(The audience starts running and panicking.)

Kirby: Okay everyone, calm down! The timer's gonna go off, but I'm getting out of here!

(Kirby reaches for the exit.)

Kirby: I'm going! Right no-

(BOOOOOM!!! Kirby, Larry, and the audience go flying.)

Larry: Oh great.

Kirby: Fiddlesticks!

Al Gore: I invented explosions!

(A Pichu guard kicks Al Gore down a hole.)

Al Gore: I invented kicking!


Kirby: Yeah, that's nice.

Larry: But what about Roy's punishment?

Kirby: Sorry, Larry, but he'll have to get it after the NEXT Interview.

Larry: Fiddlesticks!

Al Gore (from far, far below): I invented Fiddlesticks!

Larry: You know what struck me?

Kirby: What?

Larry: This ending was very cheesy.

Kirby: Humph. But you know what?

Larry: What?

Kirby: I can't help the feeling we forgot something…

(The Goomba janitor is still in the sky, along with the Pichu security, who are pounding the snot or of him. They are WAY behind everyone.)


Kirby: Ah well.

Iggy: Kirby, we're still filming.

Kirby: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?! Now the camera's going to run out of fil-

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