Mario and Luigi: Superfast Saga
By zz1666

One morning Toad comes running into Mario's house.

Toad: #%*#%&, where is he?

Like an idiot, Toad barges into the bathroom.

Mario: Mamamia!

Mario beats up Toad.

Toad: Mario, Peach has had her voice stolen, you must save her!

Mario: Come on, Luigi, you're coming!

Mario runs out of the house naked.

Toad: Mario, for goodness sake, put some clothes on!

Mario grabs Luigi and starts running to the castle, still naked.

Luigi: Mario, please, put some clothes on!

Ignoring Luigi, Mario runs into the castle, still naked. He sees a feather land on Bowser.

Bowser: RAWR! Mario, you cheap, naked fool! For attacking me from behind we must fight!

Mario: I never attacked you!

Mario, still n- All right, you get the point; he won't ever put on clothes, so now I'll stop saying it. Anyway, Mario punches Bowser straight in the jaw.

Bowser: AHHHH! Mario, you have beaten me again. We must team up to stop whoever took Peach's voice.

Mario: %*#%, I ain't teaming up with you.

Bowser grabs Mario and runs out of the castle.

Luigi: Hey, wait for me!

Bowser storms through Toad Town, dragging Mario along as well as squashing several Toads. Luigi is seen frantically running behind him.

Luigi: Slow down!

Bowser: To the Koopa Cruiser!

They all jump into the Koopa Cruiser and take to the sky.

Luigi: Hey, who's that?

Fawful sends an energy ball at Bowser, which knocks him out of the Koopa Cruiser.

Mario: Woah, Bowser is flying!

Luigi: I thought he was too fat to fly.

Fawful: I have fury!

Mario: What are you, a mentally ill psycho?

Fawful: Fink rats!

Fawful shoots an energy ball and blows up the Koopa Cruiser. Mario and Luigi fall on the Beanbean side of the border.

Sledge Bro: Hey, you forgot to border jump.

Mario: Too bad!

Sledge Bro: Aw, I always loved that game...

Mario and Luigi continue into Stardust Fields and see Bowser stuck in a cannon.

Bowser: I'm stuck.

Mario: Maybe if you weren't so fat.

Bowser: Look, I've had enough of those fat jokes, now get me out, Mario and Green!

Luigi: How come no one knows my name?

Mario: Hey, no one said you could speak.

Mario and Luigi are on top of the cannon trying to get Bowser out, when General Starshade appears.

General Starshade: Leave now!

General Starshade launches them out of the cannon. Bowser keeps flying but Mario and Luigi fall off on top of Hoohoo Mountain.

Blablanadon: The egg, it's hatched!

Mario: What egg?

Dragohoho: RWA-

Dragohoho falls down the waterfall.

Blablanadon: For saving me I will fly you to Beanbean Castle.

Mario: I don't want to go there!

Luigi: No!

Blablanadon drops them in Beanbean Castle.

Lady Lima: No, someone save us!

Lady Lima looks at Mario.

Lady Lima: Mario, save us!

Mario: No.

Mario pushes Lady Lima down into the basement.

Luigi: I'm still here, you know.

Queen Bean falls through the ceiling, and Cackletta follows.

Cackletta: Eyak yak yak, I have the Beanstar at last!

Cackletta takes the Beanstar and leaves.

Mario: What in the world just happened?

Mario runs out of the castle.

Luigi: Have you ever heard of waiting?

Luigi runs after Mario, who is in Beanbean Castle Town.

Mario: These dead beans smell.

Luigi: Um, they're not dead.

A bean figure gets up.

Mario: Zombie!

Mario beats up the bean person.

Bean Person: Stop!

Mario stops.

Bean Person: You must go get soda from the Chucklehuck Reserve!

Luigi: Why?

Bean Person: Because I told you so.

Mario: Good enough for me.

Mario grabs Luigi and grabs a sword.

Luigi: Why do you have a sword?

Mario: For this.

Mario uses the sword and slashes down trees to cut his way straight to the Reserve.

Bubbles: What do idiots drink? So-duh.

The Chucklehuck Cola bubbles and turns into Chuckolador.

Luigi: Ah!

Mario: Soda!

Mario drinks up Chuckolador.

Mario: Good soda.

Bubbles: What? How dare you drink the soda!

Bubbles shoots Mario and Luigi all the way back to the castle. Mario and Luigi land in front of Queen Bean.

Lady Lima: I knew you'd save us!

Mario pukes Chuckola Cola into Queen Bean's mouth. The Belly Blech worm jumps out, and Queen Bean returns to normal.

Queen Bean: I thought I told you guys to go stop Cackletta!

Mario: Who's that?

Queen Bean: Go now!

Luigi: Where?

Queen Bean kicks the two into Woohoo Hooniversity. Luigi lands on Fawful and drills him into the ground.

Cackletta: Hey, that's a cheap shot!

Luigi: What now?

Cackletta turns all scary. Mario kicks her in the shin.

Cackletta: Ouch!

Suddenly the floor caves in and Mario and Luigi fall through.

Popple: You guys again!

Mario: What?

Rookie: You may have beaten us in Chucklehuck Woods, but we'll beat you here.

Luigi: Since when did we beat you in Chucklehuck Woods?

All of a sudden, the Beanstar starts taking off.

Mario: Shiny! I want!

Mario grabs onto the Beanstar.

Popple: Don't let him get that, Rookie!

Rookie grabs on, as does Popple.

Luigi: I don't like being left out of these kinds of things!

Luigi also grabs on. The Beanstar lifts up and everyone except Rookie falls off.

Rookie: Hey, wait a minute. I'm Bowser! That means I am the greatest! Rawr har h-

Bowser hits his head against an airplane and falls down somewhere near Stardust Fields. Mario and Luigi land in the middle of the ocean.

Mario: I can't swim! Help! I'm going to drown!

Luigi: But this water is only knee-deep.

Mario looks to see the water is only up to his knees.

Mario: I knew that.

Mario and Luigi walk to shore and Prince Peasley swoops on by.

Prince Peasley: Hurry, Peach is arriving. To the airport now!

Luigi: Go away, creep!

Prince Peasley hits Mario and Luigi with his sword and they go flying to the airport. They land on top of a giant egg, which shatters.

Lady Lima: The runway is clear! Now Peach can arrive!

Mario: What in the world is going on?

Peach's plane lands on the runway. Peach walks out.

Peach: Mario! Luigi!

Luigi: Yes?

Peach: I wish to go to Little Fungitown.

Mario: Good for you.

Peach: You guys will escort me there.

Luigi: Says who?

Toadsworth: I say, you two boys better!

Mario: Yeah yeah, cool it, gramps.

Mario grabs Peach and runs through Teehee Valley and gets to Little Fungitown.

Luigi: Wait for me!

Luigi: When Luigi finally catches up he sees Bowser's Clown Copter hovering overhead.

Luigi: Bowser, you son of a gun.

A figure pops its head up. It's not Bowser, it's Bowletta!

Bowletta: Eyak yak yak! I have the princess!

Luigi: Oh hey, the annual freak show finally showed up.

Bowletta: I'm not a freak! I am the all powerful Bowletta!

Luigi: Sounds like a freak to me.

Bowletta: Come Fawful, we have no time for idiots like these!

Bowletta flies away and Mario comes running.

Mario: Luigi, you moron! You let her get away!

Luigi: Sorry, Bro.

Mario: Whatever, let's just get back to Beanbean Castle.

Mario and Luigi get struck by lightning, and are teleported to Beanbean Castle.

Toadsworth: You fools let the princess get kidnapped!

Mario: Put a sock in it!

Lady Lima: This is no time for charades! Bowletta wants us to find the pieces of the Beanstar for her.

Luigi: Have fun with that.

Lady Lima: No, you two must find it.

Mario: Why do we have to do all the work around here?

Lady Lima: You guys ARE the famous Mario Bros, after all.

Luigi: Your point?

Lady Lima: Just go!

Mario and Luigi head to Teehee Valley.

Mario: Why did we come here?

Luigi: You just ran randomly here.

Mario and Luigi see a Beanstar Piece on a ship.

Mario: Oh hey!

Mario grabs the Piece.

Luigi: That's one!

Mario: Your point?

Luigi: We have to find four.

Mario: There are four? How do you know this?

Luigi: Because when Lady Lima was speaking I wasn't making funny faces at her like you were. Now come, letís go to Chucklehuck Woods.

Mario and Luigi run to Chucklehuck Woods, where Mario runs in and out in a mere second.

Luigi: How'd you get that Piece so fast?

Mario: With "imagination" anything is possible!

Luigi: Really? Well I'm imagining something that will never happen.

All of a sudden, clothes form on Mario's body.

Luigi: It worked!

Mario: Luigi, you idiot! Clothes cramp my style.

Luigi: Well it's for the sake of all things decent.

Mario: Well that's all great and dandy, but let's get the other two Beanstar Pieces so we can get forced to do more pointless tasks.

Mario and Luigi leave the woods and go near Beanbean Castle.

Koopa: Derr... No matter how hard you hit me you can't knock me down. I think...

Mario taps the Koopa.

Koopa: Ugh!

The Koopa falls on its back.

Mario: What was that last thing you said?

Mario and Luigi walk on by and go to the Yoshi Theater, where they see a Beanstar Piece on top of a sign.

Mario: I command you to get it, Luigi.

Luigi: Who made you the boss?

Mario: Just get it.

Luigi grabs the Beanstar Piece, and they run to the opposite site of the valley, and are in Harhall's Fashion Studio.

Mario: Hey, it's in a cage!

Mario rips the bars of the cage and grabs the Beanstar Piece.

Luigi: So where to next?

Mario: Let's just go to Beanbean Castle so we can be forced to do more things that we don't want to.

Luigi: Oh, how fun.

Mario and Luigi return to Beanbean Castle.

Lady Lima: Bowletta wishes for the Beanstar to be exchanged at Joke's End.

Mario: And as usual, we have to go.

Lady Lima: But of course.

Luigi: How do we get there?

Mario: Luigi.

Luigi: Yes?

Mario grabs Luigi and throws him in the ocean. Mario then jumps on Luigi and starts surfing to Joke's End.

Luigi: Get off of me!

Mario: Take it like a man!

Mario reaches Joke's End, but doesn't get off, and he slides on the ice all the way though Joke's End on Luigi. After sliding through the whole thing they crashland in front of Bowletta. Luigi has somehow got Princess Peach's dress on him.

Bowletta: Another Peach? Did I take the wrong one?

Mario: Uh, sure.

Bowletta: Here, trade.

Bowletta throws Peach down, and Mario throws Luigi up to Bowletta.

Luigi: Mario, it's me, Luigi!

Mario: Nice try, Peach. I can clearly remember that Luigi stayed at home for this journey to knit like a little girl.

Luigi: I DON'T KNIT!

Mario: I know. Only Luigi knits, and you're clearly Peach. Now get lost!

Mario leaves and Luigi gets taken to the Koopa Cruiser.

Luigi: Iíve got to escape!

Luigi bungee jumps out of the plane and crashlands on Mario.

Mario: Luigi, how many times did I tell you not to play hide and go seek when there are important things going on?

Luigi: Mario, you gave me to Bowletta.

Mario: Whoís that?

Luigi: Gah!

All of a sudden, an explosion occurs below Mario and Luigi and sends them soaring through the sky.

Mario: I can fly! I told you what imagination can do!

Mario and Luigi land in Bowser's Castle, and land on Bowletta.

Bowletta: Gah!

Bowletta is knocked out.

Prince Peasley: You guys did it!

Luigi: Did what?

Prince Peasley: Don't be so humble now. You can be rewarded later. You have two seconds to escape before the time bomb I set goes off!


Mario: Gee, way to give us a heads up.


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