Mario TV Show
How to Make Dinner

By zora

Little Lemmy's Land Qualifier

Mario: It’s-a me, Mario! And welcome to my TV show! Today I’m going to make dinner! But first a commercial break!

Commercial: At last it has come! The story we all been waiting for... one red man… one faith...

“It’s-a me, Mario!”

Mario the movie!

Toad: Throw it in the fire!

Mario: No!

Toad: Throw it in the fire for god’s sake!

Mario: No way!

Coming to theatres soon!

End of commercial.

Mario: Let’s-a start whit the basics: first you need food.

Mario runs to the nearest trashcan, where he finds some old eggs, a half-eaten hamburger, and some used coffee.

Mario: Next you’ll need a person that can help you in the kitchen.

Toad walks by.

Mario: Hello Toad! Do you want to help me make dinner?

Toad: I will never ever in my hole #%$#” life support or help you make some dinner out off some garbage you found in the trashcans!

Mario: … You wanna help-a me make dinner?

Toad: ... Okay.

Mario takes out a bowl and mixes up the eggs, hamburger, and coffee.

Mario: Toad, can you take down that bottle with green liquid?

Toad: Why am I even doing this?

Cameraman: because you’re a loser!

Toad: Oh yeah? You’re #$”%, baby!

Cameraman: No! Not that! Not that! Buuhuu!

Toad gets the bottle.

Mario: And by the way, you should read the small print on the label first so you won’t put anything bad into your food. (reading small print) “Liquid nuclear leftovers, highly explosive, keep away from kids.” Seems good to me. What do you say, Toad?

Toad: Yeah, whatever.

Mario pours the “nuclear leftover liquid” on the mixed trash. By a miracle, nothing happens.

Mario: Now you should mix this up for about three minutes, but because it’s boring and we got no time, we’ll just put it in the oven right away!

Toad: ...

Mario puts the oven on to 10,000 degrees and puts the “food” in it.

Toad: Why do I get the bad feeling that I have to eat that thing later...?

Later...

Mario: Now when the dinner is ready I’ll have to taste it.

Toad: Woohoo!

Mario: But because I have an assistant, now I don’t need to!

Toad: Noo!

Mario gets a spoonful off “food” and tries to push it into Toad’s mouth.

Toad: No! I will not eat that! You can’t force me!

At the same time outside the TV house...

TV Producer: Hey you! Cameraman! Can you get a close up of that TV house?

Cameraman: Okay!

As the camera closes in on the TV house...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

THE TV HOUSE IS DESTROYED IN A GIGANTIC NUCLEAR BLAST!

TV producer: Oh man!!! I wonder if anyone survived that!

Mario: It’s-a me, Mario!

Cameraman: Did you have to ask?

END TRANSMISSION!

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