The Legend of Shy Away and the Eight Pure Hearts

By Slike373

Shy Away nodded slowly. He really didn’t care about this magical legend, he just wanted to do Bowser’s errand to make up for not showing up at the wedding. That, or go to Yo’ster Isle, and create an elaborate hideout that Bowser couldn’t penetrate. He decided to go where the wind would take him. Literally.

He stepped outside and started fluttering his wings randomly. The wind came in the form of a brick, and hit him in the head. However that works out... The brick was thrown from the north, going south. Therefore, Shy Away figured he should go to Yo’ster Isle. He began to fly over Kero Sewers.

Shy Away felt things getting more and more grim as he headed south. Plants started to become purple, as sadness hung in the air. Tadpole Pond was in awful shape. Toadofsky was playing funeral music for no apparent reason. Tadpoles looked bored to tears, and Shy Away flew up to some old geezer of a frog. “What do you need? The class is taking their math test!” the frog sharply whispered.

Shy Away replied, “May I go to the restroom?… Oh, and what‘s your name?” Frogfucius gave his name, and asked if it was an emergency, and Shy Away thought for a moment. “Wait, I don’t know what I was asking,” he said, and cleared his throat. “Do you know about a forest nearby for me to go to?” he added.

Frogfucius answered rather quickly. “Yes.”

Shy Away waited about four minutes. “Where?”

Frogfucius again answered quickly, pointing at his head. “Right here.” Shy Away figured Frogfucius was being like one of those snobby substitute teachers who always ask “I don’t know, CAN you?” if you don’t use proper grammar when asking to go use the toilet.

“Where is the forest?” Shy Away said, sure he had it this time.

Frogfucius pointed into his brain again. “I imagined a magical forest inside my mind! There’s Paragoombas, and Koopas, and tadpoles, and lots of cricket jam!” he whispered again.

Shy Away wouldn’t take any more of it. “TELL ME WHERE THE DANG FOREST IS THAT’S CAUSING EVERYTHING TO BE ALL PURPLEY AND WEIRD.”

Frogfucius was appalled. “YOU DO NOT YELL AT YOUR TEACHER. NO RECESS FOR A WEEK.”

Shy Away tugged Frogfucius’s beard. “TELL ME.”

Frogfucius’s beard came off, and he shouted, “THAT’S IT. DETENTION FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.”

Shy Away smacked Frogfucius with his watering can. “I NEED ANSWERS.”

Frogfucius was furious. “PRINCIPLE’S OFFICE. NOW,” he yelled, punting Shy Away to who knows where.

Shy Away landed in a floating castle, where Lemmy sat across a table from him. “Shy Away, I see you’ve been very out of character with Frogfucius today. You’re usually so much less assertive about your opinions. Has anything been wrong at home? I know this isn’t like you.”

Shy Away had a lump in his throat, and it was hard to speak clearly. “I live alone with a bunch of plants keeping me company. I don’t THINK anything could go wrong…” he muttered. He had to repeat it for Lemmy.

“Well, you used to work for Valentina, and always do what people say when they’re bigger than you, right?” he said, and Shy Away nodded. “You’ve probably built up a lot of stress with all of this fear controlling you. Was there any anger you experienced closely before this incident?”

Shy Away thought a bit. “A zombie killed some Mushrooms I planted…” he said.

Lemmy nodded. “That must have been like hitting a Bob-omb. The foundation could easily be broken by one more thing, creating an explosion. What happened with Frogfucius was all natural. To keep from bottling it all up, you should be with friends more often, and let a bit of it loose on them. How about we give you one detention at the end of the day?”

After a bit, Shy Away stated, “Wait, I don’t even go to school here. You can’t give me detention…”

Lemmy tensed up. “YOU DARE UNDERMINE MY AUTHORITY?!” He then punted Shy Away into Rose Town.

Shy Away fell into a town meeting. Some Toads were arguing. “That boy has risked the life of two citizens of this town!”

“His insane schemes have been right before! Let the boy try!”

“That’s my BABY that rascal took in there!”

“That’s my baby who took your baby into the forest!”

“AND HE’S A RASCAL.”

“A SHY GUY LANDED ON MY FOOT.”

“I’M HUNGRY.”

“His game is based off of a true story!”

“DOES ANYONE HAVE KETCHUP?”

“Emphasis on the BASED OFF OF A part!”

“I really need ketchup here!”

“It’s a key plot point! They didn’t make it up!”

“JUST ONE SQUIRT?!”

“How do you know?”

“Thank you sir! Now I can efficiently eat my hot dog!”

“IT’S OBVIOUS.”

Someone threw a brick at someone’s head (it happened to be Shy Away’s as he tried to get up.) to get everyone to shut up.

“I’m telling you all we need someone to go in the forest, and at least watch over the child. Now how do we settle this… LAST ONE TO RAISE THEIR HAND GOES IN THE FOREST.” Everyone raised their hand except for Shy Away, who was recovering from the brick. “You, Shy Guy! Go into the forest, and save the children in there!” Shy Away was about to say no, but the Toad added “Or else!” on the end, so he just rushed off to the forest.

============================================================================

Everything was purple, and there were scary Mushroom alien things with red eyes. Shy Away decided to maneuver around them. He’d probably be underleveled for the next boss fight, but a few low levels never hurt anyone. Actually they did. A lot. Err… Anyways…

He heard crying off in the distance, and followed it. He flew over a few trees until he saw a toad with a purple cap holding a bottle next to a crying baby. Shy Away watched the bottle fill up. When it was almost full, he put his watering can over the tears. He asked the boy his name and what he was doing there.

“I’m Gaz,” he began. “I came here to use baby tears to destroy the monster. It was how Mario and Luigi beat her at the end of my Mario game!” Shy Away asked him where to go, and Gaz took out a piece of paper. “All right, this guide from gamefaqs says we get to the maze… right over there… And then we follow Geno, and when we can’t see him, we take a right.”

Even Shy Away knew how stupid that was, and Gaz found out in a few seconds. “Geno isn’t here!” Shy Away nodded in that kind of nod that has wide eyes and is kind of insulting in a sarcastic way. He flew over the trees to look for any clearings (or more importantly, monsters), and he saw a huge wall that said “SORRY, YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO ACTUALLY DO STUFF EVEN THOUGH IT’LL BE BORING AND NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO READ IT.”

“Hey!” Gaz shouted at Shy Away as he came down. “What’s your name?” he asked. Shy Away told Gaz his name, and what he saw above. Gaz pondered for a bit, then walked in, with the baby in a basket strapped to his back. Shy Away followed, humming.

The maze was puzzling the moment the boys saw it. But it was boring. It was so boring, we’re going to cut into commercials now! Hooray! I think.
 

“Hello everyone! Did you get surgery yet to remove our famous jingle from your head? Well, it was a big fat waste of money! Listen to the banana slamma slushie monkey sing our song!”

A brick flies at the monkey’s head. “WE GOT SUED LAST TIME WE LET YOUR JINGLE IN HERE. SHUT. UP,” said an ominous voice that sounded kind of like a rather familiar raccoon who likes coins.

“Let’s go to another commercial!”

“Are you envious of Shy Away? Do your plants not grow fast enough? Are you having trouble waiting for that dang beanstalk to grow so you can get the Lazy Shell? Well NO MORE. The special Shy Away fertilizer has now been added into the market in the Mushroom Kingdom for only 1,000 coins?”

“Are greedy people making deals for over 999 coins on television? Well buy our special wallet in the Mushroom Kingdom Market that can hold 1,000 entire coins, all for the holdable price of 999 coins! Get one at the Mushroom Kingdom market, where we’re anything but greedy!”
 

Shy Away saw the bottle spill, a-

Hey, wait, back up! That last commercial took up too much time.

After backing up, Shy Away and Gaz emerged from the maze covered in sting marks, bruises, and several other ugly things. All the tree stumps in front of them emitted a purple steam as a purple Mushroom ghost- the Elder Princess Shroob’s soul- gave them a cold stare. With every movement it made forward, the jets became more powerful, until it ran into Shy Away and Gaz, to start a classic RPG battle. Of course, it was nothing like an RPG anyways. Two of its four tentacles latched at them. Shy Away dodged, and Gaz was lifted several feet into the air. But more importantly, he dropped the bottle.

Shy Away saw the bottle spill, and went to get it before it ran out. He needed as much as he could get. Shy Away threw it at Princess Shroob’s eye, and the glass cut her ghostly ectoplasmic body, while the baby tears added sufficient damage. He began pouring tears out of his watering can and onto the tentacles. However, once he ran out of tears, the world held its breath. Shy Away dropped his can, having not noticed he was low, and the Shroob managed a hideous smile.

Shy Away was grabbed, and the grip was tight. He could barely breathe, and he already felt like he was going to black out. His blinking started becoming more common, and the edges of his vision went black. The entire forest was still silent, as everything gave out its thoughts that the planet was doomed.

He was knocked out.

The world was suddenly overcome with an inexplicable sadness. Adults frowned and looked at the ground, as older children tried looking strong and shrugged it off. But the children. The children all cried. Especially the babies. The babies were bawling their eyes out.

Including the baby in Gaz’s pouch. Tears streamed all over the Shroob’s tentacle, and it began to weaken. She tried to grab Gaz with another tentacle, and was burned by the tears. She accidentally threw Gaz, and in turn, the baby, right into her own dark face.

It was over.

A Heart came from the ghost and went into Gaz, as one of Shy Away’s eyelids trembled. He had found the Sage of Imagination. And he knew he was going to finish his quest, and not take the easy way out through Yo’ster Isle.

Read on!


 
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