The Mushroom Games

Episode Eight

By Crazy Packers Fan

Crazy Packers Fan: Welcome to our eighth episode. I could start sensationalizing the fact that weíre near
the end, or I can get to business.

DK: Get to business!

Crazy Packers Fan: Fine then. With another team to go this week and only four remaining anyway, our field is
getting awfully thin.

Daisy: Wario isnít!

Crazy Packers Fan: All rules have exceptions. Anyway, weíre going back to some old times. Those of you who never played the Game & Watch Galleries may not know much about some of these contests, but the four remaining teams must go through Game & Watch stages. Iíll explain the rest later, but first Iíll explain
our simple points scale. Whoever gets first gets 4 points, all the way to 1 point for fourth. These points are strictly for this competition and are not added on to the teamsí overall points. They are simply used to help us figure out the winner easier. Everyone ready?

Everyone: NO!!!

Crazy Packers Fan: As I thought. Weíll start out with the Chef competition.

Peach: Chef?

Crazy Packers Fan: You should remember this! Your team must keep flipping an egg from one personís frying pan to another. You stand in a circle. Whoever keeps their egg up the longest wins!

Daisy: Hold on to your hats, folks! Youíre seeing the most exciting event since the national log-sawing
championships of last year!

Crazy Packers Fan: Ready, go!

Wario is first, and he and Yoshi start fighting over the egg. Soon they split the egg in half and each eat
their half of it.

Crazy Packers Fan: Fourth place for the Mario Morons!

Donkey Kong doesnít understand how to flip an egg, so he picks it up, throws it in the air, and smashes it
like a tennis ball.

Crazy Packers Fan: Third place for the Interview Imbeciles!

Tony canít quite understand what cooking is, so he hammers the egg instead.

Tony: That will teach it not to mess with-

Crazy Packers Fan: The Super Koopas win!

The Mario Surfer: We never got our egg, too! Oops!

Smash: Quiet! Want Green Bay Guy to find that out and give us last?

The Mario Surfer: No.

Smash: Then shut up!

Crazy Packers Fan: Give me your egg so I can give it to Yoshi and Wario, Super Koopas!

Rachelle: (thinking fast) I ate it already!

Crazy Packers Fan: I hope not! I let Lemmy cook those!

Wario and Yoshi: BLAH! BLAH! YUK! PTOOIE!

Crazy Packers Fan: Oh, well, just take some kind of antidote later. The score:

Super Koopas: 4
Hammer Brothers: 3
Interview Imbeciles: 2
Mario Morons: 1

Misty: This gameís RIGGED! Weíll lead at first and then lose!

Crazy Packers Fan: Our next event is Flagman. I have my pal, Mr. Game & Watch, right here to help me hold
up flags. He or I will hold up 1, 2, 3 or 4. Iíll give you all flags, and youíll have to hold the same number up. Pick four of you to hold flags up!

Daisy: We pick Wario, Yoshi, Luigi, and myself.

Crazy Packers Fan: Good. Now for the Imbeciles?

Angry Sun: Metal Mario, the Millennium Star, Snifit, and Albatoss.

Crazy Packers Fan: And the Hammer-

Tony: The Boomerang and Fire Brothers.

Crazy Packers Fan: And-

Washu: Misty, Lord Seth, Rachelle, and I.

Crazy Packers Fan: All right. Now time for the game!

Mr. Game & Watch holds up the number 1.

Daisy: Wario! Thatís your cue!

Wario: Right. Iíll take three double cheeseburgers and extra-large fries to go!

Daisy: NO!!!

Albatoss: Does that number 1 mean we won?

Angry Sun: Hold up your flag, moron!

Albatoss: Flag? You mean this?

Albatoss, flying overhead the Imbeciles, drops the flag onto Angry Sun. The flag instantly burns.

Albatoss: I tried!

Fiery and Lord Seth actually get it right!

Crazy Packers Fan: That means both the other two are eliminated. Since Albatoss tried, his team gets third.

Mr. Game & Watch holds up a 2.

Tony: Thatís you, Fireball!

Fireball: Oh! Iíd like to cash this check.

Tony: No! No! Weíre not in a bank! Hold up your flag!

Boomer: Mine?

Crazy Packers Fan: The Hammers hold up the wrong number and lose! The Super Koopas win again!

Rachelle: I never even held up my 2 flag! Oops!

Smash: Iím telling you to shut up and not give it away!

Rachelle: Okay.

Crazy Packers Fan: Our score is now:

Super Koopas: 8
Hammer Brothers: 6
Interview Imbeciles: 4
Mario Morons: 2

Misty: This gameís RIGGED! Weíll still lose!

Crazy Packers Fan: Now for the game Mario Bros. My pal Ludwig von Koopa here made these machines. There are four cake machines. Four Baby Bowsers stand on top of them, and theyíll sometimes mess up your rhythm. One of you grabs the cake and sends it on the conveyor belt to the other one of you. You keep doing it until you get to the truck, in which a Baby Bowser will drive your cakes to my home, so I can eat them! Whoever gets the most in one minute to the truck wins!

Misty: This game is made for your convenience only!

Crazy Packers Fan: Thatís the bonus of being a host!

Ludwig 222: Why Baby Bowsers?

Crazy Packers Fan: It cost too much to get all the Koopalings, so I used the cheap way out.

Ludwig: And itís all my inventions! Using some scientific laws and theories, I was able to make them all identical and all work perfectly! Just call me Dr. Physics!

Crazy Packers Fan: Dr. Physics? I thought Mr. Game & Watch was a strange name... Now get on your teams!

Misty: Iím not doing it this time! Anytime I do something Pokémon come in and my own teammates make fun of me!

The Mario Surfer: Misty and I are on a team!

Crazy Packers Fan: What a surprise!

Tony: This time Hammer and Hammerer are going!

DK: DK and Angry Sun on team!

Daisy: Wario and Yoshi volunteer!

Yoshi: Wario and Yoshi volunteer?

Daisy: (to Yoshi) Cake's involved if you win!

Yoshi: Yoshi do it!

Crazy Packers Fan: Ready... set... go!

Yoshi starts eating every cake that comes to him.

Wario: Hey, let me join in on this! I donít want to chance losing any weight!

Misty puts the first cake on the conveyor belt. Once the cake goes underneath the automatic fruit
dispenser, out come some Pikmin onto the cake.

Crazy Packers Fan: I thought I told you to put berries into that machine!

Ludwig: Well, they looked like berries...

Crazy Packers Fan: I donít want those things in this competition! Stomp on them, crush them, eat them...

Wario: My pleasure!

Misty: But theyíre innocent!

Crazy Packers Fan: Nothing that sounds like a Pokémon is innocent in the Mushroom Games! Kill them all!

After a minute of Yoshi and Wario pigging out...

Crazy Packers Fan: No one gets any points for this round thanks to Dr. Physicsís big mistake. On to the
next round, Vermin!

Peach: I hope that doesnít involve mice!

Daisy: Sheís such a baby! Let a real princess handle this!

Crazy Packers Fan: Actually, you all must. All kinds of rodents will pop out from the ground. Whack them with your hammer to defeat them. The most at the end of one minute wins! Go!

Lord Seth: You forgot something.

Crazy Packers Fan: Whatís that?

Lord Seth: The hammers!!!

Crazy Packers Fan: Well, the Hammer Brothers have hammers!

Lord Seth: (mumbling) I canít say what I want to say because itís not fit to print!

The Hammer Brothers crush 100 rodents in the minute. The Mario Morons get 10 from Waluigi yawning and
taking them out with his bad breath. The Interview Imbeciles end up with 2 when DK slips and crushes two
underneath his long arms. The Super Koopas, as you eight figured, get 0.

Crazy Packers Fan: Hereís our standings now:

Hammer Brothers: 10
Super Koopas: 9
Interview Imbeciles: 6
Mario Morons: 5

Misty: I said it before and Iíll say it again, this gameís RIGGED! Here comes another Hammer Brothers win
and Super Koopas loss!

Crazy Packers Fan: Time for our next event, Parachute! Four of you, one from each team, will be in a boat.
The rest must jump from that high building with your parachutes on and catch whoever falls. You get 1 point
for a member of your team and 2 points for members of an opposing team, because they can try to manuever
away from your boat into the nice, hot, steaming lava. Whoís going in the boats?

Misty: ME!!!

Smash: Iíll be in the boat. The rest of you will jump!

Misty: This team is cruel! Can I switch teams?

Crazy Packers Fan: You have three choices.

Misty: Iíll choose the-

Crazy Packers Fan: Hold on! Let me tell you your choices. Kool Koopas, Pitiful Piranhas, and Goofy Goombas. Which one?

Misty: Uh, no thanks. But youíve got to let me do something good sometime!

Crazy Packers Fan: Trust me, you will.

Misty: Youíll never find out how to beat 15-Minute Melee if you donít!

Crazy Packers Fan: All right, all right! Who else will boat?

Daisy: I will, because a true princess must be treated like one. I will not step in that lava!

Hammer: I will, because Iím not brave enough!

Metal Mario: I must, because Iíll be nothing if I jump into that lava!

Crazy Packers Fan: Ready, set-

Lord Seth: We donít have parachutes!

Crazy Packers Fan: Does that matter? Jump!

Lord Seth: (mumbling) Ooh, if I were only allowed to say what I feel like saying...

The jumpers try hard to not fall into the lava, but most do. Getting a good bounce, Misty is able to bounce off Tony, who fell in the lava, and land in a boat.

Misty: YES!!!

Daisy: Hello!

Misty: Wrong boat, Misty, wrong boat!

Washu is also able to bounce off a Sledge, this time Sledgy, and land in a boat.

Metal Mario: Hi!

Washu: Wrong again!

Wario is able to fall perfectly- right in Daisyís boat.


Daisyís boat crumbles. If not for Wario making a cushion for Daisy and Misty to land on, they would be toast.

Crazy Packers Fan: Thatís all! The winners are the Interview Imbeciles, with 2 points! Since Daisyís boat
crumbled, they get 0 points anyway! Now for the updated standings:

Hammer Brothers: 10
Super Koopas: 9
Interview Imbeciles: 8
Mario Morons: 5

Misty: This gameís RIGGED! Weíll be in third in no time!

Crazy Packers Fan: Time for yet another challenge: Donkey Kong Jr.!

All Overheated 32 Members: NO!!!

Crazy Packers Fan: Youíll climb through vines and hope to free Donkey Kong Jr. from the clutches of the evil Mario!

DK: DK remember this, but in a different way!

Crazy Packers Fan: You should!

Ludwig 222: Well, you all play the Game, & Iíll Watch! Iíve had it with these challenges! In fact, Iíve never
complained to Crazy Packers Fan, as so many others have, but Iím through with these events!

Richard: So are the rest of us, but we want those coins!

Crazy Packers Fan: On your marks, get set, go!

Misty: I donít like swinging on vines! I think of Vine Whips when I think of vines!

Sure enough, the vine Misty is swinging on IS a Vine Whip- from a nearby Pokémon.

Misty: Stupid Bulba-

DK: DK gotcha!

Misty: Hey, DK actually saved me from the clutches of that Bulbasaurís Vine Whip!

DK: Oops! Sorry!

DK drops Misty to the grass-type Pokémon.

Crazy Packers Fan: Why do Pokémon keep appearing in these episodes?

Misty: Iíll battle this thing!

While Misty somehow defeats the grass monster with a fire dragon, the rest of the vine swingers get close
to the jail with Mario standing guard, when Mario accidentally trips, throwing a saw into the air. The saw snaps all the vines and lets all other 31 besides Misty crash into a pit of spikes.

Crazy Packers Fan: No one wins this one! Time for our next challenge!

Washu: NO! No more!

Misty: I keep telling you Pokémon battling is useful.

Crazy Packers Fan: Youíre lucky, thatís all, lucky!

Misty: Itís pure skill!

Crazy Packers Fan: I hope you have enough skill to tackle the next challenge, which is-

All 32: OH NO!!!

Crazy Packers Fan: I didnít even say it yet! The next challenge is Helmet! A Hammer Brother will toss
hammers at you from the air. You must race to the finish line. The first team at the finish wins the challenge!

Misty: You hate me, donít you?

Crazy Packers Fan: Get set, go!

The 32 competitors run, in sheer fright, towards the finish line, a half-mile away. The hammers bounce off
the Hammer Brothersí heads, making them invincible to the flood of hammers coming at them. Metal Mario seems quite unharmed by them too, but thatís only one of his team. The rest are crawling, dodging, and ducking, barely avoiding the hammers, but not moving anywhere at all.

Rachelle: Ready to quit yet?

Smash: We canít just quit! Weíll be out of it!

A hammer comes within an inch of hitting Smash.

Smash: Iím ready!

Crazy Packers Fan: The winners of this event are the Hammer Brothers! Since Metal Mario finished second,
his team will get second place.

Daisy pushes Wario, who rolls across the finish line.

Crazy Packers Fan: Third for the Mario Morons!

Misty finds a way to get past the finish line.

Crazy Packers Fan: And fourth for the Super Koopas! Now a look at our updated standings!

Hammer Brothers: 14
Interview Imbeciles: 11
Super Koopas: 10
Mario Morons: 7

Misty: This is starting to becoming a reoccuring theme, but, this gameís RIGGED! Weíre already in third and heading for fourth!

Crazy Packers Fan: Now for the final event, the Lion event! In a moment, Mr. Game & Watch will open up the
gates and tons of hungry lions will pour out! Your goal: Get the lions into these cages, and thereís one
point awarded for each lion that is in your cage. By the way, these cages were built by Ludwig- I mean, Dr.

Ludwig: Thatís right! Physics is my life!

Washu: (mumbling) Get a life!

Crazy Packers Fan: Ready-

Albatoss: How do we get them into the cages? We have no tools or weapons to use!

Crazy Packers Fan: Whoís competing, me or you?

Albatoss: Rats. No help.

Crazy Packers Fan: Go!

The competitors watch the gates open and start running all over the stadium.

Crazy Packers Fan: (to Ludwig) These guys are so stupid, they donít even realize that these are
robotic, harmless robots that you built yourself, and they wonít harm a fly!

Ludwig: Thatís right, not even a fly!

A lion jumps on Ludwig.

Ludwig: Hey, Iím no fly! Help! Help!

Crazy Packers Fan: Let me guess, you forgot to make robots.

Ludwig: I just remembered I ordered 13 lions instead- get it off me, Pack-man!

Crazy Packers Fan: This is funny! Go Lions!

Ten minutes later...

Crazy Packers Fan: Timeís up! Dr. Physics has been taken to the hospital. Heís not injured physically, but heís gone crazy! Letís see who won!

Misty: Get me out of here!

Crazy Packers Fan: The Super Koopas have five lions and someone else- oh, hello Misty!

Misty: Theyíre going to eat me!

Crazy Packers Fan: The Mario Morons have nine lions! How about that!

Yoshi and Wario have knives and forks and are having a meal.

Yoshi: Yoshi like even raw meat!

Wario: Lions taste good!

Crazy Packers Fan: The Hammer Brothers and Interview Imbeciles have none! Letís update the standings:

Mario Morons: 16
Super Koopas: 15
Hammer Brothers: 14
Interview Imbeciles: 11

So the teams finished this week:

1st: Mario Morons
2nd: Super Koopas
3rd: Hammer Brothers
4th: Interview Imbeciles

And adding the points:

Hammer Brothers: 250 + 30 = 280
Mario Morons: 220 + 50 = 270
Interview Imbeciles: 210 + 25 = 235
Super Koopas: 205 + 40 = 245

Which leaves our new standings:

Hammer Brothers: 280
Mario Morons: 270
Super Koopas: 245
Interview Imbeciles: 235

So, what an upset! The Super Koopas hang on, again, and the Interview Imbeciles are ejected from the game! Hereís your 1,000 coins each, for a total of 8,000 coins for the Interview Imbeciles!

DK: Cheap, but that will buy bananas!

Angry Sun: I HATE this game! I canít STAND this game!

Albatoss: Goodbye, everyone!

Crazy Packers Fan: So our new official standings, after eight episodes, are:

Hammer Brothers: 280
Mario Morons: 270
Super Koopas: 245

So, with the Super Koopas down by 25 points and the other two thinking about the championship, join us
next week, as we eliminate a team and move on to the finals!

Read on!

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