Wario: Hey Waluigi, I have an idea!
Waluigi: Who said that?!
Wario: Me, Wario!
Waluigi: Oh, just open the door, would you?
Wario opens the front door.
Wario: Hey Waluigi, I have an idea!
Waluigi: I heard.
Wario: Who told you?
Waluigi: Go on with your idea.
Wario: I heard that there's a Star that will grant you any wish! I could become rich!
Waluigi: No "we"?
Wario: We'll see.
Waluigi: So who did you hear this from?
Wario: Does it matter?
Waluigi: Actually, yes it does.
Wario: Well, none of your business!
Waluigi: It wasn't that fake fortune teller machine again, was it?
Wario: Hey, I am losing weight!
Waluigi: It tells you that everyday!
Wario: You're just jealous.
Waluigi: Just tell me more of the Star thing.
Wario: Well it’s somewhere in Ice Land.
Waluigi: ... Is that it?
Wario: Yeah, so are you coming with me?
Waluigi: Uh, you have no really reliable resources for knowing where the Star is, and you're probably just taking a wild guess.
Wario: Your point?
Waluigi: Fine, I'll come.
So the two set off for Ice Land.
Wario: Before we go, we should go see Mario.
Wario: If he can accurately punch us to Bowser's Castle, I'm sure he can punch us to Ice Land.
Waluigi: My doctor told me I shouldn't get punched for another week though!
Wario: Who's your doctor?
Waluigi: Dr. Mario, actually.
Wario punches Waluigi.
Wario: Did that hurt?
Waluigi: Ow! Yeah!
Wario: Now you can get punched again.
Waluigi: That doesn't even make any sense!
Wario: You don't make any sense!
Waluigi: Don't say things like that to Waluigi, mainly because I can't do anything about it.
So Wario and Waluigi go over to the Mario Bros’ house.
Wario: Hey Mario, can you punch us to Ice Land?
Waluigi: Did we even knock on their door?
Wario: Haha, I sure do, Mario!
Waluigi: What? What are you talking about?
Mario: Okay then, I should let you guys get to your adventure then!
Waluigi: Either the author cut out that main conversation for no real reason or because he's just getting lazy. Or... well, that's all I can think of.
Wario: Aw man, Mario punched us right to Bowser's Castle again!
Waluigi: What?! How did we get to Bowser's Castle?! Enough of the story skipping!
Wario: What are you talking about?
Waluigi: Am I the only one who's experiencing this?
Wario: Probably. I hope you didn't experience when Luigi tripped and spilled hot soup on your clothes.
Waluigi: Aw, I was wondering why my clothes were boiling. Naturally, I just thought that Waluigi was on fire, but I was proved otherwise.
Wario: Forget it, we have to get that Star!
Waluigi: Why is everyone always in a rush? Can't we take our time for once?
Hammer Bro: Halt! Who dare trespasses on Lord Bowser's land?
Wario: I'm Waluigi, and he's Wario!
Dry Bones: Are those really your names?
Wario: ... No, I'm Wario, he's Waluigi.
Hammer Bro: What do thee wish-
Dry Bones: Cut the medieval talk, Hammer Bro.
Hammer Bro: Sorry...
Wario: We’re going to Ice Land.
Dry Bones: To invade Lemmy's Castle?!
Wario: The exact opposite of that.
Hammer Bro: What... what is the exact opposite of going to Lemmy's Castle?
Waluigi: You guys figure it out. According to Mr. Hurry, we have to get going.
Dry Bones: Wait, do you guys want to play Scrabble?
Wario: Don't you guys have a castle to guard?
Dry Bones: Don't you guys have a Scribble to continue?
Wario: Fair point. Fine, we'll play!
Waluigi: Oh, so now all of a sudden we’re not in a hurry anymore?
Wario: Shut up and play.
So the four set up a game of Scrabble. After an hour of playing...
Dry Bones: Come on, Wario, make a move already!
Wario: Don't rush the great, Wario! Here, I made a word already!
Wario puts down A-R-I-O next to the letter W.
Hammer Bro: I thought we agreed that we would not use names!
Wario: Give me the dictionary again! I'll prove to you that I am a word!
Waluigi: You've been using it all game!
Wario: I like to make sure.
Dry Bones: Just play the game right.
Wario flips the Scrabble board over.
Hammer Bro: Now that was just rude.
Wario: Sorry, but Waluigi and I have an adventure to continue!
Waluigi: I have a good word though! Well I did until you flipped the board over.
Wario: Let’s get going!
Wario and Waluigi start to make their way over to Ice Land.
Hammer Bro: At least we still have our Twister game!
Wario and Waluigi find a bus being driven by a Koopa.
Wario: Can you take us to Ice Land?
Waluigi: That was a pretty straightforward answer.
Wario: You don't even have any passengers on your bus though.
Koopa: I still have to make my routes.
Wario pushes the Koopa out of the bus.
Waluigi: To Ice Land!
Wario steps on the gas pedal and drives right into a wall.
Waluigi: You drove right into Bowser's Castle!
Wario: Yeah, we didn't even take 10 steps before that bus came.
Waluigi: Oh no, here comes Bowser!
Bowser: Something seems odd about this room... That picture of me is at an angle, that'll never do. Well, might as well get going.
Waluigi: I can't believe he didn't notice we crashed into the wall.
Bowser: Hey, you guys crashed into my castle! At least do it with some class!
Wario: We need to get to Ice Land.
Bowser: Yeah, it’s all about you guys. Just take that warp pipe over there to get to Ice Land.
Bowser points to a warp pipe outside with many flashing arrows saying "TO ICE LAND".
Bowser: I should take down those flashing arrows. They may look cool, but it's really just a waste of money.
Wario and Waluigi take the warp pipe to Ice Land.
Wario: Hey, we’re in Lemmy's Castle!
Waluigi: No we’re not, we’re outside in the snow.
Wario: But his castle is right next to us.
Waluigi: I'll give you that much.
Lemmy: What are you guys doing outside of my castle?
Wario: Watering your plants.
Lemmy: What plants?
Wario: That was just a distraction for us to get away!
Lemmy: Uh... Why do you guys need a distraction?
Wario: I... I just like them.
Waluigi: This is the first time you've done one.
Wario: And I liked it!
Lemmy: Just leave.
Wario: Do you know where the Star that grants your any wish is?
Lemmy: I heard there's one up that hill. But you have to be quiet when you go inside, or you'll disturb the owner of the Star.
Waluigi: How would you know?
Lemmy: I don't.
Wario: Well thanks anyway!
Waluigi: Aren't you going to try to get it now too?
Lemmy: I'll leave the Scribble the way it is.
So Wario and Waluigi make it up the hill and find a huge palace.
Wario: Look at this huge palace!
Waluigi: He already described it to us!
Wario: Shut up.
Wario and Waluigi walk inside.
Wario: (whispering) We have to be quiet, Waluigi.
Waluigi: (whispering) Look, the Star is there in the middle.
Just then, Waluigi shouted.
Waluigi: (whispering) No I didn't!
Fake Millenium Star: Who dare wake me?!
Wario: Wait, you're the phoney Millenium Star!
FMS: Phoney? I beg to differ.
Wario: Whatever, fake!
FMS: Stop that!
Wario: Make me!
FMS: What do you two want? Your shouting woke me up.
Waluigi: Okay, there's some mistake here. I didn't shout, the author just said I did.
FMS: Oh. Well, I still have to stop you two from taking this Star that grants any wish.
Waluigi: Well, since I didn't shout, you should go back to sleeping, and pretend it never happened.
FMS: How can I, when I know you're obviously here?
Waluigi: I never shouted, so you never really woke up.
Wario: Yeah, you fake.
FMS: Stop calling me fake!
Wario: Some people just can't handle the truth.
FMS: I can't let you take that Star!
Waluigi: What are you going to do? Beat us up? Because I can't get beat up today.
Waluigi: Getting beat up hurts.
FMS: I shall challenge you two... to the mini-game... the Crane Game!
Waluigi: Nobody likes the Crane Game!
FMS: Heh heh, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd have about a quarter.
Just then Wario and Waluigi turn into two dolls. The Fake Millenium Star comes down attached to a crane.
FMS: Ho ho ho! *wiggles mustache*
Wario: Wah! This doll version of me makes me look fat!
FMS: The rules are simple, if I can get you both in this pipe in under 60 seconds, I win!
Waluigi: Have you ever played the Crane Game?
Wario: Are we playing Mario Party 1 or Mario Party 2? I hope it’s 2, we got to wear cool costumes.
FMS: We’re playing my version!
Wario: Your version is stupid.
FMS: You just wait!
FMS goes over to Waluigi and picks him up
Waluigi: I was never good at mashing the A Button!
FMS puts Waluigi in the pipe.
FMS: Time for you, fatso! I still have 45 seconds to spare!
FMS picks up Wario, but the crane breaks.
Wario: Whahaha, and they said to exercise!
Wario: Those seconds just flew by!
FMS: I can't believe it, you easily beat me!
Waluigi: Are you implying that you never are?
Wario: Where did you come from?
Waluigi: I'll let the readers figure that one out. *wink*
Wario: Don't... ever do that again.
FMS: You can take the Star...
Wario: Wah, I'll just do that!
Wario does it.
Wario: What did I do?
Waluigi: Nothing yet, this author is off his game today.
Wario goes over and touches the Star, only for it to break into many pieces.
Wario: What's up with this, you loser!
Waluigi: Stop calling me that.
Wario: I meant the Star, loser!
FMS: That Star was hundreds of years old, it must have been fragile and broke from your strength.
FMS: Nah, I'm just guessing.
Waluigi: So, we came here for nothing? This has really got to stop happening.
FMS: You got to play the Crane Game!
Wario: I thought we agreed that nobody likes that game.
FMS: Then get out of here.
Wario and Waluigi take their time exiting the palace.
Waluigi: Now what?
Wario: We should probably go summer shopping.
Waluigi: What's summer shopping? And besides, it's December.
Wario: Yeah, it sure is.
Waluigi: Can we just end this?
Wario: We might as well.
Waluigi: Can I say the ending line?
Waluigi: Thank you.
Wario: You're welcome.
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