(The lights flick on and the cameraman zooms around the room professionally. )

Teela: WOW!!! A CAMERAMAN THAT HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE'S DOING!!!

Yoshihart: You mean, has a clue as to what he's doing?

Teela: Yeah, what you said...

(The cameraman then sticks his head out and gives a thumbs up to reveal, dare I say? BARNEY!!! NOOO!!!)

***

(Teela wakes up abruptly. The audience is just arriving. Yoshihart arrives as well, late of course...)

Teela: Where have you been? I've been awake with worry and panic!

Yoshihart: So? Our interviewee is here, right?

Teela: I think so.

(Luigi then walks in, everyone throwing cans and things at him; most the audience is part of Bowser's army.)

Karma: GRR! GET HIM!

Teela: NO! NO! Don't make me call, um, never mind. Last time I did that, I ended up in that nightmare of CLOWN SCHOOL!

(Waluigi then walks onstage as well.)

Waluigi/Teela: I'M AFRAID OF CLOWN SCHOOL!

Teela: JINX! YOU OWE ME A MILKSHAKE!

(Ash, from Pokemon, then walks on stage with a Pokeball.)

Ash: I CHOOSE YOU! JINX!

Teela: ER! EVERYONE OFF THE STAGE OR ELSE I'LL BLOW UP THE PLACE!!!

(Everyone leaves the studio. Luigi tries to do so as well, but Yoshihart stands in front of the door.)

Yoshihart: This is my first Inter- MUST RESIST! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!

Teela: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASK PEOPLE IF YOU CAN HAVE THEIR AUTOGRAPH?!

Yoshihart: Sorry, it won't happen again. I hope...

Teela: Alright then. First question. Why are your socks different colors in some of the games?

Luigi: I've got different pairs, of course! But I guess you wouldn't know that because you don't wear clothes.

Teela: *snicker* I don't think you are brave enough to do that...

(Yoshihart starts laughing as Luigi feels like an imbecile.)

Yoshihart: I've got a question. CAN-

Teela: YOSHIHART!

(Teela then starts to chase Yoshihart around the studio with a sledgehammer.)

Yoshihart: Alright! I'll stop asking for his autograph. CAN I HAVE YOUR HAT?!

Luigi: AHH!!! NO!!!

(Yoshihart then starts to chase Luigi around the studio.)

Teela: Why do you like your hat so much?

Luigi: It hides a great secret!

Yoshihart: Hm... What might that be?

Luigi: Do I look stupid enough to answer that?

Teela: HELLO! I'm The INTERVIEWER! And you are the interviewee. And, yes, you do look stupid enough to answer that.

Stupid: HEY! WHY IS MY NAME NOW STUPID?

Teela: Until you answer that question, I'll continue to call you that-

Yoshihart: Stupid.

(Teela and Yoshihart then start to laugh maniacally as Luigi stands up and pulls off his hat.)

Teela: OH MY GOSH! LUIGI HAS A BALD SPOT!!!

(The two then start to laugh like complete idiots as Luigi starts to cry.)

Yoshihart: Why are you crying? There are plenty of bald people out there... who have no hair at all…

Luigi: I WET MY PANTS!!!

Teela:.. X_X

Yoshihart: Alright. Why do you like green?

Luigi: Well, that certainly is an interesting question. I actually-

(Teela is holding her nose as Luigi looks oddly at her.)

Luigi: Why are you doing that?

Teela: You smell. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS MAN SOME NEW PANTS?

(Yoshihart suddenly disappears and comes back with freshly laundered trousers.)

Luigi: Where are the bathrooms?

Teela: We don't have time for this. Answer the stupid question, and then you can go change.

Luigi: Fine. I have green because this was the only colored cloth they had at the store. Besides, I look good in it.

Yoshihart: No, you don't.

Teela: I agree. Now you can *snicker* go change.

(Luigi leaves as Yoshihart and Teela start laughing.)

Yoshihart: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE COULDN'T TELL THAT THEY HAD POISON IVY POWDER ALL OVER THEM!!!

Teela: Shh! Here he comes.

Luigi: Eh! I'M ITCHY!!!

Teela: So? Next question. What is it like to be the sidekick?

Luigi: I don't really appreciate it, but at least I have a better chance of surviving than my brother, Mario. Who's an idiot? He always risks his life, but one day he'll get killed and then... I WILL BE NUMBER ONE!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Teela: Riggghhtt...

Yoshihart: I see. Why is it that you had hearts in your eyes when you saw Prince Peasley- OH! WHERE IS PRINCE PEASLEY? I WANT HIS AUTOGRAPH!!!

Teela: <_> What Yoshihart means is, why were you such a big Peasley fan?

Luigi: Oh, he's just soo cool! Even your friend Yoshihart wants his autograph. Understand?

Teela: No...

Yoshihart: Hmm... I don't think Teela likes Prince Peasley like you do, Luigi.

Luigi: I guess not. No bother then… SHE’S JUST NOT COOL!!!

(Teela rolls her eyes.)

Teela: Can we PLEASE get on with this Interview?

Luigi and Yoshihart: Sorry.

Teela: That's better. NOW GET DOWN AND GIVE ME FIFTY… Just kidding…

Yoshihart: I have a question, what's it like to go inside a haunted mansion?

Luigi: It's very, very dark, and spooky... and there's ghosts... and lots of noises... and...

(Luigi wets pants. Teela and Yoshihart now smell something that reeks horribly…)

Luigi: Oops! Sorry about that. Again…

Teela: Can someone get this man yet other pair of pants?

(Yoshihart runs out of the building and down the street and comes back a few minutes later with a fresh pair of pants.)

Yoshihart: Here you go.

Luigi: Thanks! But can I be excused?

Teela: Yes, but please make it brief.

(Luigi goes off, changes, and comes back.)

Teela: Ok then, next question... If your brother Mario weren’t your partner, who would you consider to be your partner?

Luigi: Hmm... That's a tough question, maybe Yoshi even though he eats a lot.

Yoshihart: EXCUSE ME?! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT TEELA AND ME ARE YOSHIS?

Luigi: Geez, who woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?

(Yoshihart starts to lunge at Luigi as Teela stops him from doing so.)

Teela: Yoshihart, please don't kill our interviewee.

Yoshihart: But, but...

Teela: Just try to relax, ok?

Yoshihart: I'll try to.

Teela: Ok, now that that's over with, how about another question?

Luigi: Sure.

Teela: Yoshihart, are you calmed down enough to ask Luigi a question?

Yoshihart: Yeah, I think so. Why is it that you and Mario can throw fire when you acquire a Fire Flower?

Luigi: Hey, you'd throw fire too if had to eat something like that!

Yoshihart: Now that's what I call spicy!

Teela: Yoshihart, this is no time to think about food.

Yoshihart: Yeah, I guess you're right.

Teela: JOKING! Hahaha… Anyway. A few more questions, and maybe one or two from the audience we have left, if any, and then I can leave!!!

Yoshihart: Why are you in such a hurry to leave, Teela?

Teela: Hehe, I’ve got some business to attend to…

Luigi: ARE YOU GOING TO KILL SOMEONE? YOU’RE SCARING ME!!!

Yoshihart: Oh… That business…

Teela: SHH!!! I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW!!!

Luigi: NOW YOU BOTH KNOW? HOW COME I DON’T KNOW?!

Yoshihart: We’re the interviewers! Now we ask the questions.

Teela: Alright. I’ll tell you what I’m up to!

Luigi: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?!

Yoshihart: First, why are your gloves white?

Luigi: Because they’re clean!

Teela: Well, that’s a dead giveaway…

Luigi: Now, what were you talking about?

Teela: Nothing.

Luigi: TELLMETELLMETELLMETELLMETELLME!!!

(Teela then pulls out a crowbar and starts to chase Luigi around.)

Yosihart: TEELA! CALM DOWN!!! I KNOW YOU WANT TO GO, BUT YOU HAVE TO DO THIS FIRST!!!

Luigi: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

Teela: Fine. I’m going to go rob Nintendo of their latest games that haven’t even been introduced to the public yet. The Nintendo owner is out in the hospital now!

Luigi: Really? Why?

Teela: GRR! STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!!!

Yoshihart: No, really, Teela. Why?

Teela: Hehe, well, when you sit around on your butt all day and eat a whole bunch of French fries, what do you expect?

Luigi: A lot of gas?

Teela: *SIGH* NO!!!  A HEART ATTACK!!!

Yoshihart: Oh, I see… Now, Luigi. Rumor has it that you’re Mario’s twin? Is this true? I mean, you look nothing alike.

Luigi: Yes. We have the same DNA, and we were born at almost the exact same time. Although, I’m two minutes older.

(Mario then walks onstage.)

Mario: Well, well, well. My younger brother escapes from the closet in which I bound and gagged him in… Hehe, you know what happens now...

Luigi: AHHHHHH!!!

Yoshihart: Well, I guess we know why he is afraid to come with Mario all the time…

Teela: Yeah.

Yoshihart: I guess it’s time to go. Want help robbing Nintendo?

Teela: I thought you’d never ask! Sure, I’d love some help!

Mario: End *socking Luigi in the nose* Transmission.

Teela: Wait! What about questions from the audience?

(Yoshihart peers out off the stage. There are no audience mebers left.)

Yoshihart: Teela.

Teela: Yes Yoshihart?

Yoshihart: Let this be a lesson to you.

Teela: What? To never do an Interview with you again?

Yoshihart: NOO!!! PLEASE LET ME DO MORE INTERVIEWS!!!

(Yoshihart is hanging on to Teela’s leg. Teela pulls out her trusty, not to mention favorite, weapon, the sledgehammer…)

Teela: End-

Yoshihaart: *gulp* Transmission…

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