Love: Clone Style

By Joshua

Author’s Note: The original concept of Meeting was created by Karma Koopa. Read her incredible FFs first, so you get a better idea of what’s going on. I also recommend reading her guide on Meeting Special thanks to her for inspiration. As Stuffwell would say, BACK TO ADVENTURE! Or something.
 

CHAPTER 1: THE BEGINNIG – MARIO’S ATTACK!

It began on a hot April morning. Outside his Grass Land vacation house, Joshua sat underneath a tree, tuning his guitar. “I really ought to take lessons for this thing; I have no idea what I’m doing.” The spring breeze gently caressed him, and he felt at peace with Plit.

Meanwhile, his clone, Josh Koopa was walking along Pleasant Path. He never truly felt that he was part of this multiverse. Half human, he may never be accepted on Plit. Half Koopa, he would never be accepted on Earth. He wondered if anyone could accept him, look past his hybrid self…

His quiet musings were interrupted by a yell. A yell that sounded like a certain plumber. Josh Koopa then found fireballs raining down on him, striking everywhere on his body. What’d I ever do to you, Mario?! he thought angrily. Eventually they stopped. And the jumping and hammering started. The clone fell down, battered and burnt to a crisp, unconscious, and thinking, Why me?

Back at the house, Joshua had no idea of what was happening. He merely sat and attempted to tune his guitar. “I wonder if there are actually any good guitar tutors on Plit… He went about his day as normal, until dinnertime. Hmm. Josh Koopa still hasn’t come back from his walk yet. Where is that idiot clone of mine? The answer was on a small farm near Koopa Village…
 

CHAPTER 2: ANGEL WITH THE PINK SHELL

Josh Koopa was surprised to awaken at all. If he’d survived a Mario beating, maybe he was as tough as Bowser! But better looking. And not as fat. Eventually, his vision came into focus, and he saw a female Koopa with light brown hair and a pink shell in front of him. She looked like an angel to him in his state. His head was ringing from the jumping, but suddenly, there was a soothing. An ice pack had been placed on his forehead. “Nice to meet you,” he said, “Nighty-night.” He passed out again.
 

CHAPTER 3: NIGHTMARES AND MUSINGS

Meanwhile, Joshua was getting worried. He stared at the moon, hanging in the night sky. He didn’t particularly care for his clone, but, he was the better chef, and the few meals Joshua could make weren’t exactly breakfast and dinner material. Cheesecake, pancakes, and Spanish omelette. (What? It’s tasty!) He thought about his home in Northern Ireland. He wondered if his family even missed him. For he, too, was an outcast. He was the black sheep of the family for one reason. He was smart. After a light supper of a pancake and milk, and sporting a milk moustache, Joshua turned in for the night.
 

Josh Koopa was having a nightmare. The girl who was taking care of him was being brutally murdered by Bowser. “Tougher than me? Then come save your girlfriend!” But he couldn’t. He was running as fast as his legs would carry him, but not moving. Wait, that wasn’t true, he was moving, but he was moving backwards. And Sledge Bros. were pounding him. With a huge blow from one of the Sledge Bros, Josh Koopa awoke. He had fallen on to the floor, out of his bed. The female Koopa came into the room. “Are you hurt? I heard a crash.”

“I’m fine; I was just… having a nightmare.”

“What about?”

“I don’t remember,” the clone lied.

“You think I’m that stupid?” the girl asked, offended. “Come on, tell Amie all about it.” Amie. So that’s her name.

“I’m waiting, “she said impatiently. Josh decided to be evasive, yet nonchalant.

“You know, I’m REALLY tired, so I’m going to go back to sleep. Good night.” Amie looked at him suspiciously, and then shrugged.

“You’re a weird little Koopa.” Weirder than you know, honey. “Well, good night. And try not to fall out of bed again. The floor’s made of stone. My room’s right next door if you need anything.” Josh realized that he’d wake up sore and with a bruise in the morning…
 

CHAPTER 4: THE KOOPA PRINCE ASSISTS

In the morning, Joshua awoke. But he didn’t smell bacon like he usually did. He remembered that his clone was missing. “This is getting serious,” he said. “I need to turn detective.” Joshua pulled out an old Sherlock Holmes costume he’d worn to a Halloween party at Larry’s castle, and set out for the aforementioned castle. Odds were, he’d need help finding his clone…
 

“So what you’re saying is, Josh Koopa’s missing, and you want my help to find him,” said Larry.

“That’s about it,” replied Joshua, smoking a bubble pipe.

“Pass.”

“You do it, and I’ll get Josh Koopa to cook all your meals for the day. AND I’ll go and beat Susan up.”

“How badly?”

“I won’t kill her, but she’ll be pretty maimed.”

“Deal.”
 

The odd team walked around Pleasant Path, where the clone went for his daily constitutional. “Is it me, or is some of the grass slightly charred?” asked Joshua.

“Mario…” said Larry, gritting his teeth.

“That’s not good…”
 

Josh Koopa, meanwhile was awake and, with Amie, looking at the strange sight on Pleasant Path. “Well… that’s not something you see every day,” the girl commented. “A Koopa prince, and a guy in a Sherlock Holmes costume snooping around Pleasant Path.”

“Oh no…”

“Friends of yours?”

“Um…” Josh Koopa realized that the girl had no idea he was a clone. He certainly didn’t intend on telling her. Joshua could really ruin what he had going right now. “No. Never seen ‘em before.”
 

Joshua decided that the best thing to do would be to start a door-to-door questioning. Larry liked this idea; he ruled this land, the residents would have to tell him what was what. 3 people in Koopa Village said that they saw a Koopa get beat up by Mario, but an hour later, it had disappeared. Then, they came to Kooper’s house.

“Kooper, we’re conducting a routine check into the disappearance of a Koopa, did you see anything odd yesterday on Pleasant Path?” Joshua questioned.

“Well, I DID see that girl who lives on the farm near the Koopa Bros. old fortress drag some kind of unconscious body back inside it. It looked pretty burnt and beaten.”

“That’s him!!! Not that I really care,” Joshua exclaimed.

“I know that place. It’s where I get most of my milk from,” Larry said.

“Take me there.” The two sprinted towards the farm. Josh Koopa was near, and he was coming home, one way or another…
 

CHAPTER 5: JOSHUA’S WRATH

Lunch was quite a simple, yet tasty, affair on this farm. This Amie made a goooooooooood sandwich. Josh Koopa was quite satisfied, but still hungry. He guessed that that was an after-effect of the beating Mario had put on him. Amie smiled at him as she washed up. The clone blushed and smiled goofily. The girl giggled. Josh Koopa thought to himself, I could DEFINITELY live here for a while… No doubt about it, he was happy. He felt accepted. Maybe that was because she didn’t know the truth…

THUD! THUD! *CRASH!

That can’t be good… the two thought. They were right.

“Ow,” said Larry.

“Quit whining, we’re in, aren’t we? So you’ll have a concussion and a cracked skull. So what? Did you have any other ideas that DIDN’T involve using you as a battering ram?” Joshua countered.

“Nighty-night.” Larry passed out.

“Loser. NOW! Release my clone, or suffer the wrath of Joshua and Larry! … Ok, maybe not Larry, but I could probably kill you with one hand behind my back.”

“Clone?”

“Oh boy, I’m SO busted…”

“You’re a clone?”

“Well…”

“*Gasp!*” Amie fainted, as did Josh Koopa.

“… Great, now I’ve got TWO unconscious bodies to carry home…”
 

CHAPTER 6: FEVER

Soon after returning home to Joshua’s Pad, the two Koopas woke up. “I’ll get you for that, Human. Just for using me as a battering ram, you’ll have to fight Roy, Wario, Culex, Macho Grubba, and Rawk Hawk all at the same time without any items, weapons, or partners.”

“… Mommy. Hey, what’s wrong with him?” Josh Koopa was rolling on the floor, cramping up. Joshua checked his temperature. “He’s burning up. I think he’s got a fever…”
 

On the farm, the story was much the same. Amie was very sick. She vomited twice on her floor, before making it to the bathroom. She decided to take a nap. Maybe the fever would pass…

It didn’t. The Koopa girl was sick. She began to think that… No. That wasn’t possible. That just couldn’t be. He wasn’t even a real Koopa! She thought maybe that that human had done something to her. Amie crawled out of bed and began to walk towards Joshua’s Pad, clutching her stomach. She didn’t know how she knew where it was, but she was drawn in the right direction…
 

Joshua and Larry had their hands full with Josh Koopa. He vomited regularly, but it was getting slightly better. Larry just had no idea. He had tried various herbal medicines and remedies he had concocted from his plants, but to no effect. “We’ll take him to Kamek in the morning. He’s the second best doctor in the Mushroom Kingdom,” Larry said.

“Second best?” Joshua asked.

“We are NOT taking him to 'Dr. Mario'.”

“Ah. Let’s turn in for the night.”

“Yeah.”
 

CHAPTER 7: JOSHUA’S WRATH 2: THIS TIME IT’S PERSONAL!

Amie kept on walking despite cramps in her stomach. DAD, this was ridiculous. It was almost midnight, and she was tired, weak, and hungry. She’d never be able to take on the human and Larry. This was suicide. But she’d come so far, she couldn’t stop. Something was forcing her to go, too. At 1 AM, she reached the house. Her cramps weren’t as bad now. Something was just not right. Scaling the drain pipe outside a window, the young Koopa opened the window with a hairpin. Apparently, the room was a bedroom, but nobody was sleeping in it. Odd. Maybe it was the guest room. She crept along the hallway, towards Josh Koopa’s room. She didn’t know where it was, she was just searching the house for the human. She entered the room and walked over to the slumbering clone. That was when she felt something cold against her shell. She really hoped it wasn’t what she thought it was.

“You again? All right, this time it’s personal! You’ve got five seconds to step away from my chef-clone or you will suffer a magic-related death.”

“Stay away from me, Human, you don’t know what Koopas can do to you.” Bluffing to the max. She hoped she could scare him.

“I have a name. It’s Joshua. And your five seconds are up.” Joshua fired his clone’s wand. It blasted the girl straight out the nearby window. She screamed in pain. The scream woke up Josh Koopa, who also shrieked in pain. “Well… That’s weird… But, on the other hand, I hurt them both at the same time! SWEET!!!”

Larry walked into the room. “I heard a scream.”

“It was that Koopa chick from the farm. She… She… I don’t know WHAT she was trying to do, actually. But, I hurt Josh Koopa too. Which is weird, because I didn’t even touch him.”

“One more reason to go to Kamek tomorrow. I’ll go get what’s-her-name from the garden. Why blast her out the window, anyway?

“I felt like it!”

“…”
 

CHAPTER 8: KAMEK’S DIAGNOSIS

Larry’s castle has always had a handy-dandy warp pipe to his dear ol’ dad’s castle, only it was hidden. That said, Kamek was out, training newly recruited Magikoopas. Larry and Joshua had no choice but to take the injured Koopas to *gulp* Ludwig! “Ok, so Kamek’s not in. We’ve still got the third best doctor. My bro! Ludwig.”

“I’m absolutely terrified.”

“He’s not THAT bad.”

“Name one time one of his inventions didn’t blow up.”

“Uhh…”

“Exactly.”

“Any better ideas?”

“Dr. Mario.”

“NEVAH!”

“Psycho. Ludwig it is.”
 

The tourist and the prince lugged the two Koopas around until they found Ludwig in his room working on some random gizmo. “Ah, Larry. And some dude from Earth I don’t know.”

“What’s wrong with these two?” Larry asked, as the pair put the unconscious bodies on Ludwig’s bed.

“I just made that… Tell me what happened.” Joshua recounted the tale for him.

“Most confusing. You hit the girl, but the male was also hurt, even though you didn’t attack him. I don’t get it.” On the word “male”, Karma entered the room.

“What’s up, poofball? Playing doctor again?”

“Please, Karma, this is most serious. And don’t you ever knock?”

“Yeah! That’s just plain rude!” Joshua added.

“Who asked you, weirdo?”

“You’re one to talk, hybrid.”

“Touché. Wow, they look pretty bad,” she said, indicating the two Koopas on the bed.

“We have no idea what’s wrong with them,” Larry said. He then recounted the tale for the Yoshi-Koopa.

“Well, you may have no idea what’s wrong, but you only have half the story!” Amie and Josh Koopa had woken up. She told her tale to everyone. Joshua scratched his head. Larry bit his lip in thought. Ludwig stroked his chin. Karma clicked her fingers repeatedly. Josh Koopa sat on the bed and stared pointlessly into space. Amie frowned, unsure of what was going on. After what seemed like hours, but was actually about ten minutes, Kamek entered.

“So, there’s a problem with simultaneous injuries, as well as cramps and vomiting. Well, it seems obvious to me.”

“How’d you know about all this?” Larry questioned.

“I can read your minds. Anyway, Karma, I’m surprised that YOU of all people haven’t figured it out yet.”

“Me?” Karma said, surprised.

“And you too, Ludwig.”

“Me?” asked Ludwig.

“You don’t mean… That’s not possible! He’s not even real!” Karma yelled, pointing at Josh Koopa.

“I’m as real as you! I’m basically a hybrid, too, if you think about it!” the clone countered. “I’m half Human, half Koopa!”

“True. That is why it’s possible. Josh Koopa, Amie, you are now… Mets,” Kamek said calmly. Everyone gasped.
 

CHAPTER 9: METS?

“But… But… But…” stuttered Joshua.

“Your brains have made a connection,” Kamek continued.

“I see. The same thing DID happen to me and Karma. Remember?” Ludwig said.

“How could I forget, poofball?” Karma retaliated. “Your dad tried to kill me the first time we met. In both senses of the word 'met'.”

“He said he was sorry!” Larry interrupted.

“IS THIS REALLY THE ISSUE?!” Joshua yelled at the top of his lungs.

“You are Mets. You have no choice in that. Your brains have formed a bond. Your hearts may do so too. You may fall in love with each other, or with others. I don’t know,” Kamek tried to explain further.

“If I may say something...” Josh Koopa spoke. “Um… Hi. I think that I do have feelings for Amie. Maybe it’s because she was so kind to me. She took me in and cared for me when I was hurt,” the clone’s eyes began to water, “and she’s so great and beautiful and… and…”

“And?” Ludwig asked.

“She makes the BEST sandwiches EVER!”

“…” Joshua gave a funny look at his clone. Amie’s eyes had also now begun to water. She stood up from a chair, walked over to the clone, and (I bet you can guess what’s coming next!) kissed him passionately. (Yup, you got it!)

“Aww…” Karma cooed.

“Ick!” Larry said, grossed out.

Kamek smiled in admiration. It all reminded him of his youth, before he started working for the Royal Koopa family (but that’s another story).

Ludwig sat down and began to pen a symphony to mark the occasion.

Joshua realised that things were going to be very different around the house. He just hoped those sandwiches were as good as his clone said they were…

And so, that’s the story of how just any situation can result in love, as told by Iggy Koopa. Why was I the narrator? I felt like it, and Joshua didn’t feel like doing a first-person narrative. So don’t be discouraged. Never give up. Keep searching, and you will find what you’re looking for.
 

EPILOGUES: WHAT DID EVERYONE DO NEXT?

Joshua: Continued life on Plit and on Earth. Found a girlfriend who, by some random coincidence, was also named Amie. Kept to his word, and maimed Susan, then evaded Wart’s hitmen by hiding in his toilet. Learned how to play the guitar, too!

Larry: Continued living in his Grass Land castle, caring for his Piranha Plants, and working on herbal remedies.

Ludwig: Finished that symphony and played it for his minions in Pipe Land to “inspire them”. It didn’t work.

Karma: Continued life as normal and beat up anyone who discriminated against her. Which is to say the Koopalings except Ludwig and a couple of really stupid Sledge Bros. Their fates were too gruesome to tell you about.

Kamek: Created an elixir that would neutralize the effect of a 1-Up Mushroom, but Morton drank it and lost his voice for a week. Everyone at Castle Koopa partied and celebrated Kamek as a hero.

Josh Koopa and Amie Koopa: As you could tell from the ending, they fell in love. Joshua had them cook for him a LOT, but they were happy. In return, he played love songs for them on their dates. He sang with a golden voice. Josh Koopa finally felt accepted, because he had someone who loved him, who accepted and cared about him. He felt happy and finally at peace…

The End

Did you like this submission?
If you would like to send some feedback to the author of this submission, please complete this form.

What's your name? 
This is required.

What's your Email address?
Only enter this if you would like the author to respond.

How do you rate this submission? 
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being best.

Does this submission belong in Little Lemmy's Land? 
Little Lemmy's Land is designed to include the top ten percent of submissions.

Would you like to see more from this author? 

Comments and suggestions:

 
ZY.Freedback.com: Stunning, fast, FREE!
FREE feedback form powered by Freedback.com
Freedback.com

Comments, suggestions, stories, or story ideas? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Fun Fiction.
Go back to my main page.