YISHOTIMI AND CAPTAIN OLIMAR interview AMAZEE DAYZEE

By The Dryest Bones

Chuck: All right, I think we have the transmission back.

The Dryest Bones: What's the point? We're doomed!

Kamek: That's why I always have a healthy supply of pickled crabs in my pocket!

The Dryest Bones: That doesn't help in any way...

Kamek: Thought it would help since you became less random.

The Dryest Bones: Yeah...

Yishotimi: HOW DARE YOU TRY TO KILL ME?

Captain Olimar: And me too!

The Dryest Bones: All right, Yishotimi, your good will won't let you take revenge, and Captain Olimar is the size of a quarter. I can do it without consequence.

Lemmy: Actually, if you'd succeeded, you would've gone to the dungeon.

The Dryest Bones: Awwww!

Captain Olimar: That's beside the point! Take THIS!

(Captain Olimar uses a gun to teleport everyone in the conversation but Lemmy to Earth. He then becomes average-sized.)

Captain Olimar: Now who's the idiot?

Kamek: Still you.

Captain Olimar: Not while I have ULTRA BITTER AND SPICY SPRAY!

Chuck: *gasp*

The Dryest Bones: Fine, what do I have to do to make it up to you?

Captain Olimar: Give me one million onions so that I can rule the Pikmin world!

The Dryest Bones: How about I just hit you with this rock?

Captain Olimar: NO!

(The Dryest Bones does it anyway.)

Captain Olimar: One Interview, please!

The Dryest Bones: Wait a minute... When you were a random cameo last Interview, you didn't have your suit. How do you have it now?

Captain Olimar: Plothole?

The Dryest Bones: Works... All right, you can interview alongside Yishotimi.

Yishotimi: YAY!

Captain Olimar: But there aren't any Mario people here.

(An Amazee Dayzee passes by.)

Kamek: You were saying?

Capain Olimar: STRAP HER TO MY ROCKET!

(Chuck does so.)

The Dryest Bones: Yishotimi, I will now rate your performance.

Yishotimi: Hello everyone... Wait, who is this going to? Do we have cameras? Where's Toad?

The Dryest Bones: In order: Meta Knight, who will take people hostage and make them watch this Interview and also ask questions as our audience; yes we have cameras; and our Doctor Toad is fighting Red Virus.

In a wrestling ring...

Announcer: AND THE NEW LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD IS RED VIRUS!

Toad: @#$#@!

Red: Take it easy (moron).

Mario: Did-a somebody call it's-a me?

Back at the Interview...

Amazee: GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!

Olimar: I've got sprays...

Amazee: Never mind then.

Yishotimi: Anyway, welcome to...

Kamek: KAMEK INTERVIEWS!

The Dryest Bones: KAMEK INTERVIEWS?!

Kamek: I mean... um... Some People Who Are Lost On Another Planet's Interview Show!

The Dryest Bones: Catchy.

Yishotimi: All right, what makes an Amazee Dayzee in comparison to a Crazee Dayzee?

Amazee: Well, Dayzees are born in soils. This determines their gender, attributes, personality, and other things. I was just planted in an Amazee patch.

Captain Olimar: Why are you so rare?

Amazee: There are only two Amazee patches: a well-hidden one underground in the Flower Fields, and some person's garden in Twilight Town. Flower Fields's is hard to find, and Dayzees are uncomfortable going around Twilight townspeople.

Yishotimi: Why is your attack power 20? That's higher than the Shadow Queen, for corn's sake!

Amazee: Amazees gather power directly from the Earth. We gather some power from every being that walks on it, too. No other creature can do that, so I guess 1/1,000,000 of everyone's attack power on Plit is 20.

Captain Olimar: Do you have any resistance to explosions?

Amazee: Only Bob-omb, and not fully. Why do you ask?

Captain Olimar: No reason.

(Captain Olimar turns around.)

Captain Olimar: (into a walkie-talkie) Send in the Yellow Pikmin.

(The captain turns back to Amazee.)

Yishotimi: Why do you usually run away when Mario encounters you?

Amazy: We heard that he could get Yoshi, the only person that can destroy us in one hitm by eating us.

Yishotimi: Well, time for audience questions.

(A giant screen comes out of nowhere.)

Meta Knight (on the screen): Begin calling random seats.

Yishotimi: Seat HATEDARTIST!

Bowser Jr: Why is your HP 20? I'm sure that's not an average of the health of every being on Plit.

Amazee: That doesn't actually apply for that. Amazee skin is actually reinforced with solid gold plates. This gives us extra endurance.

Captain Olimar: Seat ICANTBELIVEYOUDDOTHIS!

Louie: I can't believe you'd go and have me kidnapped to appear on an unpopular Interview show! Anyway, why do Dayzees like singing so much? IT'S ANNOYING!

Amazee: No it's not! Dayzees have a beautiful voice, at least to plants, and trees and other plants use the non-speaking plant language to demand us to sing. Also, it's a pretty good attack.

(Captain Olimar's suit starts ringing the Pikmin song.)

Captain Olimar: Excuse me...

Yellow Pikmin (on Olimar's walkie-talkie): We can't do it! Her voice is too pretty.

Captain Olimar: SHE HAS THE VOICE OF ONE THOUSAND VOILINS BEING PLAYED BY A BRAINLESS CHIMPANZEE! YOU WILL KILL HER WITH BOMB ROCKS IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

Amazee: WHAT?!

(A mob of Yellow Pikmin come with bomb rocks.)

Captain Olimar: Say goodbye!

(They all throw the rocks at Olimar, who dies.)

Yellow Pikmin: Continue.

Yishotimi: Seat RECURRINGPUN!

General Guy: I survived! UNLOCK THE EIGHTH GATE, GATE OF DEATH!

The Dryest Bones: SECURITY!

(Fred Fredburger drops 1,000 tons of nachoes on General Guy. Bowser eats the whole thing.)

Bowser: I said I'd stop, but it's so good! Anyway, why do you give out so many Star Points when Mario defeats you?

Amazee: To beat one of us is like defeating 20 Parabeetles at once. It takes a TON of effort to make us even stay, much less survive and defeat us. And that's all I have to say about that.

Yishotimi: Seat ALSOLOOKINGFORREVENGE!

Puddle King (we melted Crystal King, and he turned into this): I hate you, but since you destroyed General Guy, I'll let it slide. Anyway, how can you survive near Twilight Trail? Don't plants need sunlight?

Amazee: At birth, those plants adjust to moonlight.

The Dryest Bones: Well, that's all the time we have for today, so...

(The Dryest Bones launches the rocket the Amazee is strapped to. It explodes after breaching the atmosphere.)

Kamek: Pretty lights!

Yellow Pikmin: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! You blew up the pretty flower girl! DIE!

The Dryest Bones: I'm already dead.

Yellow Pikmin: Oh... THEN YOU DIE!

Kamek: Don't tell me what to do!

The Dryest Bones: -_-

Yellow Pikmin: You die?

Chuck: We don't want to kill Chuck.

Yellow Pikmin: We don't want to kill Chuck.

Yishotimi: I'm FREE OF PAIN!

(Yishotimi randomly gets set on fire.)

Yishotimi: I spoke too soon.

The Dryest Bones: Great... now we're stranded on Planet Pikmin with a bunch of idiots!

(Yishotimi spreads the fire to the Yellow Pikmin, who all die.)

Chuck: 0.0

The Dryest Bones: HEY! I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO THAT!  0.0

Kamek: Idiots.

(Lightning strikes Kamek.)

Kamek: Why does this keep happening? BLAGIDYBLAGIDYBLAGIDYBLAGIDY- END TRANSMISSION!

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