The Dark Prognosticus, Chapter 1: Paper Mario, The TRUE Story

By Dimentio

Chapter 41: Siege on Bowser’s Castle & Koopaling Mishaps 1

Mario & Co see they are getting closer to Bowser’s castle. Kammy notices the starship and panics a bit at the sight.

Kammy: Oh my! Mario is getting here quickly! Men, deploy the cannons and blow Mario out of the sky!

Koopatrols bring out Bombshell Bill Blasters and starts firing at the Starship. Mario is shocked at all the incoming bombshells and freezes with fear. Luigi takes the wheel and maneuvers out of the bombshells’ range.

Mario: ! Way to go, Bro!

Luigi: I don’t drive my Engine Room around for nothing.

The bombshells keep on coming but Luigi dodges then with little difficulty.

Kammy: Go warn King Bowser! The rest of you, keep firing! Fire the Bombshell Banzai Blaster!

The gang stares as the mouth of Bowser’s castle opens up and shoots out a huge Bombshell Bill.

Toad: Do a barrel roll!

Luigi does a barrel roll and avoids the giant Bill of death in time but… Boom! More Bombshell Bills were behind the Banzai Bill and one of them hits the Starship. Smoke streaks across the sky as the Starship starts to lose speed and altitude.

Luigi: Prepare for crash landing!

Luigi steers with his eyes closed! Boom! The Starship crashes right outside of Peach’s castle!

Mario: Sweet! We got close enough and skipped Bowser’s castle!

The crew gets off the Starship and heads towards the door. Just as Mario reaches for the knob… POW!

Bowser: Where are they?!

Mario: Mamamia!

Luigi: Wahhh!

Toad: Darn it!

Bowser opened the door so hard the force blew Mario & Co out of the castle yard! They land right in front of Bowser’s Castle yard. They get up but get pushed back down by Old Man Junior.

OMJ: Sonny, that was very rude to hit an old man with a door like that. Hmm, nice hideout… Have we finally tracked down Osama bin Laden?

Mario: Uh, sure?

OMJ crashes through the door of Bowser’s castle. Inside they can hear some screaming, something being blow up, and OMJ grumbling. They decide to go in and see the place a destructive mess with knocked out Koopatrols.

OMJ: Whippersnappers, it’s great that we finally get to capture Osama and all but you’re too dang slow!

OMJ continues on and the others fallow. OMJ takes everyone out in the hall and blasts the door down.

In a secret room…

Ludwig: ! That must be the Mario Bros! Is everything set?

Larry: Everything is at go!

Iggy: We’d better hide before-

Lemmy: I count to ten?

Roy: For the last time, you idiot, we’re not playing hide-and-seek!

Morton: Yeah! We are going to play hide-and-go-kill-the-Mario-Bros! This plan can’t possibly fail! What do you think, Wendy?

Wendy: All I think is that you should pipe down! I just want to put my heels through that snobbish Boo’s throat!

Meanwhile, the Mario gang walks in and sees a lone room with a Bowser face door.

OMJ: That’s nasty. Didn’t know Osama had a thing for reptiles.

He points a rocket launcher up to the door’s face.

Bowser Door: Woah! Slow down, buddy! I’m here to help you guys. Just come a bit closer.

Luigi: Forget it. This is some kind of trick!

OMJ: For once I agree with you, sonny.

OMJ gets ready to fire the rocket launcher.

Bowser Door: HEY, hey! This isn’t no trick. I can tell you valuable information on how to stop… err… Osmba… Ozama…

OMJ: Osama?

Bowser Door: Yeah, that guy. Just step in front of me.

OMJ grabs the gang and pushes them in front of the Bowser door. The floor opens up underneath them and they fall down.

Mario: Thanks a lot, you old coot!

Whip! They fall down hard into a jail cell. They hear someone laughing.

OMJ: OWW! My hip!

BOOM!

Ludwig: Forget it, you pasta pulverizing plumbers! These bars are made out of tough stuff. Not even an explosion can save you.

Mario gets up and sees the Koopalings laughing.

Mario: You’re back?!

The gang and the Koopalings look at their respected enemies with rage.

Ludwig: Once I tell Pops of the good news, I’ll be making long and painful experiments on you fungus!

Toad: Your music would be more torturous!

Ludwig shoots out a fireball at Toad in rage.

Ludwig: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Lemmy: Hahahaha! That was… um, when I find something amusing?

Ludwig: Funny…

Lemmy: Yeah, that’s the word!

Roy: I hope you liked the electric chair cage, ‘cause soon that’s were youse are going back!

Watt: Hmph! How does that breeze feel, baldy?

Roy attempts to bend the bars to grab Watt, but can’t.

Iggy: Further proof that you guys ain’t going nowhere!

Mario: Hmm, you may have brains, Iggy, but your stupid hair and looks say otherwise.

Iggy: HEY! Chicks on the forum dig me, okay?!

Wendy: Please! You can’t talk to any girls except for Mom and me!

Bow: With the way you look, he might mistake you for a guy. Hahaha!

Wendy tries to break through the bars with fury the Koopalings have never seen before. Ludwig takes out a needle, puts it in a blowpipe, and aims for Wendy’s neck. He blows and Wendy falls down, knocked out.

Morton: Thank you for taking care of her Ludwig! Sometimes- no, ALL the time I can’t stand that brat! Seriously, how does Dad put up with her?

Luigi: How can anyone stand you?! Man, listening to you is like grinding your butt on a cheese grater!

Larry: Heheh, he got you good, Morton. So where’s that sorry excuse for a Koopa loser?

WHN: Who’s the bigger loser? The loser or the plant freak that got beat by the loser?

Ludwig: Enough talk! Let’s go and tell Dad the great news personally.

They all take out their magic wands and spin them around. Magic sprinkles on them and they disappear.

Luigi: Drat! What do we do now?

Toad: There’s no hope in breaking those bars.

Mario: …! You’re right! So we’ll break the walls!

Mario and Luigi take out their hammers and start smashing the wall. They hit it with all their might but only manage to make a slight crack. However they manage to shake the entire room. Behind them, Junior climbs out of the crater he made when he hit the floor. A pile of cardboard boxes topple over because of the shaking and one lands on Junior.

Mario: *huff* It’s*puff* no use…

Luigi notices something scuffling behind him.

Luigi: ?

They see a cardboard box moving towards the wall. Inside they can hear someone humming.

Mario & Co: What the-

BOOOOOOM!!!

Solid Junior: Kept you waiting, huh?

Mario & Co start coughing from the smoke and try to see the new freakish form Junior has. The smoke clears and they stare in amazement/confusion. Junior is completely different from regular. He is about a foot taller and slimmer. His rainbow cap has been traded for a rainbow bandana except with some shade of gray. He has some peach fuzz around his beak. His suit is now a camouflage suit and he has a belt loaded with various weapons.

Solid Junior: No four walls can hold me down.

Solid Junior starts to run and the gang follows in pursuit. He heads towards a hall and they go in running after him. However ,once through the hall they stop as they see the room filled with lava. Ahead they see an obstacle course that Solid Junior is clearing with ease.

Solid Junior: Too easy!

Through the use of amazing skill, some acrobatics, and luck, Solid Junior manages not to get scorched at all.

Mario: Uh… Let’s cheat.

They hop onto Lakilester, and Bow uses Outta Sight. Lakilester moves on ahead, going through all the obstacles. They manage to catch up to Solid Junior as he heads into a hall where the lava is coming out. They go in and see a room with lava pouring down like a waterfall. Atop they can see Kamek barking out orders to three Koopatrols. In front of them they can see a cardboard box moving up some stairs.

Mario: Mush! We have to help Junior!

Lakilester: Slow your horses!

They get near the stairs and jump towards them. At the top…

Kamek: And that’s how I raised three generations of Bowser’s family!

Koopatrol: ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz- *pop* You’re not THAT old! I mean, you’re anci-

Suddenly the Koopatrol starts gasping for air. He falls down unconscious. Standing behind him is Solid Junior. The other Koopatrols start freaking out but Kamek snaps them back to reality.

Kamek: Hold yourselves together! It’s just a fat penguin and most importantly, we can’t let them hit this switch or His Grouchiness will be REALLY furious!

The Koopatrols look at each other and gulp. They face Solid Junior and lunge at him.

Solid Junior: Now.

*click* Boooom! The Koopatrols are sent flying and screaming. Kamek gets on his broom and flies up. He starts shooting geometric shapes at SJ. SJ rolls forward and takes out a missile launcher. He fires at Kamek but he merely teleports out of the way. SJ takes out a grenade and throws it at Kamek. Kamek puts up a shield and it is reflected back at SJ. It blows up on him but he is still standing.

Solid Junior: Now you’ve made me mad!

Solid Junior jumps as high as he can but Kamek shoots out his geometric shapes. They hit him and he falls back down to the floor. SJ gets back on his feet and tries jumping again but towards the wall. Kamek fires again towards SJ but he wall jumps, dodging the attack. SJ gets close to Kamek and he closes his eyes in fear. He reopens them after a while and sees SJ back on the floor.

Solid Junior: Now!

*click* Boom! Kamek gets blown up by the C-4 on him and is sent to the floor.

Solid Junior: Modern technology says “Hi”!

SJ takes out a rocket launcher and points it in Kamek’s face.

Kamek: CRU-

BOOOOM! Kamek’s burned corpse goes flying away just as Mario & Co arrive.

Mario: *huff* Long stairs…

Junior hits the switch and… nothing happens…

In Peach’s castle…

Bowser: Bwa ha ha ha! This always calms me down…

Bowser is in his massage chair, which has been modified for his big shell. The whirring of the machine fills his private chamber and Bowser sips some Koopa tea. The whirring stops…

Bowser: ? What the…

Bowser hits the on switch. Nothing happens. Bowser lets out a roar of flames.

Bowser: Once I get my hands on Kamek I’ll-

Back inside Bowser’s castle…

Mario: Well I don’t know what was so important about that switch. Nothing happened!

Luigi: We really need to stop that lava from flowing.

Solid Junior takes out a powder keg and sets it where the lava is coming out. He sets some C-4 and heads a safe distance.

Solid Junior: Now!

*click*… … … Nothing happens. Solid Junior crawls towards the powder keg and inspects the C-4. Toad notices SJ dropped a detonator.

Toad: Ohh, what does this do?

*click* BOOOM! Crash!

Solid Junior: NOOOOOOoooooooooo!

Solid Junior’s flaming body crashes through the roof and the lava stops flowing.

Toad: Oops…

After a while the lava cools and Mario & Co can walk over it. They go back out and continue going forward. Eventually they see another hall and go in.

Luigi: Eeeeeeek! Mamamia!

They are surrounded by darkness. The place is pitch black and they can’t see 6 inches in front of them. At least the people who aren’t near Watt…

At the Bowser face door…

Ludwig: Don’t push!

A Bowser statue starts to move and out emerge the Koopalings.

Larry: Ack! I hate that place Iggy made. There’s no light!

Iggy: That’s not the worst part of it, my brother.

Lemmy: Yay! The Mario Bros. will be stuck there forever!

Ludwig: Just in case, we’d better make sure the exit is bolted to the door.

Roy: Right! One of us should do it.

The room stays silent…

Ludwig: Well come on! We might as well go get the tools…

Ludwig signals the Bowser face door and it opens. The Koopalings go in and the door slams shut.

Back with the heroes…

Mario: Watt, light the way!

Luigi: Wah! I don’t want to go!

Mario has Luigi tied up and is riding with Lakilester. The place looks like some cave, just more… demented. They gather up their courage and go on forward. The place is eerily silent, which Mario finds odds.

Mario: Hmm, usually there are some guards…

Toad: Maybe they were all scared of the dark…

They continue walking for quite a while. Later Mario stops, a bit terrified.

Bow: Mario, what’s wrong?

Mario: I distinctly remember that stalagmite in that certain angle.

Luigi: ! We’ve been walking in circles?!

Mario: Watt, look around. Maybe we missed a road or something.

Watt starts facing every direction but all they see is the same barren yellow road. They start to huddle up when they hear a noise.

Mario: Toad, please tell me that was you…

Toad: No…

The ground starts to shake and Mario & Co stand their ground. A hand emerges from the ground followed by another and another. Then a skull emerges with its red eyes staring at Mario & Co. The rest of the body pulls itself out of the ground and starts to stand up. A moaning noise fills the air around them and the Dry Bones and Bony Beetles start to walk towards them, their bodies shaking with every step. Luigi gets so scared he tears through his ropes.

Luigi: MAMAMIA! Mario, I told you to be careful when you defeat Koopas in castles with lava pits!

Mario: *gulp* Any ideas?

Watt & Toad: They are going to eat my brain!

WHN: I’ll save us!

WHN uses Fire Shell at full speed and rams into a couple of them. However, they are unfazed.

Mario: Uh, yeah Robert, fire never really helped me in my past adventures dealing with these guys.

WHN: It would’ve been nice to know! HELP! THEY’RE TRYING TO OPEN UP MY SKULL!!!

Bow: Who else wants to play hero?

The Dry Bones and Bony Beetles still head towards them and the group only huddles together.

Up above…

Morton: Oh no!

Ludwig: What?

Morton: I must have dropped my Koopa bracelet in that dark cave. You know, the same bracelet that has been passed down from Koopa generation to Koopa generation and that our precious but evil Kind Dad bestowed upon me from birth-

Koopalings: Shut up and go get it!

Morton: I’llbeback.

Morton goes back into the tunnel and Larry taps Ludwig’s shoulder.

Larry: Should we wait for him?

Ludwig: Maybe…

Ludwig looks at his drill and picks it up…

Morton: Maybe I should’ve got a flashlight. My wand barely gives out light! What the?

Morton looks down from where he is at and can see the scared group of heroes. Morton gets a smile on his face.

Morton: Hmm, with a well-placed ground pound I can squash them all and King Dad will finally admit to me that I am his favorite. I mean, why else would he put me as Morton Koopa Jr? Here I come, Mario!

Morton jumps off the bridge and executes a ground pound.

With Mario & Co…

Toad: What do we do?!

Mario: ! Look!

Mario points and the gang sees a little space between the Dry Bones/Bony Beetle army, and ahead of that is another road going up higher.

Mario: If we make it there, we can get out!

Luigi: But how?!

Mario: Break out the long jump!

Mario long jumps towards the Dry Bones and uses them as stepping stones to get across. Luigi grabs Toad and does the same. The others merely hover above the Dry Bones/Bony Beetle army just as…

Morton: HEYYOUWEREN’TSUPPOSETOMOVEANDIDIDN’TTHINKTHATDROPWOULDBETHATLONGOHNO!!!

CRASH!!!

Morton lands with so much force he makes that part of the bridge collapse, taking the Dry Bones/Bony Beetles with him and even catapulting WHN towards the gang.

Morton: I wonder how long THIS drop will be… AAAAAHHHHhhhhhhh…

Mario & Co just shrug and continue forward, with Watt leading the way.

Back on top…

Roy: Man, what is takin’ that ugly moron so long?!

Iggy: Hmm, maybe I should check on him…

Iggy goes in, and a few seconds later comes back out flailing his arms.

Iggy: Mario’s coming!

Ludwig: What?! Quick, we must seal the exit!

Iggy: Too late! They’ll be here any minute! Time to do what Dad always told us.

Lemmy: Get out of his sight and go jump in a lava pit?

Iggy: No! “He who koops and runs away lives to koop another day!”

The Koopalings run just as Mario & Co finally get out of the creepy cave.

WHN: Ugh… I have such a headache.

Mario: Hey, we’re back at that dumb Bowser face door!

Bowser Door: Hey! Wait, you got out?! Well I’m still not letting you go through.

BOOM! The door comes off its hinges and Mario & Co go through.
 

Chapter 42: Siege on Bowser’s Castle, and Koopaling Mishaps 2

Mario & Co jump out of the smoke and start coughing. When it clears, they see Junior’s fried corpse where the Bowser Door used to be.

Mario: Well that’s another favor Junior did us… I guess.

The gang gets up and sees a huge hall with 3 intersections.

Mario: Hmm. We should split up to see which road will take us to Bowser the fastest. So Luigi and Toad, with me; Bow & WHN, continue going left; and Lakilester & Watt, you go up the stairs and go to the right. We will go left.

Bow: What about Junior?

Mario: He will be fine. Break!

They split up and go their directions.

With Mario’s group…

Mario & Co go up the stairs and head left. They open the door and see a storeroom with a lone Spiked Goomba on guard. He notices them and looks surprised.

Spiked Goomba: ! GASP! You’re the deranged Marion Bros and the psychopath Toad!

They ready their hammers…

Spiked Goomba: … Not! I haven’t seen you hairy faces around here, but hey, I’m bored. So, got any money?

Mario: Sure?

SG: So want to buy items?

Mario looks at the price of a Super Shroom.

Mario: ! 100 GOLD COINS?!

SG: Is there a problem? Bleagh!!!

Mario lifts his hammer and signals to Toad. Toad stuffs as many items as he can into his burlap bag and they run off.

With Bow & WHN…

WHN: Bow, how do you put up with Mario’s stupidity?

Bow: Well he’s not that bright, but I wouldn’t say he’s stupid. Anyway…

They enter a door and go down some stairs and see a prison room with a Koopatrol guard sleeping.  Bow signals WHN to be quiet and they tiptoe to the guard. They pry off the keys and open the jail cell.

Talctiv T: YAY! WE ARE SAVED!

The Koopatrol wakes up and immediately rams into WHN.

WHN: You little!

WHN goes into his shell and slams into the Koopatrol. It staggers a bit but then smirks.

Koopatrol: Weak, aren’t we? What the?

Bow uses her fan like a hammer and hits WHN’s shell into the Koopatrol over and over again until the Koopatrol is defeated. However, WHN shell breaks… again…

WHN: @$%#! That was my last blue shell! That shell is what made me unique! Wah!

Bow starts dragging WHN away and back up the stairs…

With Lakilester & Watt…

Lakilester: Like, ladies first.

Watt: Thanks!

They go inside and see a huge corridor, but it is quite odd-looking.

Watt: What do you suppose those chains are for?

Lakilester: Don’t know, but let’s keep on going.

In another room…

Wendy: They are falling right into my trap! Guys, you ready?

Roy: Whatever…

Wendy signals them and the Koopalings pull on a chain. Suddenly the corridor starts to shake and the place starts to flood.

Lakilester: Not cool! Hang on, little buddy.

Lakilester grabs Watt and they just float on top of the water thanks to Lakilester’s cloud.

Wendy: What?! They were supposed to drown! Guys, keep pulling on that chain while I go take care of that Lakitu.

Wendy jumps out of the room and the Koopalings keep pulling on the chain.

Iggy: Boy, this is hard work.

Roy: Thats cuz youse a weakling, Iggy. THIS is how a man does it.

Roy jumps up and pulls on the chain with so much force that… snap! The chain breaks in his hand.

Roy: Uh oh…

Lakilester: Hey, who’s that dude swimming towards us?

Wendy: DIE!!!

Wendy takes out her wand and starts shooting geometric shapes towards Lakilester. He starts dodging but notices they are getting close to the roof. The water keeps on pouring and Wendy wonders why they haven’t stopped flooding the place. She keeps blasting and eventually hits Lakilester, but…

Lakilester: Oh no!

Watt: I’m not so good with water!

BZZZZZAAAP!!! Watt falls into the water and is electrocuting everything in the water, including Wendy!

Wendy:  BLAGIDIAGIDIAGIDIAGIDIAGIDIA!!!

Ludwig looks outside and sees her sister suffering.

Ludwig: Oh, I don’t know whether to laugh or to be panicking. Quick, shut that water off before it reaches us!

Ludwig then sees Roy still holding the chain, and gulps.

Meanwhile, Lakilester is panicking as the water almost fills the top of the corridor and the water is still electrified. Ludwig takes out a Bob-omb and throws it into the water. A muffled boom is heard and the water starts to drain out… along with Wendy’s fried corpse.

Ludwig: Oh dear…

Roy: Well I guess it’s my turn now!

Meanwhile, Lakilester breathes a sigh of relief, finds Watt, and fetches the other party members. They go through the corridor and enter another hall. However, they duck as a Bombshell Bill nearly hits them. They see rows of Bombshell Bill Blasters, each near a set of stairs. Roy is at the very end of the room, laughing. Ludwig taps him on his shoulder.

Ludwig: You set these up yourself, correct?

Roy: Why of course! You can’t trust lowly minions with a genius plan like this.

Ludwig: Did you make sure you screwed in the stands of the Blasters?

Roy: Yeah…

Mario takes out his Mega Quake Hammer badge and hits the floor hard. Some B. Bill Blasters disassemble and blow up. Others end up with their cannons tilted toward each other and blow each other up. Roy’s Blaster turns around and aim at him.

Ludwig: Tightly?!

Roy: No… AAAHHH-BOOM!

Roy gets blasted to smithereens and Ludwig leaves before he is next. Mario & Co easily take care of the remaining Blasters and march on. They enter a room with a bunch of Bowser statues. Suddenly Toad takes out his contraption again and tugs on Mario’s overalls.

Toad: More puzzles, Mario!

Mario: Forget that! I want to beat up Bowser and I want to do it now!

Then a Dry Bones emerges from the ground. It throws a bone at them when just as suddenly, Junior breaks through the door, running.

Junior: *huff, puff* I’m here you guuaaahhhh!

Junior trips on the bone that landed on the floor, goes flying, and hits the wall hard! The wall starts crumbling and falls down towards our heroes. Bow uses Outta Sight! Crash! They get out of the rubble unscathed except for Junior, and see ahead of them another room with a locked door. Mario uses Power Smash and smacks the lock clean off. They enter and to their dismay, see another Bowser face door.

Bowser Door: Well well, you guys made it past my bro, huh?

Mario: I’m not sure if ‘past’ is the right word…

Bowser: If you want to get through here you are going to have to pass my quiz! It’s simple, really: answer five right and you win! Get three wrong and suffer for your stupidness. Start!

3 Shy Guys, two Bob-ombs, and 5 Koopas comes out for 5 seconds, then disappear.

Bowser: All right, the question is-

Mario: 3 Shy Guys!

Bowser: Actually I was going to ask which door I am, but wrong! Three strikes! You’re out! Heh heh heh, I’m so witty, just like Bowser himself.

3 Anti Guys appear and look at Mario & Co.

Mario: What?! I thought you said I needed to get three answers wrong!

Bowser: Yeah, well that question was worth three questions, so there. Anti Guys, murderlize them!

The Anti Guys rush them and a bloody brawl ensues. Oh, wait, I should censor that.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

After the match, the Anti Guys decide its best to clean their robes of the, uh, raspberry jam, and leave. Junior comes through the door.

Junior: Ick! That’s naaaasty.

Bow and Watt are the only ones not to have gotten hurt thanks to Outta Sight. Junior carries Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Lakilester while Bow carries WHN. The Bowser Door is crying from his laughter. Junior gets mad and charges at the door. Crash! It comes off its hinges and they continue on…
 

Chapter 43: Siege On Bowser’s Castle, and Koopaling Mishaps 3

Junior and Bow notice they are outside the castle. The guards notice them and hesitate to attack.

Koopatrol: Uh, shou-should we get them?

Magikoopa: Of course! They’re kn-knocked out. You guys take care of that mutant penguin. We will uh… cover you from here. Yeah, that’s it!

The Koopatrols line themselves up and charge up their super attack. Bow thinks quickly and gets out a Super Soda. She pours it down Junior’s throat. The Koopatrols charge at them but Junior opens his mouth and…

Junior: BUUUUUUUURPPPPP!!!

Junior’s Atomic Belch launches all the enemies off the bridge and wakes up the unconscious partners.

Mario: Huh…? Ow! Pain coursing through entire body…

Bow takes out some Super Mushrooms and gives them to the injured party members. They continue across the bridges outside and reach a door. They go in and Toad’s device start ringing again.

Mario: Hmm. We need to go quickly through here! What to do…

Junior: Time for me to shine.

Junior reaches into his rolls of fat in his stomach and takes out three powder kegs. The gang quickly jumps him but he has already lit them.

Previously with the remaining Koopalings…

Iggy: Okay, we will ambush them when they open the door and-

Lemmy: Give them wedgies for what they did to us!

Iggy: I was thinking more along the lines of throwing them in separate dungeons. Quick, here they come!

They see them and jump up to pounce on them, when…  BOOOOOM!!! Outside, a quarter of Bowser’s castle blows up. Out of the hole flies two corpses. The gang open up their eyes and see themselves in a long corridor. Mario sees a heart box and hits it. At the end of the hallway he finds Peach!

Peach: Mario!

Mario: Peach!

They start running towards each other with open arms and tears in their eyes. However, just as Mario is about to hug her, WHN comes flying from the explosion in Mario’s way and makes him trip. Mario goes flying, as does his hammer, and- bonk!

Peach?: Hey, watch it, plumb scumb! Oops…

The Peach turns back into a Duplighost, which Mario hammers to oblivion. Mario goes into fury mode… as in he is just mad. He breaks down the door and is about to beat the face out of the door.

Bowser: Woah, hold up there, friend! I’m not like those other doors. I’ll actually let you through…

Mario & Co smile, but then a shadow appears above them.

???: Banzai!

Mario & Co jump back as the Koopa Bros. drop down! They do their pose

Bowser Door: -if you manage to beat these guys! Which you won’t! Ha!

Red K: Mario, you remember us, right?

Mario: ?

Red K: Hey, I saw that. Well Bowser was kind enough to restore our power and more! So now we are no longer the Koopa Bros. We are…

Koopa Bros: SUPER ULTRA MIGHTY KOOPA BROS. THE GREAT!!!

In another secret room…

Ludwig: Okay, now we will ambush them, and we will succeed thanks to the Koopa Bros.

Larry: Yeah, it’s go time, Bro!

They jump down in front of the Koopa Bros, and the Bowser Door laughs.

Bowser Door: Get ready to be beaten within an inch of your-

???: YAAAAAHHH! I finally found you, Mario! Out of my way, punks.

Mario: ! Oh no!

Ludwig: What the-

POW! POW! Ludwig and Larry get pulverized away by Jr. Troopa.

Jr. Troopa: There you are! Good thing there was a big gaping whole in the castle, otherwise it would’ve been a pain finding you.

Red K: Hey dude! Not cool just beating up our bosses like… Wait a minute, you look familiar…

Red Koopa looks at Jr. Troopa and he looks at him back… Suddenly…

Jr. Troopa: … Dad?

Red Koopa: Son!

They smile at each other and then look at Mario menacingly.

Red K and Jr. Troopa: It’s time for our revenge!

Mario & Co: Mamamia!

Mario: 45/45
Luigi: 44/44
Toad: 43/43
Vs.
Red K: 30/30
Black K: 20/20
Green K: 20/20
Yellow K: 20/20
Jr. Troopa: 60/60

Jr. Troopa tackles Mario AND the Koopa Bros stack up on each other. Mario punches Jr. Troopa away but he uses the momentum to bounce off a wall and pounce on Mario even harder. The Koopa Bros. charge towards Luigi but he Super Jumps out of the way and they crash with Mario AND Jr. Troopa. Mario jumps out of the pile but Jr. Troopa jumps after him.

Jr. Troopa: You can’t escape me this time, Mario! You have my full attention!

Jr. Troopa gets inside his eggshell and starts rolling after Mario. Mario takes out his hammer and smacks Jr. Troopa away. He lands on a Bowser statue. He picks it up and throws it towards Mario. Mario jumps out of the way but falls down. Jr. Troopa then delivers a brutal kick to Mario’s back.

Luigi: We have to help Mario!

Luigi runs over to help Mario but the Koopa Bros. stand in his way. LuIgi tries to jump over them but Green and Yellow jump as well and bring him down. Red Starts punching Luigi while the other have him pinned down.

Toad: Maybe I should help.

Toad looks inside his burlap bag and takes out a Bob-omb. He throws it at the Koopa Bros.

Red: Uh oh! Now!

Suddenly they disappear in a puff of smoke and the Bob-omb hits Luigi instead. They reappear behind Toad in their stack and proceed to run him over.

Mario: 19/45
Luigi: 31/44
Toad: 35/43
Vs.
Red K: 28/30
Black K: 18/20
Green K: 18/20
Yellow K: 18/20
Jr. Troopa: 46/60

Mario can’t even get up after the last kick, and Jr. Troopa places his foot on his back.

Jr. Troopa: I’ve got you right where I want you…

Jr. Troopa jumps up high and does a ground pound. Mario quickly rolls out of the way and Jr. Troopa misses. Mario quickly takes out his hammer and squishes him. Jr. Troopa ignores the pain and gets the hammer off him.

Jr. Troopa: Well then, let’s see how we like this! More power!

Jr. Troopa goes inside his coffin and comes out as Troopula.

Red: That’s my boy! Hey!

While Red is distracted, Luigi gets up and hits the tower, causing the Koopa Bros. to wobble. Toad finishes the job by throwing his hammer at them. They fall down but land gracefully on their feet.

Red: Ha!

Luigi gets out Quake Hammer and hits the floor. The earthquake flips over the Koopa Bros. Toad grabs Green and throws him at Black. Luigi jumps on Yellow, pinning him down. Red gets up and targets Luigi.

Red: Time to show off a new skill. Hi-yah!

Red throws out a shell-like shuriken at Luigi. It pierces into Luigi’s back and he lets out a scream.

Red: That’s not the worst part!

Luigi: I don’t feel too good…

Luigi reaches into his back and pries out the shuriken. He sees it’s covered in poison! Luigi falls down, holding his stomach in pain. Red helps Yellow up and they form their stack again.

Toad: This is not looking good…

Toad start running just as the Koopa Bros. start going after Toad. He quickly reaches into his burlap bag and takes out a Bob-omb. He heaves it behind him, right into the Koopa Bros’ path. Boom! They fall down again.

Mario: 19/45
Luigi: 25/44 Poisoned
Toad: 35/43
Vs.
Red K: 26/30
Black K: 13/20
Green K: 13/20
Yellow K: 11/20
Troopula: 42/60

Mario wards off Troopula from biting his neck by swatting him away with his hammer. Troopula hides in his shell again and dive bombs towards Mario. Mario catches him but Troopula’s wings put up a fight against Mario’s strength. Mario pushes him down and Troopula hits the floor instead, resulting in him getting stuck.

Troopula: Crud! Ow! Stop that! Ow! Cheater!

Mario has started pulverizing him with his hammer. Troopula pries himself out before Mario can get another lucky swing. He goes up high and start creating a whirlwind towards Mario. Mario tries to stand his ground but the wind is too powerful and he hits the wall hard. Troopula tries again and dive bombs towards Mario. Mario ducks down and Troopula crashes into the wall, breaking through it.

Troopula: Ow! Stop moving, Mario! You’re taking the fun out of this…

Troopula comes out of the hole in the wall and POW! Mario used Power Smash! Troopula starts to see stars but shakes off the pain. Meanwhile…

Toad reaches into his vest and gives Luigi a Tasty Tonic, curing him of his poison. Luigi uses Super Jump just as Yellow gets up. Yellow gets flipped over again. Black gets up and disappears in a puff as smoke just as Toad tries to whack him with his hammer. He reappears behind him and takes out a shuriken. Toad ducks just as Black throws it, and hits his brother’s shell instead.

Green: Hey! Watch it, will you?! I just had this thing wa-aaaaaaaHh! Oof!

Toad threw Black at Green again. Red gets up and aims at Toad this time. Toad notices and gets out his hammer in defense. Red start throwing out multiple shuriken but Toad manages to bounce them all away with good hammer maneuvers. Red suddenly throws one at blinding speeds and strikes Toad in his hand. He lets go of the hammer and pries the shuriken out of his hand. Red quickly jumps towards Toad and kicks him towards a wall. Toad hits but suddenly feels very sleepy. Toad falls asleep! Luigi sees Toad in danger and takes out a POW Block. POW! The Koopa Bros. are flipped over again…

Mario: 13/45
Luigi: 22/44
Toad: 26/43 Sleep
Vs.
Red K: 24/30
Black K: 8/20
Green K: 8/20
Yellow K: 0/20
Troopula: 22/60

Yellow: Uh, dudes, like everything is going black… ugh…

Yellow faints! Luigi goes over to Toad and tries to shake him awake. Toad opens his eyes but still isn’t fully awake.

Red: Forget this! Black! Green! Follow my lead.

Red disappears in a puff of smoke and is right up without even trying. Black and Green do the same and they are back up in their stack. They charge towards Luigi and Toad. Luigi grabs Toad and Super Jumps over them. The Koopa Bros. do a U-turn and are still in hot pursuit. Pow! Luigi and Toad go sailing. Toad wakes up from the pain. They land on the floor but quickly get back up. The Koopa Bros. go for another hit. Luigi gets out Power Quake and hits the floor. The resulting Earthquake causes the Koopa Bros. to go flying up in the air. Toad jumps up and smashes Green down with his hammer. Luigi catches Black with a Lightning Downcut. Crash! Both Bros. hit the floor hard but Red lands on his feet and gets mad. He throws down a smoke pellet and half the room gets covered in smoke. Luigi and Toad start coughing and can’t see. Red jump-kicks Toad from behind, making him drag across the floor. Luigi turns around and tries to punch but doesn’t hit anything. Luigi hears something coming towards him and jumps out of the shuriken’s way. However, Red tricked Luigi and quickly aims with another shuriken in hand. He fires and hits Luigi dead on. Luigi falls to the floor and can’t get up.

Luigi: Uh… Room… spinning… Make it stop…

Red pounces on top of Luigi and grabs him by the hair.

Red: How about a whisker shaving, Luigi?

Toad gets up and, as silently as he can, shoots out 4 Mini-Stars towards Red. They hit him and he turns around. The smoke clears and Toad appears out of nowhere and attaches himself to Red’s face.

Red: Ahh! Get him off! What are you doing?!

Luigi tries to get up but still can’t from being dizzy. Meanwhile…

Troopula starts making another windstorm towards Mario. Mario quickly hides behind a Bowser statue and is safe from the wind.

Troopula: Come on out, you coward!

A hammer heads towards Troopula but he catches it in his hand.

Troopula: How predictable!

Troopula flies towards the statue and smashes it with the hammer. Out of the rubble, a punch smacks Troopula square in the face, sending him a couple feet away and making him drop the hammer. Troopula rubs his sore head.

Troopula: Not bad, Mario… but try this now!

Troopula goes back into his coffin and comes back out with his cape and magic staff.

Troopula: Die, Mario!

Mario: 13/45
Luigi: 3/44 Dizzy
Toad: 14/43
Vs.
Red K: 20/30
Jr. Troopa: 18/60

Red attempts to punch Toad but Toad lets go of his face and Red punches himself instead. He grasps at his face, saying bad words, and wobbles about. Toad + 8 HP from Leech! Toad helps Luigi up and gives him a Mushroom. Luigi + 5 HP! Red throws a smoke pellet at them and they become engulfed in smoke. Red then gets inside his shell and shoots for them and Boom! Red hits a wall from the force of the Bob-omb explosion. Toad stands there, smiling.

Toad: You’re not the only one who uses trickery, you know!

Luigi: Toad!

Toad notices Luigi is slightly charred.

Toad: Oops… Forgot to get you out of the way…

Red quickly throws a shuriken at Toad and hits him. Toad holds his head and start to wobble. Red jumps from the wall, dagger in hand.

Luigi: Super Luigi to the rescue!

Pow! Zap! Luigi got to Red before he could finish off Toad and delivers a brutal Thunder Uppercut. Red hits the ceiling and falls back down. Luigi then jumps on him and flips him over.

Red: Uh… Forgive me, Lord Bow- Pow!

Luigi squished him with his hammer. The Koopa Bros. are defeated! Jr. Troopa shoots out geometric shapes towards Mario and Mario backflips out of the way. He looks behind him and notices what Luigi abd Toad did to his long-lost dad.

Jr. Troopa: Dad! Take this you… you… doo-doo heads!

Toad: Is that the best you can-

Jr. Troopa releases his deadly black orbs and they hit both Toad and Luigi. Bow and Watt come into play.

Jr. Troopa: NO! No one is going to interrupt my fight with Mario this time!

Jr. Troopa spins his staff and a forcefield is created around Mario’s partners.

Jr. Troopa: Now Mario! I’m going to beat that mustache off your face.

Mario: Try it!

Jr. Troopa swings his staff and clouds start to appear inside the room. Mario braces himself but Jr. Troopa just laughs at that. He stops and points his staff at Mario. The clouds start shooting out lightning towards Mario and he holds up his hammer in defense. Jr. Troopa starts howling with laughter. However he doesn’t realize that Mario is using his hammer as a lightning rod and his gloves are static-proof. In short, the lightning zaps the hammer but can’t get through to zap Mario! Mario holds the electrically charged hammer and throws it at Jr. Troopa, who is still busy laughing. Zaaapow! Jr. Troopa falls to the ground and Mario jumps towards him.

Mario: 13/45
Vs.
Jr. Troopa: 10/60

Just as Mario lands on Jr. Troopa, he quickly points his staff towards Mario and fire shoots out, hitting Mario right on the chest. Mario holds onto his chest and Jr. Troopa stands up. Jr. Troopa raises his staff and says an incantation. Jr. Troopa + 10 HP! Mario takes out a Hot Shroom. Mario + 15 HP + 5 FP! Jr. Troopa quickly floats back up before Mario can smash him with his hammer. Jr. Troopa starts shooting geometric shapes towards Mario like crazy. Mario puts up his hammer in defense but gets overwhelmed and takes heavy damage. Jr. Troopa releases another fire spell towards Mario. Mario stands up and just holds his hand out towards the fire.

Partners: Mario! What are you doing?!

The fire engulfs Mario and Jr. Troopa snickers at the pillar of flames. Suddenly the pillar starts spinning around and forms a tornado of pure fire! It heads towards Jr. Troopa and he is too stunned to get out of the way! Fwoom! Jr. Troopa gets engulfed and then spit out towards a wall. POW! Jr. Troopa falls down from the wall and the tornado settles. The partners see Mario where he stood, unscathed! Mario runs towards Jr. Troopa but he points his staff at him again and shoots out his black orb. Mario jumps over it and lands right on Jr. Troopa! Jr. Troopa ignores the pain on his noggin and hits Mario away with his staff. Mario easily lands on his feet and swings his hammer towards Jr. Troopa. He puts up his staff in defense and swings vertically. They start to duke it out as the partners watch, amazed that Jr. Troopa’s staff didn’t get crushed under the pressure of Mario’s hammer. They both swing vertically and clash into each other, getting knocked back a couple feet, but Jr. Troopa quickly sends out another black orb. Mario quickly bends backwards and watches the orb shoot right past his nose. It hits behind him and an explosion occurs, knocking Mario off his feet.

Mario: 2/45
Vs.
Jr. Troopa: 2/60

Jr. Troopa: I got you, Mario!

Jr. Troopa swings his wand again and geometric shapes start barraging Mario. Mario’s screams are muffled by multiple explosions. Jr. Troopa decides to go in for the overkill and shoots out a Flame Stone towards Mario. BOOM! Jr. Troopa laughs maniacally. Suddenly Mario leaps out of the smoke and heads towards Jr. Troopa.

Mario: Here I- oof!

Mario got swatted away by Jr. Troopa.

Jr. Troopa: You didn’t think I’d be stupid enough to think you wouldn’t have a Life Shroom or something, right?

Mario: D’oh…

Jr. Troopa recovers 10 HP and goes in for the kill again. Mario quickly gets out a Fire Flower and plants it on the ground. Jr. Troopa releases his geometric shapes and the Fire Flower shoots out its fireballs. The fireballs go through the geometric shapes and strike Jr. Troopa. Mario jumps and brings down the fried Jr. Troopa. He hits the floor hard but quickly says an incantation. Jr. Troopa uses Meteor Blast! Mario gets blasted and hits a wall. Jr. Troopa sends out another back orb towards Mario but he quickly wall jumps of the wall and jumps into Jr. Troopa again. However, this time Mario kicks Jr. Troopa’s staff away and holds him down. Mario takes out his hammer but Jr. Troopa kicks Mario away and Mario’s hammer goes sailing another direction. They both look at their respective items and quickly dash towards them. However, Jr. Troopa reaches his first.

Jr. Troopa: Ha! What do you think of that-

Pow! Jr. Troopa turned around and got hit square in the face by Mario’s thrown hammer. Jr. Troopa rubs his face and gets uppercut to the roof by Mario.

Jr. Troopa: Look at all the pretty stars! Uhh…

Jr. Troopa falls down fainted. Mario & Co win! Mario & Co + 5 HP!

Mario sweats his brow and starts gasping. The forcefield disappears and the partners help Mario stay up. They pick up Toad and Luigi and head through the Bowser Door, which was blown off its hinges by Jr. Troopa’s black orb.

Back in the room, Jr. Troopa wakes up…

Jr. Troopa: Listen to me, Mario! This war is not over!

The Koopa Bros. wake up too.

Red K: Yeah! We will beat you one day!

The Koopa Bros. disappear in a puff of smoke and Jr. Troopa teleports himself away.

Mario & Co reach the top of the stairs.

Mario: Okay gang, you ready?

Partners: Yeah!

WHN: No!

They ignore him and open the door…

Read on!


 
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