Round 3 (Sweet 16): Part 1
Crazy Packers Fan: We’re finally back
here for Mario Madness, as it's seemed like forever since last week.
Here are the third round matchups:
Mario/Koopas
#1 Roy vs #13 Mario
#3 Daisy vs #7 Yoshi
SMW Minions
#1 Chargin’ Chuck vs #13 Porcu-Puffer
#3 Banzai Bill vs #2 Sumo Brother
SMB3 Minions
#1 Tony vs #5 Boom Boom
#3 Fiery vs #7 Thwomp
Super Koopas
#1 Misty Koopa vs #5 Rachelle
#3 Lord Seth vs #10 Sandslash
And let’s begin with the-
Lemmy: Hold on, hold on! I’m filing a real protest!
Crazy Packers Fan: Protest? Protest what?
Lemmy: I was the rightful winner of my race with Yoshi, because if you’ll recall, I was in first when we both fell to the ground.
Crazy Packers Fan: True, very true. Let’s have my judge panel here decide. They are very intellectual Koopas who will contemplate this decision wholeheartedly.
(Crazy Packers Fan points to Roy and Larry, who are having a food fight at their table.)
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, what’s the decision?
Roy: What decision?
Crazy Packers Fan: Let me explain.
After the explanation...
Roy: Yoshi is the definite winner!
Larry: Lemmy wins for sure!
Crazy Packers Fan: I knew it. All right, I have one other board member, where is he?
Mr. Game & Watch: Beep, beep, beep!
Crazy Packers Fan: Please stop. Now
from what I’ve said about this argument, who wins, #2 Lemmy or #7
Yoshi?
(Mr. Game & Watch uses his Judgement attack, and a #7 appears, as well as some food.)
Larry: All right, more food!
Crazy Packers Fan: Yoshi wins!
Lemmy: Oh, sure, you’re making this choice from these two morons and a flat guy!
Crazy Packers Fan: Well, that’s who’s on the panel, and I can’t change it now! Yoshi remains the winner!
Yoshi: Yay! But Yoshi want food.
Crazy Packers Fan: That’s not how to say it!
Yoshi: Oh! Yoshi forget! Now Yoshi remember! Yoshi still hungry!
Crazy Packers Fan: Now we’re going to go in a little bit of reverse direction here, by starting with the Super Koopas. First up is, #1 Misty Koopa vs #5 Rachelle! To have some analysis of this match-up, I need some assistance from Roy and Larry.
Roy: From watching the previous matches, I can easily see that Rachelle has the edge in this battle.
Larry: Your thoughts betray you, Roy. You know that Misty will win. You can feel it, and so can I.
Roy: Stop trying those stupid mind tricks! They only work on stupid morons.
Larry: Why else would I try them on you?
Crazy Packers Fan: The matches of this
round will be races through Super Mario Bros. 3 levels, with a few
“extras” added to them, and they will
be transported to the levels through warp pipes. This match will be in
World 3-8, the horrible second Boss Bass level!
Misty: You always pick the hard ones just because I’m in it!
Crazy Packers Fan: Actually, this is one of the easier ones in this tournament. Seriously!
Rachelle: Any special rules to it?
Crazy Packers Fan: No. In fact, take
advantage of any power-ups you can collect along the way, as they may
be your only hope of surviving. The
first to hit the card wins! We’ll all watch from the big Jumbotron here
at Wario Stadium to see who wins! Are you ready?
Rachelle: Sure.
Misty: Not really, but I can’t do anything about it.
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
Rachelle and Misty jump into the warp
pipe, and they come out in World 3-8. They jump over the first high
platform onto one with a Troopa between
two blocks.
Misty: I remember how to do this.
Misty kicks the shell so it hits the block with a vine inside. The vine sprouts and Misty starts to climb. Rachelle tries to follow, but the tide pulls her into the water, with Boss Bass swimming by.
Rachelle: This entire tournament is flashing before my eyes...
The Boss Bass swims closer...
Rachelle: Wait a minute... this isn’t a shark attack! It’s only a pathetic fish.
Rachelle spits a fireball at the Boss Bass, defeating it. Just then, the platforms start to rise out of the water again.
Rachelle: That was quick thinking.
Misty jumps off the vine, but she finds herself now trailing Rachelle in the race.
Misty: I play the way it’s supposed
to be played, and it gets me behind in the race! Maybe I can use one of
those tricks to my advantage this time...
As the two racers jump on to a platform
with a 10-Coin Block over it, Misty catches up to Rachelle, then she
ducks into her shell and knocks Rachelle
off the platform.
Rachelle: What was that?
Fortunately for Rachelle, she was knocked onto another platform, putting her farther ahead.
Misty: How come all of the tricks are backfiring on me?
Both racers charge forward as the water subsides.
Rachelle: This time I’ll get the vine!
Rachelle jumps underneath a brick and
makes a vine appear. Then she climbs up it as the tide gets high
again.
Rachelle: That might clinch the race for me!
Rachelle looks over to her left to see Misty on a different vine, just one platform behind.
Misty: I’m not out yet!
The tide goes down again, and both charge ahead as fast as possible. Rachelle is able to make it to the lower level of a split platform, while Misty is on the top, the safer and faster route.
Rachelle: Uh oh...
Misty starts running as fast as possible. Unfortunately, a brick wall stands in front of her, and she can’t stop!
Misty: Oh no!
Just then, Rachelle hits the Switch
Block below, not knowing that if she would have not hit it, Misty would
have been surely knocked out. Misty
is able to run through a newly-formed wall of coins and make it into the
exit pipe, just ahead of Rachelle.
Misty: Wow! A win... for me!
As she climbs out of the pipe, Rachelle comes up underneath her and knocks her over. Rachelle then jumps over Misty and hits the card first.
Rachelle: I win!
Crazy Packers Fan: Rachelle is the winner!
Misty: Cheater!
Rachelle: It’s all in the game!
Crazy Packers Fan: Rachelle becomes
the first member of the Elite Eight, and she will challenge the next
match-up’s winner for the Super Koopas
championship! Of course, that next match-up is a beauty, being...
Roy: #3 Lord Seth vs-
Larry: #10 Sandslash!
Crazy Packers Fan: And this is one that
will need heavy analyzing to correctly predict the victor of the
competition, right?
Roy: Easy pick! Lord Seth!
Larry: Look, I know I’ve been wrong for the last five times, dating back to last week, but I just know Sandslash will pull it out, because he’s got that charisma... that strength... that character... that-
Roy: You have no excuse for that poor pick! Get the battle on!
Crazy Packers Fan: This race will be aboard Roy’s doomship! The first one into Roy’s cabin wins!
Lord Seth: Sounds pretty simple... no rules, right?
Crazy Packers Fan: Right.
Sandslash: I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life... well, at least a few months, ever since I got kicked off the Super Koopas team in The Mushroom Games and this guy took my place!
Crazy Packers Fan: Are you ready?
Lord Seth: Yes!
Sandslash: Let’s go!
Crazy Packers Fan: Go!
The two racers hop in the pipe and appear on the front deck of Roy’s doomship. They start running as fast as possible, jumping over the first cannon and Rocket Engine.
Lord Seth: My teleporting isn’t going to get me very far, and it may drop me off in a bad place. But I know a way to get a quick lead on this guy.
Suddenly, a lightning bolt hits Sandslash.
Sandslash: Ouch! Ow! What a hit!
Lord Seth: That might win it right there!
Sandslash: Ha ha ha! I’m a ground-type, so electricity doesn’t hurt me!
Lord Seth: Oops...
Sandslash takes a small lead, climbing up past two metallic cannons part of a metal wall. Lord Seth follows closely behind.
Sandslash: Now for something more!
Sandslash hits a ? Block and a Fire Flower appears. He grabs it and starts tossing fireballs... at Lord Seth!
Lord Seth: Time to start trying... I’ll just use my invincibility for protection!
With Lord Seth invincible, he starts dashing through the “Gauntlet” part of Roy’s doomship, the part with eight metal cannons and two Bullet Bill Blasters.
Sandslash: Rats! Wait, what’s that?
A new ? Block is set up in front of
the “Gauntlet” part of the doomship. Sandslash jumps to hit it, and a
Starman appears.
Sandslash: My only hope!
Sandslash dramatically and desperately
dives for the Star, but it bounces past him and lands right on Lord
Seth!
Sandslash: Arrrrgh! What a bad break!
Lord Seth: I’ve got double invincibility!
A Bullet Bill heads right for Lord Seth, and he runs as fast as possible right into it.
BOOM!!!
Lord Seth is knocked over by the Bullet Bill.
Lord Seth: Ouch! What happened to my invincibility?
Sandslash runs past Lord Seth laughing, and he jumps into the pipe to Roy’s cabin.
Sandslash: At last I have revenge!
Crazy Packers Fan: Sandslash wins!
Roy stares at the big screen, stunned. He’s so shocked, in fact, that he can’t even talk.
Larry: Didn’t you know that a Starman will cancel out invincibility if your previous invincibility wasn’t from a Starman?
Roy just stares, shocked as ever.
Crazy Packers Fan: How about this big
upset? Sandslash, wanting revenge for The Mushroom Games, has
finally found it on the hardest doomship
of all! Somehow he finds himself in the Elite Eight up against Rachelle!
Larry: Finally! A correct pick! How about that, Roy?
Roy continues his blank stare at the Jumbotron’s screen.
Crazy Packers Fan: This sets up for
a huge match-up in two weeks, but next week we’ll continue this third
round. I will have the popular choice
for this round’s winners finalized on Tuesday, when the poll ends. Then
the picks will be sealed.
Larry: I can’t wait for more of these races! How about you, Roy?
Roy, as you’d guess, doesn’t say a word. He just stares at that huge screen.
Crazy Packers Fan: Hmm... Ludwig forgot
to provide warp pipes for those racers to get back here, as
always with him. Well, they’ll find
their way back here some way. Until next time, so long for Mr. Game &
Watch, Larry, Roy, and I, and we’ll
see you here next week for the second half of round three of Mario Madness!