>>Team Golf<<
Ella: Neil! Wake up!
Neil: But I don’t want to go to school today, Mommy!
Ella: WHAT?
Neil: Huh? What is it, Ella?
Ella: It’s Lemmy. He wants us in the lobby.
Neil: Okay! Let’s go! … After I take a little nap.
Ella: WAKE UP!
Neil: AAHH!
>>Team Princess<<
Peach: Daisy! I’m sorry to interrupt your royal sleep, but…
WHACK! Daisy hits Peach with her royal pillow.
Daisy: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET BEAUTIFUL IF YOU WAKE ME UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
Peach: *picks ear* Do you have to scream? Lemmy wants us.
>>Team Golf<<
Neil: We’re here, Daddy!
Lemmy: WHAT? Forget it.
Ella: What is it? Where’s Light Mario?
Lemmy: You need to leave for the second leg. And Light Mario is at the end of the leg.
Ella: WHAT? Already? Why this late?
Lemmy: The rules state that as soon as you check in at the pit stop, if you aren't eliminated, you leave for the next leg twelve hours later.
Ella: WHAT?
Lemmy: STOP SCREAMING WHAT!
Light Mario: For those of you who aren’t
familiar with the current ranks, I’ll show the leaderboard.
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6 |
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11 |
12 |
13 |
| 11. Team
Golf
(Neil/Ella) |
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| 12. Team
Princess
(Peach/Daisy) |
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| 13. Team
Mario
(Mario/Luigi) |
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| 14. Team
Cute
(Yoshi/Birdo) |
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| 15. Team
Sludge
(Petey Piranha/King Boo) |
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| 16. Team
Queen
(Wendy/Clawdia) |
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| 17. Team
Toad
(Toad/Toadette) |
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| 18. Team
Kisses
(Susan/Larry) |
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| 19. Team
Ape
(DK/Diddy) |
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| 10. Team Cheat
(Wario/Waluigi) |
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| 11. Team Koopa
(Bowser/Jr) |
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| 12. Team Bean
(Cackletta/Fawful) |
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Lemmy: It’s almost 4:56 AM. When I wave my wand in the air, you will open this clue and head to the first Route Marker. Any questions?
Neil: I love Ella’s smiley…
Neil wakes up completely and finds himself in a spot of trouble.
Neil: … Cookies! You know, with the little smiley faces on them…
Ella: …
Lemmy: … Ready… set… GO!
>>Team Golf-1st to start<<
Ella: *rip* Go to the bio of the Koopaling who hates fireballs.
Lemmy: The teams must go to Larry’s Bios and find the bio on Roy Koopa. There, they will find the next clue.
Neil: Thanks! We’ll be on our way!
Lemmy: Huh?
Ella: You said where the clue was out loud!
Lemmy: Rats!
Ella: Taxi!
No taxis come.
Ella: TAXI!
A taxi slowly pulls up to Ella.
Lemmy: WHERE WERE YOU?
Driver: Taxi Service doesn’t cover late night passengers.
Lemmy: I’ll give you and your buddies 100 coins each if you do it anyway.
Driver: My buddies and I might get fired, but for 100 coins, we’ll do it! *picks up radio* Hey, guys! I got a deal here in Mario vs. Reality! Yeah, 100 coins!
Ten taxis pull up instantly.
Ella: Talk about service! Let’s take this one!
VROOM!
>>Team Princess-2nd to start<<
Peach: Okay, Lemmy! We’re here!
Lemmy: Here’s your first clue for the second leg. Open in three… two… one… NOW!
Daisy: *rip* Okay… got that… okay! Tax… oh!
VROOM!
>>Team Mario-3rd to start<<
Mario: We made it, Lemmy!
Lemmy: Here’s your clue, and your taxi.
Luigi: That was all too quick.
Lemmy: The regular process takes 20 minutes.
Luigi: Never mind!
VROOM!
>>Team Cute-4th to start<<
Yoshi: Zzz… Yoshi… Zzz… Yoshi…
Birdo: We’re here, Lemmy!
Lemmy slaps Yoshi until he’s awake.
Lemmy: Here’s your clue.
Yoshi: YOSHI!
Birdo: We didn’t finish yet!
Yoshi: Oh. TAXI!
Birdo: It’s already here!
Yoshi: …
VROOM!
>>Team Sludge-5th to start<<
King Boo: Come on!
Lemmy: What’s wrong with him?
King Boo: Something he ate. He’s been hurling sludge in the toilet all night!
Petey: URK! Oooooh!
Lemmy: Um… Here’s your clue!
Driver: You better not hurl in my car!
VROOM!
>>Team Queen-6th to start<<
Wendy: I need more beauty sleep!
Clawdia: Come on, honey!
Lemmy: Hello, sister and mother. Here’s your clue!
Wendy: Oh! There’s a cab waiting for us! I choose this one!
VROOM!
>>Team Toad-7th to start<<
Toad: Come on!
Toadette: Toad, you never seem to run out of energy…
Lemmy: Hello! Here you go!
Toad: To the taxi!
VROOM!
>>Team Kisses-8th to start<<
Lemmy: Larry had a quick interview with us about how he feels about this race and his partner.
Larry: Well, I feel this is an opportunity to show King Dad that I can win something! And I think I’m getting used to Susan. We’re a bit more alert with what we need to do! And…
Lemmy: Oh… I’m sorry! But Larry and Susan are coming so I can’t continue the interview.
Larry: We’re here, Lemmy!
Susan: My sugarbird and me are ready to go!
Lemmy: Sugarbird? That’s new! Here’s your clue!
Susan: Let’s get in this one!
VROOM!
>>Team Ape-9th to start<<
DK: Cool!
Diddy: Here we are!
Lemmy: Stop monkeying around and get this clue! Hehe! I always wanted to say that!
DK: K!
Diddy: In here!
VROOM!
>>Team Golf<<
Neil: Come on!
Ella: Here’s the airport!
SCREECH! Neil and Ella run inside.
Neil: Two tickets to Larry’s Bios!
Ticket Agent: I’m sorry! The next plane leaves at 6:00.
Neil: WHAT? But everyone else will be here by then!
Ticket Agent: Here are your tickets! Until then, eat at the restaurant that won’t open for another hour or wait at the bench up front.
Neil checks his watch. It's 5:32. The restaurant won't open until after they leave. Sadly, they walk to the entrance and sit down.
>>Team Princess<<
Peach: Hurry!
Team Princess walks in right when Neil and Ella sit down.
Daisy: What are you doing here?
Neil: We got ripped off! The plane won’t leave until after everyone else arrives. And the restaurant will not open until after we leave. Might as well get the same flight we’re on while it’s still available!
Peach and Daisy sigh and get their tickets for the 6:00 flight. They sit down beside Neil and Ella and wait.
>>Team Cheat-10th to start<<
Wario: Come on, Waluigi!
Waluigi: We’re here, Lemmy!
Lemmy: You look braver!
Waluigi: Wario taught me to be courageous! Nothing can scare me now!
Lemmy: Mouse.
Before you could say ‘Lemmy’, Waluigi is in Wario’s arms shaking like a leaf.
Lemmy: Pathetic! Here’s your clue!
Wario: To the vehicle!
VROOM!
>>Team Koopa-last to start<<
Bowser: We’re here, son.
Lemmy: Dad, sibling, here’s the clue for the second leg.
Bowser Jr: This one, Dad!
VROOM!
>>Team Mario<<
Mario: What are you guys doing here?
Neil: Our flight leaves in 20 minutes.
Mario: Oh.
Luigi: I got tickets for the 6:00 flight!
>>Team Cute<<
Yoshi: Yoshi still confused why you six still here!
Neil: Do I have to repeat this to every person who walks through that door? Give me a pen and paper!
Birdo: Tickets for the 6:00 flight!
Ticket Agent: Here you are!
>>Team Sludge<<
Team Sludge walks in and sees the group holding a sign reading "6:00 flight and restaurant’s closed".
King Boo: Tickets to Larry’s Bios!
Ticket Agent: I got some for the 6:00 flight.
Petey: Thanks!
Neil: Join the club!
>>Team Queen<<
Wendy: *sees sign* Their flight’s leaving in four minutes! We need to get on there!
Clawdia: Larry’s Bios, please!
Ticket Agent: Last tickets for the 6:00 flight!
Wendy: Hurry! They’re boarding!
>>6:00-Teams Golf, Princess, Mario, Cute, Sludge, and Queen<<
The teams board their flight and will arrive in two hours.
>>Team Toad<<
Toad: Give us the earliest flight out!
Ticket Agent: There’s a flight to Lemmy’s Super Koopas in five minutes.
Toad: We’ll take it!
>>Team Kisses<<
Larry: Hurry!
Susan: Tickets for my sugarbird and me to his Bios.
Ticket Agent: Hey! You’re the owner of the Bios! You can take this private helicopter.
Larry: Sweet!
>>Teams Toad and Kisses<<
Team Toad boards the plane to Lemmy’s Super Koopas. At the same time, Team Kisses board the private helicopter.
Lemmy: Team Toad may be off the ground, but they are going the wrong way! Team Kisses, on the other hand, has a direct route to the bio on Roy Koopa.
>>Team Ape<<
DK: K!
Diddy: Tickets to Larry’s Bios!
Ticket Agent: I got a flight at 6:15.
DK: Cool!
Diddy: We’ll take it!
>>Team Cheat<<
Wario: Tickets to Larry’s Bios!
Ticket Agent: There’s a flight leaving in four minutes.
Waluigi: We’ll take it! I’m not scared.
Ticket Agent: Mouse.
Waluigi once again jumps in Wario’s arms.
Ticket Agent: Pathetic!
>>Teams Ape and Cheat<<
The teams board the plane and take off eventually.
>>Team Koopa<<
Bowser Jr: So, tell me again why we’re not going to the airport?
Bowser: I calculated that we could get to Larry’s Bios faster by driving than riding a plane.
Driver: But you can’t do that!
Bowser: Oh yeah? Watch me!
>>Team Toad<<
Toad gets out of his seat and walks into the cockpit.
Pilot: Hey, look! It’s a pair of walking mushrooms!
Toadette: Excuse me?
Pilot: Hey! They can talk!
Toad: Can you take this plane to Larry’s Bios?
Pilot: Sorry! I got some passengers that have to get to Super Koopas.
Toad holds out 100 coins.
Pilot: You know, maybe I can make an exception.
The plane turns around and flies toward Larry’s Bios.
>>neeuQ dna ,egdulS ,etuC ,oiraM ,ssecnirP ,floG smaeT<<
Lemmy: What’s going on?
Goomba: Some idiot tripped over the subtitle bar and reversed the letters. Don’t worry! Light Mario is fixing it now. After your next line, it’ll be back up and fixed.
Lemmy: Okay! I’ll pull it up with my laptop… NOW!
>>Teams Golf, Princess, Mario, Cute, Sludge, and Queen<<
The teams get off the plane and step into the terminal.
Neil, Peach, Luigi, Yoshi, King Boo, and Wendy: Taxi!
SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM!
>>Team Koopa<<
Bowser: Hey! What are you doing? Why are you driving into the sea?
Driver: I tried to tell you… Larry’s Bios is on an island in the Mushroom Sea. It’ll take us some time to navigate through the sea, but we’ll get there-
Bowser: Great!
Driver: -provided that the sea’s weight doesn’t crush us.
Bowser Jr: … Dad, you’re going to kill us one day!
>>Team Kisses<<
Susan: Are we almost there?
Pilot: Yeah! The bio is just over that mountain. I’m going to stop by in that town down there, though. My boyfriend is down in that town.
As the helicopter hovers toward the house, a car is seen parked in front of the house. The pilot suddenly looks angry.
Pilot: … That’s Jessica’s car! In MY boyfriend’s driveway!
The helicopter flies over the roof and they see a man and a woman in a pool outside, splashing each other.
Pilot: … OH! NOW THAT DOES IT!
The pilot flies the helicopter into view of the couple. The man sees them and pushes the woman underwater.
Pilot: Hello, honey! How about some sugar?
The helicopter flies dangerously close to the pool and bursts it. The helicopter pursues the man as he runs through a mountain passage.
Larry: HEY! WATCH OUT! YOU’LL KILL US IF YOU DO NOT SLOW DOWN!
The helicopter crashes anyway. The pilot jumps out with a shotgun and chases the man into the distance.
Larry: I guess we need to walk.
>>Teams Ape and Cheat<<
Pilot: Passengers, please fasten your seatbelts for an emergency landing in the sea 100 yards from Larry’s Bios.
Wario: What happened, you baboon?
Pilot: A Blooper has destroyed the engine and I think I’ve been shot! *looks at bloody hole in his chest* Yep! *falls over dead*
Diddy: … HELP! THE PILOT HAS BEEN SHOT!
The plane crashes into the water and goes deeper and deeper. Eventually, a few passengers who have evacuated the plane can see the plane falling toward a cab slowly driving along the ocean floor.
>>Team Koopa<<
Bowser: How long until we’re there?
Driver: Well, Roy’s bio is on the beach up ahead. But I doubt we'll make it.
Bowser Jr: Why?
Driver: There’s a plane about to crash on our heads.
CRASH! The plane lands on the cab and creates an explosion. Bowser, Bowser Jr, and the driver are blasted out of the sea.
Bowser: Are we going to live?
Driver: Well, you are! But not me! I think my heart stopped. *puts hand to where heart would be* Yep! *dies instantly*
Bowser and Bowser Jr. land in the sea and find themselves next to the plane’s life raft.
Diddy: Need a lift?
Bowser: How far to land?
Waluigi: 100 yards, but I’m not scared!
Bowser Jr: Mouse.
You know what happens.
Bowser: Pathetic!
>>Team Toad<<
Toad and Toadette run from the airport before any passengers can make chase.
Toad: Taxi! Hurry!
No taxis pull up because of their size.
Toadette: Wait! I got an idea!
Toadette jumps on Toad’s shoulders, making a beacon tall enough to signal a taxi.
Toad: Nice thinking!
VROOM!
>>Team Kisses<<
Larry: We’re almost there!
Susan: Good! These high heels are killing me!
Larry: I can see the clue over that sand patch over there… Hey! There’s a sign in the middle.
They walk up and read the sign.
Larry: … QUICKSAND?!
They suddenly sink and appear 100 yards away from shore. Between them is the raft that Teams Ape, Cheat, and Koopa are in.
Larry: HEY! WAIT UP!
>>Team Mario-1st at Junction<<
The Brothers jump out of the cab and run to the clue box.
Luigi: It’s another Junction!
Lemmy: A Junction is where the teams have to choose between two different paths to the next clue. In this Junction, it’s Kick or Pick. In Pick, the teams will choose one chest at a time out of 50 chests each and hope to find their next clue. It’s quick and not scary, since there’s nothing else in the chests. However, it is very time consuming, since the clue warps to a different chest that hasn’t been opened for every wrong guess.
Light Mario: In Kick, the teams have to kick a ball that weighs 300 tons. The teams can use any method to kick the ball past a line ten yards away. It is very hard to move the ball due to its overwhelming weight. It could take very long, but it is potentially very quick. We will not be responsible if any of the teams get injured or killed.
Mario: Kick it! Kick it!
Luigi: I have doubts, but ok!
>>Team Cute-2nd at Junction<<
Yoshi: Let’s Pick!
Birdo: Yeah!
>>Teams Ape, Cheat, Koopa, and Kisses<<
The raft arrives on the beach and the teams run to the clue box. After some cheating and tripping, the teams check in as follows.
>>Team Cheat-3rd at Junction<<
Wario: Let’s Pick!
>>Team Ape-4th at Junction<<
Diddy: Kick it!
DK: K!
>>Team Kisses-5th at Junction<<
Susan: Oh! Let’s Pick! I love riddles!
>>Team Koopa-6th at Junction<<
Bowser: I know what to do!
Bowser Jr: Yeah! Pick!
Bowser: WRONG! We’re Kicking!
Bowser Jr: Okay! Run up there, Dad!
Bowser: WRONG AGAIN! You’re pushing and kicking!
Bowser Jr: Grrr…
>>Team Sludge-7th at Junction<<
King Boo: The clue!
Petey: *wheeze* *pant* Can’t we take a break? I’m tired!
King Boo: You just stepped out of the cab! ... Kick it!
Petey: HOORAY!
King Boo: You kick it, idiot!
Petey: DANG!
>>Team Queen-8th at Junction<<
Wendy: Let’s Pick! We might chip a nail kicking that thing!
Clawdia: Ok, honey!
>>Team Golf-9th at Junction<<
Neil: Let’s Pick!
Ella: Ok!
>>Junction Team at ninth Princess<<
Lemmy: Let me guess… Another careless idiot tripped over a subtitle and Light Mario’s fixing it right after your next line.
Goomba: Wow! How did you know?
>>Team Princess-9th at Junction<<
Peach: To the chests!
Daisy: To the chests!
???: To arms! Where’s the winery?
Lemmy: Who let that guy in?
>>Team Toad<<
Toad: What do you mean?
Toadette: I think it’s time for us to use the Magic Lamp.
Lemmy: Whenever a team doubts that they will make it to the pitstop in time, they can go look for the Magic Lamp, which will send the team who uses it to the Pitstop. However, once a team uses a Magic Lamp, they can’t use another Magic Lamp in the race ahead.
Light Mario: In this leg, the lamp is in a secret location located in the bio of Lemmy by Lemmy Clone.
Lemmy: So, how well is it hidden?
Light Mario: An idiot asked to do it and I let him.
Lemmy: Uh oh! Just what we need!
Toad: Turn this around and go to Lemmy’s bio, by Lemmy Clone!
Driver: Roger!
>>Team Mario<<
Mario runs up to the giant sphere and pushes it ten yards before collapsing.
Luigi: Oy!
Luigi pushes it another ten yards and collapses.
Mario: There has to be another way.
Mario kicks the sphere and it zooms twenty yards.
Mario: !!! … Sweet!
Luigi kicks it the last ten yards and a chest appears back at the beginning.
Mario: Run to it!
However, they are so tired, they collapse right before the chest.
>>Team Cheat<<
Wario: Which chest should we look in?
Goomba: Beats me! I just monitor this mini-game!
Wario: Tell us!
Goomba: Okay! Top left!
Wario opens the chest and finds a package inside.
Waluigi: Is that it?
Waluigi grabs the package, which explodes in his hands and reveals twenty toy mice. Waluigi jumps in Wario’s arms.
Goomba: Pathetic! You’re going to play fair or not play at all!
>>Team Kisses<<
Larry: The left one! No, the right!
Susan: Which one?
Larry: … That one!
They open the chest and find a scroll inside.
Larry: It’s not the clue…what is it?
Goomba: Congratulations! You found the secret scroll! You can now exchange it for 1,000,000 coins in coins, gold, or diamonds!
Susan: THIS IS AWESOME! LET’S CHOOSE THE DIAMONDS!
Larry: Let’s make it a wedding gift.
Susan: !!! OH, LARRY!
Goomba: An excellent choice. You will also get a dream house to store the diamonds in and to live there happily ever after!
Larry: We’ll take it! Where’s the nearest chapel?
Goomba: 20 kilometers to the east.
Larry: Taxi!
The couple steps in the taxi and goes to the chapel.
>>Staff Camp<<
Lemmy: I can’t believe that happened!
Light Mario: Me neither! Why get married now instead of after the leg is over? And what’s with that secret scroll gig?
Lemmy: … I think the end of this leg will be interesting.
>>Teams Sludge, Ape, Mario, and Koopa<<
Team Mario wakes up as the other three teams get their clues. They get their clues.
>>Team Koopa-1st at Route Marker<<
Bowser: Go to the bio of Mewd.
Lemmy: The teams must now go to the bio of Mewd on the other side of the island. There, the next clue waits.
Bowser Jr: Taxi!
>>Team Ape-2nd at Route marker<<
Diddy: ... Ok! Taxi!
DK: Cool! K! Boo!
King Boo: I HEARD THAT!
Diddy: Taxi! Hurry…
>>Team Sludge-3rd at Route Marker<<
King Boo: Taxi!
Petey: Oh goody! Oh goody!
King Boo: Hurry…
>>Team Mario-4th at Route Marker<<
Mario: To the other side of the island!
Luigi: Taxi!
>>Team Kisses<<
Susan: Larry, what’s wrong?
Larry: I’m sure we’re forgetting something…
Susan: It’s probably nothing…
>>Teams Cute, Cheat, Queen, Princess, and Golf<<
The teams, after many tries, finally find the chests with the clues.
>>Team Cheat-5th at Route Marker<<
Waluigi: To Mewd!
Wario: Taxi!
>>Team Queen-6th at Route Marker<<
Wendy: HURRY!
>>Team Cute-7th at Route Marker<<
Yoshi: The bio on Mewd… Ok! Wow!
Screech!
Birdo: I love him and that trick!
>>Team Golf-8th at Route Marker<<
Neil: The bio on Mewd! To the bio!
Ella: Taxi!
>>Team Princess-9th at Route Marker<<
Peach: To the clue!
Daisy: Taxi!
Peach: Ok, first to the taxi, then to the clue!
>>Team Toad<<
Toad: This is going to take forever!
Toadette: Keep up your hope!
Toad: HOPE? I’m not going to search thirty square miles of land for a warp pipe to the pitstop! I’ll take my chances on the main track!
Toadette: Whatever! Just keep your hope up!
Toad: YYYAAARRRGGGHHH!!!
>>Teams Mario, Ape, Sludge, and Koopa<<
The four teams arrive at the location of the next clue. They literally hit and trip each other to beat each other to the clue.
>>Team Koopa-1st at Whomp Stop<<
Bowser Jr: Well?
Bowser: … Whomp Stop!
Light Mario: A Whomp Stop is a task that only one member from each team must accomplish. In this Whomp Stop, the single team members must devour a Birdo Egg, which we asked her to make for us during the last pitstop break. First, they must break the egg open and pour the contents into a bowl until the bowl's full.
Lemmy: Then, they must cook it to whatever temperature they like their eggs (excluding them being raw). After that, they must eat every last morsel of the egg, which is equivalent to a dozen chicken eggs. After they turn in their empty dish, they will get the next clue.
Bowser: I’ll do it! I’m hungry!
>>Team Mario-2nd at Whomp Stop<<
Mario: Oh boy! Eggs!
>>Team Sludge-3rd at Whomp Stop<<
King Boo: I can’t eat! You have to do it!
Petey: Yes!
King Boo: … Well, go up there!
Petey: Yes!
King Boo: …Are you an imbecile?
Petey: Yes!
King Boo: IS ALL YOU CAN SAY IS YES?
Petey: … Yes!
King Boo slaps his face and then pushes Petey to the grill.
>>maeT epA htruof ta pmohW potS<<
KD: huH?
yddiD: s’tahW gniog no?
>>ffatS pmaC<<
abmooG: sihT si gnitteg tuo fo dnah! esehT era erom naht elpmis sekatsim!
ymmeL: Don’t worry! I’ve got guards on the lookout for the perpetrator and Light Mario fixing these signs!
abmooG: woH era uoy gnikaeps yllamron?
ymmeL: Easy! I’m speaking backwards! Therefore, what would be backwards is now right!
abmooG: eciN nalp! teL em yrt! woH era uoy? What the?
Lemmy: Light Mario must have fixed it when you were doing it.
Goomba: Yeah! Well, everything’s back to normal.
>>Team Ape-4th at Whomp Stop<<
Diddy: Well… that was weird!
DK: Cool!
Diddy: Anyway, I’ll eat the egg!
>>Team Cheat<<
Wario: Faster!
Driver: I’m going as fast as I can!
Wario: Faster!
Driver: I’m going as fast as I can!
Wario: FASTER!
Driver: I got to obey the speed limit!
Wario: *turns red* FASTER! FASTER, FASTER, FAAASSSTTTEEERRR!
POP!
Wario: WHAT NOW?
Driver: Flat tire!
Wario gets so mad, he figuratively explodes!
Goomba: Figuratively? Does that mean Wario’s dead?
Lemmy: No, but he pretty much lost it.
Light Mario: OW! You dumb water cooler! You hit my kneecap when I’m getting a small glass of water?! DIE!
BOOM!!!
Lemmy: Like him!
Goomba: Wow! You’re good! So good, I should pay you!
The Goomba looks around and pulls a 100-coin bill out of nowhere.
???: Ahem…
The Goomba’s wife takes the bill and gives it to Lemmy.
Lemmy: Thank you!
>>Teams Mario, Ape, Sludge, and Koopa<<
Mario, Diddy, Petey, and Bowser run up to the sushi bar. They each take one egg and crack it open. Bowser has some trouble as most of the yoke drips out of the egg, and he needs to start anew. Mario, Diddy, and Petey, however, successfully fill the bowl.
Bowser: Grrr… My hands are too big!
Bowser finally does it the third time, but all the other teams have finished cooking their eggs.
>>Team Kisses<<
Larry: I swear! There’s something amiss here!
Susan: Oh, your imagination is acting up, honey!
Larry: You're right! But I’m still curious…
>>Staff Camp<<
Light Mario: How long do you think it’ll take for Larry to remember the race?
Lemmy: Beats me!
>>Teams Cute, Queen, Golf, and Princess<<
The four teams arrive at the location of the next clue.
>>Team Cute-5th at Whomp Stop<<
Yoshi: What? Yoshi have to eat one of your eggs? Why didn’t you tell Yoshi?
Birdo: I was told to keep quiet! Sorry!
Yoshi: Yoshi can’t eat your eggs! What if baby inside?
Birdo: … That’s you.
Yoshi: Oh… Ok! Yoshi eat!
Yoshi runs to the bar.
Birdo: …
>>Team Queen-6th at Whomp Stop<<
Wendy: I’m not going to eat that!
Clawdia: Okay, dear! I’ll do it!
>>Team Golf-7th at Whomp Stop<<
Ella: I’m a good cook!
Neil: Go for it!
Ella skips toward the bar.
>>Team Princess-8th at Whomp Stop<<
Peach: I’m very hungry.
Peach grabs a nearby meatball and eats it whole. She then goes to the bar. The four teams arrive at the bar and very easily get the egg cooked.
>>Team Cheat<<
Waluigi: Why do we have to walk so far?
Wario: It’s only one mile.
Waluigi: WAAHHH!!!
Wario: Grrr… Why did I choose him?
They finally make it to the Whomp Stop
as the other teams start eating their eggs.
>>Team Cheat-9th at Whomp Stop<<
Wario: Stay here!
Wario grabs his egg and cracks it open perfectly. He starts cooking it immediately.
>>Teams Koopa, Mario, Ape, and Sludge<<
Team Mario finishes its egg and gets
the clue.
>>Team Mario-1st at Route Marker<<
Mario: *rip* To the pitstop!
Lemmy: The teams must now go to the pitstop in Boom Boom’s bio. There, they will find Light Mario, Boom Boom, and the end of this leg!
Mario: Let’s go!
>>Team Koopa-2nd at Route Marker<<
Bowser: TAXI!
Bowser Jr: To the pitstop!
>>Team Sludge-3rd at Route Marker<<
Petey: To the pitstop! To the pitstop!
King Boo: ]:( TAXI!
>>Team Ape-4th at Route Marker<<
DK: Cool!
Diddy: Taxi!
>>Teams Cute, Queen, Golf, and Princess<<
The four teams receive the clues and are on their way to the pitstop.
>>Team Cute-5th at Route Marker<<
>>Team Princess-6th at Route Marker<<
>>Team Golf-7th at Route Marker<<
>>Team Queen-8th at Route Marker<<
>>Team Cheat-9th at Route Marker<<
Wario: Finally! The pitstop!
Waluigi: I’m not scared!
Wario: Mouse.
I’m tired of this pun!
>>Team Toad<<
Toadette: I think I found it!
Toad: @%#$&@%#!!!
Toadette: Let’s go!
They jump in the warp pipe and appear in a dark room with a lamp in the middle. After rubbing it, the genie pops out.
Genie: To the pitstop it is, foolish mortals!
Toad: What did you-
The genie jumps on the ground and launches Team Toad to the pitstop before Toad can finish. They land at Light Mario’s feet.
Boom Boom: Welcome to my bio!
Light Mario: Toad and Toadette, you’re the first team to arrive!
TEAM TOAD-FIRST PLACE-3:02 PM
Toad: Yeah!
Light Mario: As the first team to finish, you get a new house in the Mushroom Kingdom estate of elders!
Toad: WHAT? I’M NOT ELDERLY!
Light Mario: How old are you?
Toad: 5, why?
Light Mario: On Pluto, you’re older than 1000!
Toad: THAT’S NOT FAIR!
>>Team Mario<<
Mario: Here we are!
Boom Boom: Welcome to my bio!
Light Mario: Mario and Luigi, you’re team number two.
TEAM MARIO-SECOND PLACE-5:26 PM
Mario: WOOHOO!
Luigi: Oh yeah!
>>Team Koopa<<
Bowser: Almost there…
Boom Boom: Welcome to my bio!
Light Mario: Bowser and Bowser Jr, you’re team number three.
TEAM KOOPA-THIRD PLACE-5:34 PM
Bowser: YES!
Bowser: HOORAY!
>>Team Sludge<<
King Boo: Hurry!
Boom Boom: Welcome to my bio!
Light Mario: King Boo and Petey, you’re team number four.
TEAM SLUDGE-FOURTH PLACE-5:42 PM
Petey: Yeah! *falls down*
King Boo: *sigh*
>>Team Ape<<
DK: K!
Boom Boom: Welcome to my bio!
Light Mario: DK and Diddy, you’re team number five.
TEAM APE-FIFTH PLACE-5:47 PM
DK: Cool!
Diddy: *sigh*
>>Team Queen<<
Wendy: A little more…
Boom Boom: Welcome to my bio!
Light Mario: Wendy and Clawdia, you’re team number six.
TEAM QUEEN-SIXTH PLACE-5:56 PM
Wendy: Same as last time!
Clawdia: Not bad!
>>Team Golf<<
Neil: We’re here!
Boom Boom: Welcome to my bio!
Light Mario: Neil and Ella, you’re team seven!
TEAM GOLF-SEVENTH PLACE-6:02 PM
Neil: ALL RIGHT!
Ella: YEAH!
>>Team Cute<<
Yoshi: We’re here!
Boom Boom: Welcome to my bio!
Light Mario: Yoshi and Birdo, you’re team number eight!
TEAM CUTE-EIGHTH PLACE-6:07 PM
Yoshi: YOSHI!
Birdo: Yes!
>>Team Princess<<
Peach: Finally!
Boom Boom: Welcome to my bio!
Light Mario: Peach and Daisy, you’re team number nine.
TEAM PRINCESS-NINTH PLACE-6:14 PM
Peach: Whew!
Daisy: We’re still in!
>>Team Cheat<<
Wario: Here we go, Waluigi!
Boom Boom: Welcome to my bio!
Light Mario: Wario and Waluigi, you’re the last team to arrive.
Wario: WHAT?
Light Mario: HA! Pulled your leg! You’re actually team number ten.
TEAM CHEAT-TENTH PLACE-6:25 PM
Wario: Sweet!
Waluigi: Yeah!
Light Mario: Whew!
Lemmy: Well?
Light Mario: Yep! Team Kisses is hopeless.
>>Midnight-Team Kisses<<
Priest: I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
As the two kiss, Larry remembers...
Larry: THE RACE!
Susan: !!!
They run to the limo and ride it to the bio of Roy. As soon as they reach the bio, they see the Goomba in a chair asleep. They shake him until he’s awake.
Goomba: Wha… OH! It’s you two!
Larry: Quit babbling! Where’s the clue?
Goomba: Lemmy took it and left this note for you two!
Larry: Huh?
The two grab the note and read it:
Dear Larry and Susan,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but due to the fact that you didn’t check into the pitstop before all the other teams because you sidetracked (majorly, I might add), you have therefore been eliminated from the race.
Sorry!
Lemmy Koopa
TEAM KISSES-ELIMINATED
Larry: What? NO!
Susan: Oh well! We got a million coins in diamonds and a luxurious dream house. That’s still good, right?
Later…
Susan: WHAT THE?
The “dream house” is actually a worn-down shack with half the boards in it destroyed.
Susan: Oh well! At least we got a million coins in diamonds.
Larry: No… *licks a diamond* These are just crystallized sugar crystals. We’ve been bamboozled.
Susan starts to cry.
>>Staff Camp<<
Light Mario: That was a surprise ending.
Lemmy: Well, until next time, we’re your hosts, Lemmy…
Light Mario: And Light Mario.
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Place |
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1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
11 |
12 |
13 |
| 11. Team
Toad
(Toad/Toadette) |
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| 12. Team
Mario
(Mario/Luigi) |
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| 13. Team
Koopa
(Bowser/Jr) |
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| 14. Team
Sludge
(Petey Piranha/King Boo) |
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| 15. Team
Ape
(DK/Diddy) |
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| 16. Team
Queen
(Wendy/Clawdia) |
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| 17. Team
Golf
(Neil/Ella) |
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| 18. Team
Cute
(Yoshi/Birdo) |
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| 19. Team
Princess
(Peach/Daisy) |
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| 10. Team Cheat
(Wario/Waluigi) |
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| 11. Team Kisses
(Susan/Larry) |
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| 12. Team Bean
(Cackletta/Fawful) |
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To Be Continued...
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