Survivor II: The Forever Forest

By Rachelle

Day 1

Mismatch Mass

The Mismatch Mass is still assembled on the beach, uncertain of just where to go.

Iggy: No fair! Why did the Paper Pack get a map?

Spiny: Because they found one in the plane!

Iggy: Well, why didn't we find one?

Ludwig: I would assume that two maps were placed in the vehicle to prevent such a predicament as this.

Goomba: Why was ours hidden so well then?!

Cobrat: Ok, guys-

Cheep Cheep: And girl!

Cobrat: And girl. Calm down, asking stupid questions isn't going to help us.

Ludwig: I concur with Cobrat's theory. We should take an educated guess based on the direction in which the Paper Pack was travelling.

Dino Torch: Well, we should go in the opposite direction as they were heading, right?

Pidgit: Yeah, but what if there are winding turns in the path we're supposed to take? We could get lost! Someone should go ahead as a scout.

Ludwig: Excellent proposal. Pidgit, you take to the air and have a look around. If you perceive anything slightly abnormal, report it to us immediately.

Pidgit: I didn't mean me!

Ludwig: The suggestion was yours, and therefore so was the ownership.

Pidgit, Airline Pilot: The nerve of that Ludwig, trying to boss me around on the first day! Just because I'm perfectly suited for an above ground scouting, and... never mind.

Pidgit flies above the treetops, escalating higher and higher until he can no longer be seen.

Spiny: I hope he gets back soon. Standing around here is no fun at all!

Goomba: It's not supposed to be fun! This is a game about survival.

Ludwig: Hence the title. The player most adequately suited for the journey shall win.

Cobrat: But don't forget; surviving the other members of the mass is the real challenge.

All: ...

Spiny: Too... deep. Can't... focus.

Cobrat: *sigh*

Cobrat, Marksman: Our mass is so disorganized. The only one who seems to have a clue about anything is Ludwig. Maybe I can form an alliance with him and someone else. But who else?

The group waits. And waits. And, for a change of pace, waits some more. After some more waiting, things remain pretty much the same. Dino Torch has taken to chasing the butterflies down the beach. Cobrat is talking to Ludwig, though he seems a little confused at some points. The rest of the mass is staring at the sand.

Spiny: I'm bored.

Cheep Cheep: Really, you mean waiting for hours on end with nothing to do but stare at the sand or watch Dino Torch roast butterflies bores you?

Dino Torch: Resistance is futile, puny insects! Hahahaha!

Iggy: ... He scares me.

Spiny: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's-

Cobrat: No.

Spiny: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles-

Dino Torch: No!

Spiny: This is the song that never ends, yes it goes-

All Besides Spiny: NO!

Spiny, Obstacle: They're all so mean! I was just trying to liven things up a little. Since when is enthusiasm a crime?!

All is quiet. A couple of crickets chirp as they all stare at each other.

Iggy: So, anyone seen any good movies lately?

Paper Pack

Bow: Are you guys sure this is the right way to hold the map? I don't see any of the landmarks.

Kooper: Yeah, there aren't any of those dotted lines on the ground at all!

Goombario: There aren't supposed to be any! They're just there to show us where to go!

Kooper: ... I knew that.

Watt: Well, the North end of the compass picture is always at the top, right?

Goombario: Not always.

Sushie: I'm pretty sure it's upside down. I can't read any of the letters.

Bow: But we've already been over this. The map is supposed to say "II rovivruS" upside-down-like.

Parakarry: When did we agree to that?

Bow: "We" didn't. I agreed for everybody.

Bombette, Demolitions Expert: Bow is starting to get on my nerves. It's probably nothing major yet, but I know her.

Goombario: Let me fix that for you.

Goombario take the map from Bow and flips it around so that the print reads "Survivor II".

Watt: Yay, it's fixed!

Goombario: It wasn't broken, just held the wrong way.

Bombette: You mean we've been travelling in circles all this time?! I could just-

Bow: The map says we go this way, to the left.

Sushie: But that's right into the forest! Are you sure it's the right way up now?

Bow: Positive. The dotted line leads in to the forest and takes a few winding turns before arriving at our campsite.

Goombario: It shouldn't take too long to get there. About an hour, two hours tops.

Goombario, Journalist: Some start we're off to. It's going to be a long 42 days.

Sushie: Did anyone bring a watch or something?

Goombario: Nope, my comfort item was a book.

Parakarry: We were allowed to bring a comfort item?!

Lakilester: Yeah, but I couldn't bring anything because Lemmy said my cloud counted as extra!

Sushie: I guess that's a no, then?

Bow: It looks that way. Oh, we have to make a left turn here.

The group turns left, but keeps on talking.

Bombette: No one told me we were allowed to bring anything.

Kooper: Me either.

Bow: I brought my fan so one of you can fan me off.

Lakilester: Fat chance.

Sushie: I miss Lava Lava Island already.

Watt: Are we there yet?

Mismatch Mass

Spiny: Lookie, Pidgit's coming back!

All look skywards. Sure enough, one rather disgruntled-looking Pidgit is descending. Much to the surprise of the other members, he misses his landing and crashes in the dirt. The others rush to help him up.

Cheep Cheep: Gasp!

Cobrat: Are you all right?

Pidgit: I'm *gasp* fine. Just really *pant* tired.

Dino Torch: How can you be tired when your carpet was doing all the flying?

Pidgit: Psychic powers *wheeze* take a lot of energy to *pant* use. Need to rest.

Dino Torch: Psychic powers?

Pidgit: Zzz...

Goomba, Insurance Salesman: Bah, I'll bet he's just bluffing. Psychic powers, hah!

Iggy: Should we wake him?

Ludwig: Certainly. We require the knowledge of in which direction our temporary residence is situated.

Iggy: What'd he say?

Goomba: I can't tell. He's your brother.

Ludwig: Just wake him!

Iggy: That I understand.

Iggy walks over to Pidgit, who is already snoring happily. He picks him up and abruptly drops him.

Pidgit: Yeowch! What was that for?

Iggy: Sorry, but we need to know what you saw or we could be stuck here for who knows how long.

Pidgit, Airline Pilot: And I was having such a nice dream, too.

Goomba: C'mon, tell us what you saw!

Cobrat: What took so long?

Pidgit: Thermals can be tricky, all right?! Do you want to know what I saw or not?

Dino Torch: Do tell.

Pidgit: Fine. I saw what I think was the Paper Pack heading that way.

Pidgit points down the beach.

Pidgit: And something that could almost have been a campsite that way.

He point down the beach in the opposite direction.

Pidgit: And in the thick of the forest there was some kind of desolate clearing with absolutely no signs of life anywhere.

Cobrat: Well then, it's settled. Good job, Pidgit!

Spiny: To the clearing!

Pidgit: Think maybe we should open that box first?

Dino Torch: What box?

Pidgit: The one from the plane.

Cobrat: Better not yet, we'll open it when we get to the campsite.

The mass makes for the forest, but comes to a stop before stepping into the underbrush upon finding a veritable wall of plant life blocking their way.

Ludwig: Now what? A barricade of flora blocks our path.

Cheep Cheep: I could have told you that.

Dino Torch: Lemme do it!

Ludwig: What could you possibly hope to achieve?

Eagerly pushing his way to the front of the group, Dino Torch opens his mouth and burns the leafy barrier to a pile of charcoal. Unfortunately, this also makes a nearby bush catch fire. He hastily smothers it with his foot
before it can spread anymore.

Iggy: That, I guess.

Dino Torch, Pyromaniac: Ooh, fire! Fun, fun, fun!

Cameraman: You are one disturbed little dinosaur.

Dino Torch, Pyromaniac: Wahahahahahaa!

Paper Pack

Bow: "It shouldn't take too long," he says. "Maybe an hour, two hours tops". That's the last time I listen to you.

Goombario: That was a rough estimate!

Bow, Boo Princess: If I had still been holding the map, we'd have been there by now, but nooo, they had to take it from me!

Kooper: Bombette, it's my turn to hold the map!

Bombette: A big kaboom says it isn't.

Kooper: Pleeeeease? You've had it for hours!

Bombette: Oh, fine. Here you go.

Kooper: Thanks!

Kooper, Curling Stone: My cute appearance and winning personality are sure to be good assets if I'm gonna win! See how easily I won Bombette over?

Bombette, Demolitions Expert: I heard that, you little...

BOOM!

Parakarry: What was that?

Goombario: That weird confetti looks familiar.

Kooper: Ouch. I don't think I want the map anymore.

Bow: I'll take it then.

As Bow grabs the map from Kooper, they hear a funny whistling noise. They look up just in time to see Bombette plummeting from the sky, hitting the ground with a dull *thump*.

Bombette: Oww.

Sushie: You're not made of paper anymore, Bombette.

Bombette: So I noticed.

Bombette, Demolitions Expert: This whole campsite mess is really getting annoying. We should have been there long ago.

Lakilester: Can someone else carry this box? I dunno what's in it, but it's really heavy and- Hey! Wait up!

Watt: Sorry Lakilester, we forgot you were here.

Lakilester, Wannabe: So much for my "staying under the radar" strategy.

Bow: Why are there so many twists and turns on the map? We could easily cut through here and skip a good twenty minutes of walking.

Sushie: Let's do it, then!

Leaving the trail provided by the map, Bow leads the Paper Pack to the right. As they progress the underbrush grows thicker to a point where it's hard to keep going at all. Thorns and poison ivy scratch at their heels (those who have them, that is). The tall trees block most of the light, and it soon becomes hard to see.

Parakarry: Maybe we should go back, guys. Guys?

Sushie: Over here!

Parakarry: I can't see anything but plants!

Using Watt as a flashlight, the gang eventually manages to find Parakarry. However, this does turn them around a few times in the process.

Parakarry: Whew! Thanks, guys.

Watt: We should keep going. Which way, Bow?

Bow: Uh...

As Bow realises what's happening, Sushie suddenly finds herself holding the map. It's still fairly dark, so no one else can see.

Bow: But I don't have the map, Sushie does!

Sushie: Hey!

Goombario: Well, which way do we go?

Squinting her eyes to make it out in the dim light, Sushie carefully examines the map.

Sushie: According to the map... we're lost.

Lakilester: What?! We're not even at the campsite, and we're already lost?

Kooper: You were supposed to be keeping track of where we were going!

Watt: Nice going, Sushie.

Sushie: But I didn't have it until Bow-

Bow: Hey! What's that?

All Except Bow: What?

Bow: Oops, false alarm.

Day 2

Paper Pack

Goombario: C'mon everyone, up and at 'em!

Parakarry: Aw, it's too early for this.

Sushie: *yawn* Is it time to go home yet?

Kooper: Lemme 'lone.

Bow: Zzz...

Watt: I'm awake, I'm awake!

Lakilester: Where are my shades?!

Goombario: I said, "WAKE UP"!

Bombette: Oww, tone it down a little, will you?

Lakilester: They've gotta be around here somewhere.

Parakarry: Your sunglasses are over there, where you dropped them last night before we went to sleep.

Snatching his sunglasses off of the ground, Lakilester puts them back on and turns to Parakarry angrily.

Lakilester: You saw me drop them and you didn't tell me?!

Parakarry: I figured you put them there on purpose.

Lakilester: Since when have you ever known me to willingly take them off?

Parakarry: Uh... never.

Lakilester: My point exactly.

Bow: Zzz...

Goombario: Hey, is anyone listening? We have to get going and set up camp before the first reward challenge!

Watt: When's that?

Goombario: Not for a while, but we are still lost. Who knows how long it'll be before we get out of here?

Bombette: Ahh! Someone wake up Bow!

Producing a megaphone out of seemingly nowhere, Watt places it near Bow.

Watt: WAKE UP!

Bow: Eek! Don't scare me like that!

The rest of the mass stares at her for a moment, then bursts out laughing.

Bombette: Hee hee. Where'd you get that, Watt?

Watt: It's my comfort item.

Kooper: How does a megaphone comfort you?

Watt: It doesn't. I just like playing with it!

Bow: I hate you.

Goombario: Is everyone awake now?

Lakilester: Yeah.

Goombario: Good. Let's go.

Bow: Go where? We're still lost!

Goombario: Give me that map.

Sushie: Here. I don't want it.

Sushie, Nanny: I'm still mad at Bow for framing me last night. It was her who got us lost, not me. I'm probably going to vote her off if we lose the immunity challenge. Whenever that is, and if we ever make it there at all.

Goombario: Gee, this doesn't help at all.

Parakarry: I have an idea!

Bow, Boo Princess: There's a first time for everything, no?

Lakilester: What? What's your idea?

Parakarry: We could use Watt's megaphone to call for help!

Bombette: That's a great idea. Except for one thing: who's going to hear us?

Parakarry: Well, Lemmy's probably wondering why we haven't shown up, right? Maybe he's got the helicopter looking for us.

Cut to wherever Lemmy is.

Lemmy: That's odd. Neither mass has reached their campsite yet.

Cameraman: Should we go look for them?

Lemmy: Nah, they're probably just pacing themselves in a strategic maneuvre to keep at their peak strength for today's reward challenge.

Cameraman: What if they didn't find the maps?

Lemmy: Nonsense, those were hidden in plain sight back on the plane, and they were easy enough to follow. Besides, the other cameramen would have alerted me had something gone wrong. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure.

Cameraman: You're right. Wow, it's only day two and they're already playing smart.

Cut back to the Paper Pack.

Kooper: Your plan didn't work, Parakarry.

Parakarry: Thank you for that. Really, I would never have noticed if you hadn't told me.

Kooper, Curling Stone: I think my standing is pretty good right now. Even Parakarry thinks I'm smart!

Goombario: C'mon, there's a little more light leaking in from somewhere over there! Maybe it'll lead us back to the map's trail. Then we can find our campsite!

Bombette, Demolitions Expert: Somehow, I doubt it'll be all solved that quickly, but it's nice that he wants to motivate us.

The Paper Pack heads off towards the beam of light. It's easy to follow, mainly because the forest itself is still so murky.

Bow: This place needs better lighting. I can hardly see you guys.

Goombario: That's why we have to stick close for the time being. When we get out of this dense forest, we'll spread out again.

Lakilester: Wait for me, this box is slowing me down! Can someone else carry it, please?

Paper Pack: No!

Mismatch Mass

Ludwig: Remind me again exactly why we selected this route?

Spiny: Cuz a deserted clearing will have everything we need! Peace, quiet and... and...

Dino Torch: It'll only be quiet if we leave you behind.

Spiny: And, uh... easy access to fresh air!

Goomba: Do you want fries with that?

Cheep Cheep: We're doomed.

Iggy: Aww, c'mon! Think happy thoughts!

Pidgit, Airline Pilot: Considering what a bunch of morons surround me, I think he's asking way too much.

With Dino Torch leading the way, the rest of the mass moves carefully through the burned remnants of what used to be trees and undergrowth.

Dino Torch: I think we're here!

Goomba: And look, it's a welcoming committee! How thoughtful.

Sure enough, they have reached the clearing. Numerous expensive tents surround what appears to be an unfinished challenge, but it's hard to make out as it's not very far along yet. A few cameramen and a confused Koopaling all turn to stare at Mismatch Mass.

Lemmy: How did you morons ever manage to get this far off-course?

Ludwig: Since we were unable to recover a map to our campsite from the plane, we made use of the information obtained from our scout to determine the best route to pursue. We were able to overcome the natural blockade of plant life by utilizing the fiery influence Dino Torch possesses and soon after arrived at our current location.

Iggy: Uh... what he said.

Lemmy: But I left the maps lying right out in the open!

Ludwig: And by doing so, you deliberately placed our most valuable asset in the last place expected!

Spiny: Yeah, 'cuz we're stupid!

A large anime sweatdrop forms near the rest of the mass' heads.

Spiny: What? WHAT?

Goomba, Insurance Salesman: And we had a good argument going, too.

Lemmy: Well, you shouldn't be here. You're not allowed to see the challenges before they're ready, and this one's not!

After a heated argument over why they should or shouldn't have been able to find what should have been an easy guide, Lemmy finally agrees to give them a lift to their campsite. They are somewhat awkwardly all shoved into the small, logo-plastered helicopter and land a few metres from the campsite, a small clearing in the middle of the forest much like the Paper Pack's.

Lemmy: Okay losers, out!

Eager to get out of the stuffy helicopter, the Mismatch Mass all tumble out and fall in a heap on the sand. The helicopter leaves.

Goomba: Ahh! Off, off!

Cheep Cheep: Can't... breathe.

Spiny: I'm the king of the castle, and you're the- Oof! What was that for?!

Pidgit: You're just annoying me. You guys best get yourselves untangled so we can see what's in that box we lugged all this way!

It takes a few minutes, but the group does eventually disentangle themselves. They brush themselves off and rush over to where Pidgit and Spiny already are: the "pile" of salvaged items.

Cobrat: Let's see. We have a box, a knife and... what the heck is this?

Ludwig: It appears to be a metallic instrument of elongated proportions.

Cheep Cheep: It's a long piece of metal.

Ludwig: Simply put, yes.

Spiny: I brought that!

Cobrat: Well, let's keep it. Who knows, maybe we'll find a use for it.

Goomba: I want to see what's in the box!

Dino Torch: Can I open it?

All Besides Dino Torch: NO!

Dino Torch: Phooey.

Dino Torch, Pyromaniac: I'm going to be out all too quickly if I'm not careful! Of course, I won't let that happen. They will soon realize what an important asset I am when it comes time to build a fire!

Ludwig is the first to try, but the box is shut tight and the lid won't budge. After many failed attempts at everything from using Spiny's piece of metal in an attempt to pry it open to throwing Goomba at it, they eventually give up and sit down, fresh out of ideas.

Dino Torch: *whimper*

Ludwig: All right, you may attempt to open it.

Dino Torch: Yippee!

He rushes at the box, promptly engulfing it in a swirl of flames. When the blaze subsides, the group is shocked to find that the box is still intact. The fire hasn't left even a scratch.

Iggy, Paperweight: That can't be good.

Dino Torch: But... but...

Spiny: Geez, they give us a box of supplies that doesn't open? That wasn't very smart.

Goomba: Maybe the producers think it'll give the show higher ratings?

Cheep Cheep, Athletic Swimmer: Whoever organised this show has got to be the stupidest-

Cameraman: Shut up!

Paper Pack

The Paper Pack is still lost in the dark forest. Kooper is now taking a go at the map, but he isn't having much more success than the others did.

Watt: Are we there yet?

Kooper: Um... soon.

Goombario, Journalist: I don't think he has even the slightest idea of what to do.

Lakilester: Someone else carry this box!

Parakarry: Uh, sure.

He grabs the box and tries to fly with it, but it isn't long before he's lagging behind the others.

Parakarry: HEY! Lakilester, come back here!

Lakilester: How many times do I have to tell you, my name's not Lakilester, it's Spike!

Parakarry: Well, whatever. Take the box; I can't carry it any further.

Lakilester: But, uh, my cloud looks tired! It needs a rest!

Bow: It always looks like that.

Lakilester: You're just not looking hard enough! I can tell what it's feeling, and it's feeling tired.

Bow: Lakilester, it's a cloud, not a Clubba.

Lakilester: I told you, my name's SPIKE! And it does too have feelings!

Goombario: Just carry it, all right? You're the only one who won't get tired from carrying it.

Lakilester, Wannabe: They're all against me!

Lakilester: Well... you gotta promise to wait up, ok?

Bombette: If it'll make you stop whining.

The pack stops short as an ear-splitting shriek is heard.

Goombario: Who was that?

Looking around, they see Bow, who has moved ahead and seems to have run into a Piranha Plant.

Bow: Erm. Niiiiice Piranha Plant.

Bombette: Oh come ON. Don't tell me you're scared of that.

Bow: Uh, of course not! It just surprised me, popping out of the ground like that.

The Piranha Plant lunges to take a bite, but receives instead a smack in the face. It falls back, stunned. Taking out her fan, Bow proceeds to beat the toothy plant senseless.

Bow: Take that, you creep!

Parakarry: I guess now we know why we were supposed to stay on the trail.

Bow, Boo Princess: Whew! I almost lost it there! The next person to sneak up on me will wish they'd never- EEK!

Parakarry, Mailman: Bow's sure jumpy today.

Bow: Why you!

(Sounds of a scuffle in the background as the camera pans over to the rest of the group.)

Kooper: Look! Light!

They quicken the pace. Sure enough, the small beam of light gives way to a small clearing. A flag with the words "Paper Pack" emblazoned on it flutters slightly, but it seems to be the only thing there. Lakilester happily tosses the heavy box to the ground, while the rest just stare.

Bow: This is it?

Goombario: I guess we'll have to make due.

Bombette: We should build a shelter or something.

Goombario: Good idea. Kooper, you, Watt, and Sushie go collect some sticks. Bow, you and Parakarry pick some tree leaves. I'll stay here with Bombette and build a shelter with the materials you bring us.

Watt: Don't we get to take a rest first?

Goombario: You'll be happy when this is all out of the way, trust me.

Watt: If you say so.

Watt, Electrician: Why can't we rest first? We do have all day.

Goombario, Journalist: No we don't, there's still the reward challenge.

Watt, Electrician: Stupid reward challenge.

After quite a long session of hard work (You didn't think we'd waste all that air time on that, did you?), the Paper Pack has managed to put together a makeshift shelter, complete with thatched roof and a cute little window.

Goombario: Not bad!

Lakilester: It is pretty sweet.

Suddenly noticing how dark it's getting, the Paper Pack retreats in to the newly-constructed shelter and quickly fall asleep.

Day 3

Mismatch Mass

Spiny: Hey, you guys?

Cheep Cheep: Wha? Why are you up this early? Go back to sleep.

Spiny: I've just realized something.

Cheep Cheep: What might that be?

Spiny: We haven't eaten at all since we left the plane.

Cheep Cheep, Athletic Swimmer: Augh! We haven't thought to eat in days, and it takes the mass moron to remember?

Cheep Cheep: Oh. Yeah.

Spiny: Maybe we should tell the rest of the mass?

Cheep Cheep: No, I get the feeling they wouldn't appreciate being woken at this hour. We'll tell them later.

Spiny: All right.

Cheep Cheep: I'm obviously not getting back to sleep now.

Spiny: I'm bored.

Cheep Cheep: Just as long as you don't start singing again.

Spiny: Aww. Maybe we could try to open that box again.

Cheep Cheep: Yeah! If we could open that, our standing would probably rise significantly.

So they do. More stomping, tossing, whacking, and prying, but the crate still remains intact. Spiny and Cheep Cheep give up and shortly before Iggy wakes up and joins them.

Iggy: What are you two doing up so early?

Spiny: Trying to open the crate. We couldn't sleep.

Iggy: Oh. What time is it?

Cheep Cheep: How should we know? It's not like there's a clock around here.

Iggy, Paperweight: Don't laugh! I'm just not fully awake yet.

Iggy: Oh yeah. *yawn* Y'know, we really oughta build some sort of shelter.

Cheep Cheep: Now that you mention it, the ground was rather uncomfortable.

Spiny: Not to mention cold!

Iggy: Hey, why don't we go gather some wood or something. Then we'd have something to work with come morning.

Spiny: There's no way I'm going into the forest before the sun comes out!

Iggy: We're in the forest already.

Spiny: Yeah, but at least I can see the stars from here.

Cheep Cheep: What, are you scared?

Spiny: Yes!

Iggy: I'll go then.

Cheep Cheep: Me too.

Spiny: And leave me all alone?

Cheep Cheep: Just come ON!

Iggy and Cheep Cheep set of in to the forest, dragging Spiny with them. It's much later by the time they return, bringing as many fallen logs and leaves as they can carry.

Spiny: I told you not to turn left!

Iggy: You be quiet. We made it out, didn't we?

Spiny: But you got us lost!

Cheep Cheep: Well, you didn't have any better ideas.

Spiny, Obstacle: I did so! I distinctly said, "Don't go left! It looks scary!". But did they listen to me? Noooo.

Setting the pile down, they turn around and nearly bump into Cobrat, who is in front of the rest of the mass.

Cobrat: And just where were you three? We've been looking for you since dawn!

Cheep Cheep: We were searching for building materials!

Cobrat: You should have waited until everyone else was awake!

Iggy: Hey, you wanna sleep on the cold ground for another night?!

Ludwig: If I did not know any better, I'd suspect that you were planning something.

Cheep Cheep: No! We couldn't sleep.

Dino Torch: So you say.

Iggy: It's true! Tell them, Spiny.

Spiny: It was all their idea! They made me do it!

Iggy and Cheep Cheep: ...

Paper Pack

Bow, Boo Princess: When we woke up this morning, there was one thought that pretty much dominated our minds: food.

Parakarry: We have not eaten in two days, mostly on account of our inability to remember the importance of food, but also because we just haven't come across any.

Goombario: Guys, I think we should split up and see if we can find some food.

Lakilester: What about that huge box I was forced to carry all the way here?

Goombario: Or we could open the big box and see if there's any food in it.

Thinking this a good idea, they gather round the large wooden crate. Locating the easy-open tab, they rip it off and have little difficulty prying it open to reveal its contents.

Sushie, Nanny: When we opened the box, we found a first aid kit, some canned food, rice, and eight blue bandanas with our mass name on it. Though we were happy about the bandanas and the fact that we did have food, we couldn't even eat it!

Goombario: Hmm, the rice is no good until we can build a fire.

Sushie: And how do we open the cans?

Everyone is quiet, apparently deep in thought. Bow seems to have an idea, and whispers something to Goombario. This is quietly passed on to Watt, Bombette, Sushie, and Lakilester. All eyes turn to Parakarry and Kooper, who are by now becoming very uncomfortable from all of the less-than-subtle whispering.

Parakarry: G-guys? Why are you looking at us that way?

Kooper: Did I do something wrong?

Bombette: You know how we're all starving, and we need something to open the cans with?

Kooper: Yeah.

Watt: And how a large, hard surface would probably be the best way we have to open them right now?

Parakarry: Hey, I see where you're going with this! You leave me alone!

With Parakarry flying out of reach, Kooper is left vulnerable. The pack then enjoys a nice, if somewhat small, meal of canned peaches, which they achieve by banging the can up against Kooper's shell until the can caves in.

Watt: Mmm, peaches!

Kooper, Curling Stone: Oww, my aching shell. Is that all I am to them, an anvil?!

Finishing his three peach slices early, Parakarry pulls Kooper to the side.

Parakarry: Kooper, I think we need to start thinking smart. If we're going to stay in this game, we'll need to form an alliance.

Kooper: Yeah! But how are two votes going to make any difference?

Parakarry: They won't. But I've already recruited Bow and Goombario. They say they're willing, and the others have no idea!

Kooper: That's great! I was getting worried for a while. Who are we voting off first?

Parakarry: We're not sure yet, but the challenge is today. We'll try our hardest obviously, but if we do lose, we'll have to be ready.

Kooper: But who are we going to vote off?

Parakarry: No sir, they're not going to catch us unprepared! We'll kick them all out and slowly but surely eliminate the rest of the Mismatch Mass come time for the merge.

Kooper: That's really good that you're thinking so far ahead. But I ask again, who are we voting off? Are we going to have a conference or something?

Parakarry: We can't talk any more right now; I think the others are getting suspicious. I'll leave first, then you slowly wander back so it doesn't seem like we were together.

Kooper: But-

It's no use, because Parakarry leaves and joins the rest of the mass before he can finish the question. Kooper returns a minute or two later. The nest time he gets the chance, Kooper nudges Bow.

Kooper: Who are we voting off if we lose the immunity challenge? I talked to Parakarry, but I couldn't get anything out of him.

Bow: We're not sure yet. Just keep a close watch on the other four and we'll decide when the time comes.

Watt: Hey! Who's he?

Turning around, the pack is surprised to find some guy. He looks pretty clued out.

Guy: Are you the Paper Pack?

Goombario: That's us!

Guy: Oh, then I have a message for you, in the from of a corny poem. It's about the challenge tonight, so listen up!

You've made it through the first two nights,
But don't get cocky yet.
This challenge won't be easy,
So you'd better be all set.

Teamwork is required here.
A bubbling lake, a burning ember,
You'll get burnt if you're not careful.
Make it across with all your members!

Bow: What the heck are you talking about? Hot water?

Guy: Sorry, you'll have to figure that out yourself. Goodbye!

The guy leaves.

Kooper, Curling Stone: This game is so confusing.

Mismatch Mass

Pidgit, Airline Pilot: Ludwig, Dino Torch, and Cobrat are still mad at Iggy, Cheep Cheep and Spiny for stowing away to get supplies this. I don't really see what the problem is. If they want to help the mass during their
insomnia, why not let them?

Ludwig: You should have informed the remaining members. You almost induced a heart attack when we realised you had vanished!

Dino Torch: Yeah!

Cheep Cheep: But we were helping you guys!

Cobrat: But we didn't know that! For all we knew you could have been carried off by rabid Wrigglers!

Dino Torch: Yeah!

Iggy: We're sorry, all right?!

Cheep Cheep, Athletic Swimmer: Geez, see if we ever do anything helpful again.

Ludwig: Sorry is insufficient! We were really very worried!

Iggy: You have a funny way of showing it.

Dino Torch: Yeah! Uh, I mean...

Spiny: I'm not here.

Pidgit: Just let it go! They didn't do anything wrong.

Cobrat: But they could have-

Goomba: You're just cranky from lack of food. That's what we should really be focusing on.

Ludwig: Perhaps Pidgit is right. We would be wiser to concentrate on obtaining some foodstuff.

Cheep Cheep: And building a shelter.

Cobrat: Well...

Iggy: Come on, we're wasting all our energy on fighting! Don't you want to have something to sleep in tonight?

Cheep Cheep: Besides, we found something that would really come in useful while we were gathering that stuff.

Ludwig: What?

Iggy: A watering hole! And it's not far off, either!

Goomba: How far?

Cheep Cheep: About five minutes away. That is, if we can find our way back.

Cobrat: What do you mean, "if"?

Cheep Cheep: It was pretty dark when we found it.

Spiny: No, I found it!

Iggy: By falling into it.

Spiny: But I still found it.

Pidgit: Let's just go.

Cheep Cheep and Iggy try to remember the way back, but it takes them about half the day to find the right place. No one else really cares though, because the sight of water makes everything else seem trivial. They all dive in, though Dino Torch seems hesitant. His thirst eventually gets the better of him and he jumps in like the rest.

Spiny: I could stay here forever.

Ludwig: Unfortunately, we don't have that much time. We really should get back to the camp and set up some sort of establishment.

Spiny: Aww.

They're able to find their way back much easier, and they do make it in about ten minutes. However, before they can do anything, they are surprised to notice that a man is standing in the middle of their campsite.

Iggy: Who are you?

Guy: I'm here to tell you about the immunity challenge tonight! Listen carefully, because you'll need this information if you want to win. Ahem.

You've made it through the first two nights,
But don't get cocky yet.
This challenge won't be easy,
So you'd better be all set.

Teamwork is required here.
A bubbling lake, a burning ember,
You'll get burnt if you're not careful.
Make it across with all your members!

Bye now, and remember what you've just heard!

The guy leaves.

Spiny: Huh?

Challenge

The masses are assembled at a large lake, apparently filled with lava. In the middle of the lake is a small island. They look mostly bored, with the possible exception of Bow, who just looks ticked off.

Lemmy: Well, well. You've survived the first night, I see.

Ludwig: Just barely.

Lemmy: Yes. But if there's one thing you all want, I bet I can guess what it is.

Ludwig: FOOD!!!

All pause for a moment to stare at Ludwig, who blushes noticeably.

Lemmy: Right, food. But, I'm sure you've all discovered by now that it's not so easy to get.

"Oohs" and "Aahs" from the masses as Lemmy holds up the prize: a bundle of waterproof matches.

Lemmy: You will need these very much if you want to eat anything cooked. Besides, this challenge is also for immunity.

Kooper: What's wrong with uncooked rice?

All But Kooper: Blech!

Lemmy: To win this as of yet invaluable prize and the immunity idol will not be easy. As you can see, there is a large lake over there, filled with lava. At the edge of the lake, you'll find six stones, three for each mass. Using these stones, you must make it to the small island in the middle of the lake. On the island, there's a lump of still-burning charcoal. What you need to do is have your whole mass make it to the other side with the coal, using those rocks as a bridge. First mass to completely make it over to the other side wins.

Kooper: But how-

Lemmy: Losers ready? Go!

The masses are off, but they come to a screeching halt at the lava. Picking up the stones, they wonder what to do.

Goombario: Here, give me one of those!

Goombario tosses the first stone into the lava, creating a stepping-stone, which he jumps on to. Getting the idea, Parakarry takes the other two stones and drops them of equal distance apart father on. The Paper Pack begins to advance, slowly but surely.

Dino Torch: Hey! They're getting ahead of us!

Cobrat: No, they're not!

The Mismatch Mass begins to use the same strategy, catching up before the Paper Pack can figure out what to do next. Pidgit begins to airlift a few of the members to the island, but it's a slow process as he can only carry one member at a time. Dino Torch merely swims through the lava to the island, grabbing the ember in his mouth and taking it to the far side of the lake.

Dino Torch: Yes, we've won!

Lemmy: No you haven't. The rest of your mass still needs to make it across.

Dino Torch: Drat.

Precariously balancing on the rocks, the Paper Pack isn't making much progress until Lakilester begins to transport them over to the island. This again is a long and tiring process. Parakarry flies ahead, but the glowing coal is too hot to handle. He retreats back to the rest of the group. The players on the rock closest to the shore make a jump for the second, leaving one rock now free. Lakilester makes sure they don't fall in, and not a moment too soon. Using this process, the Paper Pack eventually makes it to the island with all of their members.

Watt: Uh oh, we're out of rocks!

As Lakilester, Bow, Watt and Parakarry backtrack for the rocks left behind, we see that the Mismatch Mass has been more careful with their rocks. With Pidgit and Dino Torch picking up each rock as it becomes free, they have been able to make it almost all the way to the other side.

Bow: Gah! Hurry up, hurry up!

Parakarry: We're... trying.

Bow: Faster!

Lakilester: We'll never make it!

Rushing back to the island with the rocks, Parakarry and the other fliers make double time as they struggle to catch up. Lakilester grabs the hot ember and tries his best not to touch it as he uses his cloud to carry it
across. The groups are now neck and neck as they race for the shore, as quickly as they can while still being careful not to fall in to the lava. Finally, the Paper Pack makes it across and meet up with Dino Torch. With
the rest of the Mismatch mass not far from the shore, the Paper Pack waits anxiously for Lakilester to return with the ember.

Dino Torch: Come on guys, you can do it!

Bombette: Lakilester!

Lakilester is catching up fast, and it looks as if the Paper Pack might very well be the first ones to take the immunity idol back to camp. Alas, in his haste, Lakilester doesn't notice that the ember is slipping off of his
cloud. It drops into the lava.

Lemmy: The Paper Pack can no longer continue. Victory to the Mismatch Mass!

Cheering, the Mismatch Mass grabs both the matches and the idol and leave happily. The Paper Pack groans and leaves in utter defeat, Lakilester trailing behind hesitantly.

Mass Massacre

Lemmy: Well, Paper Pack, we meet again. Tonight, if you survive the voting, you will leave with the satisfaction of having survived the first Mass Massacre. If not, you will be asked to leave.

Kooper: And if we refuse?

Lemmy: Then I'll add extra gunpowder to the cannon!

Kooper: Excuse me, cannon?

Lemmy: So maybe I was lying when I said you'd be "asked" to leave. In any case, is there anyone here who has some steam they'd like to vent?

Lakilester: I was really annoyed when I had to carry that big box the whole way to the campsite, because it took such a long time and no one believed me about my cloud getting tired.

Lemmy: Yes, we all know how aggravating it must be to have a tired... cloud. Anyone here with a more optimistic opinion?

Watt: Well, I didn't see why nobody liked the dark. It wasn't so bad.

Kooper: I learned that the dotted lines on maps aren't really on the ground too!

Lemmy: Uh, that's great. Bow?

Bow: Zzz...

Lakilester gives Bow a nudge.

Bow: 49!

Lemmy: Never mind. If you look behind you, you'll see a lit staff for each of you. Your staff represents you, as a member of the mass. If you are voted off, your staff will be extinguished and you will leave via the cannon. Any questions?

Bombette: Do we get complimentary bags of nuts on our cannon flight?

Lemmy: No. Well, let's get to the voting. Goombario, you go first.

Goombario goes to vote.

Kooper goes to vote.

Kooper: I can't vote with my alliance, because we never decided on who to vote for! My vote goes to Bombette, and I only hope that the rest of the alliance voted the same way.

Parakarry goes to vote.

Bow goes to vote.

Bow: I'm voting for myself. I can't stand this place any longer!

Watt goes to vote.

Sushie goes to vote.

Sushie: I was going to vote for Bow, because she framed me back in the forest. But it was Lakilester's fault that we didn't win the challenge.

Lakilester goes to vote.

Lakilester: I don't really know who to vote for, so I'm doing this alphabetically, but I'm skipping Bombette because she hasn't really annoyed me yet. I'm sorry, Bow.

Bombette goes to vote.

Lemmy: I'll go tally the votes. Once they have been read, the decision is absolute and the person with the most votes will have to leave immediately.

Lemmy leaves to retrieve the vote bucket and returns shortly after. He pulls out a ballot and reads the name inscribed on it.

Lemmy: The first vote goes to... Bow. The second vote goes to... Bombette. The third goes to... Bow. The fourth vote goes to... Lakilester. The fifth vote goes to... Lakilester. The sixth vote goes to... Lakilester. The seventh vote goes to... Bow. The seventh vote goes to...

Dramatic music plays as Lemmy slooooowly unfolds the last vote. He is about to read it, but accidentally fumbles and drops it.

Lemmy: Oops, sorry about that.

He bends over to pick the dropped ballot up. The camera pans over Lakilester, who is nervously biting his nails, and Bow, who is frantically fanning herself off. The music continues to play, growing more suspenseful.

Lemmy: And the first person to leave the forest is... Lakilester. Lakilester, I need you to bring me your torch.

Lakilester: Aww, man. Here.

Lemmy: Now, normally I'd be extinguishing your flame right now, but in keeping with last season's theme, you now have the option to crack your stick over the head of the person you feel is most responsible for your
being voted off.

Clutching his staff, Lakilester stops for a moment before cracking his staff over Parakarry's head. Parakarry lands on the ground with a thud.

Parakarry: Oww.

Lakilester: That's for not carrying that big box when I needed a break!

Lemmy: Time to go, Lakilester.

Lemmy indicates the huge cannon, placed beside him and yet somehow unnoticed until now.

Lakilester: Spike! My name is SPIKE!

Lemmy: Whatever you say. Get in there.

Laki- I mean, Spike, floats into the cannon.

Lemmy: Lakilester, the mass has spoken.

Lemmy lights the fuse, and Lakilester is blasted in to the night sky with a deafening bang. His voice can be heard as he sails away ("My name's Spiiiiiiiiiiiike!") until he is nothing more than a tiny dot and crashes into Cookie Mountain.

Lemmy: Oops, looks like I'll have to re-aim that next time.

Lemmy turns around solemnly to face the rest of the Paper Pack.

Lemmy: Well, the good news is that you've all survived the first Mass Massacre. The bad news is that you are now short one member, which may or may not leave you at a sight disadvantage come the next challenge. You can go now, so cheer up a little!

The group sighs, and begins to blaze the long trail back to camp.

Lemmy: Bow, the staff stays here!

Bow: Aww.

The camera shows a brief shot of the medics rushing in Lakilester's direction, and the credits roll.

Who voted for who?

Goombario: Lakilester (was his fault they lost the challenge)
Kooper: Bombette (blew up on him)
Parakarry: Lakilester (was his fault they lost the challenge)
Bow: Bow (hates this place)
Watt: Lakilester (was whining too much)
Sushie: Bow (was mad for being framed)
Lakilester: Bow (alphabetical order, didn't want to vote off Bombette)
Bombette: Lakilester (cloud argument was pathetic)

Lakilester, Wannabe, on being voted off: Well, I guess it was my fault that we lost the immunity challenge, so I suppose I deserved it. If I ever get out of this body cast, I'll still be cheering my team on. Oh, and for the
last time, my name is Spike! Do you hear me, SPIKE!

Read on!

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