Chapter Four: AAAAHHHHHHH! The Freaky Guy in the Sheet is… LOOKING at MEEEEEE!!!
After retrieving the third Crystal Star and taking a blimp back to Rogueport, Bowser and King go to the Door, do the map thing, and discover that the next Star is in some kind of Steeple. Bowser and King go to Frankly to find out how to get there.
Bowser: How do we get there?!
Frankly: You need to find the pipe in the west of Rogueport Sewers!
King: Why are we all yelling?!
Bowser and Frankly stare at him.
Bowser: We’re not yelling.
Frankly: Yeah! What’s your problem? MAPS!
King: Right…
Bowser and King go to the far right of Rogueport’s sewers and find a brownish warp pipe. Bowser and King try to go down it but it spits them back up.
Bowser: What?!
King: Maybe we should talk to Frankly-
Bowser jumps in again. It spits him back out.
Bowser: GRRR!
King: I don’t think you can-
Bowser jumps in again. This repeats until Bowser gets tired of it.
Bowser: Well, King, contrary to what you said I don’t think we can go down that pipe.
King: What?!
Bowser: We should probably talk to Frankly!
King: But I said that!
Bowser: DON’T ARGUE WITH YOUR KING, KING!
King: All right!
They go back to Frankly.
Bowser: We can’t go down the pipe!
Frankly: MAPS?! Oh. Well there is a Twilight Town resident, that’s where the pipe leads, behind my house.
Bowser and King go behind Frankly’s house and see a telephone booth?!
Bowser: What the? What’s this doing here?
King: I think that’s the one that you threw off Glitzville.
Bowser: So it is! Well I guess the Twilighter isn’t here… Let’s go back to the pipe, I have an idea…
They walk back to the pipe, completely missing the dark hand waving furiously beside the booth… almost as if someone was under it… Anyway, once Bowser and King get back to the pipe, Bowser grabs the pipe.
King: What are you doing?
Bowser: Well it’s the PIPE, not the warp, that’s preventing us from goimg through, right?
King: Yeah…
Bowser: Well then watch THIS!
Bowser starts to pull on the pipe. After much straining and effort he manages to yank it out!
King: WOW! I didn’t know that was possible!
Bowser: Neither did I!
With the pipe gone a large hole is revealed. Jumping into it leads King and Bowser to… Twilight Town!
Meanwhile, with Mario…
After narrowly escaping from King, Mario got back on the blimp. It took him a while to find it as he thought it was in the item shop…but he found it anyways. As they take off and are flying over the ocean, Mario notices a strange noise…
Mario: Crikey!
Blimp Captain (BC): What is it, Mario?
Mario runs to the back of the blimp and finds a strange machine…
Mario: EVIL!!!
BC: What?! No! That’s the engine!
Mario yanks the engine out.
BC: Ah... AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
The blimp stops for a second and then plummets to the ground.
Mario: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
BC: You better believe it! NOW WE’RE GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEE!!!
Mario: Okeydokey!
BC: And you’re okay with that?
Mario: Let’s-a go!
BC: Huh?
Mario jumps out the window, into the ocean.
BC: GOOD IDEA!
He jumps out too, just before the blimp crashes. Mario and BC paddle about in the ocean.
BC: Well what do we do now?
Mario: Thank you very much for-a playing my game!
BC: You make no sense!
Mario: Okeydokey!
BC: It’s your fault we’re here!
Mario: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
BC: Yes it is!
Mario dives under the water.
BC: Hey! Get back here!
He follows. Mario and BC travel through an underwater passage full of fish and other such vicious creatures. After a while they break to the surface of a small cavern. They clamber onto a small patch of rock by a sign leading to a warp pipe. BC is about to go in it when Mario grabs him.
BC: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! What ARE you doing?!
Mario: Woohoo!
Mario throws him at a Jelectro in the water.
BC: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! SHOCKING!
Mario jumps in the pipe. BC manages to extricate himself from the creature.
BC: I’m going to-AAAAHHHHHH!
A Cheep Cheep jumps out of the water and smacks him on the head…
Back to Bowser…
Bowser and King appear out of a pipe in a dark town… with equally goth-like residents.
King: Strange…
A large quantity of pigs are about snuffling and… pigging as pigs normally do. A Twilighter walks over.
Twilighter: Oh you MUST help us!
Bowser: Help you what?
Twilighter: Oh… you MUST speak with Mayor Dour! He’s over there!
The person points to a house. Bowser and King go there. Inside an aged Twilighter resides.
Mayor Dour: Oh, thank you for agreeing to help us!
Bowser: But I DIDN’T agree!
Dour: Hmm? Oh yes… I guess you didn’t…
King: Look, what is the problem?
Dour: We are CURSED!
Bowser and King look hesitant and start to back towards the door.
Dour: No, you fools! The curse can’t be passed on! Don’t worry!
Bowser and King look relieved.
Dour: Upon entering our town you already ARE cursed!
Bowser and King look freaked.
Dour: Just kidding!
Bowser: Stop messing with us and tell us HOW you’re cursed!
Dour: Fine… fine, trying to ruin my fun. Well up at the Steeple lives a person named Doopliss… and every time he rings the bell there one of us is turned into a pig! Or possibly a small squirrel…
King: That’s a weird curse.
Dour: Yes! Apparently he got the power to do this from some kind of shiny star…
Bowser: A Crystal Star?
Dour: NO! A shiny star… it glitters!
King: That would be a Crystal Star.
Dour: Oh, I know! It’s a Crystal Star!
Bowser: That’s great. You stay here and get turned into a pig and we’ll grab the Star.
Dour: And stop the curse too, right?
Bowser: Well… we WILL get the Star… but you might have to wait on the curse.
Dour: Oh fine! The way to Creepy Steeple is to the east…
King: Thanks!
They leave.
Dour: Now what was I doing? Ah yes! Pigs! Come out!
He whistles and a secret passage opens revealing a ton of pigs.
Dour: This curse is good for ONE thing… there’s plenty to eat!
The pigs, upon hearing this, freak and try to run. Dour grabs one.
Dour: YOU are going to make some delicious bacon!
A bell-like noise is heard.
Dour: Oh c-
He is surrounded by purple smoke. When it clears another pig has joined their ranks. Bowser and King have no problem passing by the gate… as its guard has been turned into a pig. They pass a small shed. A voice calls out.
Voice: Hey! I’m in a black chest and I need you to-
Bowser: Shut up. I’m not going to let you curse me.
Voice: Dang!
Bowser and King keep going until they are blocked by some kind of green Goomba.
Hyper Goomba (HG): HI! I’m HYPER! LA LA LA LA! SUPER charge ATTACK! YAY!
The HG starts charging. Bowser squishes him. A Hyper Paragoomba and a Hyper Spiky Goomba hyperly u past Bowser and King and slam into tree.
Bowser: Now I remember why I don’t let them into my army.
Eventually they reach a large log across their path. Bowser manages to roll it out of the way, squishing a black key that was there. Eventually they reach a large haystack.
Bowser: Hmm…
King: Maybe something’s UNDER the hay-
Bowser: I know! You need to find a needle!
King: I don’t think that’s-
Bowser: FIND THE NEEDLE!
King: Fine!
King dives in the haystack. After about three minutes he comes out.
King: There’s some kind of pipe-
Bowser: Stop slacking! Get me my needle! I want to poke you!
King: Great… Hey, how about you lift the haystack… and shake it around?
Bowser: Sounds reasonable…
Bowser picks up the stack, revealing a warp pipe.
Bowser: You didn’t see that?!
King: What?! Yes I did!
Bowser: It's one thing not being able to find a needle in a haystack… but not being able to find a warp pipe in a haystack is just pathetic.
King: Fine. I’m pathetic. Let‘s just go.
They go in the pipe, which takes them too… the woods. It’s rather dark and creepy inside but Bowser stomps his way through. A small flower creature walks over.
Crazee Dayzee: I shall put you to sleep! LAAAAAAAA LA LA! I AM TONE DEAF!
Bowser: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! SHUT UP!
Crazee Dayzee: You’re mean! I’m getting my big brother!
He runs away like only a flower can.
King: That was strange.
Bowser: I agree.
They continue through the woods but they are stopped on their way out by…
Crazee Dayzee: STOOOP!
Bowser: What? You again?
Crazee Dayzee: I brought my big brother!
A similar flower only with a golden glow comes skipping up.
Amazee Dayzee: I’m AMAZING!
Bowser: Right… just go away.
Crazee Dayzee (CD): Get him!
The Amazee Dayzee (AD) skips forward and taps Bowser. He goes flying back twenty feet.
CD: YAY! That’ll teach him!
They skip back to the woods singing loudly.
King: Wow… I can’t believe they beat you…
Bowser struggles to stand up, groaning.
Bowser: Oof! Uh… they didn’t beat me! I let them win!
King: Sure. Man, the great KING of the Koopas was beaten by a pair of flowers…
Bowser: Not true! Let’s go!
Bowser takes one step forward… and collapses to the ground, unconscious.
King: Wow… those guys really beat him up. Maybe I should like mess with his tongue or put him in an embarrassing position before he wakes up…
King walks over to Bowser’s head but Bowser’s arm shoots out and grabs him.
King: AAAAHHHHHHHH!
Bowser: I love you, Peach!
King: He’s dreaming?
King glances at Bowser’s closed eyes. Bowser draws him in as if to cuddle with him.
King: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Not that!
King tries to break out of Bowser’s grasp.
Bowser: Hmm? You can’t be Peach… You must be Mario!
King: Uh oh…
Bowser: DIE!
Bowser tries to smash King on the ground when King slips out, knocking Bowser’s balance askew. He crashes to the ground. And wakes up.
Bowser: Wha? What happened?
King: You tried to kill me?
Bowser: Oh. Nothing important then.
King: Shut up! Let’s just keep going.
They travel a bit, completely ignoring the Hyper Clefts (HC).
HC: Hey… I’m… HYP…ER!
He slowly starts to walk toward Bowser and King.
King: What’s wrong with you?
HC: Didn’t… have… any… coffee… today!
King: Great…
Bowser and King pass him… and finally get to Creepy Steeple! It’s a massive church-like building with a creepy gate… leading to the creepy door… of the Creepy Steeple! Whoops! That sounded like Partners in Time! I hope Lord Drash didn’t catch that!
Lord Drash: I did.
Narrator: Uh… sorry?
Lord Drash: Don’t! It’s a great idea for my next story… er… documentary of things that are actually happening…
Anyways, Bowser and King enter the massive church. Inside they see a massive statue at the end. And on that statue is a…
Bowser: Crystal Star!
King: Actually that’s a…
...rock0like representation of a Crystal Star! Bowser slams into the statue, shattering it. Bowser then falls into the newly created hole.
Bowser: AAAAAAHHHHHH!
A splat noise is heard.
King: Uh oh… I better get him.
King blindly jumps in.
King: Perhaps I should have checked out the bottom first? AAAAHHHHHHH!
King lands on Bowser’s head.
Bowser: OW! Stupid minion!
King: Sorry!
Bowser: Let’s just check out this tunnel.
They walk forward a ways until they get to a chest.
King: I don’t think we should open that-
Bowser opens it. A humongous group of Boos fly out.
Bowser: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
King: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Boos: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
They all leave through the tunnel. The last one floats over to Bowser and King.
Boo: How many of us came out of there?
Bowser: Too many!
Boo: Wrong!
He starts to leave, but pauses.
Boo: Moron!
He then flies out with the rest.
Bowser: Am not!
King: Sure…
Bowser: Quiet, you! Let’s just find a way out of here!
They look a bit until they find a large spring. King jumps on it and it carries him back up to the first floor. Bowser jumps on it. Nothing happens.
King: Maybe you’re too heavy!
Bowser: Are you saying I’m FAT?!
King: Yes. Try jumping!
Bowser: Like that would work!
Bowser jumps up. As he does the spring flies up, knocking him back up to the first floor and causing him to slam into the ground up there.
King: Told you so!
Bowser: Yeah… yeah… Shut up.
Bowser gets up. As he does all the Boos reveal themselves.
Boos: BOOOOOOO!!!
Bowser: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
They surround him. Bowser flames them away. They try again and Bowser flames them again!
Boos: GRRRRR! How dare you defend yourself?! MERGE!
All the Boos fly into each other to create a HUGE Boo!
Atomic Boo: HA HA HA!
Bowser: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The Atomic Boo (AB) shoots off a bunch of little Boos. King deflects them.
AB: You seem to be powerful… but can you stop this?
AB covers his face… and then uncovers it while sticking his tongue out!
AB: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Bowser: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
While AB laughs, King jumps on AB.
AB: ACK! I’ve been damaged! RUN AWAY!
He disappears.
Bowser: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! He’s gone!
King: Why is that scary?
Bowser: It’s not.
King: So why were you yelling?
Bowser: Because I will conquer all!
King: Great.
They travel through a door, reaching a room with what appears to be a moveable staircase.
King: I bet we need to find a switch or-
Bowser pushes the staircase to the right.
King: Or you can do that.
They go up it to reach the higher part of the first floor. They come to a locked door which Bowser easily knocks down. They then come to a long, spiraling staircase. They go up it and reach the top… of Creepy Steeple! At the top is a TV, a chair, and other various junk. Sitting on the chair is a strange, freaky guy in a white sheet with eyeholes and a party hat.
Doopliss: ACK! You found my place, Slick!
Bowser: So you’re Doopliss!
Doopliss: That’s right! But you’ll never guess my name!
King: Uh… Doopliss?
Doopliss: Wrongo! What kind of parent would name their kid THAT?
Bowser: Yours?
Doopliss: Ha ha. Very funny.
King: Give us your Crystal Star!
Doopliss: No way! With it I can curse people!
Bowser: So?
Doopliss: Prepare to be… HEADBUTTED!
He flies in the air and then tries to crash onto Bowser. Bowser catches him and throws him onto the ground.
Doopliss: You’re pretty tough, Slick! But can you beat this?!
Doopliss turns into a shadowy version of Bowser.
King: Weird.
oopliss breathes some shadow flames on King.
King: ACK!
Bowser: How dare you breathe fire?!
Doopliss: Oh, I dare!
They charge into each other. Bowser easily pushes Doopliss to the ground and stomps. A massive explosion ensues. The shadow Bowser appears to be unconscious.
“Bowser”: I won! Let’s go, Slick!
King: What?
”Bowser” who is so obviously Doopliss: I’m Bowser! I did NOT switch bodies with myself… er, CONQUER!
King: Okay!
They leave. The REAL Bowser on the floor starts to stir…
Meanwhile, with Luigi…
After a while Luigi’s boat landed on Circuit Break Island! Luigi, Blooey and Jerry got off. Luigi managed to escape his hunger by running very fast… er… not. Luigi discovered that throwing Jerry in the ocean and having him explode would kill a ton of fish. Then he merely had Blooey fly by and grab them. They would then speed away, until they remembered the frantically swimming Jerry, who they would then stop for. They did this numerous times. As the gang touch down, what appears to be a rocket powered kart flies by, nearly whacking Luigi. A Koopa soon appears.
Koopa: Whoops! Sorry about that!
Luigi: What’s wrong with you?!
Koopa: I was in a race! I fell and my kart went BOOM!
Luigi: A race?
Koopa: Yeah! Over there! The prize is some kind of shiny COMPASS piece!
Blooey: I wanna race!
Luigi: Shut up! Why did you emphasize COMPASS?
Jerry: Luigi! Obviously it’s a piece of the Marvelous Compass!
Luigi: Oh. Then I guess we must enter the race and win!
Blooey: Oh thank you Luigi!
Luigi: I’m not doing it for you!
Blooey: You’re just saying that!
Luigi: No I’m not!
Blooey: You’re just saying that too!
Luigi:… Shut up!
They go to the kart racing arena, just in time for the match to end. A Waffler won the cup. Doesn’t matter though as in two hours an entirely different person will have won, meaning the whole thing is rather pointless. The group walk around for a bit trying to figure out how to get a kart when a green Spike Top with a wrench instead of a spike runs up to them.
Torque: Hi! I can tell you need a kart!
Luigi: How?
Torque: I have a wrench!
Luigi: Great. Do you have a kart we can use?
Torque: Sure! I’ll let you use it free of charge!
Luigi: Why?
Torque: Because I’m joining your group!
Luigi: You are?
Torque: Oh thank you for saying I can!
Luigi: But I never did-
Jerry: Actually you did.
Blooey: Yeah, you said “You are”.
Luigi: But it was a question!
Jerry: Doesn’t matter now.
Luigi: Fine. You can join.
Torque: YAY! Let me show you my kart!
He takes them to the side of the arena. A green (duh) kart sits there with a rocket engine in the back.
Torque: Let me show you the controls. This is the gas, this is the acceleration, this is the booster, and this is the rocket engine!
Luigi: You just told me four ways how to go faster.
Torque: Yep!
Luigi: But you didn’t say anything about brakes or steering.
Torque: Brakes? Steering?
Luigi: Right…
Torque: Don’t worry about that! The race is starting! Come on! Get in!
Torque jumps in the kart. Luigi, Blooey and Jerry push it to the line, by seven other similar karts. Luigi then jumps in.
Torque: Get ready to drive!
Luigi: Me?! But YOU made it!
Torque: Yes, but my arms aren’t long enough!
Luigi: Fine!
Luigi gets in position as the bell goes off. All the racers go flying forward.
Luigi: This is fast!
orque: Not yet it isn’t!
After a bit Luigi spots an obstacle.
Luigi: Uh… Torque?
Torque: Yes?
Luigi: There is a BIG wall in front of us!
Torque: So?
Luigi: What do I do?!
Torque: Uh… go faster?
Luigi: What?! How is that supposed to help?
Torque: I don’t know!
Luigi and Torque get closer and closer to the wall…
Luigi: Forget this! I’m jumping!
Torque: Me too!
Both Luigi and Torque jump out of the kart. It crashes into the wall a millisecond after the person in front.
Announcer: We have a winner!
A Goomba goes up to receive his prize.
Luigi: Shoot! Now what?
Jerry and Blooey walk over.
Jerry: Steal it?
Blooey: I like stealing!
Luigi: Sounds good to me!
Torque: I have a wrench!
Luigi: Great…
They run up and grab it!
Announcer: We appear to have a problem!
Luigi takes the Compass Piece off the trophy.
Announcer: Security! Get them!
Luigi throws the trophy at the security guards, making them trip.
Luigi: Let’s get out of here!
They all run back to the boat. Luigi puts the Compass Piece in. The voice begins talking again.
Voice: I am Princess Éclair!
Luigi: Really?
Voice: YES! Now go to the east, to Jazzafraz Town!
Luigi: I don’t think you’re really the prin-
Voice: HURRY UP AND RESCUE ME!!!
Luigi: Okay.
They go.
Meanwhile, in Twilight Town…
The three Shadow Sirens are by some bushes in the corner of the recently uncursed town.
Beldam: So, do you really think Bowser is going to be here?
Marilyn: GUH HUH! FUH TUH!
Beldam: Okay…
Vivian: Hey! Help me find the Superbombomb!
Beldam: I’m telling you, Sis! There is no Superbombomb! You made it up! It’s NOT real!
Vivian: Yes it is!
Beldam: Whatever. Marilyn and I are going to check out some of these incredible doors!
Vivian: Fine! But I get all the credit!
Marilyn: RUH DUH!
Vivian: I do!
Beldam and Marilyn leave.
Vivian: Stupid sisters…
Back to Bowser…
Bowser, in his new shadow body, gets up.
Bowser: Grr… Hey? Why am I all shadowy? That Doopliss! He must have painted me!
Bowser angrily runs all the way through the Steeple and Twilight Trail. Just before he gets to Twilight Town, the sky opens up and “Bowser” comes out.
Bowser: You painted me all shadowy! And stole my Stars and my minions!
Doopliss: “Painted”? I stole your body! Your partners think I’m YOU!
Bowser: Where are they?
Doopliss: Uh… in my shell?
Bowser: I CHALLENGE YOU!
Doopliss: Ha ha! You must guess my name, otherwise you can’t win!
Bowser: It’s Doopliss!
Doopliss: NO! Using this board!
He holds out a rectangular board with capital and lowercases of all letters, EXCEPT the spot for a lowercase p is MISSING!
Bowser: Uh… you’re missing a piece.
Doopliss: Am not.
Bowser: Fine. I’ll just use all caps.
Bowser uses the board to print out DOOPLISS.
Doopliss: What? What kind of parent would name their kid THAT, Slick?
Bowser: Did I mention I hate you?
Doopliss: Once or twice. Prepare to DIE!
Doopliss charges at Bowser, and slams him into a tree.
Bowser: Grr… It’ll take more than that to beat ME!
Bowser unleashes a flame breath… which just bounces off Doopliss.
Bowser: What?!
Doopliss: If you don’t know my name, you can’t hurt me! HA HA HA!
Bowser: But I do know your name!
Doopliss: Uh… no you don’t!
Bowser: Ugggh! I’m leaving!
Bowser runs away.
Doopliss: Huh. I’m going to hide in the sky again!
He jumps back up in the hole in the sky. The hole disappears. Bowser reaches Twilight Town. Several residents run up to him.
Twilighter: That Bowser guy saved us!
Twilighter 2: Yeah. We’re no longer cursed!
Bowser: Yes, I saved you!
Twilighter: Sure…
Twilighter 3: The mayor is sure unhappy!
Twilighter 4: He wanted to eat the pigs, but was cursed before he could! I feel bad for him…
Bowser: Weren’t YOU guys the pigs?
Twilighter 5: Yeah… you’re right! He tried to EAT us! Riot!
They all run screaming to the mayor’s house.
Bowser: Whoops.
Bowser walks around a bit until he sees Vivian rummaging around the bushes.
Bowser: What are you doing?
Vivian: Ah! Oh, a shadow guy!
Bowser: No, I’m-
Vivian: My sisters stink so I’m coming with you!
Bowser: You are?
Voice: She is! Vivian can pull you into the shadows, which although is impossible makes as much sense as everything else in the strange Mario world! She can also stretch, whine, complain, be very annoying, and make you wonder how she can see with her hat and hair obscuring her eyes!
Bowser: What? Another minion?
Voice: PARTNER! THEY’RE PARTNERS!
Bowser: Sure…
Vivian: Quick! I told my sisters there was a Superbombomb around here, which there isn’t! Let’s get out of here! I HATE my sisters!
Bowser: But shouldn’t we get the Superbombomb?
Vivian: There isn’t one!
Bowser: Are you sure?
Vivian: YES! Let’s go!
They leave. Beldam and Marilyn come out of a nearby house.
Beldam: Marilyn, I can’t believe it. You’re plan worked! We got rid of Vivian! YAY!
Marilyn: BUH YUH!
Meanwhile Bowser and Vivian walk back out of Twilight Town. Amazingly enough, Doopliss pops up!
Doopliss: HA HA HA! I got you now Slick!
Vivian: And you are?
Doopliss: Uh… Bowser?
Vivian: So YOU’RE Bowser! Prepare to die!
She charges a fireball in her fist and punches him with it. There is no reaction.
Doopliss: HA HA HA! You see, unless you know my name I am invincible!
Vivian: But you’re Bowser, I know your name!
Bowser: No, I’m Bowser, he’s Doopliss!
Vivian: But if you’re Bowser, then I have to kill you! But I can’t! I’m your partner!
Bowser: Minion.
Vivian: Whatever.
Doopliss: Actually since I stole his body, I also took his name too.
Vivian: So you’re not Bowser?
Bowser: No, I am!
Doopliss: No I am!
Bowser: No you’re Doopliss!
Vivian: I’m so confused!
Doopliss: Ha! Slicks, you couldn’t beat me even if you found the basement of the Steeple, which is through the well by the entrance, and got the letter p, hidden by the parrot!
Bowser: HA!
Doopliss: Crud.
Bowser and Vivian run all the way back to Creepy Steeple.
Doopliss: I’m going to hide in the sky again!
He does. Bowser and Vivian reach Creepy Steeple.
Bowser: Well I think that’s the well!
Vivian: That was a swell observation!
Bowser: Yes, it was well!
Vivian: I still can’t believe I’m partnered with Bowser!
Bowser: Minion.
Vivian: Whatever! Let’s just go down the well!
They go down. Inside approximately twenty Buzzy Beetles attack them. However they soon realize that attacking Bowser’s ankles is pointless, so they run away to grow taller. Or something.
Bowser: I should have kicked them.
They come to a wall blocking their path. Bowser shatters it. Soon they come to a room with a parrot.
Parrot: You’re dumb!
Bowser: Am not!
Parrot: The p is in the chest beneath me!
Bowser: That’s just rude!
Vivian: No you idiot! The p-
Bowser: Silence! I’m having a conversation with an avian creature!
Vivian: Idiot…
While Bowser has an argument with a bird, Vivian takes the p from the chest.
Parrot: You fool! You’re arguing with a creature whose brain is twice the size of yours!
Bowser: Yeah? Well… what? I’m confused!
Vivian: Come on, let’s go.
Bowser: Fine… but I’m watching you, Parrot!
Parrot: Sure…
Bowser and Vivian go back to the town. Doopliss yet again bursts out from the sky.
Doopliss: Guess my name!
Bowser: I know it! We got the p!
Bowser takes out the board, puts the p on it, and writes out Dooliss!
Doopliss: That’s not my name!
Vivian: You didn’t even use the p!
Bowser: Whoops! Let me try again!
Bowser then writes Dopliss!
Doopliss: Still not my name.
Vivian: Maybe I should-
Bowser: I can do it!
Bowser types in Oopliss. This repeats for several hours. But it’s said a Goomba given a typewriter will never type anything as they have no fingers. Or arms. But Bowser never gave up. Eventually Vivian types in Doopliss.
Doopliss: What?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I am vulnerable! To the Steeple!
He runs away.
Bowser: I would have gotten it!
Vivian: Shut up and follow him!
They chase him all the way back to where they battled originally, the top of Creepy Steeple! Upon reaching the top Doopliss turns around and prepares for battle. Bowser and Vivian soon arrive.
Bowser: Give me back my body!
Doopliss: No! I like it! It’s all big and scary like!
Bowser: You can’t beat me! I crushed you last time!
Doopliss: But now… I have minions!
King, Flurrie, Koops and Goombella appear.
Goombella: Uh… We’re not supposed to all be out-
Doopliss: Silence, Slick! Attack that shadow guy!
Koops: You’re not Bowser.
Doopliss: Of course I am! Slick.
Flurrie: Bowser doesn’t say that.
Doopliss: Uh oh.
King: You stole his body!
Vivian: Get him!
Goombella: Who are you?
Vivian: Uh… a new partner?
Koops: Okay!
All five of Bowser’s partners attack Doopliss. Soon he is completely crushed. Bowser gets back his body, and Doopliss turns back to his old self. He then dashes away. He leaves behind a Crystal Star that Bowser grabs.
Bowser: Gwa ha ha! Thanks!
Flurrie: So now… can we stop being your minions?
Bowser: No.
King: You said it would work, Goombella!
Goombella: I said wrong!
Koops: We trusted you!
And so they continue to argue until Bowser makes King, Flurrie, Koops, and Goombella disappear. Vivian and Bowser hike back to Rogueport.
Meanwhile with Peach…
Yet again Peach enters TEC’s room. This time he’s in Quizmaster mode.
Peach: What do you want now?
TEC: To ask you some QUUUUUEEEESSSSSSTTTTTIIIIOOOOONNNNNNSSSS!!!
Peach: Great…
TEC: First… what is behind the Thousand Second Door?
Peach: Never heard of it.
TEC: Wrong!
Peach: Okay…
TEC: Next, who do you love the most?
Peach: Mario.
TEC: Wrong!
Peach: No it isn’t!
TEC: How many coins does your pet donkey have?
Peach: I don’t have a pet donkey!
TEC: Wrong! How about-
Peach: Forget this.
She leaves.
TEC: One day, I’ll win her over… and she shall be my motherboard!
So another Chapter ends… That’s great! Only one question remains… Why IS Mario a hero? How does he do his things? Hmm… Only to not be answered next time!