Super Mario RPG: No Legend of the 7 Dumb Stars

By Crazy Koopa

Chapter 13: Countdown to your Doom! Then Showdown with Two Idiot Jesters! Then Versus the Factory Staff! Then Versus the Gunyolk! Then Versus Smithy! This is a Very Long Chapter!

Last time Mario and Co. went around the world in a 200k dash!

Now on a screen...

Narrator: It looks like Mario, Geno, and Bowser are all ready to go!

Mario: We never did a 200k dash!

Narrator: What, really? *flips through his script* Oh. Mario and Co. are in Smithy's Factory.

Mario: It's so dark!

Geno: Hey Mario! Look over there!

Geno points to a Countdown sign.

Mario: Let's go!

Countdown: What? How did you get here so fast?

Mario: We used that path.

Mario points to the path that had the sign that said to Countdown.

Countdown: Dang! I should've hid it in a harder location.

Ding-a-ling 1: MARIO IS HERE!

Ding-a-ling 2: MARIO IS HERE!

Ding-a-lings: EXPLOSION!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Mario: Wow! We survived!

Princess: To there!

Mario and Co. enter a new area.

Machine Made (Mack): MARIO! I'M BACK!

Mario: Who are you? Never mind. I have to go.

Machine Made (Mack): Aww...

Mario and Co. enter another new area.

Machine Made (Bowyer): NYA! BACK I AM!

Mario: We're not here?

Machine Made (Bowyer): Sorry.

Mario: Idiot.

Mario and Co. climb the stairs.

Machine Made (Axem Red): Die, Mario!

Machine Made (Axem Rangers): Oh no! We can't go to the Interviews looking like this!

Machine Made (Axem Red): Ack! You're right! Quick! Get some paint!

Mario: ...

Mario and Co. enter the next area.

Machine Made (Yaridovich): I'm back! And I won't destroy this block unless you beat me!

Mario: Ok! DIE! SUPER MACHINE DESTROYING LASER!

Yaridovich: THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!

Yaridovich melts and the block he was standing on explodes!

Mario: Let's go!

Mario and Co. jump down the hole.

BOOM!

Cloaker: Well, well, well, a couple of idiots fell for our trap!

Domino: Why was I named Domino?

Cloaker: Shaddup.

Domino: Fine.

Cloaker: Now... DIE!

Mario: Ultra Flame!

Cloaker: ACK! IT BURNS!

Domino: Ice Rock!

Lemmy: There it is! Wait... YOU STOLE IT FROM ICE LAND BANK WHEN I WAS GOING TO STEAL IT! DIE!!!

Domino: ACK! IT HURTS!

Lemmy: Yay!

Lemmy obtains an Ice Rock!

Mario: DIE!

Cloaker and Domino: NO!!! Tell our snakes... we... NEVER LIKED THEM!

Earth Link: ...

Mad Adder: ...

Mario: Wha?

System Voice: Due to the fact Cloaker and Domino died, the Earth Link and Mad Adder are completely useless.

Mario: Oh.

Mario and Co. enter the Production line section of the Factory!

Clerk: Mario is here!

Manager: Destroy him!

Director: Yeah!

Mario: We can fight you factory staff working goons!

Manager: Actually, the real staff is up ahead. We're just for show.

Mario: Oh. TO THE NEXT ROOM!

Mario and Co. enter the next room and find...

Mario: A regular old staff...

Meanwhile...

Grodus: Crump! Have you seen my staff?

Crump: Nope! I didn't sell it on Ebay for less than five coins.

Back to the Fun Fiction...

Mario: We're here to challenge Smithy!

Factory Chief: Than you must fight, the Gunyolk!

Gunyolk: What kind of name is that?

Factory Chief: A brilliant one!

Gunyolk: Then you're an idiot! DIE!

Factory: NO! MARIO HAS DEFEATED ME! SMITHY! DON'T DOCK MY PAY!!!

Switch: Jump on me, worm!

Mario: Switches don't talk. Oh well, better step on this switch.

Switch: OW! *click!*

Mario and Co. get lifted by a crane and are taken to Smithy!

Smithy: Wha? How did you get by my Souvenier Stand of Doom?

Mario: We didn't see a souvenier stand anywhere here.

Smithy: Oh. I forgot to install it. Anyways, EN GARDE!

Technical Difficulties! We shall replace this last bit with some commercials!

Crazy: Have you wanted to look for a good Fun Fiction on Lemmy's Land?

Lakitu: Yes I have! And who's the idiot that wrote this script?

Crazy: I'm docking your pay for that. Anyways, well look no further! Here is one of the best Fun Fictions (well it's not in Little Lemmy's Land yet) to me and some tourists, Mario & Luigi: The Trip Across Nintendo Land!

Lakitu: Wow! Who is the author? And why are you docking my pay?

Crazy: E-Man is the author! And I'm docking you pay because I wrote this script!

Lakitu: ... Well tell me what's in this Fun Fiction.

Crazy: It features lots of places in this order: Mushroom Kingdom, DK Island, Hyrule, Thorntail Hollow, Dreamland, Pikmin Land AKA Earth, Pokemon Island (Though the music is bad. And I mean BAD.), and Jiggy Country! All the bad guys are too stupid...

Bad Guys (Bowser, Wendy, K. Rool, Iggy, Morton, Roy, Kracko, Dedede, Larry, Ludwig, Grunty, Klungo, and Lemmy): HEY!!!

Crazy: Uh... Except Iggy, Lemmy, and Larry.

Iggy, Lemmy, and Larry: Ok.

Crazy: Now where was I, oh yeah too stupid to know they'll lose! Now go and read the Fun Fiction! I'm getting paid to add this commercial!

Lakitu: Do it! He's Crazy!

Crazy: Exactly!

End of Commercial...

Smithy: Pain...

Mario: We won!

Smithy: NO!!! I SHALL POUND THR GROUND AND FORCE YOU TO ENTER MY FACTORY'S BASEMENT!

Boom, boom, BOOM!!!

Smelter: Finally a speaking role!

Smithy: Curse you! I shall enter my true form for our Final Battle!

BOOM!

Smithy Head: Bwahaha!

FINAL BOSS BATTLE!

Smithy: 8,000 HP
Body: 1,000 HP

Mario: 700 HP
Mallow: 670 HP
Geno: 900 HP
Bowser: 1000 HP
Princess: 1500 HP

Smithy: Change Head!

Body: Buzz! Click! Change Head activated!

Smithy (Tank): Magnum!

BOOM!

Geno: 0 HP! It's a 1 Hit KO!

Mario: Wait! Geno is wearing the Jinx Belt!

Geno: 900 HP! Attack has no effect!

Smithy: Magnum!

BOOM!

Bowser: 0 HP! It's a 1 Hit KO!

Mallow: Shocker!

BOOM!

Smithy: 7,219 HP
Body: 999 HP

Mario: What?

It felt a shock after Smithy was hit.

Mario: Oh.

Smithy: Change Head!

Body: Buzz! Click! Change Head activated!

Smithy (Sorcerer): Boulder!

Mario: 400 HP
Mallow: MISSED!
Geno: MISSED!
Bowser: MISSED!
Princess: MISSED!

Mario: Lazy Shell Attack!

Smithy: 6,700 HP

Geno: Star Gun Attack!

Smithy: 6,200 HP

Mallow: Sonic Cymbals!

Smithy: 5,700 HP

Princess: Frying Pan Attack!

Smithy: 5,200 HP

Bowser: Drill Claw Attack!

Smithy: 4,500 HP

Smithy: Quick! Change Head!

Body: Buzz! Click! Don't rush me! Change Head activated!

Smithy (Iron Safe): Mega Recover!

Smithy: 4,500 + 700 = 5,200 HP

Body: Gun!

Geno: 823 HP!

Smithy: Change Head!

Body: Buzz! Click! Change Head activated!

Smithy (Treasure Chest): Random Ailment!

Mario: TREASURE! I MUST OPEN THE BOX!

Smithy: Wha? ACK!

Mario: Aw man! The only thing in here is one coin! Oh well, I'll just stick it in this one cent slot here on Smithy's Body.

Smithy: WHAT?!

Body: Self-destruct activated.

Smithy: NOOOOOO!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Mario: ...

Geno: C'mon, Mario! Send that last Star up high!

Mario: No way!

Geno: Why?

Mario: Because I'll become dumb if that happens!

Geno: But the legendary Dumb Star Road needs to be repaired!

Mario: Fine...

Mario obtains the seventh and last Dumb Star!

Geno: Well I guess this is goodbye. Oh, before I leave... I LIED!

Everyone except Geno: WHAT?!

Geno: The Dumb Star Road is NOT legendary! HAHAHAHAHA!

Mario: GET HIM!!!

Geno: ACK! I MUST ESCAPE NOW!

The star from inside Geno escapes!

Mario: Wait a minute...

Mallow: What?

Mario: How do we get out of here?

Mallow: Uh oh.

BOOM!

Mario: What the?

Toad: I escaped my evil therapist to save you guys! I got a rocket that'll take us out of here!

Mario: How did you get in here?

Toad: I made a big hole in the wall, then flew in!

Mario: Oh.

What happened to everyone else?

Mario: Mario started saying "CHEESE" and played around in E. Gadd's Lab and activated the Turn Every Person on Plit Tin Machine.

Mallow: Got kicked out of Nimbus Land for not acting prince-like.

Geno: Unknown.

Bowser: Took over Smithy's dimension, and make everyone in it his minions but then they escaped. Bowser then forced his troops to rebuild his castle. Also he managed to sue the princess and Johnny.

Princess: Stayed in the Mushroom Kingdom and became the new ruler for not being princess-like. She also won her case against Bowser.

Chancellor: Got sued for being a one-of-a-kind Mushroomer by Toad.

Toad: Sued the Chancellor. He is now the princess' right hand Mushroom.

Johnny: Got sued and lost his ship. He got caught by cannibalistic Spear Guys and was eaten.

King Calamari: Made the world record for being the biggest calamari dinner.

Smithy: Exploded into 1,000,000 pieces. He is beyond repair.

Goombario: Is still in the hospital after being attacked in the last chapter.

Everyone Else: Who cares?

Old Narrator: Turned out to be Luigi.

New Narrator: Turned out to be Iggy Koopa.

The End

Wait for my next story, Tin Mario, a Paper Mario parody! Only the people are tin!

Did you like this submission?
If you would like to send some feedback to the author of this submission, please complete this form.

What's your name? 
This is required.

What's your Email address?
Only enter this if you would like the author to respond.

How do you rate this submission? 
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being best.

Does this submission belong in Little Lemmy's Land? 
Little Lemmy's Land is designed to include the top ten percent of submissions.

Would you like to see more from this author? 

Comments and suggestions:

 
ZY.Freedback.com: Stunning, fast, FREE!
FREE feedback form powered by Freedback.com
Freedback.com

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to mymain page.