Part Twelve: Bowser’s/Bowletta’s Castle Thingy
After rescuing Princess Peach and having the Beanstar change ownership for the fifth time, the Mario Bros. decide to head back to the castle. However once they reach there Lady Lima rushes out.
Lady Lima: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH! We’re under attack! Sort of.
Luigi: What?
Lady Lima: Look in the sky!
Luigi looks in the sky.
Luigi: ACK!
High in the sky is Bowser’s (well Bowletta’s now) Castle! However it is just floating there.
Luigi: Why doesn’t it attack?
Meanwhile in the Castle…
Bowletta: Dang it, Fawful! FIRE!
Fawful: But beautiful one! The guns are clogged up with jam!
Bowletta: Really?
Fawful: No. I couldn’t fly the Kruiser; do you honestly expect me to fly this?
Bowletta: Yes.
Fawful: Well you’re wrong.
Bowletta: KOOPALINGS! Your time has come!
Suddenly out of a door the seven Koopalings come out.
Larry: I wanna play tennis!
Lemmy: I like freezing things!
Iggy: I like getting dizzy and then running into walls!
Ludwig: I go SPIN SPIN in my shell!
Roy: I’m a bully! GRR!
Iggy: AAAAAHHHHHH!
Roy runs after him breathing fire.
Wendy: I like candy!
Morton: I like to talk and talk!
Bowletta: That’s great but-
Morton: And talk about fish and spiders and Ooh! Spiders are SCARY! But muffins are COOL! And-
Bowletta: Be quiet!
Iggy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Ow.
Iggy runs into a wall. Roy trips and falls on him.
Morton: And Prince Peasley is great and has shiny hair and how come I don’t have hair?
Bowletta: SHUT UP!
They all stop moving.
Bowletta: I want one of you to fly this thing.
Larry: You’re not our dad.
Iggy: You can’t make us do anything!
Bowletta: But I’m your mother!
Wendy: EEEEEEWWWWWWW! Don’t SAY that!
Bowletta: Fine, but I’m in your father’s body and-
Ludwig: EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW! You mean he was going out with YOU?!
Bowletta: What’s wrong with me? I mean NO! I stole his body!
Lemmy: But you’re a GIRL! So now you are… EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW! You’re gross!
Bowletta: No I’m not! Look, if you don’t help me I’ll…
Wendy: What, hag?
Bowletta: Add Letta to the end of your name!
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Bowletta: Eeyah ha ha!
Roy: We STILL won’t help you. *shudder*
Bowletta: Oh, I think you will… Royletta!
Roy passes out.
Bowletta: Anyone else want to test me?
Lemmy: N-n-no.
Bowletta: Then attack!
Larry: But we don’t know how to fly it either!
Bowletta: WHAT?!
Morton: And I live in a desert and-
Ludwig: Dad never let us use it!
Bowletta: Well this is unfortunate.
Fawful: Maybe if I press random buttons again…
Bowletta: Well it’s the best idea we got.
So Fawful hits some random buttons. Unfortunately this causes the ship to begin to descend at an alarming rate.
All: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Outside…
Lady Lima: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! They’re attacking!
Luigi: Looks like they’re falling.
Lady Lima: Well obviously that IS their attack!
Luigi: Sure…
Lady Lima: Oh no! What if they hit…
She immediately runs off to the side of the castle.
Luigi: What the?
He and Mario follow. They catch up and see her standing by a building with a sign on front of it that says “Danger! Do not enter! For reasons we can not disclose to the general populace you can not enter!”
Lady Lima: What to do?!
The Castle comes closer and closer.
Luigi: Get out of the way!
Lady Lima: What?
Luigi tackles her just in time as the Castle lands right on top of the buildingm destroying it.
Lady Lima: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The machine that made the BB Soldiers!
Luigi: What? That actually exists?
Lady Lima: Yes! And now my plans to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom are ruined! Not even the lovely Toadsworth with the Beanstar, or the sight of Queen Bean smacking him for trying to take itm is enough compensation for this loss!
Luigi: Not summoning a lot of sympathy for you.
Luigi looks at the entrance to the Castle. It landed right side up, so it looks exactly as it does when it is flying. There is a door at the bottom.
Luigi: The sooner we go in there the sooner we can leave. Let’s go, Mario!
Mario: Okeydokey!
And so they enter the Castle…
Luigi: Wow! This place is flamy!
The entire castle is covered in lava and creatures. They take a few steps only to encounter a group of Magikoopas!
Magikoopa 1: Feel our magic stuff, thing… uh…
Magikoopa 2: Oh man, you forgot again? The attack is…
Magikoopa 3: Random Geometric Shapes!
He fires off a magic blast at the Bros. They barely dodge.
Magikoopa 1: Oh… right.
Magikoopa 4: Attack!
They begin shooting spells like crazy. Everything they hit turns into a Koopa! Unfortunately as the Koopas used to be inanimate objects and, well, aren’t very smart to begin with, they all walk into the lava. The Bros. avoid these attacks by staying behind a wall.
Luigi: Man, not only do they have bad aim, but they aren’t very bright either.
Magikoopa 5: Whoops, sorry 6 and 7!
His blasts hit two of his friends, turning them into feeble Koopas. After realizing their horrible fate they also jump into the lava.
Magikoopa 3: Okay, this isn’t working! Stop!
They all stop.
Magikoopa 2: We need to get the Mario Bros!
Magikoopa 1: Fire Ring attack!
They shoot a fire ring around the wall. The Bros. barely dodge that one too!
Magikoopa 4: Shoot! That was the best we had! I’m bored. Let’s go to Kamek's and hypnotize people.
They all teleport away.
Luigi: That was weird. Oh well. Let’s keep going.
They don’t travel too far, before they are greeted by Iggy!
Iggy: Prepare for my Dizzy Spin!
Iggy begins to spin rapidly around the Bros.
Luigi: Right… What are you doing?
Iggy: Making you dizzy!
Luigi: No you’re not.
The Mario Bros. aren’t following him with their eyes; they’re just looking straight ahead. Iggy stops spinning.
Iggy: Dang, now I’m all dizzy! Whoa!
Iggy starts to wobble around.
Iggy: Now to get the Mario Bros!
Iggy charges forward… and hits a wall. He gets knocked out.
Luigi: Right… Let’s keep going.
And so they continue… until Morton jumps in front of them.
Morton: And I am great and tall… well not really and I have no hair but I can make shockwaves but that implies I’m fat and I don’t think I’m fat do you?
Luigi: No.
Morton: You’re the Mario Bros. and I should stop you but that creepy thing is creepy so I won’t so there! Blah blah blah! Why am I saying that?
Mario and Luigi just walk by him as he continues to talk. A little while later they encounter Lemmy!
Luigi: Are we gonna run into all seven of you?
Lemmy: Yes.
Luigi: This will take a long time.
Lemmy: I have a website!
Luigi: I’m sure you do.
Lemmy: Yes, I do! Go to it! It has real funny-
Luigi: I don’t care.
Lemmy: But I worked real hard on-
Luigi: And I’m sure your parents are very proud. Go away.
Lemmy: No, they’re not! They don’t care! They think I should be spending more time capturing princesses!
Luigi: Great, now-
Lemmy: But I’ll show them! I will create the greatest website of all, and then conquer the Internet!
Luigi: I don’t think that’s possible.
Lemmy: Then with the Internet at my disposal I can have MORE websites! HA HA HA!
Luigi: Good for you.
Lemmy: Thanks for the help! Bye!
Lemmy leaves.
Luigi: Uh… You’re welcome.
They continue for a ways, until (surprise surprise) Ludwig stops them.
Ludwig: I am smart and can go SPIN SPIN in my shell!
Luigi: I’m sure you can.
Ludwig: Now prepare to die!
Ludwig goes in his shell and attempts to attack the Bros. Unfortunately, since he is in his shell he can not see what he is doing.
Luigi: Yeah, that’s me, keep attacking.
Ludwig: HA HA HA!
Ludwig rams continuously into a wall.
Luigi: Yeah, this guy is going to be here for a while.
They walk away. Soon Roy jumps in front of them!
Roy: You!
Luigi: Yes me.
Roy: You had Iggy beat himself up!
Luigi: Well, I suppose by having him run into a wall that counts as beating yourself up.
Roy: Yeah! And I heard he did a good job at it too!
Luigi: Well, yes, he did.
Roy: Well then in order to prove I am the biggest bully, I shall beat myself up!
Luigi: That is insane logic… but I’ll let you do it.
Roy: Thanks!
He begins punching himself. Luigi watches for a few minutes while he slams his head into a wall and other things until he knocks himself out.
Luigi: He was not very bright. I’ve noticed Mario hasn’t talked for a while-
Mario: Just what I needed!
Luigi: Scratch that.
They continue until they are halted by Wendy!
Wendy: I shall let you pass only if you allow me to eat candy!
Luigi: But we have no candy.
Wendy: Oh, that’s okay, I can make some.
Luigi: So then what was the point in involving us?
Wendy: What?! How dare you point out my flaws? Prepare to die!
She fires candy rings at them. Mario grabs them and eats them.
Wendy: Oh no! My rings! Curses! I’ve been defeated!
She runs away. Mario starts to twitch.
Luigi: Uh oh.
Mario: OKEYDOKEY! FIRE! MUFFINS! THAT’S BETTER! HAMMER!
Luigi: Sugar rush.
Luigi backs off a ways while Mario has a hyper attack. After about ten minutes, Mario falls unconscious.
Luigi: Finally.
Suddenly Larry shows up!
Larry: Now is the time to strike, while your brother is unable to fight!
Luigi: Uh… I really don’t need him…
Larry pulls out a tennis racket.
Larry: I challenge you… to a tennis match!
Luigi: I don’t have a racket.
Larry: Just use my spare!
Larry tosses him an extra racket.
Luigi: Great… What are using for a ball?
Larry looks around.
Larry: How about this rock!
Luigi: Whatever.
Larry tries to hit the rock. It breaks through his racket.
Larry: Oh no! I’ve been defeated!
Luigi: Wait… Can’t you block fireballs with that?
Larry: Of course!
Luigi: But not a rock…
Larry: I know! I need to buy a better one!
He runs off. Mario wakes up.
Luigi: Well, I guess we better continue, I think we’re almost done.
And so they continue.
Meanwhile on the ground…
Prince Peasley: Grr! Now’s my chance to get revenge! Up there I shall face the Mario Bros… and I shall be victorious!
He climbs on the flying Bean thing and goes into the castle!
Next time Mario and Luigi shall have their final battles against Fawful, Bowletta, and Prince Peasley?! This is it! The next one is the last one! Hopefully the world won’t end (again) and hopefully the author won’t be renamed to… Lord Drashletta!
Lord Drash: Hey! Don’t do that!
Narrator: Hee hee! See you next time!