Really? The Crane Game?
By Fireball

January 21, 2012

Wario: Hey Waluigi, I have an idea!

Waluigi: Who said that?!

Wario: Me, Wario!

Waluigi: Oh, just open the door, would you?

Wario opens the front door.

Wario: Hey Waluigi, I have an idea!

Waluigi: I heard.

Wario: Who told you?

Waluigi: Go on with your idea.

Wario: I heard that there's a Star that will grant you any wish! I could become rich!

Waluigi: No "we"?

Wario: We'll see.

Waluigi: So who did you hear this from?

Wario: Does it matter?

Waluigi: Actually, yes it does.

Wario: Well, none of your business!

Waluigi: It wasn't that fake fortune teller machine again, was it?

Wario: Hey, I am losing weight!

Waluigi: It tells you that everyday!

Wario: You're just jealous.

Waluigi: Just tell me more of the Star thing.

Wario: Well its somewhere in Ice Land.

Waluigi: ... Is that it?

Wario: Yeah, so are you coming with me?

Waluigi: Uh, you have no really reliable resources for knowing where the Star is, and you're probably just taking a wild guess.

Wario: Your point?

Waluigi: Fine, I'll come.

So the two set off for Ice Land.

Wario: Before we go, we should go see Mario.

Waluigi: Why?

Wario: If he can accurately punch us to Bowser's Castle, I'm sure he can punch us to Ice Land.

Waluigi: My doctor told me I shouldn't get punched for another week though!

Wario: Who's your doctor?

Waluigi: Dr. Mario, actually.

Wario punches Waluigi.

Wario: Did that hurt?

Waluigi: Ow! Yeah!

Wario: Now you can get punched again.

Waluigi: That doesn't even make any sense!

Wario: You don't make any sense!

Waluigi: Don't say things like that to Waluigi, mainly because I can't do anything about it.

So Wario and Waluigi go over to the Mario Bros house.

Wario: Hey Mario, can you punch us to Ice Land?

Mario: Sure!

Waluigi: Did we even knock on their door?

Wario: Haha, I sure do, Mario!

Waluigi: What? What are you talking about?

Mario: Okay then, I should let you guys get to your adventure then!

Waluigi: Either the author cut out that main conversation for no real reason or because he's just getting lazy. Or... well, that's all I can think of.

Wario: Aw man, Mario punched us right to Bowser's Castle again!

Waluigi: What?! How did we get to Bowser's Castle?! Enough of the story skipping!

Wario: What are you talking about?

Waluigi: Am I the only one who's experiencing this?

Wario: Probably. I hope you didn't experience when Luigi tripped and spilled hot soup on your clothes.

Waluigi: Aw, I was wondering why my clothes were boiling. Naturally, I just thought that Waluigi was on fire, but I was proved otherwise.

Wario: Forget it, we have to get that Star!

Waluigi: Why is everyone always in a rush? Can't we take our time for once?

Hammer Bro: Halt! Who dare trespasses on Lord Bowser's land?

Wario: I'm Waluigi, and he's Wario!

Dry Bones: Are those really your names?

Wario: ... No, I'm Wario, he's Waluigi.

Hammer Bro: What do thee wish-

Dry Bones: Cut the medieval talk, Hammer Bro.

Hammer Bro: Sorry...

Wario: Were going to Ice Land.

Dry Bones: To invade Lemmy's Castle?!

Wario: The exact opposite of that.

Hammer Bro: What... what is the exact opposite of going to Lemmy's Castle?

Waluigi: You guys figure it out. According to Mr. Hurry, we have to get going.

Dry Bones: Wait, do you guys want to play Scrabble?

Wario: Don't you guys have a castle to guard?

Dry Bones: Don't you guys have a Scribble to continue?

Wario: Fair point. Fine, we'll play!

Waluigi: Oh, so now all of a sudden were not in a hurry anymore?

Wario: Shut up and play.

So the four set up a game of Scrabble. After an hour of playing...

Dry Bones: Come on, Wario, make a move already!

Wario: Don't rush the great, Wario! Here, I made a word already!

Wario puts down A-R-I-O next to the letter W.

Hammer Bro: I thought we agreed that we would not use names!

Wario: Give me the dictionary again! I'll prove to you that I am a word!

Waluigi: You've been using it all game!

Wario: I like to make sure.

Dry Bones: Just play the game right.

Wario flips the Scrabble board over.

Hammer Bro: Now that was just rude.

Wario: Sorry, but Waluigi and I have an adventure to continue!

Waluigi: I have a good word though! Well I did until you flipped the board over.

Wario: Lets get going!

Wario and Waluigi start to make their way over to Ice Land.

Hammer Bro: At least we still have our Twister game!

Wario and Waluigi find a bus being driven by a Koopa.

Wario: Can you take us to Ice Land?

Koopa: No.

Waluigi: That was a pretty straightforward answer.

Wario: You don't even have any passengers on your bus though.

Koopa: I still have to make my routes.

Wario pushes the Koopa out of the bus.

Waluigi: To Ice Land!

Wario steps on the gas pedal and drives right into a wall.

Waluigi: You drove right into Bowser's Castle!

Wario: Yeah, we didn't even take 10 steps before that bus came.

Waluigi: Oh no, here comes Bowser!

Bowser: Something seems odd about this room... That picture of me is at an angle, that'll never do. Well, might as well get going.

Waluigi: I can't believe he didn't notice we crashed into the wall.

Bowser: Hey, you guys crashed into my castle! At least do it with some class!

Wario: We need to get to Ice Land.

Bowser: Yeah, its all about you guys. Just take that warp pipe over there to get to Ice Land.

Bowser points to a warp pipe outside with many flashing arrows saying "TO ICE LAND".

Bowser: I should take down those flashing arrows. They may look cool, but it's really just a waste of money.

Wario and Waluigi take the warp pipe to Ice Land.

Wario: Hey, were in Lemmy's Castle!

Waluigi: No were not, were outside in the snow.

Wario: But his castle is right next to us.

Waluigi: I'll give you that much.

Lemmy: What are you guys doing outside of my castle?

Wario: Watering your plants.

Lemmy: What plants?

Wario: That was just a distraction for us to get away!

Lemmy: Uh... Why do you guys need a distraction?

Wario: I... I just like them.

Waluigi: This is the first time you've done one.

Wario: And I liked it!

Lemmy: Just leave.

Wario: Do you know where the Star that grants your any wish is?

Lemmy: I heard there's one up that hill. But you have to be quiet when you go inside, or you'll disturb the owner of the Star.

Waluigi: How would you know?

Lemmy: I don't.

Wario: Well thanks anyway!

Waluigi: Aren't you going to try to get it now too?

Lemmy: I'll leave the Scribble the way it is.

So Wario and Waluigi make it up the hill and find a huge palace.

Wario: Look at this huge palace!

Waluigi: He already described it to us!

Wario: Shut up.

Wario and Waluigi walk inside.

Wario: (whispering) We have to be quiet, Waluigi.

Waluigi: (whispering) Look, the Star is there in the middle.

Just then, Waluigi shouted.

Waluigi: (whispering) No I didn't!

Fake Millenium Star: Who dare wake me?!

Wario: Wait, you're the phoney Millenium Star!

FMS: Phoney? I beg to differ.

Wario: Whatever, fake!

FMS: Stop that!

Wario: Make me!

FMS: What do you two want? Your shouting woke me up.

Waluigi: Okay, there's some mistake here. I didn't shout, the author just said I did.

FMS: Oh. Well, I still have to stop you two from taking this Star that grants any wish.

Waluigi: Well, since I didn't shout, you should go back to sleeping, and pretend it never happened.

FMS: How can I, when I know you're obviously here?

Waluigi: I never shouted, so you never really woke up.

Wario: Yeah, you fake.

FMS: Stop calling me fake!

Wario: Some people just can't handle the truth.

FMS: I can't let you take that Star!

Waluigi: What are you going to do? Beat us up? Because I can't get beat up today.

FMS: Why?

Waluigi: Getting beat up hurts.

FMS: I shall challenge you two... to the mini-game... the Crane Game!

Waluigi: Nobody likes the Crane Game!

FMS: Heh heh, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd have about a quarter.

Just then Wario and Waluigi turn into two dolls. The Fake Millenium Star comes down attached to a crane.

FMS: Ho ho ho! *wiggles mustache*

Wario: Wah! This doll version of me makes me look fat!

FMS: The rules are simple, if I can get you both in this pipe in under 60 seconds, I win!

Waluigi: Have you ever played the Crane Game?

Wario: Are we playing Mario Party 1 or Mario Party 2? I hope its 2, we got to wear cool costumes.

FMS: Were playing my version!

Wario: Your version is stupid.

FMS: You just wait!

FMS goes over to Waluigi and picks him up

Waluigi: I was never good at mashing the A Button!

FMS puts Waluigi in the pipe.

FMS: Time for you, fatso! I still have 45 seconds to spare!

FMS picks up Wario, but the crane breaks.

Wario: Whahaha, and they said to exercise!


Wario: Those seconds just flew by!

FMS: I can't believe it, you easily beat me!

Waluigi: Are you implying that you never are?

Wario: Where did you come from?

Waluigi: I'll let the readers figure that one out. *wink*

Wario: Don't... ever do that again.

FMS: You can take the Star...

Wario: Wah, I'll just do that!

Wario does it.

Wario: What did I do?

Waluigi: Nothing yet, this author is off his game today.

Wario goes over and touches the Star, only for it to break into many pieces.

Wario: What's up with this, you loser!

Waluigi: Stop calling me that.

Wario: I meant the Star, loser!

FMS: That Star was hundreds of years old, it must have been fragile and broke from your strength.

Wario: Really?

FMS: Nah, I'm just guessing.

Waluigi: So, we came here for nothing? This has really got to stop happening.

FMS: You got to play the Crane Game!

Wario: I thought we agreed that nobody likes that game.

FMS: Then get out of here.

Wario and Waluigi take their time exiting the palace.

Waluigi: Now what?

Wario: We should probably go summer shopping.

Waluigi: What's summer shopping? And besides, it's December.

Wario: Yeah, it sure is.

Waluigi: Can we just end this?

Wario: We might as well.

Waluigi: Can I say the ending line?

Wario: Sure.

Waluigi: Thank you.

Wario: You're welcome.

The End

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