Dinogirl: Dinogirl the Kidd likes bugs!

Toad: Why? Why? Why the heck did the Smash have to ruin my life and not kill off the Kidd?

Buzzy Beetle: Get the heck away from me you crazy girl!

Dinogirl: Hey!

Buzzy Beetle: Leave me alone and give me some food!

The Buzzy Beetle bites DinoGirl's arm off.

Dinogirl: Ouch!

Dinogirl bites the Buzzy Beetle's leg.

Buzzy Beetle: Leave me alone!

The Buzzy Beetle starts hissing and Dinogirl runs off. Then it gnaws on her arm.

Toad: Aw ^&$(! I left all my money in Sector 3!

Yoshiki: &*^! Me too!

Iggy: Not me! I- Hey! Where's my money?

Toad: Uh... You lost it?

Iggy: I guess I must of...

Yoshiki: Well, I say we go to Cammi's house and do some looting!

Toad hands everyone a leg of pantyhose and they put it over their heads.

Toad: Hey, where's my hand?

Iggy: Didn't it explode?

Toad: &*%! Darn nit, my hand! I can't cock my gun! &)%!

Yoshiki: You don't need to cock your gun.

Iggy: Didn't some one else lose an arm too?

Dinogirl: I did.

Yoshiki: I think we need to all stop at the K-Market Ward.

Toad: I'll survive, anyways, we still would need dough for the operation.

Iggy: Let's move!

Ten minutes later, at Cammi's Pad...

It's a pile of ash.

Iggy: Whoops, I forgot about the fire.

Cammi's mother is crying over their house and Iggy throws a rock at her. They all run off, except for Dinogirl. Toad had told Dinogirl that the Easter Bunny was in the ashes so DinoGirl had gone to check it out.

Ten minutes later...

Buzzy Beetle: Hey! Don't leave me!

Our heroes run into the K-Market.

Buzzy Beetle: Aw, see you on Disc 3...

K-Market is now completely run by electronics.

Iggy: Aw, forget it!

Iggy gets a baseball bat, ignoring his sword, and mashes into a shop and knocks the robot out before he can continue the gag and steals all the equipment they need. Anyways...

Iggy: Hey, a dark ally! Let's go in it for no reason what so ever.

Every one profoundly agrees with this.

Kid: Hey dude, over this wall is the Smash building.

Iggy: Well, that information would be useful if there was a way to get over.

Kid: Um, there is a rope... But it'll cost you 70 Gil per person.

Iggy suggests they beat this juvenile kid up and take his Gil while using the rope without paying. Every one profoundly agreed with this as well.

Toad and Yoshiki: Um, perhaps we should get our arm operations first.

Iggy: Ok, but we need money first.

Kid: Uh...

All three of our heroes jump the young lad and steal about 1,000 Gil from him. Then they duct tape him into the wall and shove a Gil up each nostril, sort of a trademark. The young lad passes out. Iggy pulls out a marker and writes on his forehead "IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU".

Iggy: Ok, let's go to the hospital.

Our heroes run back into the K-Market and into the Hospital. It is, in reality, a robotic Pokecenter.

Iggy: What the heck?

Robot Nurse: Please place patient here or prepare to be decapitated.

Toad and Yoshiki get on the plate and they somehow get automatically healed in some stupid way.

Iggy: You do realize what this means?

Iggy bashes in the nurse and rips out her wires and stuff.

Yoshiki: Well, on the upside, we don't have to pay, while we made fun of how stupid Pokemon is.

Iggy: Booya!

Ash: Are you a Pokemon?

Misty: Ash!

Misty hits Ash on the head with a newspaper.

Ash: Ow!

Luigi: Hey! Is this a Koopamon center?

Misty: Oh no! I thought I lost you!

Knuckles: Me too, but he found me under the couch.

Iggy: Arg! Too many stories are mixing together.

Then a guy with yellow hair runs in.

Cloud: Um-

Iggy throws a rock at Cloud and he falls down dead.

Iggy: I'm not even gonna let that happen.

They leave. Anyway, once they knock over the hospital they went go to the rope and begin climbing. Unfortunately at the top of the wall is a bunch of jagged junk that isn't passable without batteries.

Iggy: It's amazing how high I can jump, yet I can't jump so high at a point of the game like this.

Toad: Can you jump down?

Iggy: Yes!

Iggy jumps down.

Iggy: Ahh!

SPLAT!

Toad: Hey, he beat my loogie!

Then the loogie hits Iggy.

Iggy: Eww...

Iggy runs into the K-Market to find some batteries. Toad and Yoshiki find a nice spot.

Toad: Soo...

Yoshiki: ...

Toad: You know, Iggy used to be in KOOPA TROOPA.

Yoshiki: Yeah, I know, duh.

Toad: Well SORRY! I just needed to notify our reading audience!

Yoshiki: Well EXCUSE ME but I  already knew that!

Toad: They have to know that!

Yoshiki: You could have waited.

Toad: Yeah, well who needs you?

Toad lugs Yoshiki over the edge. She awkwardly lands face down on Iggy when he comes back.

Iggy: This is the happiest day of my life!

Then a bushel of loogies fall from the sky.

Iggy: %@$#%@#% it! We already did this joke over a million times.

Iggy and Yoshiki climb back up. When they get to the top they notice a whole mess of wreckage.

Iggy: Cool!

There's a ton of dead people and fires from Sector 3. Then they see Larry, Toadstool, and Daisy's dead bodies on fire. Toad throws up.

Toad: ^(%! I did not need to see that!

Yoshiki: Haven't we gone through enough pain!?

Iggy: Oh no!

Iggy starts crying.

Yoshiki: It's ok Iggy. They're in a better place now.

Iggy: Not them! Him!

Iggy points at the Rock.

The Rock: Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?

Iggy: He's alive! We gotta help him!

Toad: No way!

Toad throws a rock at the Rock.

Iggy: Die!

The Rock: Gah!

Anyways, Iggy puts a battery in a conveyor belt socket and once it starts moving it snags on Iggy's pants and drags him up and then around and around.

Iggy: Weeeeeeheheheheeeeee! Dang, stop this crazy thing.

The battery loses its juice and the conveyor belt stops. Iggy is now at the top.

Iggy: Wait, couldn't I have just walked up the conveyor belt? I didn't need that battery! And I still have two extras.

Iggy tosses one of them in the wreckage. Then Toad and Yoshiki catch up.

Toad: Wait foo! We might still need them!

Iggy: Hmmm... I wonder how powerful these are...

Iggy sticks his tongue out. It nears the battery...

Meanwhile, with Cammi's mother...

Mother: Ah crud, I don't have the dough to take care of you.

Dinogirl: Dinogirl want candy.

Mother: Arg!

Suddenly Cammi's mother and Dinogirl see a huge flash in the sky followed by a BOOM!

Faint voice: Ow!

Mother: Ah! My retinas!

Dinogirl: Dinogirl had eyes closed, what happened?

Cammi's Mother opens her eyes and her irises are white.

Mother: Whelp, I'm blind now. What was that?

DinoGirl: DG the Kidd go boom!

Mother: Aww geesh, I am not cleaning any diapers like this.

Back with the gang...

Toad: My eyes!

Yoshiki: Ahhhh!

Both our heroes open up their eyes and their eyeballs are completely whited out.

Toad: Hey. Iggy? Iggy?

Yoshiki: Is Iggy there? Whoah, whoah!

Toad: Yoshiki?

Yoshiki falls off the edge.

Yoshiki: Ahhh!

Toad: Hey! Did you fall off? Who... whoah!

Toad falls off the side too. Iggy is nowhere to be seen. Toad and Yoshiki, however, fall off the wrong side and land in a pool of burning ashes.

Toad: Hey, Iggy, is that you?

Toad and Yoshiki start feeling around for anything.

Narrator: Ahem, BURNING ASHES!

Toad: Nah, it's all right, all the nerves in my legs died years ago.

Anywho, after a lot of searching they finally find Iggy's body and drag him up the wall. Then everyone rubs their eyes until their eyesight comes back, but they still have whited out eyeballs.

Toad: Oh well.

Iggy: Ow, that really hurt...

Meanwhile, in Smash HQ...

Smash: What was that? Staff report!

Ludwig runs in.

Ludwig: Sir, I did some looking around and it looks as if it came from the wall. I think someone set off a huge flash bomb.

Smash: &)(^ no! That thing was huge!

Then some other guy runs in.

Morton: Your majesty, your honor, king, leader, one of higher rank-

Smash: What do you want?

Morton: I have apprehended Roy!

Roy walks in.

Roy: Uh... Goodbye.

Roy jumps out the window.

Smash: Now, about that flash bomb... What do we do about it?

Ludwig: Blame television and call it a night.

Smash: Sounds good to me. Smash puts his feet on his desk.

Morton: But what if it was from the enemy?

Smash: We'll lock this place down tighter than a dairy farm and take no chances of guarding the people.

Morton: Okey doki doki Mr. Captain and other such phrases.

Smash: Shut up.

Meanwhile...

Iggy and co. walk into the Smash building. No alarms are set off and no troops come.

Receptionist: Do you have an appointment?

Toad: No, we are an angry mob bent on killing Smash.

Receptionist: Just a minute.

The receptionist presses a button.

Receptionist: Smash, we have three people here that say they want to kill you, shall I send them up?

Smash: Aw &)^%. Um, tell them to wait in the waiting room.

Receptionist: Ok. Smash will see you in a second. Just wait in that room over there.

Toad: Thank you.

Our heroes go into a room of couches and such and sit down. Toad grabs an Entertainment Weekly and Yoshiki takes a Home and Gardens. Iggy requests a dirty magazine but they assure him they don't have anything like that.

Receptionist: This is a children-safe building.

So Iggy takes out his own stash and passes it out.

Iggy: Yeah!

Receptionist: Hey, you can't do that!

Iggy: Make me stop! Hahaha!

Receptionist: Why you little!

Iggy flips her off.

Iggy: Haha!

Receptionist: Fine, you have forced me to use force!

Iggy: Huh?

Five minutes later...

GAME OVER

Player: Dude, this game stinks.

Meanwhile, with yet another player...

Iggy defeats the receptionist after a hard battle.

Player: Good thing I had a Gameshark, that battle was still hard.

Receptionist: What's that noise?

The ground begins rumbling. Then Toad points at his glass of water. Everyone looks at it. There are ripples of water in it and then the water begins spewing out and the glass falls over.

Iggy: Uh oh.

Ding!

The elevator opens.

Iggy: Oh no!

The janitor comes out.

Iggy: Shew...

Janitor: Geez, there sure was a lot of people going into that other elevator.

Ding!

The other elevator opens and about 100 or so Smash troops run out.

Smash Soldier: Spider!

Then all smash through the front door and jump off the edge of the wall. Then about 50 more come into the waiting room and see an actual spider.

Soldier 1: AWWWWWWW!

They use automatic pistols on it until they run out of ammo.

Soldier 1: Is it dead?

Soldier 2: I think so!

Soldier 1: Victory!

Intercom: Warning! Be on the look out for suspicious looking characters, an Iggy, a Toad, and a Yoshiki of ERUPTION have infiltrated the building.

Soldier 1: ...

Iggy: Uh, hi. My name is Iggy.

Soldier 1: ...

Soldier 2: ...

Soldier 5: ...

Soldier 25: Lunch break!

All the soldiers go outside and fly off the edge of the wall. Then our heroes enter the elevator. Some tacky elevator music plays... Due due da dah du du dah dah... Iggy begins to blush.

Toad: Awwww #^%$#^# what the $%#@#% was that?! P.U.!

Yoshiki: **gag**

The elevator moves slowly and after the tenth floor it begins to drain energy from our heroes.

Iggy: Music... Sapping... Strength... Must... Survive...

Then the door opens and Smash walks inside.

Smash: Ok, level 10 is ok. The spider has been destroyed. Back up to level 69.

Iggy: *Giggle*

Iggy whispers something to Yoshiki.

Yoshiki: (Ok!) *Giggle*

Iggy: So, how did the plan go?

Yoshiki: Fine, he was destroyed, but cops almost found my crack.

Iggy: *Giggle* Yes, I am now going on my mission of killing Smash.

Yoshiki: Yes, I am also trying to kill Smash. I will kill him first!

Iggy: No! My offer is at 1,000 Gil!

The gang does nothing else. Smash walks out as soon as it reaches the top floor and the gang doesn't move. Then it goes back to the bottom.

Iggy: Aw geez! We screwed up by forgetting what to do.

Anyways, afterwards they try to go to the top floor but the computer asks for a security card.

Iggy: I don't need no stupid $#%#$%$# card!

Computer: Invalid response! Resistance is futile.

Iggy rips out the computer and throws it on the ground.

Yoshiki: Aw, geesh! That's the only elevator not in use! We'll have to take the stairs.

The elevator door opens on the bottom floor and our gang walks onto the stairs.

Toad: Ok, we should be able to use the outside glass elevator at level 60...

Iggy: ...

Player: Aw &)*%! Man, )% this! Who made this game?

Our heroes begin the long walk up the stairs.

Iggy: Gee, this is fun.

5.3 seconds later...

Iggy: Aww, geez, we'll never reach the top man!

Yoshiki: *Sigh*

Toad: Dude, we've been walking for five seconds? How many $%@@# stairs does this building have?

5.3 hours later...

Iggy: Aww, geez, we'll never reach the top man!

Yoshiki: *Sigh*

Toad: Dude, we've been walking for five hours? How many $%@@# stairs does this building have?

Iggy: Hey! We reached level 60!

Toad: Ug!

Toad passes out.

Yoshiki: Oy...

Yoshiki goes down too.

Iggy: This better not end in a flashback... Oh...

Iggy falls over too and they eventually slide down the stairs during their black out. They wake up at the very bottom in a pile.

Toad: Awwww, geesh!

Iggy: Not again!

Another 5 hours, 20 minutes and 5 seconds later....

Iggy: We made it! The terminal, which is blocking the door, lights up.

Computer: Please enter ID card to enter.

Iggy: What?!

Computer: Invalid response, please go back to the lobby and get a security card.

Iggy rips out the terminal and throws it down the stairs.

Toad: I say we go back to level 59 and jack up some fools for their security cards.

Everyone: Ok. The gang goes down a level to level 59.

Meanwhile, in Mario Land...

Mario: What's this button do?

Luigi: Don't touch that!

Mario presses a button.

Mario: Whoops.

Back with our heroes...

They open the door to level 59 and a bunch of Koopa Troopas and Goombas are running around.

Iggy: &)^&*%$^! What happened?

Koopa Troopa: What?

Iggy: &*(^%! Like all the Smash soldier's turned into Koopa Troopas!

Koopa Troopa: That's KOOPA TROOPA!

Iggy: *(^& you can't change the plot that much during a story.

Meanwhile, in Lemmy's Land...

Lemmy: Yes I can...

Back in our story...

Yoshiki: What was that?

Lemmy: God.

Yoshiki: Oh.

Iggy: Prove it.

A bolt of lightning bursts through the roof and splits Iggy in half.

Toad: .... Oh &*%^.

Meanwhile, with Smash...

Smash: What the &^^% was that?

Ludwig: The Northern Lights?

Smash: Ok.

Back with our heroes...

Iggy: Uhhh, anyways...

Iggy smacks the Troopa with a wet trout and tosses him down the stairs.

Toad: He didn't have a card.

Go read part 5.

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