(King Doopliss and Co. are seen standing in front of a supermarket.)

Ludwig from inside a box: Will you let me out yet? It’s been 3 days and I have to go to the bathroom.

King Doopliss: No. You’re never coming out.

Ludwig: But…

(Cloaked Figure kicks the box Ludwig’s in.)

King Doopliss: It’s really too bad Doopliss was able to escape. I guess we'll run into him someday.

(Doopliss walks out of the supermarket.)

King Doopliss: I knew that would work.

Doopliss: DAD, why do I always run into you lunatics?!

Lemmy: Because it appears you’re a member of our team now.

Doopliss: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(Cloaked Figure hits Doopliss over the head with a shopping cart, knocking him out.)

King Doopliss: I like that he’s already beating people up even when we aren’t doing an Interview.

Lemmy: Nope, you’re wrong. You’re interviewing some random old person today.

King Doopliss: But they smell bad.

Lemmy: Not my problem.

(Lemmy pulls out an umbrella and flies away.)

King Doopliss: Stupid defying the laws of gravity...

(Kammy walks out of the supermarket and sits down on a nearby bench.)

King Doopliss: Well she’s old, she’s a Mario character, and I can probably tolerate her for a little while. Hag, I’m interviewing you right here, right now.

Kammy: Hey! I’ll have you know I’m not that old. I’m only 35.

King Doopliss: And you look 126. You don’t age well. Now to ask you questions, why did you replace Kamek?

Kammy: Kamek was getting on in years, and he and King Bowser had a terrible fight one day so Kamek just up and left.

King Doopliss: What does he do now?

Kammy: I think he went back to his hypnosis job in the Beanbean Kingdom. Oh, I believe on the side he helps with the Mario Parties.

King Doopliss: But why would Bowser pick you for the job?! In Paper Mario you had like 10 HP, less than a regular Magikoopa.

Kammy: What I lacked in power I made up for in smarts.

King Doopliss: Which reminds me, why were you a complete idiot in PM:TTYD?

Kammy: After my humiliating defeat to that Star Kid…

King Doopliss: Boy was it humiliating.

Kammy: …I went into training to become stronger. But during the training I hit my head a few too many times, making me less intelligent.

King Doopliss: What was your training regimen?

Kammy: It was Advanced Spells and Combat Tactics.

King Doopliss: Where did you learn those?

Kammy: At the Community College of Dark Land. Go Magikoopas!

King Doopliss: Why did you just yell “Go Magikoopas!”?

Kammy: Our mascot was a Magikoopa. I was the one wearing the mascot outfit.

King Doopliss: That doesn’t surprise me.

Kammy: Quiet, you.

King Doopliss: Let me respond in the following manner.

(5 seconds later, Kammy is tied to the bench and her groceries have been eaten.)

Kammy: But I didn’t have groceries.

Cloaked Figure: Then what did I just eat?

Kammy: Makeup products and prune juice.

Cloaked Figure: Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

(He runs into the supermarket.)

King Doopliss: Well we’ll get one question from the next person who I don’t hate to walk out of the supermarket.

(Goombario walks out of the supermarket.)

King Doopliss: DAD NO!

(King Doopliss knocks Goombario out with a shopping cart.)

Kammy: Was that necessary?

King Doopliss: Yes.

Kammy: -_-‘

King Doopliss: No saying faces!

Kammy: -_-“

King Doopliss: What did I just say?!

Kammy: But…

King Doopliss: No, seriously, I don’t remember.

Kammy: -_-”’

(Luigi walks out of the supermarket.)

King Doopliss: Yo, Greeny, ask Haggy, here a question.

Luigi: I have a name, you know.

King Doopliss: Don’t care. Just ask.

Luigi: How come your only attack in Paper Mario was having a yellow block drop on the enemy?

Kammy: At the time it was my strongest spell.

Luigi: Man, you're way worse than Kamek. He’s actually powerful.

Kammy: At least my name is remembered more.

Luigi: I hate you all.

(He walks away.)

King Doopliss: Well that’s all the time we have for today. NOW GET OUT OF HERE!

(King Doopliss grabs the bench Kammy’s tied to and throws it in a nearby shopping cart. Then he pushes the cart into the nearest four-way intersection. Screams are heard.)

King Doopliss: At last she’s gone.

(Cloaked Figure walks out of the supermarket with a bag of prunes and makeup.)

King Doopliss: -_-””

Cloaked Figure: What? They tasted good.

Ludwig: I can’t breathe!

King Doopliss: Quiet, you!

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