Rivals to the Rescue

By zz1666

Mario and Bowser have just reached Yoshi’s Island.

“Man, I’m exhausted!” says Bowser. “It took us hours to get here!”

“Um, it only took about 20 minutes,” says Mario.

“I need rest,” says Bowser. Bowser lies down and begins breathing heavily.

“I can tell that you don’t walk much,” says Mario.

“Why walk when I have the Clown Chopper and the Koopa Cruiser?” says Bowser.

“For a thing called exercise,” says Mario.

“I get plenty of it,” says Bowser. “Do you know how big my castle is?”

“True,” says Mario. “But it must not be big enough then.”

“Hey, that was a fat joke!” yelled Bowser. “You know I don’t like fat jokes!”

“Sorry, it was hard to resist,” says Mario. “Well, time to get up. We’ve got to go get Yoshi.”

“Ugh, fine,” says Bowser.

Bowser slowly gets up. The two of them walk into the center of Yoshi’s Island. They are in a village filled with several Yoshis. One of them sees Bowser. “It’s Bowser!” shouts the Yoshi. “Run!”

All the Yoshi run into the nearest building. “Ah great, you scared them,” says Mario.

“Well, go tell them I’m not here to kill them,” says Bowser.

Mario and Bowser walk through the village. Mario sees Yoshi outside of a hut. “Hi Yoshi,” says Mario.

“Look out, Mario!” shouts Yoshi. “Bowser is right behind you!”

“I’m working with Bowser,” says Mario. “Look, we need to get to Sub-con to rescue Peach-”

“And the Koopalings,” adds Bowser.

“So do you think you guys can fly us there?” asked Mario.

“Certainly,” replies Yoshi. “You can ride on Yoshi. Yoshi get friend for Bowser.”

Yoshi runs into a house, and when he comes out, there is a blue Yoshi next to him. “Hop on,” says Yoshi. Mario gets on Yoshi.

“Bowser, you can ride blue Yoshi,” says Yoshi.

Bowser gets onto blue Yoshi. “Oh, he too fat,” says blue Yoshi.

Blue Yoshi soon falls to the ground, with Bowser on top. Bowser gets off, to see that he has flattened Blue Yoshi. “Aw come on!” shouts Bowser. “I’m not that heavy!”

“This could be a problem,” says Yoshi.

“I knew we should have taken my Koopa Cruiser,” says Bowser.

“Well, it looks like the Yoshis aren’t going to get us there,” says Mario. “So we must find a new way to get there.”

“Well we have two options,” says Bowser. “Koopa Cruiser or Clown Chopper.”

“No, I’ll find us a different way to get there,” says Mario.

“Yoshi sorry Yoshi can’t help,” says Yoshi.

“It’s all right, Yoshi,” says Mario. “You can tell the other Yoshis that it’s safe to come out. Bowser isn’t going to hurt a fly.”

A fly is seen buzzing around Bowser’s face. He breathes fire, obliterating the fly.

“Well, maybe a fly, but he won’t hurt a Yoshi,” says Mario.

“Ok,” says Yoshi.

Yoshi and Blue Yoshi walk away.

“I got it!” exclaimed Mario. “We’ll use the cannon at Fahr Outpost!”

“Are you kidding me?” asked Bowser. “Fahr Outpost has to be at least 50 miles away.”

“Well, we probably can walk there in a few hours,” says Mario.

“Walk?” says Bowser. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Well, you could use the exercise,” says Mario. “Come on, let’s go.”

Mario and Bowser begin their trip to Fahr Outpost. After a few hours of walking through the woods and over the hills, they reach Fahr Outpost.

“Hey Bowser, you’re looking great,” says Mario. “I think you might have shed a couple of pounds!”

Bowser collapses. “And I thought Yoshi’s Island was bad,” says Bowser. “At least it was warm there! I think I have some icicles hanging from m nose.”

Mario walks up and rips the icicles off. “Ow!” shouts Bowser.

“Sorry,” says Mario. “I had to get rid of them.”

“It’s fine,” replied Bowser. “Let’s just get into that cannon.”

The two of them enter Fahr Outpost. By now, Bowser is covered in snow. “It’s Big Foot!” shouts a Bob-omb. “Everybody run!”

All of the Bob-ombs run into their homes. “Not again,” says Bowser.

“You need to stop scaring people,” says Mario.

“I can’t help it,” replied Bowser.

“Well, it’s fine, since the Bob-omb who runs the cannon is still standing out there,” says Mario.

“Well, let’s go ask him for the cannon,” says Bowser.

Mario and Bowser approach the cannon. “Oh Mario, it’s good to see you back,” says the Bob-omb.

“Nice to see you too,” says Mario. “Anyway, Bowser and I need to use the cannon to get to Sub-con. May we?”

“Once you find General White,” says the Bob-omb.

“Oh great, another episode of chase the general,” says Mario.

“I believe he said that he went to visit some veggie queen,” says the Bob-omb. “Good luck!”

“Veggie Queen…” says Mario.

“Now who could that be?” says Bowser.

Mario and Bowser think for a moment.

“Queen Bean,” says Mario.

“Oh no, no way,” says Bowser. “We are not going back to the Beanbean Kingdom no matter what. Nuh-uh, sorry.”

“Come on, Bowser, Cackletta is long gone,” says Mario. “We’ll simply take a nice little walk.”

“No, we’re not going to the Beanbean Kingdom on foot,” says Bowser. “Way too risky.”

“Well, we did get attacked when we went by air,” says Mario.

“… Fine, I guess we can walk,” says Bowser. “I mean, I’ve done more walking today than I’ve done in my entire life. Might as well.”

“That’s the spirit!” cheered Mario. “Let’s go!”

Mario and Bowser begin walking to Beanbean Castle.

Meanwhile in Sub-con…

“Are you slowpokes done?” asks Wart.

“Uh, not quite,” says a Shy Guy Scientist. “Give us a few hours-”

“Hours?” says Wart. “Hours?” Wart’s voice is growing louder. “You guys better hope Bowser is living up to his name as a slow turtle,” says Wart. “This needs to be done before he gets here. You guys are lucky he’s slow…”

Back with Mario and Bowser, they have made it to Beanbean Castle.

“That wasn’t too bad,” says Bowser. “I think I’m finally getting used to this ridiculous amount of walking. How do you do it, Mario?”

“I’m in shape,” says Mario.

“Well, here we are,” says Bowser. “Let’s go in and get General White.”

Mario and Bowser try to enter, but are stopped by the guards.

“Halt, who goes there?” asked a guard.

“It’s-a me, Mario,” says Mario.

“And Bowser,” says Bowser.

“Who are you guys?” asks the other guard.

“I’m Mario, the famous superstar from the Mushroom Kingdom,” says Mario.

“And I’m Bowser, King of the Koopas, who kidnaps Princess Peach and wants to takeover the Mushroom Kingdom,” says Bowser.

“Oh, I see,” says the first guard.

“So who are they?” whispers the second guard.

“I have no idea, just humor them,” whispers the first guard.

Mario and Bowser both hear these comments. “This isn’t working, Mario,” says Bowser.

“I know, we have to find a different way to get in,” says Mario.

Just then, Queen Bean comes out. “What is this nonsense?” asks Queen Bean.

“We’re here to look for General White,” says Mario. “Do you know where he is?”

Queen Bean turns around and grabs a Bob-omb. “Is this the man you’re looking for?” asks Queen Bean.

“Yeah, that’s him,” says Mario.

“Well, this sculpture he made is certainly realistic,” says Queen Bean.

“Sculpture?” asks Bowser.

“Yes, that man came by and made a sculpture of himself to remind me of him,” says Queen Bean.

“Well do you know where he went?” asks Mario.

“He says he went to get some soda,” says Queen Bean.

“Thanks,” replies Mario.

Mario and Bowser walk away. “Hmm, now where would he go to get soda?” thinks Mario. Mario and Bowser think for a few minutes.

“Oh no, I have bad memories of that place,” says Bowser.

“You mean Chucklehuck Woods?” asks Mario. “How so?”

“Um, that guy Bottles captured Popple and I, and then Chuckolador attacked us,” says Bowser. “Nuh uh, no way I’m going back there.”

“Aw come on, Bowser, don’t be such a wimp,” says Mario.

That word puts an absolute halt to all emotion on Bowser’s face. “Wimp?!” snaps Bowser. “I’ll show you wimp!”

Bowser grabs Mario, and begins frantically running to Chucklehuck Woods. “Oh wow, I didn’t know you could run this fast,” says Mario.

“Neither did I,” replies Bowser.

When Bowser reaches Chucklehuck Woods, he continues to run right through the woods, and reaches Chucklehuck Reservoir. General White is seen there.

“Yes, we found him!” cheers Bowser.

Mario and Bowser approach General White. “Ah, what are you doing here?” asks General White.

“We came to get you so we can use the cannon at Fahr Outpost to get to Sun-con,” says Mario.

“Oh,” says General White. “That’s fine. But might I ask what Bowser is doing here?”

“We’re teaming up,” says Mario.

“Oh, all right,” replies General White. “So what are we waiting for? Let’s get back to Fahr Outpost.”

General White, Mario, and Bowser begin heading back to Fahr Outpost. After an hour or so, they reach it.

“Well, you guys can go hop into the cannon,” says General White. “I’ll just get it fired up. You said you want to go to Sub-con, correct?”

“That’s right,” answers Bowser.

“All right,” replies General White.

Mario and Bowser climb into the cannon.

“Cannon set to launch in five,” starts General White. “Four... three... two... one... blast off!”

The cannon shoots Mario and Bowser out at top speed, with a thunderous boom. Mario and Bowser go soaring through the skies. After a minute of flying, they crashland in Sub-con.

“Ugh... That landing hurt a bit,” says Mario. “You all right, Bowser?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” says Bowser. Bowser gets himself up off the ground. “Need a hand?” asked Bowser.

“Yes please,” replied Mario. Bowser lifts Mario up. “Thanks,” says Mario. “So, which way is Wart’s castle?”

“That way,” says Bowser, pointing east.

“How do you know?” asked Mario.

“There’s a sign right there,” says Bowser.

Mario looks to see a sign that reads “Wart’s Castle” and has an arrow pointing east.

“Well, let’s go!” exclaims Mario.

“Wart’s as good as gone once we get a handle on him.”

Meanwhile with Wart...

“Wart, we’ve finally finished!” exclaims a Shy Guy scientist. The Shy Guy scientist holds up a giant laser.

“Well it’s mighty impressive looking,” says Wart. “But let’s just see if it works, shall we?”

Wart takes the laser and walks into the room where the Koopalings are being held. “Now, who should I shoot first?” says Wart.

“Well, who do you hate the most?” asks the Shy Guy scientist.

“Wart, what is that?” asked Morton. “It’s giant, huge, enormous, powerful-looking, intimidating, a-”

“Yeah, Morton is first,” says Wart.

Wart aims the laser at Morton. He presses a button, and a huge blast of light is shot directly at Morton. A boom is heard, and smoke surrounds Morton.  After a few seconds, the smoke clears, and Morton emerges as a frog.

“It worked!” exclaims Wart.

“Ahh, I’m a frog!” shouts Morton.

All the Koopalings begin to laugh. “This has got to be the funniest thing I’ve seen in my life!” says Lemmy.

“You look ridiculous!” says Roy.

“Oh, don’t think you guys are getting away as Koopas,” says Wart. “You all shall soon follow Morton. Wah ha ha!”

"Hey Wart, why do you have me here?" says Peach.

"What?" asked Wart. "How are you talking? Regardless, I just kidnapped you to show Bowser he's not the only one who can kidnap a princess."

"That's a lame reason for taking me," says Peach. "Also, why does it have to be so boring around here?"

"Well uh, what do you normally do when Bowser kidnaps you?" asked Wart.

"Sit in a room and insult him," says Peach. "Oh hey, I guess I can insult you now, you fat frog."

"You keep insulting me," says Wart. "But there's nothing you can do to get free, my little caged Pidgit."

Back with Mario and Bowser, they have just begun to work their way into Sub-con.

"This place has become a lot more vacant," says Mario.

"Good," says Bowser. "Maybe we can get through this place without having to fight anyone."

Just then, a figure appears on a hill top. "Spoke too soon," says Bowser.

"Yo guys arrived here quickly," says the figure.

"And you have the worst dialect I've ever seen," says Bowser.

"The only person I know who talks like that is Mouser," says Mario.

"Then you must be Mouser," concludes Bowser.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," says Mario.

"Dat's right," says the figure. "I am Mouser, the greatest!"

"Well what are you doing here?" asked Mario.

"I came here to stop yo guys," says Mouser.

"Well you're certainly not going to do that," says Bowser. "Out of my way!"

Bowser begins to charge at Mouser but Mouser throws a Bob-omb at Bowser, sending him retreating. "So that's where all my Bob-ombs keep disappearing off to," says Bowser. "You little rat!"

"And don't yo forget it," says Mouser, as he throws another Bob-omb at the two of them, but they both dodge it with ease.

"All right, so how are we going to beat this loser?" asks Mario. "Since there aren't any veggies around I think we should-"

Mario's sentence is cut off by Bowser, who roars, then breathes fire at the Bob-omb Mouser threw. When the Bob-omb hits the fire, it bursts, causing a giant explosion, but harming nobody.

"Well that method might protect us, but it certainly won't hurt Mouser," says Mario.

"Then what should we do?" asked Bowser.

"Before the Bob-ombs burst, pick them up and throw them back at Mouser," says Mario.

"That is such a stupid idea that it might just work," says Bowser.

Mouser throws a Bob-omb. Mario picks it up and hurls it back at Mouser. The Bob-omb hits Mouser.

"Ow, that's not cool," says Mouser.

"So how many more of those do we have to throw back at him?" asked Bowser.

"Five or six more," says Mario.

"What?" says Bowser. "That will take forever."

"Not if you throw good," says Mario.

While they are talking, Mouser chucks another Bob-omb at them. However, they react too slowly and the Bob-omb bursts on them. "Ha-ha!" laughs Mouser.

"Son of a rodent…" says Bowser.

"I take that personally," says Mouser.

Mouser throws another Bob-omb. Bowser picks it up and throws it back at Mouser. However, due to his horribly bad aim, the Bob-omb misses Bowser and hits a ledge above him and bursts, causing the ledge above Mouser to collapse on top of him, burying him in a pile of debris.

"Wow, your horrible aim paid off," says Mario.

"I meant to do that," says Bowser.

"Of course you did," replied Mario.

"Someone help... me," Mouser says wearily.

"Well, I guess we can advance now," says Bowser.

"Nice," replies Mario.

The two of them pass by Mouser and continue through Sub-con. They come over the hill Mouser was standing on and see a large valley.

"Well, I think once we pass through this valley we'll be at Wart's Castle," says Mario.

"I think you're right," says Bowser.

"Let's just hope we can get through this valley as quickly and smoothly as possible," says Mario.

"That's wishful thinking, Mario," says Bowser.

"I know, but you need to believe," says Mario.

"Well I don't," replied Bowser.

"It'll never happen with that kind of attitude," says Mario.

 Back with Wart...

"So why did you turn us into frogs?" asks Lemmy.

"Now there will be no stopping me from getting back to Dark Land, where I can rule," says Wart. "No more Koopaling rule. Wart's empire will be ten times as strong."

"Your efforts will fail miserably," says Ludwig.

"Wait and see," says Wart. "I got it all planned out…"

Read on!


 
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