Super Mario RPG: No Legend of the 7 Dumb Stars

By Crazy Koopa

Chapter 10: A Dragon Zombie and Crazy People with Axes? AHHHHHHH!!!

Last time Mario and Co. beat Valentina and got a key out of her. The key opened the door that King Nimbus was in. Now they are all in Nimbus Land.

King Nimbus: A star fell in the volcano!

Mario and Co: WHAT?!

King Nimbus: The only way to go there is through the hot springs!

Queen Nimbus: Also a crazy Mushroomer named Kinopio lives there.

King Nimbus: Not to mention the Czar Dragon.

Mallow: To the hot springs!

Later...

Mario: What kind of hot springs is this?!

Many springs that are 1,000 degrees Celsius can be seen.

Mallow: I don't get it either. And I live here.

Mario: Let's just... Hey! A path!

Mario and Co. go down what looks like a path, but is actually a cliff.

Mario and Co: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Five minutes later...

Mario: HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT!

Geno: AHHHHHH! I'M BURNING!

Then snow falls for some reason.

Mario: What?

Lemmy: Another volcano down! Now it's a snowcone!

Mario: Oh, I get it!

Lemmy leaves on his doomship.

Geno: That was odd.

Then it rains for no reason.

Geno: This is getting weird.

Wendy: Another person made of wood saved!

Wendy leaves on her doomship.

Mallow: What is everyone doing to the volcano anyways?

Meanwhile outside...

Morton: All right, everyone! Pull!

Meanwhile on the other side of the volcano from Morton...

Ludwig: All right, everyone! Pull!

Back inside...

Princess: What's next?! Iggy beating up Roy? Roy cooking? Just tell me! What's next?!

Meanwhile in Castle Koopa...

Iggy: I finally beat up Roy!

Meanwhile in the Castle Koopa kitchen...

Roy: This fish must be grilled perfectly!

Back to Barrel Volcano...

Princess: Can we go?

Mario: Sure.

Mario and Co. continue through the slush (Snow + Rain = Slush). Mario and Co. make it to Kinopio easily because every enemy froze since they aren't used to the cold.

Kinopio: Welcome! I own this item shop/inn/armor shop!

Mario: How can you run all those shops?

Kinopio: By running around them!

Mario: Can we buy some fireproof junk?

Kinopio: Sure!

Kinopio shows Mario fireproof junk.

Mario: I didn't mean actual junk.

Kinopio: The only thing closer to junk are these fireproof shirts, pants, capes, shells, and dresses.

Mario: I'll buy them!

Kinopio: Ok... (Weirdo...)

Mario and Co. continue and cross the slush-covered lava. The next room contains the scariest thing imaginable!

Mario: Peach's in-law?

Mallow: Mario's feet?

Geno: Mario's feet?

Bowser: Wendy without her makeup?

Princess: Bowser?

Two things, One, Bowser is next to you, moron! And two... ALL OF YOU ARE MORONS! You see a dead dragon.

Dead Dragon: Roar!

Mario: That's not so scary. I have a feeling I'll see something scarier than that in a town called Rogueport. But what are the chances are that?

Cut to the 100th Floor of the Pit of 100 Trials...

Bonetail: ROOOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRR!

Mario: Meep! I think I made wee-wee!

Vivian: Eww!

Mario: He is 100 times scarier than Zombone!

Cut back to Barrel Volcano...

Dead Zombie: Aww... That was uncalled for.

Mario: Do you have a name?

Dead Dragon: *sob* It *sob* use to be *sob* the Czar Dragon. But now *sob* it's Zombone!

Mallow: What's with the sobbing Zombone?

Zombone: *Sob* That mean red plumber was mean to me!

Mallow: Seriously?! Plumbers exist?!

Mario: Yes. What? Did you think they were a myth?

Flashback to Chapter 2...

Mallow: Belome is a myth, like plumbers!

Mario: ...

End of Flashback...

Mario: Oh yeah...

Mallow: Well, can we go past?

Zombone: Sure!

Mario and Co. enter the next room and find the sixth Dumb Star!

Mario: Yippee!

Mario obtains... Hey! Oh well...

Axem Red: We have the Star!

Axem Green: Behold how cool we are!

Axem Black: And how stupid you all look!

Axem Pink: And how ugly that princess looks!

Princess: Hey!

Axem Yellow: We are invincible!

Axem Red: C'mon, gang! The Blade is waiting!

Mario: Get them!

Axem Red obtains his first Dumb Star! He has six more to find.

Mario: Seriously! Where is that voice coming from?

The Axem Rangers and Mario and Co. make it to the top of the giant unflavored snowcone.

Mario: I thought we were in Barrel Volcano.

Lemmy turned it into a giant snowcone.

Mario: Oh yeah...

Axem Red: The Blade is late! What's taking him so long?!

Axem Yellow: It's right there.

Axem Red: Oh, right.

The Axem Rangers jump onto the Blade. Mario and Co. also jump onto the Blade.

Battle Start!

Axem Red: 500 HP
Axem Green: 450 HP
Axem Black: 300 HP
Axem Yellow: 600 HP
Axem Pink: 500 HP

Mario: 5 HP
Mallow: 5 HP
Geno: 6 HP
Bowser: 4 HP
Princess: 10 HP

Mario: Oh no! We forgot to heal after we fought Valentina!

Axem Green: DIE! Meteor Blast!

Mario: 0 HP
Mallow: 0 HP
Geno: MISSED!
Bowser: 0 HP
Princess: 0 HP

Geno: Ha! Missed me!

Axem Black: My turn!

Geno: Meep!

Axem Black: Spritz Bomb!

Geon: 0 HP

Mario and Co. are knocked out! GAME OVER!

Mario: NOOOOOO!!! I forgot to save!

After redoing the Prologue and Chapters 1-9...

Mario: We're back! And this time, we're healed!

Battle Start!

Axem Red: 500 HP
Axem Green: 450 HP
Axem Black: 300 HP
Axem Yellow: 600 HP
Axem Pink: 500 HP

Mario: 500 HP
Mallow: 450 HP
Geno: 300 HP
Bowser: 600 HP
Princess: 500 HP

Mario: DIE! Triple Rock Candy!

Axem Red: 0 HP
Axem Green: 0 HP
Axem Black: 0 HP
Axem Yellow: 0 HP
Axem Pink: 0 HP

Axem Red: FORMATION HO!!!

Axem Rangers:
1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000 HP

Mario and Co: Meep!

Axem Rangers: Cannons charged! Lasers locked! Guillotines good to go! Fire the Breaker! BREAKER BEAM!

Mario: We're over here.

Axem Rangers: HOW DID YOU AVOID THAT BLAST?!

Mallow: You blasted over there. *points to the left.*

Axem Rangers: OH NO! MUST RECHARGE!

Mario: Bucket of Water attack!

Axem Rangers: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGADIBLAGIDIAAAG!!!

Axem Rangers: 0 HP

Axem Red: OH NO! I FORGOT TO INSTALL THE WATERPROOF ARMOR!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Mario: How did we survive?

Plothole!

Mallow: Look! The Star!

Mario obtains the sixth Dumb Star! Just one left to find!

Mario: That was TOO easy.

End of Chapter 10

Why did Axem Red forget to install the waterproof armor? Find out in Chapter 11: Exor Gets Destroyed!

Read on!


 
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