The Legend of Shy Away and the Eight Pure Hearts

By Slike373

“Gosh, this is an uncomfortable situation for the author,” sang Shy Away, sitting in the same room on a lawn chair while drinking a Kerekero Cola.

“You said it! That’s what he gets for hitting so many people with bricks. How awkward will it be for him, trying to get you out of Nimbus Palace? He’ll probably put in boring commercials while you do it!” chimed Mallow, in the same position.

“Uh, guys?” asked the cameraman.

“What is it, cameraman? The story could start up again any second, and I need to finish this Kerokero Cola!” Shy Away nagged.

“We’re filming.”

Red Thwomps with brick patterns on them smashed Shy Away and Mallow. The one above Shy Away crashed down with such great force, he was sent straight into Bean Valley… is what I would say if Shy Away was currently above Bean Valley. He’s really falling into the ocean next to Bean Valley.

“SPLOOOOSH!” the mediocre onomatopoeia director shouted.

The northern Vista Bay was very cold. In fact, it was so cold that…

Shy Away learned Crystal!

Not that anyone cares.

Shy Away decided that he didn’t want to see the fate of his plants just yet, so he went towards Bowser’s Keep. With six of the eight sages awakened, there was no stopping him from barging in there! He fluttered the short distance to the Keep, and saw Bowser tapping his toe next to the entryway.

“WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!” screeched Bowser. Shy Away raised the two of his arms, looking towards the card house. Six of the Pure Hearts circled around, and CRASH! They spontaneously exploded into the barrier, clearing it. Rusted robots tried to come toward Shy Away, but they blew up as well. Not because of the Pure Hearts, but because they were so poorly made.

“Well, it seems the only one left is the rusted robot with a hammer! Who could that be, anyways?” questioned Shy Away.

“It’s Smithy, you dolt!” shouted the rest of the planet.

*record scratch*

“Okay, we are in BOWSER’S KEEP for pete’s sake! Why is the music happy?”

“You know, that’s a really nice change…” Bowser started. Shy Away began fluttering his way down through the Keep. All of the enemies just broke the moment they saw Shy Away. Finally, Shy Away saw six doors. And in front of them, the six Koopalings that aren’t Larry.

“How did you guys…?” Shy Away began. The Koopalings shrugged their shoulders.

“A magical giant, flying brick appeared outside of Booster’s Tower. Ludwig thought it was important, so we hopped on it, and it took us here,” said Iggy. The others nodded.

SLAM!

All of the doors opened, and the floors below the Koopalings revealed themselves to be conveyor belts. Very fast ones. All six Koopalings were sent into a room, and the doors shut. An ominous voice sounded. “If you wish to visit me…” The voice sounded awful. If rust had some kind of sound associated with it, that would be this sound. “…you must go through all six doors. See you then, fool.”

Shy Away decided that if he were to do all six, he’d do them all in order. He went into door one, and as he did, his wings disappeared.

Several Koopa statues were aligned on the walls of a colossal hallway. In front of Shy Away stood Roy, staring at the halls.

“This should be a piece o’ cake to go through! C’mon, flower girl,” he bragged.

They approached the first set of statues, when several Goombas showed up. Roy pounded them. “Slightly more difficult than I thought. But not difficult,” muttered Roy.

Next up was a bunch of Koopas. The same thing happened again.

The third time was a little bit trickier. There was a Fire Bro, a Hammer Bro, and a Boomerang Bro all in a triangle around the heroes. Shy Away used Bolt on Hammer Bro. Lightning surged through the metal hammer and set the hammer being held on fire. Hammer Bro dropped it and ran away. Shy Away used Crystal on Fire Bro, who got mad and tried spitting fire at Shy Away. He only made steam. Roy personally beat the living daylights out of Boomerang Bro.

“Nice going there, flower girl,” Roy complemented. Roy may be a jerk, but when he’s in a fight, he gets relaxed. While he said that, Fire Bro tried tackling him. He got a hard object in his face, and you all know what that is. Actually, you don’t, because it could be a brick, Roy’s fist, or a crystal.

The next battle was against some pink little blob that called itself a Pokemon. It tried turning into Roy, but it became Shy Away. It was immediately stepped on.

Finally, the twosome ran into their first real challenge. It was the character who you never seem to get a break from seeing in Lemmy’s Land. He’s just about everyone’s favorite character even though he’s just an immature brat. No, not Lemmy. It was… Doopliss!

“You thought my shape shifting slave was tou-” he began.

“No, he was pathetic,” Roy interrupted.

“It doesn’t matter, Slick! I’m the greatest shape shifter to ever live on the planet!”

It’s a shame you’re stupid. If you were smart, you’d turn into a bird, fly over Shy Away, and turn into a bus, or something. Now, Tanookis. They’re geniuses.

“I’m going to turn into YOU!” he shouted.

Now see, that’s where most shape shifters go horribly wrong. You NEVER become your opponent. If you do, you’re equal, except not only did you just waste time transforming, you’re also probably not nearly as used to the body as they are.

Doopliss successfully turned into Roy. The real Roy took off Doopliss’ shell and beat the living daylights out of him.

“All right, we beat freak sheet. Now what?” Roy complained, but halfway through, a massive light teleported them out of the room. Shy Away went into door two.

Ludwig was sitting down, complaining to a Hammer Bro, when Shy Away came in. The Hammer Bro, who we will now call Dr. T, hopped onto a platform. Ludwig pat Shy Away on the head and hopped on the other one. They were now to play a game. Dr. Topper would move first. They could pick up to four coins by hitting a block, and whoever picked the 21st coin lost. Shy Away watched in glee.

Dr. Topper took four.

Ludwig took one.

Dr. Topper took three.

Ludwig took two.

Dr. Topper took two.

Ludwig took three.

Dr. Topper took one.

Ludwig took four.

Dr. Topper took one coin, but was interrupted, because he had taken the 21st coin.

Everyone except Ludwig dropped their jaw. Ludwig yawned. Dr. Topper led everyone to the next room. It was a pad puzzle. All the pads were up. When one pad was pressed, all of the ones around it would change, but not in a diagonal pattern.

To be blunt, Ludwig aced every puzzle thrown at him. The light shined again.

Next up was door 3. It turned out to be very action oriented inside. Terrapins were hopping up and down everywhere, showing an invisible platform light up. Lemmy was overwhelmed by the heat radiated from the lava, so Shy Away had to drag Lemmy across. Eventually the Terrapins left, so Shy Away had to make ice fall in random places to show where was safe to go, not to mention that the ice impacted the platform to light it up. Eventually, Shy Away made it again.

The next room had no lava, and Lemmy sprang to life. He gave Shy Away a glare, and hopped on a steel ball. Bob-ombs were in the room, and were dangerous. Lemmy grabbed Shy Away and pulled him over to the other side, expertly riding the ball.

The next room had platforms over lava. Shy Away would have to step on one, and the one next to it would spin around. Shy Away got an idea instead. “Lemmy?” he asked.

Lemmy frowned. “What IS it?”

“You can’t give me detention.”

“YOU DARE UNDERMINE MY AUTHORITY?!” shouted Lemmy, punting Shy Away into the door on the other side. The light shined again.

Door 4 was the same as door one, except it was harder. Not to mention that instead of the brilliantly powerful Roy, Shy Away was stuck with Iggy. Kidding. He’s stuck with Morton.

The first fight was against Hyper Goombas. While Morton talked about how he would take them out, Shy Away was firing bolts like mad. By accident, he hit Morton. Morton yelled so loud, the Goombas exploded. Yup.

Next was a new species called Hyper Koopas. They charged up, and tried firing at Shy Away. Morton continued talking to himself. Since he didn’t have wings, Shy Away scampered around, dodging this and that. Finally, he managed out an elegy. The Koopas could no longer charge, and they ran away.

The next fight you probably already know. It was a hideously powerful foe to fight. Hyper Bros. of all three kinds. H. Fire Bro shot a huge blast of fire at Morton, who seemed not to be affected thanks to that heat he loves so much. H. Hammer Bro threw a sledgehammer at Shy Away. No, it’s not like a Sledge Bro’s hammer, it’s a sledgehammer. Shy Away used Bolt on it and the wood burned away, but the metal still flew at him. You could say that he was hit in the head with a brick.

H. Boomerang Bro threw a sharp, metal boomerang at both Shy Away and Moron. Excuse me, MORTON. Fortunately, Shy Away threw it off-course with a blow from Crystal. While everyone charged up again, Shy Away used Elegy. Interrupted mid-charge, the Hyper Bros. spontaneously combusted. Strange.

Next up was hyper pink blobby Pokemon thing. It turned into Morton, and had a nice conversation with him about wedding cake. Shy Away edged his way past. Next up was… not hyper Doopliss. Instead, it was Gloomtail, with Dimentio holding a Nintendo DS to his side.

“Come now. Your adventure ends here, simplistic gardener! I shall now throw you into a repugnant world to battle Gloomtail. It is called… Pokemon!

Shy Away groaned, and soon found himself inside the Nintendo DS. He couldn’t move, but Gloomtail sure could.

Gloomtail: 257/257
Shy Away: 178/178

Gloomtail used Charge! Gloomtail has stored energy! Gloomtail’s Sp. Def. went up!

Shy Away used Light Screen! (Elegy) The party is now protected by a wall of light!

Gloomtail used Dragon Pulse! Shy Away’s light screen reduced the damage!
Shy Away: 85/178

Shy Away is panicking! Shy Away used Thunderbolt! (Bolt)
Gloomtail: 224/257

Gloomtail used Earthquake! The attack had no effect!

Shy Away used Energy Ball! (Willy Wisp) It’s not very effective.
Gloomtail: 216/257

Gloomtail used Stomp!
Shy Away: 48/178

Shy Away used Ice Shard (crystal)! It’s super effective!
Gloomtail: 140/257

Gloomtail used Charge! Gloomtail has charged energy! It’s Sp. Def. rose!

Shy Away used Ice Shard! It’s super effective!
Gloomtail: 80/257

Gloomtail used Dragon Pulse! Light Screen reduced damage!
Shy Away: 0/178

Morton finally joined the dang battle!
Morton: 234/234

Gloomtail used Earthquake! It’s super effective!
Morton: 112/234

Morton used Chatter! … Gloomtail became confused!
Gloomtail: 35/257

And…

And…

Gloomtail used earthquake! It’s super effective!
Morton: 0/234

Read on!


 
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