Chapter 2: Sewers with Giant Dog-like Creatures and an Old Frog with a beard.
Last time Mario and Mallow found a mysterious Star Piece in the Mushroom Kingdom. They also beat Mack the Knife. And now back to the story.
Mallow: Hey! Why are you being unlazy now?
What do you mean?
Mallow: in Chapter 1, you said you were too lazy to type in my name!
Well I'm feeling unlazy right now.
Mallow: ...
Anyways! Mario and Mallow are now confused on what to do.
Mario: I'm so confused on what to do!
I just said that.
Mario: Oh...
Mallow: I know! We should visit my grandpa! He should know!
Mario: Ok. Where does he live?
Mallow: Tadpole Pond.
Mario: ... So he is a tadpole?
Mallow: No... I don't understand why it's called Tadpole Pond.
Mario: Anyways, let's go!
Chancellor: WAIT! I need to talk to you for no reason! Drat! They're already gone.
Mallow: We have to go through Kero Sewers to get to Tadpole Pond.
Mario: Ok... Lead on!
Mario and Co. make it to a pipe that goes to Kero Sewers.
Mallow: Hey! I thought you were being unlazy right now!
I feel lazy right now...
Mallow: ..
Just go down the pipe!
Mario: I've done this dozens of times!
Mallow: Wait for me!
Now Mario and Mallow are in Kero Sewers.
Mario: So where do we go?
Mallow: Well we first go down a pipe, then go down another pipe, then go down another pipe and keep going down other pipes until we reach Belome.
Mario: I have two Questions. One, who is Belome?
Mallow: Not sure. My grandpa says he is a myth like plumbers.
Mario: ... And two, can't we just go down that pipe with the 10-foot sign that says "Way to Belome!!!"
Mallow: Yeah, we could...
Mario and Co. enter the pipe and find a monster with his tongue sticking out.
Mario: Is that Belome?
Mallow: I don't know! I thought it was a myth!
Belome: I'm hungry...
Mario and Co: AHHHHHH!!!
Belome then eats himself!!!
Mario and Co: ...
Mario: Is that a switch?
Mallow: Yes...
Mario: Did you notice the door opened when he got off it?
Mallow: Yes again...
Mario: And I hear water coming!!!
Mario and Co: AHHHHHHHH!!!
Mario and Co get swept away from the flood to Midas River.
Mario: AHHHHHHHHH!!!
One hour later...
Mario: Forget going down this mountain with the waterfall!
Mario jumps off and completely skips the Midas River part.
Random Toad: Congratulations! Here have this Nok Nok Shell for no reason!
Mario: Ok...
Mario and Co. enter Tadpole Pond.
Mario: Is this Tadpole Pond?
Mallow: Yes.
Mario: So where is your grandpa?
Mallow: Over on that island.
Mallow's Grandpa: So you have made it at last!
Lakitu: (Too heavy...)
Mallow's Grandpa: I am Frogfucious.
Mario: How do you pronounce that?
Frogfucious: I'm going to tell you that you need to go to Rose Town, where they need your help.
Mario: But you didn't answer my question!
Frogfucious: And Mallow, you're not a tadpole!
Mallow: I know already...
Frogfucious: I shall now give a Froggiestick!
Lakitu: That's it!
Lakitu lets go of Frogfucious from his fishing pole and he falls in to the water and gets eaten by the tadpoles.
Mario and Co: ...
Tadpoles: Yum!
End of Chapter 2:
When will Mario and Mallow find the princess? Why is Tadpole Pond called Tadpole Pond even though there are frogs there? What is Mallow actually? When will I stop asking these questions? Find out in Chapter 3: Bowyer and Aeros Attack!
Chapter 3: Bowyer and Aeros Attack!
Last time Mario and Mallow beat up Frogfucius and talked to Belome about the Star Pieces.
Mallow: Hey! You got the fact about my grandpa and Belome wrong!
I don’t care. I’m just getting on with the story. Mario and Mallow…
Mallow: And you’re not being lazy now!
I DON’T CARE! Now back to the story. Mario and Mallow are now going to Rose Town by going through the Rose Way. Little do they know, someone Mario knows is there…
Mario: How do we get across this lake?
Mallow: We jump on those tiles.
About 1,000,000 tries later... All right, one try later because Mario doesn’t know that he needed to get off the tile and onto the island thing to the other tiles.
Mario: Forget this! I’m just going to swim!
Mallow: But that’s…
Mario starts swimming to the exit of this area.
Mallow: … Never mind.
Mario and Mallow enter the end of the area and notice someone is there.
Mario: Since when did I bring a cloud on my adventure?
NO YOU MORON! YOU ALREADY DID THIS GAG IN THE PROLOGUE! YOU NOTICE BOWSER!
Bowser: Ok… uh… why did I get my army assembled again? And why do I only have 15 troops?
Magikoopa: Because we’re trying to get your Keep back from those new guys.
Bowser: Oh right. Now off we go!
And Bowser leaves with his troops.
Mallow: They must be headed to Bowser’s Keep.
Mario: But the bridge is out…
It is not.
Mario: Silly narrator, the bridge was out. I saw it!
… Forget this. Mario and Co. enter Rose Town and find that there is actually no problem.
Mario: What’s the problem?
Random Toad: Nothing. It’s just Rose Town’s Annual Random Wear Your Helmet All Day Day.
Mallow: Why are there arrows raining down from the sky?
Random Toad: I dunno. But they are coming from the Forest. And a large Star crashed into the Forest.
Mario: Than let’s go to the Forest!
Random Toad: Wait! You can’t enter the Forest!
Mario: Why?
Random Toad: Because you’re supposed to sleep at the inn first.
Mario: Ok…
Mario and Co. enter the inn and find a little boy and the innkeeper.
Little Boy: My name is Gaz.
Mario: Ok, Gaz, can we…
Gaz: Geno! Use your Superstar Shot!
Mario: Wha?
BANG!
Mario: X_X
Innkeeper: Good job, Gaz! Now let’s steal his stuff.
Gaz: Ok!
Mario then is seen in a bed. And downstairs a random star appears.
Random Star: Uhh... I’ll just pick one at random. This one!
The Random Star takes the Geno doll.
Geno: Uhh… How do I walk?
Geno later has difficulty walking but eventually makes it to the Forest Maze. Mario wakes up and exits to the Forest Maze immediately without realizing his stuff is gone.
Mario: I’m lost.
Mallow: We didn’t even go one step from the entrance.
Mario: Oh… uhh… I knew that.
Mallow: …
After about going through about five stumps they encounter a Wiggler.
Mario: Hello Mr. Caterpillar!
Wiggler: Zzz…
Mario: ?
Mallow: I bet you can’t jump on its back!
Mario: I can too!
Mario jumps on its back and the Wiggler immediately wakes up.
Wiggler: ROAR!
Mario and Co: AHHHHH!!!
The Wiggler makes a huge earthquake and makes the next area open up. Than they go down more stumps and enter the four-path part of the Forest Maze.
Mario: Where do we go?
Mallow: I dunno. Let’s go in random directions!
Mario: Ok!
After some dumb luck, they somehow manage to get to the area where Bowyer is.
Bowyer: 997! 998! 999! 1000! NYA! 1000 ARROWS! MAKE MORE STATUES I WILL!
Aeros: Woohoo! I love being thrown and freezing them! Hey! Stop copying me! Stop it! I’m serious! That’s it!
The Aeros beat each other up 'til they’re no more.
Bowyer: NYA!
Mallow: ACK! Mario! Someone is coming!
Mario: Oh no! Hide!
Mario and Co. hide behind a stump.
Aero: Hey Bowyer! Look what I found!
Bowyer: NYA?! YOU! USE YOU I WILL!
Aero: What? NOOO! AHHHH!
???: STOP!!!
Geno falls out of the sky via a plothole.
Bowyer: NYA! YOU COME FROM WHERE?!
Geno: A plothole! I can’t fly and the trees here aren’t tall enough to jump high enough!
Bowyer: NYA! HOW
DARE YOU? PLOTHOLE NOT USED BY WEIRD STRANGE DRESS PERSON!
TEACH YOU I WILL!
NYA!
Mario: We better help him.
Mallow: Ok…
Mario and Co. jump from the stump and crash into Bowyer.
Mario and Co: AHH!!!
Bowyer: NYA!!!
Bowyer then for no reason malfunctions.
Bowyer: NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA! NYA!
BOOM!
Mario: …
Mallow: …
Geno: …
All of Plit: …
Earth: …
Geno: I am HeartNote!? but you can call me Geno after the doll.
Mario: Are you from the Star Road?
Geno: Yes… How did you know?
Mario: Mallow said he’d paid me five follars if I said that.
Geno: … Ok…That is a Star Piece. There are seven in total. I shall now join you!
Mario: Why?
Geno: Because.
Mario: Why?
Geno: I need someone to help me collect the Star Pieces.
Mario: Why?
Geno: I just told you.
Mario: Why?
Geno: Just bring me with you.
Than Mario explodes for no reason.
Mallow and Geno: ?!
Than Mario comes from the path that goes to the four-path maze.
Mario: I had to use the bathroom. So what did I miss?
Geno: Uhh… me joining you.
Mario: Ok…
Geno: Now collect that Star Piece!
Mario: Ok.
Aero: Oh! Oh! I heard everything! Who knew that Star was so important? I got to tell the boss!
The Aero runs off but crashes into a tree and dies.
Mario: Let’s go to another random place and hope there is a Star Piece there!
End of Chapter 3
When will Mario
find the princess? Why is there an Annual Random Wear Your Helmet All Day
Day in Rose Town? Who is the Shysters’ and Aeros' actual boss? When will
I really stop asking these questions? Find out in Chapter 4: Moleville
Mountain Blows Up!
Chapter 4: Moleville Mountain Blows Up!
Last time Mario and Co. learned about the Star Road and got a new partner named Geno. So now I can say Co. whenever I want! Now Mario and Co. have headed in a completely random direction which led them to Moleville.
Mario: Hey look! A pipe!
NO! That’s not to…
Mario and Co. enter the Pipe Vault.
… Never mind.
Mario: Where are we?
Mallow: Underground.
Mario: Oh…
Geno: Let’s see what’s over there.
Mario and Co. jump on the tiles across the lava and fight all the Goombas and Piranha Plants in the next room until they reach a room full of pipes.
Mario: Which pipe should we go through?
Geno: I vote the last one!
Mallow: Me too!
Mario: Ok.
Mario and Co enter the last pipe and find a room with lots of brick stacks that can be easily jumped over.
Mario: How do we get across to the other side?
Mallow: We jump over the brick stacks like you jumping over Piranha Plants.
Mario: Oh yeah…
Mario and Co. manage to jump across and go through the pipe to the next room.
Mario: What’s with the giant pots?
Than a ferocious Piranha Plant and Nipper plant attempt to bite Mario but forget they are stuck in the pots. But then they pull too hard and get separated from their roots and die immediately.
Mario and Co: …
They enter the next pipe and see another pot, more easily jumped over brick stacks, and platforms.
Mallow: Do you know how to do this, Mario?
Mario: Of course! First we jump over the easily jumped over brick stacks and on to the moving platform, then we jump over the Piranha Plant’s pot, and finally jump over the final brick stack and down the pipe!
Mallow and Geno: O_O
They do Mario’s plan (and also get the treasure box with coins) and find themselves on Yo’ster Isle.
Mario: Is there a problem?
Red Yoshi: Yoshi!
Yellow Yoshi: Yoshi!
Boshi: Boshi!
Yoshi: (Hi Mario!)
Mario: Yoshi?! I thought you lived in Dinosaur Land!
Yoshi: (I moved here. And we have a problem.)
Mario: What?
Yoshi: (Boshi won’t let us race!)
Mario: Don’t worry! We’ll handle him!
(The following scenes are removed because they are too violent.)
Boshi: (Pain…)
Yoshi: (YAY! We can race without mean Boshi!)
Other Yoshis: (YAY!)
Mario and Co. then leave and enter a town.
Mario: Where are we?
Mallow: Can’t you read? There is a sign right in front of us!
Sign: THIS IS MOLEVILLE! HOME OF MOLES!
Geno: Did the sign just talk?
Than the sign opens a secret flap under the word MOLES and it says something.
Sign: NO!!!
Geno: … Odd sign.
Mario: What sign?
Mallow and Geno: …
After lots of walking they notice something.
Mario and Co: When did we get here?
… I’m not going to say anything.
Bowser: MWAHAHAHA! I have no idea how we ended up here!
Magikoopa: You said this was a shortcut.
Bowser: Darn right I did. It’s the best shortcut in the history of shortcuts!
Goomba: But wouldn’t going through the Mushroom Kingdom, then through Mushroom Way, than past Mario’s Pad and Vista Hill lead to your Keep faster?
Bowser: Silence! I’m the king around here! And I demand to go through this shortcut!
Magikoopa: Yes, Lord Bowser…
Bowser: And why am I down to six troops?
Goomba: Most of our allies have run off because they either had to use the bathroom, lost something important, or just ran off.
Bowser: Oh… Now we’re off to my Keep!
After that Mario and Co. see a mole woman looking worried.
Mario: What’s the problem?
Mole Woman: Our kids! We lost our kid bombs!
Mario: You let kids use bombs?!
Woman Mole: No! Our kid bombs! We lost those! They are tiny bombs that are used for something I don’t know!
Mario: Then why do you want them?
Woman Mole: I don’t know!
Mario: Anything else?
Woman Mole: A Star fell in the mountain and caused an explosion and made the mountain collapse!
Mario and Co. look up and see the mountain is fine.
Mario: But your mountain is fine.
Woman Mole: What? Oh! This isn’t our mountain! That’s our mountain.
She points to a mountain that looks like it had an avalanche.
Mario and Co: O_O
Mallow: How are we supposed to get in there?!
Woman Mole: That entrance right there.
She points to an entrance that somehow didn’t even get hit by any rocks but everywhere around it are boulders.
Mallow: O_o How did it survive?
Woman Mole: Plothole!
Mario and Co: …
Woman Mole: GO ALREADY!
Mario and Co enter the mountain.
Woman: Finally! Hey Pa!
Pa Mole: What, Ma?
Ma Mole: The tourists left!
Pa Mole: Than we can remove this fake background now!
He pulls off the fake background which covered an amusement park.
Ma and Pa Mole: WOOHOO!
Back with Mario and Co...
Mario: Where are we supposed to go now?
Mallow: I don’t know…
Geno: How about there?
He points to a door with a huge sign above it.
Huge Sign: THIS WAY TO THE STAR!
Mario and Mallow: That’ll work.
Mario and Co. enter through the door and see a purple weirdo with lots of bombs.
Purple Weirdo with Lots of Bombs: Good day to you.
Mario: Give us the Star!
PWWLOB: I was just about to have a spot of tea with my bomb friends, then you showed up.
Mario: …
PWWLOB: But if you insist we fight, then BRING IT ON! Eat this!
PWWLOB sends out lots of (unlit) Micro Bombs.
PWWLOB: Get them!
The Micro Bombs crash into Mario and Co. but don’t explode.
PWWLOB: Curses! I’m going to send stronger bombs now!
PWWLOB sends a bunch of (unlit) Bob-ombs at them but don’t explode either.
PWWLOB: HOW ANNOYING! It's clobbering time!
PWWLOB sends out (unlit) Mezzo Bombs but they don’t explode either.
Mario: Do you have a name?
PWWLOB: Yes, it’s Punchinello!
Mario and Co: How do you spell that?
Punchinello: Uhh… I have no idea. Uhh… I know! I’ll stomp around and cause an earthquake to know how to spell my name!
He does so and something falls from the ceiling and lands on him!
Punchinello: ARGH!
King Bomb: …
Mario: I’ll get the Star. :et’s get out of here quickly and quietly.
Then by coincidence, a flaming rock falls on King Bomb’s fuse.
King Bomb: OW!!!
Mario and Co: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
All of Moleville, Moleville Mountain, and the amusement park explodes!
Mario: How did we survive that?
Plothole!
Mario: Oh…
Geno: Wait! I just remembered! I’m not from the Star Road!
Mario: You’re not?
Geno: Nope! I’m from the Dumb Star Road and we’re collecting the seven Dumb Stars!
Mario: So what are they used for?
Geno: Making people who wear a red cap with an M on it, gloves, and blue overalls turn into cheese-loving morons!
Mario: !!!
Mallow: So how is that important?
Geno: If there are no morons, then there will be an unbalance of the smart people who wear green caps with an L on it instead of red caps with Ms.
Mallow: Oh…
Mario: Wait a second!
Geno: Let’s go!
End of Chapter 4
Why is Mario freaking out? Why did Ma and Pa Mole hide the amusement park under a fake mountain background? Why do I keep asking these questions? Why do I keep asking why do I ask these questions? Find out in Chapter 5: Booster’s Tower, Marrymore, and Star Hill Oh My! Featuring Wedding Cake!