Four Days ‘til Death

By Blaze Koopa

PART 5:
DAY 4:

When we last left Jack and Craw, the train had crashed. Are they alive, or not? ... What am I saying?! Of course they’re alive!!! If they weren’t I wouldn’t be continuing this FF!!! Anyway, on to the story!

CHAPTER 11: AFTERMATH OF THE WRECK

Jack wakes up.

Jack: Ugh… What happened? Did we die?

Craw: Were you listening?! The author just said we didn’t!

Jack: Oh…

The engineer and Doopliss wake up.

Engineer: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU WALKING BEDSHEET!!!

Doopliss: … Thank you for the cookies, Mommy.

Engineer: …?!

Jack: Let’s go check on the other passengers.

They go out of the locomotive. Jack looks in room 001. A Koopa is sitting against the wall. Jack goes to him.

Jack: You okay?

Koopa: No…

Jack: Oh…

Craw looks in room 002. There’s a Shy Guy lying on the floor.

Craw: Are you okay?

They Shy Guy isn’t moving.

Craw: I guess he’s out cold… Hmm, I wonder what’s behind his mask…

Craw takes the mask off.

Craw: EEEEWWW!!!

Craw slaps the mask back on.

Craw: That was creepy…

The engineer looks in room 003. Heff T. is lying on the floor.

Engineer: Are you okay?

Heff T: Help me! I can’t get up!

Engineer: Big surprise…

Jack looks in room 004. No one is there.

Jack: Hmm…? That’s odd…

Ghost T. appears out of nowhere.

Ghost T: WhoooOoooooOooooooOoooooo aaaAAaaAaaaAaaAaaaareeeeEeeeeEEee yoooooOOOOooooooouuuuuUUUuu?

Jack: EEEP!!!

Craw looks in room 005. A Bumpty with a red-striped hat is sitting against the wall.

Craw: Are you okay?

Bumpty: Do not worry, as I am completely intact.

Craw: …Okay… Hey, you’re a detective, are you not?

Bumpty: … Why yes, I am… Allow me to introduce myself. I am Pennington.

Craw: Great! Maybe you can help me and my traveling partner with a problem…

The engineer looks in the dining car. Chef Shimi and the Toad Waitress are dazed on the floor.

Engineer: Are you two okay?

Chef Shimi: I’m the prettiest girl around!

Waitress: ‘Sup, dog?

Engineer: I’ll take that as a no…

Jack looks in room 006.

Jack: Huh?! No one’s here? What’s up with that?! Oh wait… This is OUR room…

Jack goes to room 007.

Jack: No one’s here either… Oh yeah… This is Boomer’s room.

Jack goes to room 008.

Jack: Another empty room… Oh… Wait… Voshi’s room…

Jack exits the room and sees the conductor lying on the ground.

Jack: Are you okay?

Conductor: … Where am I…? Who are you…?

Jack: *sigh* You’re fine…
 

CHAPTER 12: FIGHT FOR THE PHONE

Everyone (including Ghost T) is outside the train.

Craw: Okay, Jack. I met Pennington here, and I do believe he can help. He actually lives in the Poshley Heights Sanctum.

(Note: I’ve been calling the Sanctum a “Museum” throughout the first four pages of this FF. That’s because I just found out it’s not really a Museum, so just pretend I said “Sanctum” in the first four pages.)

Jack: He does?

Pennington: Yes I do, and I am not happy to hear that someone broke into my home!

Engineer: Okay, everyone. Listen up!

Everyone looks at him.

Engineer: Since the conductor has amnesia, I will be in charge for the time being. Now, does anyone have a cell phone?

Craw: The Boomerang Bro had one… but he’s… vanished… Yeah, that’s it…

Doopliss: That’s okay. I have his phone… Oops…

Engineer: Then won’t you hand it over?

Doopliss: Uh… NO!!!

Engineer: Then we’re not going anywhere until I have that phone!

Doopliss: You can’t have it!!!

Jack: Give him the phone, you idiot!!!

Jack tackles Doopliss and starts beating him up.

Doopliss: AAAAAHHH!!! GET OFF ME, YOU GALLOPING SAUSAGE!!!

Jack: … Galloping sausage?!

Jack and Doopliss start rolling on the ground with their hands locked together (if Doopliss has hands).

Jack: GIVE ME THAT PHONE!!!

Doopliss: NO NO NO!!!

Doopliss kicks Jack off.

Engineer: This is getting interesting…

Doopliss morphs into the form of Jack.

Jack: Ha HA!!! Now I’m gonna give you a taste of your own medicine!

Jack: Bring it!

Jack throws eight hammers at Jack. One bounces off Jack’s helmet. Jack charges at Jack and punches him in the face with his metal fist.

Jack: OW!!! You’ll pay for that!!!

Jack tries to punch Jack, but misses.

Jack: You gotta do better than that!!!

Pennington: Wow… All this for a phone…

Jack throws seven hammers at Jack.

Jack: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!

Jack: How do you like DEM apples?!

Jack: RRRRRR!!! You are gonna get it!!!

Jack and Jack start beating on each other. There’s a cloud of smoke and no one can see them.

Pennington: Craw, you are his partner, yes? Why not help him out?

Craw: … Good point… The thing is I don’t know which one is the real Jack…

Pennington: No fear. I shall deduce the real Jack.

The smoke cloud disappears.

Jack: I WANT THAT PHONE!!!

Craw: No need, Penny. I know which one is the real one is.

Craw tackles Jack.

Jack: OW!!! YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY!!!

Craw: Oh yeah?! Well, who was the first Glitz Pit champion?!

Jack: Prince Mush!!!

Craw: … Oops…

The Other Jack: HAHAHAHA!!! Idiot!

The other Jack morphs back to Doopliss. He pulls out his stun gun.

Doopliss: Get the whole load of THIS!!!

Doopliss stuns Jack and Craw.

Jack and Craw: Didididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididididi!!!

Doopliss: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Now you’ll NEVER get my phone!!! ... That didn’t sound right…

Engineer: There’s one problem with that.

Doopliss: What?

Engineer: You forgot about the rest of us!

Doopliss: … Uh oh…

Engineer: GET HIM!!!

Everyone else (except the conductor, Ghost T, and the engineer) charges at Doopliss and starts beating him up.

Engineer: Aren’t you going to help, Ghost?

Ghost T: I cAn’T pUnCh…BuT I CoUlD pOsSeSs YoU aNd HeLp. BeSiDeS I DoN’t SeE wHy YoU’rE nOt HeLpInG.

Engineer: Don’t even—

Ghost T. possesses the engineer and joins the brawl.

Doopliss: OW!!! STOP IT!!! PAIN!!! LET GO OF MY LEG!!!

Pennington: What leg?!

Doopliss: …

Heff T: SHROOM PILE!!!

Doopliss: NO!!! NOT THAT!!!

Heff T. jumps on Doopliss.

Doopliss: OW!!! MY SPLEEN!!!

Heff T: And I’m NOT getting off until you give up that phone!!!

Doopliss: FINE!!!

Doopliss throws out his phone. It’s crushed. The engineer picks it up.

Engineer: Oh… Perfect… NOW what?!

Craw: HEY!!! I just remembered! I have a phone!!!

Craw takes out his phone. Doopliss tries to get to him but Heff T. is still sitting on him.

Jack: How can you forget about your own phone?

Craw: Who cares? Now I can call Al to fly us all to Poshley Heights!

Jack: Well call ‘im!

Craw tries to dial but the battery is dead.

Craw: *sigh* Great… One problem after another… This is unreal!

Jack: Well, what do we do now, walk to Poshley Heights?!

Engineer: I guess we have no other choice… Well, let’s go… Oh, wait a minute…

Ghost T. comes out of the engineer’s body.

Ghost T: OKaY, I’M rEaDy.

Engineer: Ghost?

Ghost T: YeS?

Engineer: DON’T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!

In the Poshley Heights Sanctum…

Boss: Well, tomorrow’s the big day, Junior… The day when I get my sweet justice!

Junior: Justice?! It looks more like revenge to me!

Boss: …

Bling Bling: Um… I just noticed your gag is missing again… Bomb Bomb?!

Bling Bling goes into the next room. Bomb Bomb is watching a romance on TV. He’s wiping away his tears with Junior’s gag.

Bling Bling: …
 

CHAPTER 13: FOURTH DAY OF EXCESS?

The engineer, conductor (who still has amnesia), Chef Shimi, the waitress, and the passengers are walking along the train tracks.

Engineer: Come on. Poshley Heights isn’t too far away…

Conductor: Actually it’s fifty miles away.

Passengers: UGH!!!

Engineer: HEY!!! YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM THAT!!!...And besides, you’re supposed to have amnesia.

Conductor: Oh yeah… FALL IS JUST SOMETHING THE GROWNUPS INVENTED!!!

Engineer: …

Shy Guy: Fifty miles?!...AND WE HAVE TO WALK THE WHOLE THING?!

Engineer: Uh… Well I don’t see any other ways… so… yes…

Conductor: GO SPEED RACER!!! GO SPEED RACER!!! GO SPEED RACER, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Jack: Wait… Craw, are you sure your cell phone is dead?

Craw: Well, I couldn’t dial, so it obviously is…

Conductor: I WANNA SEE YOU WALK THE BUCKET!!!

Everyone Else: … Walk the bucket?!

Jack: Let me fix that.

Jack throws a hammer at the conductor.

Conductor: Ugh… What happened? Did I miss anything?

Jack: That takes care of that… Anyway, check that phone again.

Craw: Okay…

Craw tries to dial again. It still doesn’t work.

Craw: See? It’s dead.

Jack: Lemme see it!

Craw: Jack, I just proved to you that—

Jack: Don’t start a repeat of what happened just earlier!

Craw: *sigh* Fine, but this is pointless.

Craw gives Jack the phone.

Jack: Hmm…

Jack notices something.

Jack: I just noticed something!

Craw: Is there an echo in here? Anyway, what’s the problem?

Jack: You turned your phone off.

Craw: … Ooh!

Jack turns the phone on.

Craw: Great! Now I can call my old friend!

Craw dials the number.

Craw: (talking on phone) Hey. Yeah, we need your help again. Yeah, we’re somewhere east of Riverside. Okay, we’ll be waiting.

Craw hangs up.

Pennington: So who is your friend? No, wait! Do not tell me! I shall deduce his Identity.

Craw: Don’t worry. You have a few hours to do so.

Four hours later…

Pennington: His name is Prince Mush and he’s a Mushroomer.

Craw: C’mon! It’s mid-morning and you STILL haven’t guessed right! Besides, I don’t even KNOW Prince Mush!

Pennington: I’m not guessing! I’m deducing! Now let me think! Hmm… Ah! I have it now! His name is Speed and he’s a racer!

Craw: You only took that from what the conductor was saying when he had amnesia!

Conductor: I never said that!

Craw: Um… Hello? You obviously can remember! After all, it was AMNESIA!

Pennington: I have it for sure this time! His name is Crash and he’s a Bandicoot!

Craw: …

A huge Albatoss flies in.

Craw: No. His name is Al and he’s an Albatoss.

Pennington: I told you not to tell me!

Craw: *sigh*

Al lands next to them.

Everyone but Craw and Jack: Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.

Al: You called me?

Craw: Yeah. Poshley Heights? It’s only fifty miles away.

Al: Hop on!

Engineer: Oh great! Now we have to ride on some giant bird! Everything about this is weird!

Al jumps in front of the engineer and spreads his wings.

Al: YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!

Engineer: … Eep!

Craw: Hey! Al’s sensitive to those kinds of comments!

Engineer: Uh… Hehe… I guess you do have a… pretty good-sized wingspan…

Al: Oh… Thank you.

Jack: Hey! Are we going to Poshley Heights or not?! It’s been four days, you know, and Junior could be—

Craw: Ooh! You’re right! Okay, everyone! Get on his back! On the double!

Everyone but Craw and Ghost T. climbs on Al’s back.

Craw: Aren’t you getting on too?

Ghost T: No. I’lL JuSt FlY aLoNgSiDe. I’M a GhOsT aFtEr AlL.

Craw: True…

Craw climbs on Al’s beak. (Al’s back is taken up by everyone else besides Ghost T.).

Jack: Let’s go!

Al runs and tries to get off the ground, but can’t immediately.

Craw: What’s wrong?

Al: The big fat guy is making you all a bit heavy.

Heff T: FAT?! I’ll have you know that I’m wearing the same underwear I wore twelve years ago!

Everyone Else: …

Heff T: … Uh… Did I say that out loud?

Well, it’s the fourth day. Will Jack and Craw make at in time? Will they be too late? Will Speed Racer air again? (Seriously, I miss that show!) We’ll see in PART 6! ... Um… Except for the Speed Racer part…

Read on!


 
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