Once upon a time, not too long ago, Bowser died. Larry Koopa and Kamek decided to get revenge on Smithy for doing so. P.T. Piranha, Petey Piranha, and Axem Purple joined them on their quest. But it turned out that the way they killed Smithy caused Plit to get plunged into Twilight. Teaming up with King Boo, they tried to stop it, but failed. So they then saved Plit, but Zant threatened the worlds after being accidentally revived. Larry and Co. went to Rayman’s world to save it, but P.T. and Kamek were taken away. Torpedo Ted helped the two escape, but Kamek was soon lost. P.T. and Torpedo Ted caught up to the heroes, but the world was destroyed. After teaming up with Shade the Shy Guy and Luvbi, they all came back to life and went through the final trials in Bowser’s Castle. Kamek had killed Zant and was the real villain in the end. After much toil, Larry and his friends prevailed. They all went their own ways afterwards. Axem Purple and Shade left to go on an adventure of their own. And that’s how this adventure begins! Boy, that was a mouthful.
Prologue: The Subspace Emissary
Shade is reading the latest issue of Nintendo Power, on a bench outside a store in Mushroom City. Axem Purple walks out of the store.
Purple: Boy, shopping like in RPG’s is boring. What do you say, we just eat at McYold’s?
Shade: … So that’s what that thing looks like.
Purple takes the Nintendo Power and slices it with his axe.
Shade: Not cool!
Purple: Now can we go to McYold’s?
Shade: Yeah, sure, whatever.
At McYold’s, the two order their food and are sitting at a table, waiting.
Shade: This isn’t a real great adventure so far.
Purple: Well we only just defeated Kamek last week! We have to give it some time.
A person behind them talks to them.
Person: You guys are going on an adventure? Take me with you! The guy who writes the stories I’m in drives me nuts!
Purple: Who are you?
He turns around to reveal… Yux! From Shady Parakoopa’s stories!
Shade: That guy that no one likes?
Yux: Shut up! Shady sent Shadow Mario to find me, and I can’t let him, so take me with you!
Purple: Do you know anywhere to go?
Yux: Uhhhhhhhhhh, no.
A loud noise is heard. Everyone goes outside. A big bomb is being messed with by two Robotic Operating Buddies.
Purple: What’s that?
Shade: I’ve heard it murmured a few times in the Underwhere. It’s a Subspace Bomb! This kind of thing will happen again in Super Smash Bros. Brawl!
Yux: Don’t remind me. During a deleted scene in Shadow Paper Mario: Rod of the Seven Stars, Bowser Jr. wouldn’t shut up about Super Smash Bros. Brawl! Kept going on about losing in Melee to some guys, too.
Purple: Then who’s that green guy?
Green Guy: I am the Ancient Minister! You are all doomed!
Purple: Okay, “Yux”. If you want to prove yourself, beat up that guy!
Yux: … I hate you both.
He floats up to the Minister and breathes fire on him, but is knocked out by a cannonball.
Yux: I’m okay.
Minister: Shut up.
Yux: …
Purple and Shade (and others) look over to find Petey Piranha.
Purple: Petey? What are you doing? Weren’t you gonna go hang with King Boo?
Petey: *roar*
Shade: Something’s wrong with him.
Bunches of Primids materialize at that point.
Shade: Ack! Kill them! Kill them!
Shade uses Kung-Fu to defeat some Primids, and Purple uses his axe.
Purple: That Y-shaped Yux really can’t take a hit, can he?
Yux: I’m awake! And I heard that!
Minister: Come, plant thing! This portion of the world’s doomed!
The Minister, Petey, some ROBs, and some Primids all leave.
Purple: D’oh!
They continue fighting the minions, while the civilians are in panic.
Yux: Uh oh! Shady Parakoopa FF Powers Coming On! … RANDOMIZE!
He glows, then stops.
Yux: The good news is, the Primids are gone!
The Primids vanish.
Yux: The bad news is…
The bomb ticks down faster.
Shade: What? WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Yux: Oh, you know this hat on my head? This Lakitu guy died, and his hat ended up on my head. Now every one chapter, I have to do the Randomizer, which causes one good thing to happen, then one bad. The bad thing usually makes the good thing not matter, though.
Purple: Dang it!
Bomb: Explosion in 5, 4…
Shade: We’re going to die.
Yux: I have a force field ability!
Shade: (sarcastically) Real original.
Yux: That’s what they say about my fire breath attack.
Yux shields the three of them, and the bomb explodes. The whole town is drawn into Subspace, as is everyone in it except Purple, Shade, and Yux! But since force fields aren’t perfect (apparently), they’re knocked back into a nearby mountain with eyes.
Yux: That was weird.
Shade: We’ve got to see if everyone’s okay!
A few minutes later, the trio make it back to the town… only to find a big white area in Mushroom City’s place.
All 3: 0_0
Shade: This is just like when that Void destroyed that one place!
Yux floats up to a statue half-buried in the ground. It’s holding a stone platter with stone food on it. Shade walks up to it.
Shade: Dang it! That’s the waiter with our food!
Purple: That, and only a few unidentifiable statues are all that’s left of Mushroom City.
Yux: Relax! It’s in Subspace! They’re all alive… I think.
Shade: I can see the Halberd! We can still catch up!
Voice: You idiots don’t even know what’s going on, do you?
The trio turn around to find Prof. Frankly.
All 3: Professor Frankly?
Frankly: Yes, it’s me. You guys don’t know what’s happening, do you?
Purple: Shedding some light would be nice.
Frankly: Ugh… The Subspace Army is attempting to destroy Plit region by region!
Purple: Why?
Frankly: That, I don’t know. But ever since the worlds that Kamek destroyed came back, that Subspace Army has been angling to get rid of them.
Purple: And that’s our problem because…
Frankly: You guys wanted an adventure, so here’s your chance!
Purple: … Of course it is. What do we do?
Frankly: Stop that ship from destroying anything else! Follow it, fools!
Purple: Aw, man! This is not what I had in mind!
Frankly: Just go!
Shade: But how do you know all this?
Frankly: Silence, nonbeliever! Just go!
Shade: What if we don’t want to have an adventure anymo-
Frankly: Huh? Pass the peas like we used to?
Shade: … What?
Frankly: LEAVE!
Meanwhile, inside the Halberd…
Ancient Minister: Hmm. The scanners indicate there’s still some life in the Mushroom City area. Send you-know-who!
Primid: But what if he’s not part of the army in Brawl?
Ancient Minister: He is, we just won’t let it be known during the game. Now send Agent L!
A pod is then
launched from the Halberd and is homed in on the remains of Mushroom City.
Will Purple and Shade ever get their food? Are the people of Mushroom City
safe? Why is the Subspace Army trying to get rid of Plit? Who is Agent
L? How does Frankly know all? Will Yux like this adventure more than his
last two? Tune in!
Chapter 1: Isle Delfino
Purple, Shade, and Yux have been forced by a crazy Goomba into saving Plit from the Subspace Army. Mushroom City has already been drawn into Subspace. Will our heroes manage to save Plit? We’ll see.
Yux: So… where is that thing going?
Shade: I don’t know, but since those guys seem awfully dark, perhaps some light would help? Like the Shine Sprites?
Purple: I guess we know where to go. But how do we get there?
Shade: … The same way Larry and Kamek did!
Yux: I can float.
Shade: But can you carry our weight?
Yux: … No.
Later, the trio are walking through the kingdom when they hear a voice.
Voice: -And that’s how babies are born!
Other Voice: Then what was the stork for?
Voice: Go ask your mom.
Purple looks over the hedge.
Purple: P.T.?
P.T.: Huh? Oh, hi person!
Purple: … It’s only been a week, and you forgot my name?
P.T.: Relax, I know your name. Periwinkle, right?
Purple: Wrong.
P.T.: Burnt Sienna!
Purple: … IT’S PURPLE, YOU MORON!
P.T.: What is?
Yux: … Please tell me he won’t join the party.
Later…
Yux: I can’t believe he joined the party.
Shade: His sister has a boat, which is our only means. Plus, he’s powerful, so we may need him. At least as a distraction for our enemies.
Yux: I see.
Meanwhile, P.T. is driving the boat while playing Mario and Luigi 2, at the part where they fight Kamek.
Purple: Stop playing with that thing and focus on driving this Cruiser!
P.T.: Why?
Purple: … Did you not pay attention?
P.T.: That is a strong possibility.
Purple grabs P.T.’s DS and throws it into the water, right next to where the last one landed.
P.T.: Dang it! Now Kamek killed Baby Luigi!
They finally make it to the island. They get off at the dock on the airstrip and take a boat to the Plaza. Meanwhile, back in The Dead City, the pod lands and opens. Out comes none other than Mr. L!
Mr. L: Hmm. My Green Senses are tingling. They’re not here! This little tracker thing indicates… they’re on Isle Delfino?!
He pulls out a walkie-talkie.
Mr. L: Boss, they’re gone. They’re on Isle Delfino!
Ancient Minister (on the other end): Isle Delfino?! I guess that’s our next stop. You go ahead, and we’ll catch up.
Mr. L: Right. L-ater, Minister!
He turns it off and puts it away.
Mr. L: Come to me, Metal Brother!
Nothing happens.
Mr. L: … Brobot? Oh yeah! He’s at the cleaners! I guess I’ll use… BROBORG!
Broborg, which looks exactly like Brobot, appears. Mr. L hops into the cockpit.
Mr. L: Time to get those L-osers good!
Meanwhile…
Purple: Um, where’s the mayor?
Pianta: Uhhhhh, I dunno.
Yux: (sarcastically) You’re a smart one, aren’t you?
Pianta: Yes I am! My mommy said so!
Yux burns him to death.
Purple: Dude! You’ll get arrested for that!
Yux: Honestly, do you think I’m really going to be successful enough in life to make little things like that matter?
Purple: … Good point.
Shade: So do you think the mayor will just let us take the Shines?
Yux: Why not just schedule an audience with him?
P.T.: That’s dumb! Why not just sit down and talk to him?
Yux: … That’s what I meant.
P.T.: Silence, nonbeliever!
Yux: No, it’s “Shut up, Yux.”
P.T.: Shut up, Yux.
Yux: …
After using the Jedi Mind Trick on the receptionist, the quartet manage to get into the mayor’s office.
Mayor: So what do you want?
Purple: Have you heard that Mushroom City was recently destroyed?
Mayor: No.
Shade pulls out a newspaper and shows him the article.
Shade: See?
Mayor: “Mushroom City is destroyed. Eyewitnesses describe that the only person left is a strange Luigi look-alike who did not want to be bothered.”
Purple: What?
He takes a look himself.
Purple: Oh my DAD, it’s Mr. L!
Yux: You mean Luigi?
Everyone: Shut up, Yux.
Yux: Everyone? Who names their kid that?
Everyone: … You win this round.
Everyone, the brown Pianta, leaves.
Mayor: So a town was destroyed. What does that have to do with anything?
Purple: They’re going to do that to all of Plit, and since their minions appear to be made of darkness, I figured why not use light? As in 120 Shine Sprites?
Mayor: Hmm. I won’t allow it!
We now see a tiny robot on Yux’s hat. It’s spying! Back on the Halberd…
Ancient Minister: So that’s their goal! Mr. L, come in! Your objective is now to destroy the Shine Gate and scatter the Shine Sprites. Repeat! Destroy the Shine Gate!
Mr. L (on the other end): Uh, okay.
Primid: Sir, the guy in the trench coat just threw the Spyder out the window, so we don’t know what they’re up to now.
Ancient Minister: We know all we need to, Primid #2347.
Back on Isle Delfino…
Purple: Please! You don’t want your island or any other part of Plit to end up like that city, do you?
Mayor: You’re bluffing!
BOOM!
Shade: Is that another bomb?
P.T.: Nah, it sounded more like a fat guy.
Everyone goes outside to find a flying Luigi head shooting lasers at the Shine Gate. There’s a hole in it, but towards the bottom.
Mr. L: That gate sure is tough.
Yux: Don’t worry, I’ve got it.
He floats up to Broborg and breathes fire, causing part of it to melt, making a hole.
Mr. L: Dang it! You die now!
Mr. L jumps on Yux and lands… on his face. Yux takes it he’s dead, and returns to the others.
Mr. L: I’m okay.
Ancient Minister (on the walkie-talkie): You fool! Why didn’t you just stay focused?!
Mr. L: I was about to be torched!
Ancient Minister: … Anyway, we’re almost here.
Mr. L: But the sky isn’t-
The sky turns red.
Mr. L: …red…
The Halberd appears.
Purple: Oh no! They’re here!
A bomb drops, destroying the Pianta statue. The Piantas are in panic. Two R.O.B.s mess with it and the countdown starts.
Purple: Now may we?
Mayor: Uh-huh…
The mayor faints. P.T. and Yux pick through his pockets.
Shade: Guys! We don’t have time for this!
Yux: Shut up! Hey! I finally get to say it!
P.T.: Besides! He stole my model of Dimentio made of toothpicks from me! I spent my whole life on it! See?
He holds it out, and the Ancient Minister appears. He shoots a laser that destroys the model.
P.T.: … Well now my life is wasted… WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOUNG?!
Ancient Minister: So you thought you could stop us? Ha! Fat chance!
Purple: Why exactly are you doing this?
Ancient Minister: Silence!
P.T.: Hey! It’s Petey! Why is he destroying the Shine Gate?
Ancient Minister: Your pitiful plant works for me now!
Petey is shooting cannonballs at the gate.
Ancient Minister: Now if you excuse me, I’ve got a world to… er… draw… into Subspace!
Yux: (sarcastically) Wow. You’re SO clever.
Ancient Minister: Thank you.
He floats back up to the Halberd. The party run towards the Subspace Bomb, but Mr. L jumps and lands hard on Purple’s head, knocking him over. He drops his axe and it slides along the ground into the water.
P.T.: Ha ha!
Yux: Don’t laugh at your fellow party member!
Mr. L: I can’t let you deactivate that bomb, now can I? Didn’t think so. Now the Green Thunder will give you L-osers a burial at sea! Have at you!
Shade: I have an idea! I’ll stop Petey, while you three take on Luigi.
P.T. and Yux: D’oh!
Shade runs towards the gate, miraculously slides under Mr. L, and lands in the canal. He grabs the axe at the bottom, and throws it to Purple. He then swims to the gate.
Mr. L: Die!
Yux tries to breathe fire on Mr. L, but he jumps over him. Purple hacks at Mr. L, but by spinning and posing, he dodges it all. Yux turns to breathe fire on him, but Mr. L ducks and Purple is engulfed in the flames.
Yux: Oh well.
Mr. L gets down on his hands and kicks both opponents in opposite directions, but P.T. slides into him, using the Mirror Shield as a sled, to knock Mr. L into the air.
P.T.: Hot Potato!
He throws a flaming potato at Mr. L.
Mr. L: Ow!
While he’s distracted with that, Yux, spinning like a ninja star, hits Mr. L.
Mr. L: Ow! Again!
Then Purple appears and attacks Mr. L with his axe.
Mr. L: Ow! A third time!
Mr. L lands and Super Jumps. Petey spits a cannonball to Mr. L, and he catches it and throws it down to the three. Purple jumps up to slash it, and it works… yet his axe’s blade breaks.
Purple: Dang it! That’s my only axe!
Mr. L: Aww, did mean Mr. L’s ball break the little baby’s axe?
Purple: Shut up, Yux!
Yux: I didn’t even say anything!
Purple: Force of habit.
Meanwhile, Shade is in front of the Shine Gate.
Shade: Hey! Petey! What are you doing with the Minister?
Petey isn’t paying attention.
Shade: Well, I guess that’s it for trying to reconvert him. HEY! YOU STUPID PLANT! YOUR PETALS CLASH WITH THE REST OF YOU! … Oh wait, mocking fashion sense only works on girls and King Croacus IV. HEY! I BET I COULD SPIT CANNONBALLS BETTER THAN THAT!
Petey gets mad and stops flapping his leaves. Shade gets out of the way, and Petey lands so hard that he lands in the sewers. He was trying to crush Shade, if you didn’t get it. Shade wall jumps up to the top of the Shine Gate and pockets a few of the Shine Sprites. Meanwhile, Purple and P.T. are throwing Mini-Yuxes that Yux produces at Mr. L, but Mr. L just keeps jumping over them and getting closer, until he jump-kicks Yux, sending him flying through the Blue Coin Hut, leaving a Y with a Magikoopa hat-shaped hole.
Mr. L: You guys are pathetic!
Purple throws what’s left of his axe at him.
Mr. L: Ow! You’re still pathetic! And with that, I’ll be leaving!
Mr. L Super Jumps up to Broborg, which is somehow waiting for him. Meanwhile, Shade keeps pocketing Shines while avoiding goop and cannonballs. He’s collected… 10. Petey suddenly stops, and flies away.
Pianta: Bad bomb about to explode! Blue Shy Guy and friends come; bomb soon comes! You bad people!
Shade: Oh come on. You people really aren’t primitive enough to believe that, are you?
Pianta: I just wanted one of us to have some more lines.
Shade: Wait… THE BOMB’S ABOUT TO GO OFF?!
Shade quickly gets one more Shine, and runs over to the other side of the canal.
Shade: Guys, the bomb’s gonna go off!
Yux is seen riding on a whale, and gets off next to the lighthouse.
Yux: Thanks, Mr. Whaleson.
Mr. Whaleson: Shut up, Yux.
He dives back down.
Yux: …
Yux floats over to the others.
P.T.: Yux, the bomb’s going to go off! Do the Crazifier!
Yux: Randomizer.
P.T.: What’s the difference?
Purple: If only we could stop the bomb!
P.T.: If only all my LOZ weapons weren’t at the cleaners.
Shade: How’d you get the Mirror Shield?
P.T.: Magic.
Shade: Wha?
Yux: So this bomb is about to blow up, drawing all of us into Subspace. So RANDOMIZE!
Yux glows and stops. They and a fourth of the citizens of the island are now on Pinna Beach, near the cannon.
Yux: The good news is we’re safe!
P.T.: Where’d Shade go?
Yux: Yeah, the bad news is that the rest of the people are still on the island.
Purple: What?!
The bomb goes off, and Isle Delfino is then brought to Subspace. It’s so powerful, Pinna Island is actually moved towards it a little, and the Ferris wheel and the roller coaster seat break off and fly into the explosion, causing them to get pulled into Subspace, too. Parts of the airstrip including trees, that one house, and some lighter Piantas are also pulled in.
Everyone on the Beach: 0.0
Yux: We should go check the damage.
One quick ferry ride later, the trio and some Piantas are exploring the Dead Island. The landscape is all flat and white, with some statues.
Purple: Let’s check to see if Shade survived.
Yux: Um, he’s not here anymore!
P.T.: Shut up, Yux. You’re obviously wrong, because that statue looks very familiar.
Purple looks and sees a statue of Shade lying on the ground.
Purple: Shade!
P.T.: Huh? Hey, it’s Shade!
Yux: If that’s not what you recognized, then what did you recognize?
P.T.: That statue that looks like the mayor.
Yux: … Wait, didn’t Shade have Shine Sprites in his pocket somehow?
Purple: If so then… Dang it! We did all this for nothing!
Yux: What do we do now? It’s like they somehow knew we were here!
Purple: Hmm. Mr. L was with the Subspace Army, so that means he was already after us. And Mr. L was apparently sent back to Mushroom City’s remains because not everyone was gone, because why else was he there? So he must’ve went there, and followed us here!
Yux: If that’s the case then… EVERYONE! WE’VE GOT TO GET AWAY FROM THIS ISLAND! WE WERE HANGING AROUND IN THE RUINS OF MUSHROOM CITY, AND THAT SOMEHOW LED TO THE BAD GUYS GETTING HERE!
Other people: Shut up, Yux!
P.T.: EVERYONE! WE’VE GOT TO GET AWAY FROM THIS ISLAND! THESE DUDES WERE HANGING AROUND IN THE RUINS OF MUSHROOM CITY, AND THAT SOMEHOW LED TO THE BAD GUYS GETTING HERE!
Other People: Okay.
Yux: …
One ferry ride back to Pinna Island later…
Purple: Those guys are good, so what do we do? We’re losing Plit!
Yux: We could evacuate the planet. I heard Blobule is nice this time of year.
Purple: No, I have a better idea. We hitch a ride onto the Halberd, and destroy their supply of Subspace Bombs!
Yux: Slight problem. A, we don’t know where Halberd is. B, your axe is broken. And C, those guys mopped the floor with us! The only reason they didn’t kill us was to leave us alone with the bomb!
P.T.: He’s right.
Yux: FINALLY! *sniff*
Purple: Hmm… I know what to do!
Meanwhile, the Ancient Minister is talking to Mr. L and Petey.
Ancient Minister: Well, the Commander of the Subspace Unit said we have one of those four in Subspace. This pleases me.
Mr. L: Um, that’s nice…
Ancient Minister: But my computer is telling me that not everyone on the island was captured. Care to explain why?!
Mr. L: Well, I don’t know…
Mr. L remembers Yux’s hat.
Mr. L: That Yux… He had a magikoopa hat! And not just a Magikoopa hat, but the one that randomizes! He must’ve used that to teleport a fraction of the citizens to safety!
Ancient Minister: Hmm. And as a Yux, he has force field capabilities. So that must be how they survived the first bomb! Primid #54876677636483! Send Agent Dark after them!
Primid #54876677636483: Okay.
He presses a button,
and another pod launches from the Halberd. Is Shade alive? Where will the
Subspace Army strike next? Will Mushroom City and Isle Delfino return to
normal? What will the Delfino citizens that remain do now? What is Purple’s
idea? Will I finally be able to make this story as funny as it should be?
Who is Agent Dark? We’ll see!
Chapter 2: Curing Shade
Teaming up with P.T. Piranha, Purple and Co. went to Isle Delfino to get the Shine Sprites. However the Subspace Army followed them and Purple, Yux, and P.T. dealt with the wrath of Mr. L. Shade was caught in the explosion, and is now but a statue. Purple has decided to take the offensive, now without his Shy Guy companion.
The Daisy Cruiser is seen on the ocean. Unfortunately, P.T.’s driving again.
P.T.: 2,897,389,574,875,398 BOTTLES OF POISON MUSHROOM SHROOM SHAKES ON THE WALL! 2,897,389,574,875,398 BOTTLES OF POISON MUSHROOM SHROOM SHAKES! TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 2,897,389,574,875,397 BOTTLES OF POISON MUSHROOM SHROOM SHAKES ON THE WALL! 2,897,389,5-
Meanwhile in the Dining Room…
Yux: Explain to me this idea, again.
Purple: Ugh. We’re going to go to see Prof. E. Gadd to see if he knows anything about the Subspace Army! And to see if he can get me a new axe, too. Oh, and if he can fix Shade.
Yux: Ooookay. At least the ship didn’t get pulled into Subspace. Then we’d have no way back to the mainland.
Meanwhile, the pod lands in the ocean, on the sea floor. It opens, and a black blob comes out. It climbs the wall, and jumps off to a Blooper and overwhelms its body. The Blooper’s tentacles grow longer, and the ends grow spikes. The blooper is now black, with red eyes, too. Later…
E. Gadd: Who are you?
Purple: I’m Axem Purple, this is Yux, and this is P.T. We need three favors.
E. Gadd: Oh?
Purple: First, I need a new axe. Mine broke, and I thought you’d be able to-
E. Gadd: What do I look like, the Invention Fairy?! Every week some ingrate storms in and demands a new toy to play with, and when it breaks, they just come right back! And you think I’m going to go out of my way, just to give you a stupid axe?! … Sure, why not?
Purple: … Okay, also we need you to fix our friend.
He pulls out “Shade”.
Gadd: Hmm? What is this?
Yux: It’s a Shy Guy we found after Isle Delfino was pulled into Subspace.
Gadd: Hmm. If you’re sucked into Subspace, you’re just sent there. But if you’re a statue afterwards, you’re basically dead.
Yux: Well, we tried! Anyone up for evacuating, say I!
P.T. and Yux: I!
Purple: Nay! … Please, can’t you do anything?
P.T.: I know!
The music from the Yoshi’s Island (Super Mario World) stage in Super Smash Bros. Melee starts playing as P.T. goes outside, gets on a rowboat, swims to Dinosaur Land, and goes through the level known as Yoshi’s Island-2. He then hits the first red Koopa into its shell, and then throws it at the rest, earning a 1-Up, meaning a 1-Up Mushroom appears. P.T. grabs the Mushroom, leaves the level, and rows back to the mainland. He goes to Toad Town and enters the local Braums. He orders two chocolate milkshakes, and drinks one. He takes the other, and enters a random person’s house. He kicks the person out of the way and puts the Mushroom and milkshake into a blender, and turns it on. The song stops, and P.T. pulls out a Nintendo DS. How he got another, I do not know.
P.T.: Ha! Take that, Shrooboid Brat! … Dang it, I died! Oh well.
The music then restarts. He turns the DS off and stops the blender. He pours the result into a cup, and walks back to E. Gadd’s lab. And the music stops.
P.T.: I’m back!
Yux: That was fast. Where were you?
P.T.: Shut up, Yux.
Yux: …
Purple: What is that?
P.T.: 1-Up Mushroom Shroom Shake!
He pours it on the petrified Shade. Nothing happens. Meanwhile, the mutated Blooper is now on shore, dragging itself using its tentacles. A Toad is tanning on the beach and sees the Dark Blooper.
Toad: Wow! That’s some odd Blooper!
The Dark Blooper wraps its tentacles around the Toad and turns into black goo that goes into the Toad. The Toad grows. It has the body of the Hulk and has a head like a Zombie Mushroom.
Dark Toad: HAHAHA! NOW I HAVE TWO FORMS TO RELY ON! NOW WHERE ARE THOSE FOOLS?
Meanwhile…
Gadd: Looks like all your effort was wasted. On the plus side, during the montage of P.T. getting the shake ready, I fixed up this new Axe 2.0! It can now extend when needed, and the blade is 40 percent stronger!
Purple faints due to his new axe’s awesomeness.
Yux: Guys, I hear panic.
Yux, P.T., and Gadd go outside and head to Toad Town. They find the possessed Toad destroying everything!
Dark Toad: OH, SO YOU FINALLY SHOW UP?
Yux: Yeah! (whispering to P.T.) Who is he?
P.T.: I dunno.
Dark Toad: YOU SHALL-
The Dark Toad gets run over by the Mega Koopa Shell.
Yux: Ha ha!
Purple walks up to them with his new axe.
Purple: Guys, what’s going on?
Gadd: Nothing, now.
Purple: Oh, we forgot the third thing! Do you know how we can track the Halberd?
Gadd: You mean with this tracking device?
He pulls one out.
Yux: Care to explain how you got that?
Gadd: I made it when I heard Mushroom City was destroyed. I’d give it to Luigi, since Mario’s sick, but he’s missing.
P.T.: Oh no, he’s Mr. L again.
Gadd: Whubba?
“Heroes”: …
Gadd: Anyway, I’ll keep trying to revive your friend. Meanwhile, you three stop that Super Space Armada!
Yux: Subspace Army.
Gadd: Shut up, Yux.
Purple: This tracker says that it’s… in Gusty Gulch.
One trip through the pipes later, they find themselves outside Boo’s Mansion. They then go to Gusty Gulch. The Halberd is approaching.
Purple: Okay, I have an idea. If we hide, the Subspace Army will just leave. Then we can stop this undistracted!
Yux: Hey, Voo! The purple guy will pay you five bucks to make us invisible.
Purple: Hey!
Boo: Duh, okay!
He makes them invisible, as the Halberd drops the bomb. After the R.O.B.’s activate it, the whole Subspace Army leaves. The Boo makes them visible, and Purple pays him the money. They approach the bomb, and Purple starts hacking at it, but it doesn’t work.
Purple: Dang it! P.T.! Do something!
P.T.: Right. Please don’t explode.
Nothing happens.
Purple: (sarcastically) Yeah, that’ll help! I have an idea! Everyone! I’ll pay you all 15 dollars to make this bomb intangible!
Boos: Duuuuuuh, okay!
They do, and it goes off. Since it’s intangible, nothing changes.
Purple: Finally! We won one!
Yux: Randomize!
He glows, then stops.
P.T.: What was that for?
Yux: I have to do it once a chapter. The good news is we’ll get a new party member soon! The bad news is…
The Mega Shell slides by, and the Dark Toad gets off.
Dark Toad: NOW YOU GET YOURS!
The beast reaches into the ground and pulls his arms up, picking up a large chunk of the land, and the party members and some loose things slide down towards the monster. Then, tentacles from the Blooper form grow out from beneath the arms and start spinning so fast they’re blade-like. So anything that gets close enough will be sliced.
Boos: Good thing we can float.
Purple manages to throw his axe at the Dark Toad.
Dark Toad: GAAAH!
In pain, he covers his face and drops the land. P.T. uses the grappling hook to wrap up the enemy, and then swings it around.
P.T.: ‘Round, and ‘round, and ‘round she goes!
He stops, and the foe goes flying.
Yux: See ya around!
Meanwhile…
Primid: Sir? The radar must be bugged. The bomb went off, the fools nowhere in sight, but the Gulch is still there.
Ancient Minister: Eh, I don’t care.
Primid: …
Our heroes did
it! They managed to save Gusty Gulch! But will their newfound success continue?
Will E. Gadd save Shade? Will Agent Dark return? Who is the upcoming party
member? Will the Ancient Minister realize that Gusty Gulch still stands?
Tune in!
Chapter 3: The Big City
Purple, Yux, and P.T. are walking around the Mushroom Kingdom.
Purple: This tracker’s out of batteries. We’ll have to buy another.
Yux: Or we could steal!
Purple: Oh relax! Haven’t you ever played a Mario game? There are coins everywhere!
Purple hits a ? Block, but the only thing that comes out is a Blue Shell, which somehow gets onto Purple. Yux hits a brick block, but it just breaks. P.T. stomps on a Goomba, but all he gets is 100 points.
Purple: Okay, maybe not everywhere.
A red Bandit hops out of a bush and rams into Purple. He’s knocked into his shell and slides away.
Bandit: Dang it! No money!
Yux: Yeah, we’re just as broke as you.
Bandit: Well that was pointless.
He takes off his red suit, revealing a blue one beneath.
Bandit: I guess I’ll go back to bed.
Purple’s shell slides back, knocking the Bandit onto his back and making coins spill everywhere.
Yux: Coins! Take!
Yux and P.T. take all the coins, and then turn their attention to the Bandit.
Yux: You jerk! You lied to us! Give us one reason why I shouldn’t burn you!
Bandit: Uh, I’ll join your quest?
P.T.: Works for us!
The shell slides by, but P.T. places his foot on it to stop it. Purple comes out.
Purple: What happened?
Yux: This Bandit joined us.
P.T.: Shut up, Yux! This Bandit joined us!
Yux: … Why do I even get out of bed in the morning? So do you have a name?
P.T.: You know my name.
Yux: Not you! … And no, I don’t know your name.
Bandit: I’m Fin!
Purple, Yux, and P.T.: …
Fin: What?
Purple: Uhh, okay. Now let’s go buy some batteries.
Soon, the four of them are in Koopa’s Tycoon Town.
Yux: Why are we here?
Purple: Ever since Mushroom City was destroyed, this is the next best town to buy things. Even though Toad Town is the capital of the MK, the stores in bigger cities are better.
They try to cross the street, but DK (in a golden car driven by a Koopa) drives by, almost taking Purple’s foot with him.
Purple: Watch where you’re going!
They cross the street and look for a store.
Fin: The electronics store looks like a good place to start!
They all go in, except Fin.
Fin: Yeah, I think I’ll just stay outside. The proprietor and I don’t get along.
Yux: Of course not.
Fin: Shut up, Yux!
Yux: …
Inside…
Cashier: Um, no power-ups are allowed inside the store! Nor hats! And you, trench coat guy! Would it kill you to wipe your feet?!
Purple: Listen, all we need is a few batteries.
Cashier: Then make yourselves decent and come back in.
Purple: But we need the batteries so we can use this tracking device to track the Subspace Army and stop them from destroying Plit!
Cashier: You should’ve thought of that before you entered with a power-
Yux burns him and takes some batteries.
Yux: Run!
The three of them run outside, but Don Pianta and his gang show up and Don takes Yux and holds a Mini Bill Blaster to his head. A police force consisting of Toads appears and aims Mini Bill Blasters at Don and cC.
Don: Listen ‘ere! You don’t shoot, or the Yux gets it, a’ight?
Yux: (sarcastically) Yeah, use me as a hostage! I don’t mind!
Purple: Hey, that’s not cool!
Purple is about to slash at Don, but one of his men grabs him.
Fin: Time to do what I do best!
Fin rams into Don to get him to drop Yux, but faints. Running into a Pianta is almost like doing so to a wall.
P.T.: … I’m going to run away.
P.T. runs away.
Purple: Dang it!
Police Toad: (with a megaphone) All right. Place the hostages down, and you’ll be free to go.
Rocko: Eh? Why you got a megaphone? Don, why he got a megaphone? We right here.
Don: Shut up, Rocko.
Rocko: …
Yux: Ha ha!
Purple: Shut up, Yux.
Yux: …
Rocko: Ha ha!
Don hits Rocko.
Rocko: What was that for?
Don: For being an idiot!
Rocko: Okay.
P.T. walks back up and hits Don in the head with the Megaton Hammer, knocking him out and causing him to drop Yux.
Rocko: Okay, we’ll be a’leaving now.
Don’s men drop Purple and run away.
Chief: Ah. Our work here is done!
Yux: You didn’t even do anything.
Chief: Shut up, Yux.
The police leave.
Yux: …
Purple: Hey! They took my axe! We’ve got to go after them!
Fin: Ooh! I know! I follow people all the time! Follow me!
He runs off.
P.T.: How’d he wake up?
Purple shrugs, and they follow the Piantas to a hotel owned by Dry Bones and Boo. In the lobby…
Purple: Sir, what room is the Pianta Syndicate in?
Manager: I’m sorry, but that’s confidential-
He sees that Yux is preparing his fire breath and P.T. is pulling out the Hero’s Bow.
Manager: (pressing the silent alarm) Why, they’re right behind you!
They look and find the police force behind them.
Chief: Hostage to criminal in five minutes. It really is a cruel world.
BAM!
Goomba Kid: Mommy, why is the sky red?
Purple: 0_0
Everyone goes outside to see a Subspace Bomb being activated. The Ancient Minister is laughing to himself and notices Purple, Yux, P.T., and Fin.
Ancient Minister: Gah! Mr. L! Petey! Get them!
He flies into the Halberd and the two minions appear. What’s even worse…
Dark Toad: I’M BACK!
Waluigi lands on a red space and loses 3 coins.
Waluigi: Hey! They’re the guys who blew up those places! Run away!
Everyone leaves except for the heroes and Waluigi. Waluigi hits the Dice Block and moves ahead 2 spaces. And this continues on until he’s finally at the city limits, and jumps off the Blue Space and into the mob of evacuators. A Pianta gangster opens a window in the hotel and throws the axe at the Halberd in hopes of breaking it, but he misses and it lands in Purple’s hand.
Purple: Ha!
Mr. L: Have at you!
The groups run towards each other and jump into the air, except Fin, who’s confused. Mr. L rapid punches Purple, but Purple defends with his axe, and Yux breathes fire on him from behind.
Mr. L: It burns!
A black tentacle then wraps around Yux, and is revealed to be the Dark Toad’s tentacle. He squeezes him hard, but P.T. hits him with the Ball N’ Chain, releasing Yux. Meanwhile, Fin is messing with the Subspace Bomb.
Fin: Hmm. I could do with this Gyro Doohickeyfier. Oh, and this Flibbertigibbet! And definitely this Turbo Thingofabob.
Fin, stealing parts from the bomb, causes the bomb to shut down.
Petey: *roar*
Mr. L: He shut off the bomb!
Mr. L flips and lands on the roof of the hotel, then jumps off, just missing Fin. He then tries to hurt Fin, but the two get into a cool Kung-Fu fight. The Mega Shell then slides through, ruining the ruined bomb. But Mr. L jumps over it in a cool Matrix-like camera circling method. Fin was already out of the shell’s way.
Mr. L (pulling out a walkie-talkie): Go, Weegie! … What did I just say? Oh well. I’ll just have to call the Minister and get him to bring another bomb!
A blue shell then falls on Mr. L’s head, knocking him out. Purple then gets out of that shell.
Purple: Now who’s pathetic?
Mr. L: Still you!
Mr. L blacks out. Petey and the Dark Toad fall to the ground unconscious. P.T. and Yux land on them and do lots of victorious martial arts poses, complete with spark geysers in the background.
P.T.: You just missed the best fight in midair ever!
Yux: Yeah, if you didn’t know who wrote this story, you’d swear the author who wrote that fight you missed was also the guy who makes Super Mario Bros. Z!
Fin: Stop rubbing it in! Now what should we do with these unconscious bodies?
Yux: Randomize!
He glows, then stops.
P.T.: What’s the good news?
Purple: Our answer is coming this way. Everybody get out of the way!
The heroes get off the street so the Mega Shell can slide through, taking the baddies with them.
Yux: The bad news is…
Police Force: We may be grateful for you guys saving us, but you’re still under arrest for threatening that manager!
Purple: Shall we run through the crowd, fighting our way to freedom?
Yux, P.T., and Fin: Yes, let’s.
“Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting” starts playing as the heroes fight their way through the crowd and/or hop across the top of their heads. Eventually, they make it to freedom, and Yux explains the Randomizer to Fin. Meanwhile…
Ancient Minister: Those “heroes” seem to be getting stronger! They’ve bested Mr. L, Petey, AND Agent Dark. Time to kick it up a notch…
He presses a button and yet another pod is launched from the Halberd. Who is inside this new pod? Are the heroes finally better than the Subspace Army? Will the police force and Syndicate exact their revenge? Why are there fewer questions? Tune in!